11. Penelope
11
PENELOPE
Anna hands me a warm cup of tea and sits down on the couch beside me. I stare blankly at it, watching the rings in the fluid, the tiny little waves as they slowly settle.
“Hawk…he can’t be…” I finally mutter. “He can’t be a killer…”
Anna wraps me in a comforting hug that I desperately need right now, but it does little to fill the massive hole that I can feel forming in my chest. It feels as though I’ve been speared through the heart with a sword made from ice.
“A serial killer? I don’t believe it…”
The truth is, I don’t want to believe it.
I fell so hard for him and gifted him with my complete trust, and now I’m struggling to come to terms with the fact that the man who changed my life forever was just arrested by half of Pine Grove’s police force and was dragged out of the bar in handcuffs.
“I’m so sorry, Pen,” Anna whispers. She’s doing her best to comfort me, but I’m completely numb to everything right now.
No, that’s not true.
One emotion has a firm, painful grip over me: betrayal.
If these charges against Hawk are true, then that means he betrayed me in a way that I will never be able to recover from. What we shared together in the woods and his cabin goes beyond any kind of bliss I ever felt possible. Hawk gave me an experience so special that it will be embedded in my very soul for the rest of my life.
And to think that it could all be spoiled now by what happened back at the bar…
How will I go on?
“He can’t be…” I mutter again, as if on repeat.
Todd is in the kitchen, getting together some snacks for everyone, while Mack is standing in the corner with his arms crossed. Somehow, he ended up back here with us. I guess Todd invited him for some reason.
I still don’t like the look of him. He seems almost happy with what just happened. Does he think that if Hawk is out of the way, he will have another chance with me?
“It makes perfect sense!” he says with a shrug. “That dude lives in a cabin in the woods! Is that not a perfect location for a serial killer? Think about how easily he could be hiding bodies out there!”
“Mack, would you shut up?” Anna hisses. “You’re not helping.”
“ I’m not helping?” Mack scoffs. “That guy was about to pick a fight with me because he didn’t like where I was looking!”
Anna shoots Mack a scolding glance, which shuts him up for the moment. I pick up my tea and take a sip. Ginger-orange. I feel my sinuses opening up as I inhale the steam and close my eyes, trying to shut out the dreadful reality that has come crashing down on me like an avalanche.
Images of Hawk flash into my mind: him standing behind me, shirtless with his mask on…the coil of rope in his hand…him chasing me naked through the woods…him holding a knife up to my face…
Could he actually be the fabled Tree Saw Killer that’s eluded the police for the last few years?
“No!” I blurt out, opening my eyes. “It’s not him!”
My dramatic outburst causes my entire body to shake, and I spill tea everywhere, including all over my hands and arms. The steaming water stings my skin, but I’m not affected. I have bigger things on my mind right now.
“Unbelievable,” Mack scoffs once more. “Look at the facts! The cops found blood in the back of his truck.”
“So? He lives in the woods. Maybe it was from hunting!”
“The cops said it was human blood,” Mack counters. My heart skips a beat. I glance over at Anna, who sadly nods her head.
“That is…super sketchy,” Todd agrees.
“And think about how you two met,” Anna says softly. “Is a man who chases you down with a mask, threatens you with a knife, ties you up and carries you back to his cabin in the woods really…normal?”
I rocket to my feet, overwhelmed by a rush of painful emotion.
“I loved what he did to me!” I lash out as tears spill down my cheeks. “Does that mean I’m not normal ? ” Everyone just looks at me.
“The fact that Hawk helped me fulfill a fantasy of mine does not make him a killer!”
“So why did the cops arrest him?” Mack laughs. “What about the blood? You think they just randomly picked him up for no reason? They’ve clearly been tracking him–”
“We don’t know that,” Anna interrupts. But yet again, Mack simply laughs as though we’re both idiots.
“Come on, Mack,” Todd chimes in. “Give it a rest.”
