Chapter 29 Haven #2
Was my friendship with Kai was ever real? Because it sure as hell feels like I made a lot of that shit up. Especially the good bits, where we’d make each other laugh.
It’s bad enough Ezra’s bullying got caught on camera and now there’s some video circulating around out there with my face on it…but what the hell am I going to do about the cops being involved?
Why would they even care about a stupid prank?
Unless that’s not what they’re—
“Look what the cat coughed up.”
My body locks at the sound of Kai’s voice.
Fuck. As if my night hadn’t already taken a turn for the worse. I slowly turn, my hands gripping the railing on either side of me as I face off with the guy who used to get a kick out of tying me to a tree and seeing how hard I’d struggle before begging him to cut me loose.
The fact that I got a kick out of it is no one’s fucking business but mine.
…the dark in you craves the dark in me…
“You’re following me now?” My voice is hard, my jaw clenching with annoyance.
Kai looks away as he lets out a dismissive laugh. “News flash—the earth doesn’t revolve around you, Heavenly.”
“Really? Because it feels like you’re stuck in my fucking orbit.” I try to push past him, but he sidesteps, blocking me. Then he grabs the railing on either side of me, making sure I can’t go anywhere.
“Seriously?” I tip my head back so I can glare up at him. “I thought you preferred assaulting me in private.”
There’s a flicker in his eye, a tightening around his mouth, but then he’s grinning widely, forcibly.
Fucking maniacally.
“If you don’t think we’re even after the shit you pulled this morning, then you need to get your fucking psycho head examined.
” His smile crystalizes as he leans back a little.
He presses his fingertips to his chest as he makes big eyes at me.
“But don’t take my word for it. There’s a cop out looking for you. When he finds you, ask him.”
Fuck. Fuck!
Blake wasn’t exaggerating.
I try to school my expression to something neutral, but the alcohol soaked into my brain is making it impossible to keep a straight face.
When did I last do a shot with Melissa? Because it feels like whenever that was, it’s only kicking in now. The world is all soggy, and it has nothing to do with the rain. The floor feels like a sponge, the air thick as jello.
“Don’t worry your pretty little head,” Kai says, his grin easier now that he found a bruise to prod. “I won’t say a word. Long as you do the same, of course.”
“What?”
“When that cop comes knocking, and he will, you and me—” he flicks a finger between us “—we barely know each other. Got it?”
I shove at his chest, trying to extract myself from the situation. Totally unfair that he has me cornered when I’m this intoxicated. Like taking candy from a drunk baby. I don’t stand a chance of defending myself.
Why the hell didn’t I just stay home tonight?
Because then I would have ended up at Bastian’s house.
As if his name is a summons, my eye catches sight of a tall, dark figure behind Kai.
My stomach twists into a pretzel. For a wild second, I’m sure I’m going to puke.
I almost wish I can and that Kai gets the worst of it. Like all over his shoes or something.
Wait…he’s not wearing shoes. He looks like he just crawled out of bed, with his sweat pants and rumpled hoodie.
But there’s no time to process that, because Professor Rooke…
Isn’t there anymore.
I know I didn’t imagine him this time. He must have come looking for me because I ignored his voice note.
“Hey! Fucking look at me when I’m threatening you.” Kai grabs my chin. “I need your word, Haven.”
“Professor Rooke’s here,” I mutter out as I tug free of his grip. “But please, do carry on threatening me. I was just about to break.”
Kai lets out a low growl, then throws his head around to check behind him. “Where?”
“He’s gone already, you idiot.”
There’s a dangerous gleam in Kai’s narrowed green eyes when he looks back at me. “Stop fucking around. I’m serious. You say anything to that cop about me and you, or me and Ezra, and I’ll tell them all about your little power trip this morning.”
He flinches when I let out a rough laugh. “So you didn’t go down to the police station to report me after I got out of the Uber?”
Color touches his cheeks, his eyes bright like he’s catching a fever.
I lean forward, pushing my chin out, trying to stare down my nose at him, but he’s too tall.
“You poke a hole in this ship, Kai, and we’re both going down.” I stab a finger into his chest. “Bet you didn’t think about that, huh?”
He catches my finger, wrenches it to the side. I yelp—more in surprise than pain—and a couple nearby turn to look at us. Just as quickly, they both decide they have somewhere else to be.
Fuck ‘em.
Don’t need their help anyhow.
I’ve been handling Kai’s moods since we were kids. His almost manic joy. The dark dips he’d catch afterward. The times he was more zombie than man, eyes unfocused, jaw slack, just going through the motions until I found a way to snap him out of it.
It usually resulted in me being tied to a tree, but hey, we both had our coping mechanisms back then.
“Go on,” I tell him when he tugs at my finger even harder, watching me intently. “Break it. Bet it’ll make you feel like a big, strong man.”
