6. Taylor
6
TAYLOR
A black site. Secret detention centers operated across the world by the CIA where people who have yet to be charged with a crime can be held and interrogated. The agency operates two such sites here in Texas, and I’ve been summoned to one today.
“He’s a low-level smuggler,” Neal explains as he opens the steel door and I follow him into the tiny cell-like room. “Apprehended bringing a shipment of drugs over the border. Along with two trucks of women.”
“Human trafficking?”
Neal nods. “Real charmer, this one.”
I’ve dealt with guys like this plenty of times throughout my career. Worse men too. I’ve always managed to handle it just fine. Just part of the job. But now as I stare at the man zip-tied to the chair, I feel my insides twist into knots. Something’s changed now, and I know what it is.
Layla.
This son of a bitch works for her uncle, Pablo, and when I think of those women who were being smuggled in those trucks against their will, I feel a more personal connection to their situation and feel sick to my stomach.
Before Layla, this was just one of many such moments. They’d never resonate emotionally with me because of how disconnected from the world I was. But now I’m in love. Now I can’t help but think of how terrified those poor women must be. Of all the husbands, fathers, brothers, boyfriends, uncles, who are worried sick for them, and how helpless they must feel, knowing that they can’t stand up to the cartels.
Well, that’s where we come in.
“You break him yet?” I ask.
Neal sighs and shakes his head. “Hasn’t said a word. Guess he thinks his boss will be harder on him than we will if he talks.”
“He’s probably right,” I say, keeping my voice down.
Neal leans in and raises his voice. “You better tell us something, pal! The chances of you seeing daylight ever again are getting slimmer and slimmer!”
The man doesn’t even flinch. He simply sits there, staring at nothing, sweating under the heat from the spotlight beaming down on him.
His cruelty and evil enrage me. How could a man do such despicable things to women? And for money? Men were put on this earth to protect and take care of women. I’ve only been away from Layla for two hours now, and I’m already having withdrawals, feeling helpless at the fact that I’m not close to her. Anything could happen, and I wouldn’t be there to help her.
It’s been just over five weeks since she first blessed my eyes with her beauty, and this is the longest I’ve been away from her since. And it’s nothing but torture. I can’t stop thinking about what she would do if she found out where I was now.
She’d explode on me.
She’d leave.
My heart starts thudding so hard I begin to feel lightheaded. I brace myself against the wall and suck deep breaths through my nose and out again through my mouth, doing my best to calm down. If only Layla were here with me now. But that would be impossible. Then she would discover the truth of who I am. And that would be a catastrophe.
But how long can I really keep this subterfuge going? How long can I continue to lie about working construction, having friends who I turn down when they invite me out for beers because I want to spend time with her? What happens when we finally move on her uncle, and the hard truth about what I do comes out? Christ, Layla will never want to marry a man who’s been stalking her, lying to her, spying on her.
A fear strikes me deep in the chest as I look at the captured cartel man secured to the chair: Am I really better than him?
His crimes may be overt while mine are covert, but we both are ruthless bastards, willing to do whatever we must to get what we want.
I’m complicit in holding him here without due process because I believe in our mission objective. But does that make it okay?
Should Layla place her trust in a man like me?
I’m so addicted to her that the idea of her leaving me nearly causes me to spiral out of control. Even now, while I’m at work for the CIA, all I’m thinking about is her. I’m aching to be near her again. And I have to believe she’s aching for me too. It’s like we have an invisible cord between us, attached to each of our hearts, stretching across any distance we travel yet constantly pulling us back to each other. My identity may be a cover, but my love for her is real. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do to keep her safe.
“Listen,” Neal whispers, taking me to the corner of the room. “I don’t think we’ll break this guy. You get an official invite to Pablo’s birthday?”
“No, but I’ll make that happen,” I respond. “But remember, I’ll be with Layla–”
“No kidding,” he laughs. “Is that supposed to be a problem or something?”
“No, I…”
Shit. Neal’s no rookie. He’s gonna see right through me.
And he does.
“You’ve fallen for her!” he hisses, wringing his hands in front of him. “Christ, what’s the first rule of undercover work?!”
“I know, all right!?” I snap. “I didn’t expect it to happen. It just did.”
“And now we’re screwed,” he says, pulling out his phone. “I’ve got to pull you off this one.”
I grab his phone before he can dial. “No! You’re not pulling me off anything. I can do this.”
My pulse is rapid. My hands are hot. I’m quivering, doing my best to keep it together.
“You sure about that?”
I nod emphatically. “You’re damn right. I’ll go down with her and take him out myself.”
Neal nods slowly. I can see his skepticism. “I’ll have two teams standing by. You make sure you send us your location when you get there.”
“No teams,” I growl, stepping forward. “This is my assignment. I’ll take care of it.”