“Women are ridiculous!” he sneers, throwing his hands up. “I make one joke she doesn’t like and she walks out on me, then Hawk tries to start a fight with me, and she’s defending him? How dumb can you be?”
“That’s enough, Mack,” Todd says sternly. He brings some chips and salsa over and sets it on the coffee table. “It’s been an emotional day already. Let’s not make things worse.”
Todd takes pulls up a seat and starts snacking, but I’m still too torn up to even function, let alone eat. Anna rubs my back, doing her best to comfort me, but my mind is so scattered I’m having a hard time deciphering how I should really think about this.
Could Hawk actually be The Tree Saw killer?
I desperately don’t want to believe it, but am I thinking emotionally or rationally now?
Mack, despite being a jackass who clearly still thinks he has a chance with me, has actually made some decent points that I can’t ignore.
Why the blood in his truck? Why would the cops be on him like that without reason? Living in a cabin off the grid would provide him with a perfect place to commit his crimes…
But you know him! I scream at myself inside.
But is that true? How well do I know him really?
I know that he’s touched me in a way no one else has before, and I don’t mean just physically. I came alive after my experience with Hawk. I became a new person thanks to him. And doubting him now makes me feel like I’m betraying him.
“Anna?” I finally manage to say, turning to look at her. “What do you think?”
I can see the hesitance in her eyes, but after a moment, she shrugs softly and looks back at me with sympathetic eyes. “I think there’s just too much to ignore here.”
My stomach sinks.
“Thank you! Finally!” Mack says loudly.
Something inside me breaks, and tears flow from my eyes with abandon. I bury my face in my hands as despair washes over me. I’m on the brink of a full-fledged nervous breakdown when there’s a loud knock at the door.
“Are we expecting someone?” Todd asks as he stands. We all shake our heads. “Maybe it’s that grocery order I called in yesterday that never showed up.”
Todd chuckles at his bad attempt to lighten the mood, then opens the door.
Hawk stands there, his face stern, filling the doorway with his broad shoulders.
Anna gasps as he steps past Todd into the living room, and I nearly have a heart attack as I’m flooded with an overwhelming urge to throw myself into his arms, but at the same time, am nearly paralyzed by fear.
I hate myself for being scared of him.
But how else should I feel?
He turns to me, and our eyes meet, and all those wondrous feelings start to rise up again, and I realize that I’m absolutely nowhere near in control of myself.
“Are you okay, Pen?” he asks in a tone that reaches out like a warm hand to touch me.
“I’m–”
“Whoa, buddy,” Todd says, immediately stepping in front of Hawk to block his path. “What the hell do you think you’re doing here?”
“How’d you get out, more importantly?” Mack snarls. The tension in the room is tangible. Todd and Mack both look ready to throw down if need be, but Hawk simply stands there calm and cool, his eyes fixed on me.
“The cops released me,” he says coolly.
“Released you!?” Mack looks like he cannot believe what he’s hearing. Hawk looks directly at him with such severity in his eyes that the entire room bloats with pressure.
“That’s right.” He nods.
“But how?”
“Simple really,” Hawk replies, something close to a smile creeping into his lips. “I had alibis for every one of The Tree Saw Killer’s murders.”
Elation overwhelms me. My entire body begins to relax as more tears pour from my eyes.
I knew it couldn’t have been him!
“Solid alibis?” Todd asks.
Hawk laughs. “No. Soft alibis that the police thought were good enough to release a possible serial killer back into the world.” He rolls his eyes. “Of course they were solid!”
“Bullshit!” Mack counters, taking a combative stance between me and Anna and Hawk. “You made shit up and had people cover for you! What about the blood in your truck?”
“Well, it’s funny you should mention that,” Hawk replies, definitely smiling now. He takes a step forward. This time, Todd makes no attempt to block him. “I had some tools stolen from my truck last year, and ever since then, I’ve kept a security camera inside, hidden beneath the dash. It can hold about two days’ worth of footage on it…”
Mack looks like he’s ready to make a move any moment.