He leans into me so hard, so close, that I’m doing a fucking back-bend to avoid him. He grabs the back of my neck, holding me in place, and when I try to bat him away, he shoves a hand between my legs.
My body responds in all the wrong ways, of course. Face flushing, pussy clenching as his touch sends an electric thrill racing up my spine.
“Kai! Stop!” There’s a frantic edge to my voice as I try to tug his hand away. “What are you doing?”
It’s raining harder now. Not just a cute little drizzle. The pool is emptying out. Everyone’s going inside, where it’s warm. And dry. And shit isn’t going down that they can potentially be witnesses to.
People look, then look away.
Nobody’s going to save me.
And Kai fucking knows it.
It makes me so mad I want to punch something.
Kai will have to do.
There’s a satisfying crack of bone against bone when my knuckles meet the side of his face. But other than working his jaw a few times, he barely acknowledges the strike.
He’s too busy trying to slip his finger behind my underwear. And I’m too busy trying to force myself to stop him.
“Stop it!” I grab his wrist again. “I’m on my fucking period.”
“And?”
“And unless you’re planning on getting a pair of tweezers to pull my tampon out when you’re done, those fat fingers of yours aren’t going inside me.”
That makes him stop.
But for all the wrong reasons.
He leans back, slides a hand into my hair, and wrenches my head back. There’s a frantic smile on his mouth that makes a part of me shudder, and another come alive.
“That’s why you were bleeding last night.”
I roll my eyes. “And here I thought I’d have to paint a fucking picture.”
His lips form into a hard, cruel line. “You played us both.”
“Huh?”
He laughs, and it’s even worse than the smile. Kai releases my hair, grabs the railing, leans his head on my shoulder and starts rocking back and forth.
“You fucking played us, Miss H.”
So…I’m getting vibes.
Like how maybe Kai isn’t sober. Not in a ‘whoopsie, too much tequila’ kind of way. But like hardcore mind-altering chemicals have been introduced to his blood stream and have flicked on switches that should always, always be turned off.
Ducking my head to get a better look at his pupils, I whisper, “Are you on something?”
“Fuck off, Haven.”
“You’re acting—“
“What? Crazy?” His laugh sounds it. “Because anyone who doesn’t swallow everything you say, hook, line, and fucking sinker, they gotta be crazy, right?”
He presses his nose against the side of my neck, inhales a sharp breath. “I can still smell him on you. It’s like he’s soaked into your skin.”
My body’s shivering now, and it’s got nothing to do with the drops of rain reaching us under the porch roof. Or the odd gust of wind driving them to us.
It’s the way Kai’s voice drops so low, it’s rumbling.
With his face so close to mine, all I can think about is kissing him. Like I did this morning. He wouldn’t taste the same. He had Bastian’s cum in his mouth.
Bitter. Salty. Warm.
And then sweet and wet the longer we kissed.
Fuck, how can I get this turned on by someone who obviously despises me so much?
Because in that tiny sliver of a moment this morning, it didn’t feel like he hated me.
…I fucking love you…
The memory of those words he whispered to me last night send a jolt through my body.
Did that really happen? And if it did, was it genuine, or just the drugs and the sex?
The thought that it might be real, like real real, makes my chest close up. I can’t deal with that level of mindfuckery right now. It’s easier to believe he hates me than to hope, even for a second, that he maybe doesn’t.
“Why’d you try so hard to make me believe you were a virgin? You really think it matters anymore? I know what a fucking slut you—“
My knee slams into his groin.
Because seriously, I’ve fucking had it with him.
…HAVEN IS A FUCKN WHORE…
I wish I found it satisfying, watching him crumple onto the floor like a used napkin. But all I feel is pity.
Pity…and a tiny, annoying morsel of concern.
I’m the one who has to get my head examined?
I crouch down beside him, grabbing onto the railing when the world bobs a little too much on the way down.
“Stay away from me, Kai. If you see me walking down the hall, go the other way. Because I’m done being your fucking chew toy. If you follow me again, I’ll make sure that cop finds me, and I’ll make sure not to leave anything out when I tell him how inappropriate you and Bastian were last night.”
I pull myself up by the railing, not trusting my legs. “And for fuck’s sake, see a therapist.”
Kai grabs the front of my dress, hauling me down so hard that I end up on my knees beside him.
“Think I won’t sink this ship?” he hisses, pushing past the pain so evident in his tearing eyes so he can sit up and put our eyes on a level.
My heart hammers in my chest, and that sickening dread weighs down my stomach like a lead ball.
“You forget, Haven. I can afford a fucking life boat now.”
Kai grabs my jaw, his fingers sinking in hard enough to make me wince.
“I have friends, influence. You’ve got nothing. No one. Last I checked, you can’t even fucking swim.” He drags me closer until his breath is tickling my lips. “If I throw you overboard, Heavenly, you’ll drown before anyone even notices you’re gone.”