Chapter 33
THIRTY-THREE
ATLAS
This is it—this is when you lose him.
My heartbeat pounded in my ears, like the thud of an approaching war drum announcing my imminent doom.
Surely, he would hate me for this? For watching him from across the water as he healed; while he settled into a peaceful life, imagining he was safe from frightening masked monsters, when all the while I’d never left at all?
Max stood and slowly walked over to the window. It was clear he didn’t realize what he looked at right away. Of course, it would be odd, almost uncanny, to see the mirrored view of your own home.
A few seconds passed, his head tilting this way and that as he took in the proof of just how fucked up I was over him. My insides trembled, like my organs would shake loose. My thoughts slipped against each other, coming and going faster than I could process.
All of them were of him.
Descending into ferality gave me a glimpse of what Max must’ve felt that night when he was drugged. All of my actions were out of my control, and I couldn’t focus on anything except Max.
Hell, all I could see was Max. Everyone else blurred in my periphery, moving around him like he was the center of my universe. They meant nothing to me, except as a potential threat to his safety, and to our unsecured bond.
Mate, mate, mate, my alpha chanted, climbing the chain-link fence that locked it away.
But of course, Max tamed the beast inside. He opened the gate and showed me I didn’t need a fence at all. I just needed him.
Tears pooled in my eyes. I can’t lose him.
He turned toward me, face unreadable. “Is that… Mr. Marino’s house? Is that my apartment?”
I couldn’t help the crack in my voice. “Yes.”
“You gave me your house… and moved here?”
I nodded. “I couldn’t stay away completely,” I confessed.
The words fell out like gravel, tearing me apart from the inside out.
“I told myself it would be enough that you were safe on the estate, but it wasn’t.
Not even close. So I offered the couple who’d lived in this house for thirty years enough money to change their lives, their children’s lives, and made it mine.
” I took a shaky breath. “And I watched. For two years.”
Max was still, arms limp at his sides. I couldn’t make myself look up to read his face; was he in shock? Would he start running and screaming soon?
It was what I deserved, even if it killed me.
But he didn’t run, or scream. He took one step closer. “You… are the light.”
I blinked. What? “The light?”
Another step. And another, until he stood between my parted thighs. “Look at me,” he whispered.
From the outside looking in, the story of how I met Max was simple. The big, bad wolf saw a pretty little rabbit in distress and pursued it, until eventually, the rabbit gave in to the far more powerful predator.
But that was never the truth. The real story went like this: the big, bad wolf took one look and was forever beholden to the rabbit, unable to do anything but follow it to the ends of the Earth, all because that was what the rabbit wanted.
I looked into my rabbit’s eyes, unable to do anything but obey. He was crying. Reflexively, I reached up and wiped the tear off his cheek. I hated when he cried. The only time it was acceptable was when he was overwhelmed by pleasure and stuffed to the brim with my cock.
Then, I could at least lick them from his cheeks until he laughed and pushed my face away.
“It’s been you this whole time,” he said, something like awe morphing his features into an expression I could tolerate.
“You… aren’t mad?”
“Mad?” he asked with a laugh. “Probably. Or I will be, after we sort out the part where you’re dying.”
I opened and closed my mouth. “I can’t tell if that means you’re leaving, or—”
Max’s hands cupped my face so tenderly I thought I might crawl in a hole and howl. When was the last time I was caressed so gently, so lovingly, except for by him? He touched me like my face mattered, like it had worth beyond an inconvenience to hide so I could do the only thing I was good at.
“You stayed up with me when I couldn’t sleep,” Max said, kissing my forehead. “You kept me from being all alone.” He kissed my nose. “You, Atlas. It was always you.”
Then, slowly, so slowly I thought the world might split apart in the scant distance between our lips, he kissed me.
His lips were cool against mine, and I sipped from him like he was an oasis in the desert. It was only the barest hint of a kiss, tentative and seeking, but the touch of his skin against mine sent searing, bright images of the life I never thought I was allowed to want through my mind.
Max in the throes of ecstasy of a heat free of angst and secrets.
Us, side by side, grocery shopping and arguing over what movie we’d watch later.
His swollen belly cradled in my hands while he stood at the stove, cooking something that smelled delicious.
Late nights dancing with the fireflies while someone small and precious with his hair and my eyes held each of our hands.
A home free of fear and pain.
A life with my mate.
Max ended the kiss and pulled away, eyes shining with the same promises painted by my golden hopes. “You are meant for so much more than darkness, Atlas.”
And then he smiled. “Seal the bond.”