I start feeling better immediately after parking my truck on Layla’s block. The feeling only amplifies as I practically sprint up the sidewalk to the door of her building. I’m a manic mess as I ride the elevator up to her unit and knock on her door. It can’t be more than four seconds before she opens it and throws herself into my arms, but it feels like an eternity.
“Hey there, soldier,” she whispers before kissing me. My body stiffens.
Soldier?
“Why would you call me that?” I ask, forcing a smile so as to not make things weird. Layla shrugs and smiles.
“I dunno. I just thought it was fitting on you. You’re so big and strong and capable. I guess that’s what you get from being in construction, though, right?”
I nod. “Right.”
This feels…off. The way she’s talking to me, the words she’s choosing–it all feels like classic counterintelligence. Like a foreign asset trying to smoke out my cover.
But that can’t be what’s happening here, can it? There’s no chance Layla is anything but who she claims to be. The agency would have picked up on that before signing off on this mission. And I’ve had my eyes on her for weeks. If she was a double-agent of any kind, I’d know.
I hate myself for suspecting her.
What am I even thinking?
Layla is my everything. My shining light in the darkness of my life. The woman I do everything for. My spy training is telling me to be wary of the questions she’s asking, but my heart is viciously scolding me for even thinking she could ever be anything other than my love. My obsession.
“How was work today?” I ask her, carrying her down the hall toward the bathroom. Maybe once I get her undressed and into the shower with me, I’ll be able to get control of myself again. Well, I may lose control when I get my hands on her, but that’s a different kind of control I don’t mind losing. And neither does she.
“Same as always,” she replies. I knead the firm flesh of her ass and close my eyes as I inhale her scent. It’s amazing how quickly I begin to feel at home as her fragrance enters my nose. I reach out to turn on the shower, but Layla stops me. “Baby, are you sure there’s nothing wrong?”
“Wrong?” I ask. “What would be wrong?”
“I don’t know.” She shrugs. “You just seem…off today. And lately if I’m being honest.”
The knots in my insides start to form again. I can see where this is going.
I’m going to have to lie to her. And I hate myself for that.
“Maybe I am just a little jaded by work. We’ve got a couple of new guys who are real pains in the ass.”
Layla pauses before she responds.
My throat is dry. I swallow hard.
“Speaking of which. Why is it that I’ve never been to your work before?”
I force a laugh. Another lie. “Why would you want to come? There’s nothing too exciting about a construction site. Most of the time it’s just guys standing around waiting for something to be done so they can get back to work.”
Layla nods. She’s not buying it. “And the guys you work with? How come I’ve never met any of them? It’s okay if you want to invite them over here, you know. I wouldn’t mind.”
Jesus, she’s so sweet.
Here I am, lying to her about having work friends at my fake construction job, and she’s trying to shoulder some of the blame for why I haven’t brought them around to meet her yet.
“That’s sweet of you, love,” I say, finding the strength to smile as my heart races. “But this isn’t exactly the right environment for them. They’re more of the bar and beers kind of guys, if you know what I mean.”
More lies.
Layers and layers of lies, like a building built on a rotten foundation. And what happens when that foundation finally collapses?
“I’m just saying,” Layla says sweetly. “That if you ever wanna bring them by here–”
“I know what you’re saying.” I smirk, snatching her shirt off to reveal her perfect, perky tits. “And if I ever want to bore you to death, I’ll take you up on the offer.”
I press my face between her perfect breasts, causing Layla to gasp as I move my lips to each nipple, sucking gently as though they were the most perfect little gum drops. This time, she lets me reach out and turn on the water, and I continue stripping her out of her clothes until she’s gorgeous in her nakedness, her smooth skin sending warmth through the rough skin of my hands.
The pure decadence of her body is overwhelming, and I groan as my pants drop, releasing my painful erection. Being away from her today was agonizing, but I didn’t realize until I was back in her company just how excruciating it truly was.
I step under the warm water with her, running my hands up the delicious curve of her lower back. “All I know, Layla, is that I love being here with you.”
She raises her gorgeous eyes to mine, and I see her still trying to work out if there’s something up with me. “I know that, baby.”
“I just wanted to make sure.” And that’s not a lie. Pablo’s birthday is in two days, and I can’t predict how things are going to go down there. Even if I’m able to successfully execute my objective, that means finally revealing my truth to Layla.
And how she reacts…
Well, that’s just another thing I can’t predict.
“I love you too, Taylor.” She smiles, using my false name.
Ryder, I want to tell her. Call me by my real name, my love.
But I can’t. For now it’s Taylor. I’ll continue to live this false life, this lie. And I’ll continue to hope that somehow, Layla and I will be together when all is said and done. Because I know I can’t live without her. Not anymore.