7. Ali
7
ALI
THREE WEEKS LATER…
I don’t know why I’m still stalking Parker. There’s nothing left to learn. He told me everything.
Ex-Mafia hitman. Criminal. Assassin. Raised by the mob after he lost his father on his thirteenth birthday. I saw the fear in his eyes as he revealed his past to me. He was terrified that I would leave him. And I probably should have...
That’s what any normal girl would do.
But I’m not normal. Parker isn’t normal. We’re broken. Twisted. We both share the traumas of losing our fathers, and maybe that’s one of the reasons why we’re so right for each other. Like two matching pieces of some terrible puzzle that fit together with such precision that the end result is sublime.
We’ve only grown closer since he confessed his sins to me.
He told me how he left his old life in New York to come to Gatree and start over. He told me how hard he tried not to stalk me, but he was eventually overwhelmed by my beauty and couldn’t resist.
Talk about melting a girl’s heart.
Parker wants to be a new man for me and tells me daily how he’s continuing to strive to be more. But I believe he’s already made his transformation. Even when he thought I was working for the FBI, he stopped himself from killing me. Why? Because he loves me. Because we’re not just some boring couple taking things slowly to see where they go. We’re a guy and a girl who are truly meant for each other.
I mean, he’s my boyfriend, and I’m stalking his every move. Is that normal? Of course not. But it is exciting. I’m thrilled whenever I watch him, wondering if he knows I’m there when I’m spying on him from across the street or following from behind when he’s walking to his car. I had to switch to a new shampoo with a different scent, as he was too used to the old one and could sniff me out from a mile away.
Despite the fact that we’ve made things official, things haven’t really changed that much. And I don’t think either of us want them to. Sure, I go over to his place from time to time and we have take-out and watch Netflix. And sometimes he comes over to my apartment in the evening and I cook for him and we snuggle up on the couch for a movie. But that hasn’t stopped either of us from continuing our deviant behavior.
I still stalk him, and he still stalks me.
I love the sensation of coming home and knowing he’s across the street watching me through his binoculars. I like to tease him with skimpy little outfits, giving him flashes of my semi-naked body, imagining what effect I’m having on him. It’s like I’m a stripper putting on a private performance for only one man.
Parker still sneaks into my bedroom at night as well. Only recently, he’s become unpredictable with his visits. I try my best to stay awake as late as possible so I can play along with our little fantasy. But more than once in the last week, I’ve been woken up in the middle of the night by his cock spreading me open and his mouth enveloping mine in a greedy kiss.
I love how much he loves me.
How much he needs me.
The kind of protectiveness and ownership I receive from him is like nothing I’ve ever felt before in my life. My mom did her best after Dad left, but I’ve never had this kind of care from a man. A father figure. I always knew I had a hole inside of me left over from when I was young. I just never knew how big it was. Parker fills that hole for me.
He also fills my other hole too…
Exceptionally well.
Class got out early today, so I managed to make it over to his work for a little bit of stalking fun. He’s right where he usually is. Sitting on his stool by the door, looking just as handsome as ever. His suit today is dark blue with a brick-collared shirt with a checkered black and gray tie. I really need to go buy some nice dresses sometime and wear one when he sneaks over one night. Then we could be a couple of classy deviants while we fuck.
I’m craving him, as I always do.
Parker told me he developed an ache inside when he first saw me. An ache that never went away, which is why he first began to stalk me. I fully understand that now, as I’ve developed that ache too. When I’m not with him, it’s like there’s some invisible clawed hand that’s tugging at me, pulling on me to go to wherever he is. He says he feels it too, and even though I know it’s stupid, I’m starting to think that force might be real.
I finally told the girls about him. I left the whole ex-Mafia hitman thing out, of course, and just gave them the part about him being a security guard. They ate that right up. Thought it was super sexy. Amy especially liked the part where he was almost thirty.
“See? I told you this bitch was into older guys,” she laughed triumphantly. “So it wasn’t Mr. Gengris. Whatever. I’m sure this guy’s way hotter.”
I still haven’t let them meet him just yet. I’m not sure why. It’s not like I’m worried about them stealing him away from me or anything. Parker is mine. I belong to him, and he belongs to me. That’s that. It’s like a law of the universe at this point. I guess it’s just that I feel like my relationship with Parker is the only thing in my life I’ve ever had that is truly mine. And for now, I don’t want to share. And if that means making my friends wait a little longer before I introduce him, then they’ll have to wait.
I frown as I see Janice eyeing him from her desk. She’s about to go over to him again. I can tell. Parker has assured me, though, just like I thought, that he wants nothing to do with her and she just keeps hitting on him despite his best efforts to show her his disinterest. But apparently that doesn’t stop her.
“Step off, bitch,” I mutter, popping a handful of cinnamon almonds into my mouth.
The last fifteen minutes of Parker’s work day seem to fly by as I watch him, and before I know it, he’s standing up and heading to his car. I watch him from mine, slouched down to avoid detection. He probably knows I’m here anyway, but he doesn’t show it. Why ruin the fun of our game?