“And you know what it showed when I gave it to the police?” Hawk asks. “It showed someone planting that blood in the back of my truck. And that someone…”—Hawk points directly at Mack—“was you .”
Mack moves fast. The gun is in his hand and aimed at Hawk before I can even blink.
My jaw goes so tight as I bite my teeth in terror. This can’t actually be happening.
I try to swallow, but my throat is too dry, causing me to choke and cough on my own saliva. I grip Anna’s hand as Mack circles the room, making for the door.
“It’s no use, Mack.” Hawk stands there like a stone statue, apparently unfazed as he stares down the possibility of death. “The cops are right behind me. You’ll never get away.”
“Shut up!” Mack snaps. His face is red, and beads of sweat are dripping from his chin. “You pathetic son of a bitch, you really think you’re hot shit, don’t you? Do you know how long I’ve been doing this? I always get away with it!”
“Not this time,” Hawk says, his voice unwavering.
“I’m The Tree Saw Killer!” Mack cackles, sounding like another man entirely. “I’m a legend! None of you pathetic little ants will ever catch me!”
A fearful gasp wrenches its way from my throat.
I slap a hand over my mouth, but it’s too late. I got his attention.
Mack’s eyes snap to me, filled with panic and hopelessness. He twists and aims the gun straight at me, and my heart nearly explodes.
How is this happening? He was hitting on me just last week!
“Come on, bitch! You’re coming with me!” He motions with the barrel toward the door and glances back at Hawk. “I’m leaving, and I’m taking her with me. You try to stop me, and I put a bullet in your new girlfriend’s brain. You got that?”
The sounds of police sirens fill the air outside. They’re closing in on the apartment. Panic pours into Mack’s eyes as the sounds grow closer. He jerks the pistol at me again and motions with his head toward the door.
“Up! Now!” he shouts. “Let’s go!”
What choice do I have?
I try to stand, but my body is paralyzed by fear. I’m barely even able to breathe. My chest feels like it’s on fire with every breath of air I gasp.
“Now–!”
What happens next happens so quickly it’s like watching a video on double-speed.
I force myself to stand, but before I can take a single step toward Mack, Hawk lunges straight at him like a leopard pouncing on a kill.
Mack shouts with panic and whirls.
The gun goes off. A loud bang nearly shatters my eardrums, and blood sprays the white wall as Hawk throws Mack to the floor.
Anna screams as Hawk pummels Mack’s face with his fists.
“You son of a bitch!”
Police flood into the apartment, their own weapons drawn.
“Help him!” I scream out in panic.
“Hawk!” the leading officer shouts out as he rushes to his side. “That’s enough, buddy. You got him. You got him.”
It takes two cops to pull Hawk off of Mack, who lies on the floor out cold.
“Medic!” another officer shouts and my heart, once again, threatens to tear its way out of my chest. “We need a medic here now!”
“Hawk!”
I throw myself down on the floor beside him, my breath coming in short, painful gasps as blood spills from the bullet wound in his chest.
No! This can’t be happening!
I’m nothing more than a brutal collision of emotions, tangled together as I fight to somehow get it together. Terror, relief, concern, love. They all tear at me as tears spill from my blurry eyes.
I slip quickly out of my jacket and press it over the seeping hole in his body. I can feel his heart pounding out of control against my palms as I apply pressure.
“Help!” I cry out through the noise surrounding me. I lean in and tap Hawk’s cheek with my hand, forcing him to look up at me. “Hawk! It’s okay, you’re going to be okay!”
Even now, he fights to smile for me.
“Pen…” He’s struggling just to speak as he looks into my eyes. “Don’t…worry…you’re safe…”
Tears waterfall from my cheeks and down onto his chest as his head slumps to one side.
The sound of the world fades away into a distant murmur as the real possibility of losing Hawk slams into me.
How could I have ever doubted this man? It makes me sick just thinking about it.
“Don’t die on me, Hawk,” I plead. “Don’t leave me!”