Stalking His Prey

1. Penelope

1

PENELOPE

“Can we please go hiking next week? It’s my day off.”

I give my best puppy-dog eyes to my friend Anna, who’s sitting across the table from me.

“I don’t think I can, Pen,” she sighs. “I’ve been so busy with school. If you saw the mountain of homework I’m buried under, you’d thank God every day you didn’t go to college.”

“Hey, if I could afford tuition, I’d be right there with you. And come on, those last few times were so much fun!” I protest. “What about Saturday? It’s my only day off for two weeks!”

Anna sadly shakes her head and takes a sip of her Princess Pony Cocktail, which is so bright pink that it looks radioactive. At eighteen, neither of us should be drinking at The Salty Seahorse, the definition of a dive bar. But Anna’s boyfriend, Todd, is the bouncer and always lets us in.

I’ve hardly seen Anna lately, due to both of our busy schedules. We’ve been best friends since we were about 10. Her family is from the “well-off” part of Pines Grove, Oregon, while I grew up down by the mills where the tourists never venture. We never should have met if it weren’t for a youth-league soccer team we both happened to join. Despite our different socioeconomic statuses, we became fast friends. Inseparable.

But now that I’m working two jobs waitressing and she’s started her first year of college, it’s like a fight against the universe to spend any time together.

“I definitely can’t go this Saturday,” she replies. “I’ve got a paper due on Monday that’s going to kill me. Maybe I could go next weekend. But don’t quote me.”

I moan and sip my drink. It’s bright green, called a Plump Parrot’s Twist, and don’t ask me what’s in it. All I know is it is overly sweet and I’m not that into it.

“But it’s such a good destressor!”

“You know what else is a good destressor?” Anna asks while throwing me a cartoonish wink. “Getting laid!”

I clear my throat and sit up straight, putting on my best good-girl pose. “Ahem. Don’t forget you’re talking to a virgin here.”

Anna laughs. “You may be a virgin, honey. But you’re also a little freak!”

“Hey!” I gasp, causing her to laugh even louder.

I guess that’s what I get for opening up to Anna about my sexual fantasies.

She easily dodges my half-hearted pretend-slap, then counters by reaching out and pulling my hair. “Listen, I know you, okay? And that’s why I have set up a little surprise for you tonight.”

My eyes narrow. I know Anna. This is not good.

Slyly, she indicates the bar with her eyes, where a guy in a torn oversized T-shirt and black jeans is sitting. He looks about 25 and is gazing over her shoulder in our direction.

Realization hits me in the stomach like a punch. I look back at her, eyes wide, and screen my face with a hand so whoever that is won’t be able to see me when I say, “No, way!”

“Yes, way!” Anna grins.

“You did not!”

“Babe, you’ve got to get out there already!” She giggles. “He’s Todd’s friend, and from everything I’ve heard, he’s freaky just like you .”

Waitressing has taught me to be very good at dealing with people, especially the ones you don’t like or don’t want anything to do with. So this really shouldn’t bother me. But I came out tonight specifically to relax, destress, and have some time off with my friend. Not to get set up with some “freaky” guy I don’t even know.

“This is not happening,” I say firmly. But Anna simply nods over to the guy and snaps her fingers like she’s beckoning a dog. He gets up, a grin on his face, and begins to march over toward our table.

“Oh, yes, it is!” Anna laughs.

“He could be The Tree Saw Killer! That serial killer from a few years ago! The one that killed all those women!”

Anna slaps her knee, cracking up. “He’s not a serial killer, Pen!”

“I’m gonna tell him I have COVID,” I reply, flashing my eyes at her, causing her to burst into hysterics. “A super-contagious strand that could kill him if he gets anywhere near me.”

“Would you relax?” Anna cackles. “His name is Mack. Just be cool, all right? Don’t make me look bad.”

“Make you look bad? I just wanted to relax–”

“Hello, ladies!”

I try not to visibly cringe at the sound of Mack’s dreadfully corny greeting. Anna looks up, all smiles, while I keep my eyes on the table. He sounds like either the most arrogant guy on the planet or someone who has studied how to be a pickup artist on YouTube.

“Hey, Mack,” Anna says. “This is my friend, Penelope, the one I was telling you about. Penelope, say hi to Mack.”

If I could jump across this table right now and throttle her, I would. Not really, of course. I love her too much. But she’s gonna see some serious payback for this one.

I force myself to face Mack. He looks like a lanky pretty-boy who just stepped out of an Urban Outfitters catalog. Totally not my type. However, I force myself to smile the fakest smile I’ve ever smiled in my life.

“Hi to Mack,” I say flatly.

Anna slaps me on the arm and laughs. “She’s being silly, Mack. Have a seat!”

The overwhelming scent of Axe cologne wafts into my nose as I shift to the left to make room in the booth for my new suitor.

Axe? Seriously?

“So how you two ladies doing tonight?” Mack asks, sounding like a frat boy getting ready to offer us spiked drinks.

“Well, Mack, I’m great,” Anna replies. “But my friend here, Penelope? She’s not doing so well.”

My stomach drops, and I do my best to shoot Anna a glare that won’t be picked up by Mack. It must be my waitress training, but I don’t want to be rude to some guy I’ve never met, despite the fact that he’s coming off like a sleazy salesman. Then again, people do always tell me I’m way too nice.

“Oh?” Mack grins, sliding his arm over the back of the booth behind me. “And why’s that?”

The scent of his cologne overpowers everything, invading my nose like a toxic gas. I can smell the stench of sweat from his pits beneath it. Did he even bother to shower this morning? Or did he just bathe himself in spray and think that would be all right?

I can’t take this any longer. I’m going to be physically sick.

“I have lethal COVID,” I say.

“Say what!?” Mack jumps out of his seat, looking like he’s about to sprint for the door.

“She’s kidding!” Anna quickly replies. “She doesn’t have ‘lethal COVID.’ She’s not even sick. That’s just her sense of humor.”

Mack looks back skeptically, takes a sip of his beer, then actually smiles approvingly at me. God, this guy must be horny. I can see the singular goal in his eyes. The goal of getting some.

“You know, I heard through the grapevine you had.... unconventional tastes.” I cringe even harder. Is he serious right now? “I guess that extends to your sense of humor too, eh?”

“She sure is a kidder!” Anna assures him. Mack nods and sits back down. I down whatever’s left of my drink. God do I need it right now.

“So, Penelope. Why don’t I tell you a little about myself?” Oh, Lord, here we go. “As you know, my name’s Mack, I’m twenty-six, a Sagittarius, and I do drop-shipping online for a living.”

“That sounds great.” Anna nods.

“And unlike other men who are too pussy to go all the way—” My body goes tense. Where’s he going with this? “I absolutely love to eat the ass of a pretty girl such as yourself.”

Even Anna has to clasp her hands over her mouth to stop herself from bursting out laughing as Mack drops that bomb on us.

My jaw drops, but I don’t even try to hide it as I turn to look at him in bewilderment.How could he possibly think that was the right thing to say just now?

“Mack, let me tell you something,” I reply, nudging his leg with my knee, signaling to him to move so I can get up. He does. “My wonderful friend, Anna, here must not have told you that I’m actually a virgin.”

“Hey, nothing wrong with that–”

“And men like you are precisely why that is the case,” I snap back. I turn to Anna and toss her a twenty for my share of the drinks. “Tell Todd that if he wants to recommend a guy to me again, find The Tree Saw Killer. At least he’ll put me out of my misery.”

And with that, I spin on my uncomfortable heels that I broke out just for tonight and march out the door.

What an epic disaster.

Men. They think they know what you want, but they never truly do.