I love watching him move. He’s so controlled. Like a fighter. Although I’ve seen him naked plenty of times, my eyes are still drawn to his muscular bubble-butt as he walks up the block. One of the things I love is grabbing it and hanging on for dear life as he pounds me into the mattress.
As he reaches into his pocket to grab his keys, I admire his shoulders and the way his suit jacket hangs from his sculpted body.
Goddamn, what a man he is.
He starts his car and pulls away, and I’m just about to start mine up and follow him when I see Janice coming out the front door. She’s wearing heels but nearly jogging as she crosses the street. Am I crazy, or is she heading toward me?
Nope, she’s definitely coming over here.
Janice makes a beeline at me and comes right up to my window, a wide, semi-psychotic smile on her face. As if I can’t see her, she raps on the glass to get my attention.
I’m cringing. What now? Am I supposed to talk to this woman?
And what does she even want from me?
Well, it’s too late to drive off now. She’s seen me, and she knows I’ve seen her. I do the only thing I can do. I roll down the window.
“Yes?” I ask as politely as possible, trying not to let on that I want nothing to do with her.
“Ali, right?” Okay. Weird. How does she know my name? “Hi, I’m Janice.”
She extends her hand, but I don’t take it. I feel exposed. Slightly threatened. Parker is gone, probably headed to my school where he thinks I am right now, and I’m being ambushed by this woman from his office who is looking at me with crazy eyes.
“You and I should talk,” she says. Yeah, this is getting too strange for me.
“Nah, I’m good,” I say as I start to roll up the window.
“You’re dating Parker, aren’t you?”
“Gotta go!” I say, forcing an obviously fake smile.
“He stalked me too!”
Her words freeze me like I’ve just been caught in an arctic blast. Every cell in my body stutters and goes into slow-mo. A pit forms in my stomach, and goosebumps instantly break out over my arms and legs.
“What…?” I mutter. “What did you just say?”
“I hate to tell you this, hun. But your man is not who you think he is.”
My body relaxes a little. “Sorry, I know who Parker really is, thank you. We’re fine.”
“You’re fine with the fact that your man has been, and still is, stalking me?” she counters, her words like a jagged knife scraping its way down my spine.
What she’s saying can’t be possible. How could it? Parker stalks me. He’s with me. And when he’s not stalking me, I’m stalking him. He wouldn’t even have time to be stalking Janice…
Unless it was in the middle of the night when I’m asleep.
My heart skips a beat as my mind is instantly flooded with images of Parker climbing through Janice’s window, creeping over to her bed, pulling back her sheets to expose her lying there naked–still wearing her goddamn work heels, of course.
“That’s impossible,” I say stiffly. “You’re lying.”
Janice shakes her head. “I wish I was, girl. I truly do. I see the pain in your eyes now, and I know you think I put it there, but search your heart. You know whose fault this is.”
“How can I believe you?” I snap, feelings of betrayal boiling up within me like magma sweltering beneath the earth.
“Well, let me ask you this. Did Parker ever camp out in front of your house and watch you through your window? Did he ever break into your apartment while he thought you were asleep?”
The pit in my stomach grows.
This can’t be happening.
“You’re just making things up,” I lash out as more emotions crash through me like a meteor striking the planet.
“475 South Bleaker Drive,” Janice says slowly. Parker’s address. Any remaining doubt I had left is quickly eroding.
But how can I believe this woman? Where is my loyalty to Parker?
Maybe we’ve only been official for a few weeks, but he confessed everything to me when I confronted him. I put my trust in him.
Did I make a mistake?
“How could you know this?” I ask, not sure if I even want to know the answer.
“Because he did the same thing to me.” Janice nods, not even trying to hide the pity in her eyes. I hide mine as they begin to fill with tears.
“And…what did you do?”
She shrugs. “At first it kind of weirded me out. But Parker convinced me it was romantic, and well, we just ended up together. We’ve been boyfriend and girlfriend now for a few months. We just try to keep things discreet at work as they have a policy against co-workers dating.”
I can’t stop it now. My heart shatters into a thousand tiny, irreparable pieces. My insides sting as if each one of those shards has embedded itself into my flesh, causing internal bleeding. Cold betrayal bleeds into my bones like icy sludge.
It all makes sense now. Parker and Janice’s interactions in the lobby. The way she dresses for him, the way she flirts with him. How he pretends not to be into her. They’re a couple pretending not to be a couple because they don’t want to get fired. And according to her, they’ve been together since before he even began stalking me.
“I’m really sorry to have to be the one to tell you this,” Janice continues. “I mean–he’s screwing us both over.”
The image of my mother’s face fills my mind–the moment she found out my father had cheated on her. Is that what I look like now? Like mother like daughter?
No. I won’t make her mistake. I won’t be left.
“Thank you, but I have to go,” I say, quickly starting the car. I hear Janice calling to me as I pull away, but I ignore her. I have to get home as fast as possible. It won’t be long before Parker realizes I’m not at school and comes by the apartment. I have to be out of there by then.
I will not be like my mother. I will not let another man betray me and break me.
I’m going to leave Parker before he can leave me.