Chapter 5 #3
“You haven’t touched me all week. Takes a lot of hard work to steal those panties you see in the library.” I duck under his left arm and he lets me go, turning to follow me to the bed. I sit down and he does the same. We look at each other and it’s a little weird.
In the back of my mind, I understand that someday, life might be a little less crazy than this. I might spend time with Widow or Bohnes or Alexei (or Ash?) in ways that don’t involve murder, adrenaline, or sex. It’d be like this maybe.
Widow isn’t talking. But he is wearing a tight t-shirt with holey jeans.
Not the most comfortable outfit, especially if he’s going to stay the night.
It’s been Bohnes and him, back and forth, every day this week.
Mostly, they stay hidden when my family’s not around, but we have been sleeping in the same bed.
Bohnes fucks me every night that’s he here (except when Nisha and Basti are around). Widow does not.
With a sigh, I stand up and he watches me with his sexy wolf eyes while I find him something to wear.
An oversized Prescott high gym tee that used to belong to Bastian.
A pair of sweats that I won at the track.
Dude sweats. Alexei would approve: they came from uptown, stolen from one of the fancy department stores in the ‘tree neighborhoods’.
“Here.” I shake the items at Widow and he complies by taking them, face stoic and expressionless. He has that same look on that he wears when he’s playing guitar on the roof of his Stingray, like he’s chosen to ignore the world instead of confront it.
He reaches over his shoulder to grab a handful of his shirt, peeling it off and tossing it onto my dresser. He doesn’t bother to replace it with the shirt I gave him. Instead, he stands up and unbuckles his belt.
“You’re doing this on purpose,” I tell him and he shrugs, kicking his boots off and then pushing his jeans to the floor. I catch a glimpse of his cock and he isn’t hard. Not at all. Widow drags the sweatpants on and then stands there in my bedroom, shirtless and staring me down.
I swallow my feelings.
“Is this a trauma thing?” I ask him, wondering if Alexis really got him good last weekend. Shit, she almost got us permanently. We almost died. Together.
Widow sighs and runs both hands over his beautiful hair.
I’ve never seen him like this before. Never.
Harsh white winter sunlight cuts through the old window and lands on that face.
As Basti said, a face made for going viral.
And a body made for porn. Ugh. It’s not just that though.
It’s the seriousness of his expression, the look of a man that’s decades older than his physical age.
Who’s seen stuff. Who’s been through horrors most people will never have to contemplate.
His hair is a galaxy swirl of turquoise, purple, and black.
The sun catches on those jewel tones and glows.
It hits his mouth and emphasizes the severity of his frown.
It highlights all the scars and cuts and bruises on his body, a column of muscle earned on the streets and under cars instead of in the gym.
It makes him look painfully, irreversibly, impossibly human.
He sits down beside me, a little close. The bed moves under us, a shitty old mattress that my grandma gifted me when she bought a new one. It’s seen things, this mattress. Decades of family history.
“Yeah, a little,” he admits, and he’s not the cocky baseball-bat wielding psycho who stole my parking space and spurted all over me in the library.
He’s just…a guy. A dude that I’m into. I absently twirl his metal ring around on my finger, bumping the rough metal against Ash’s diamond.
“I didn’t know if I’d be able to do this, Scarlett.
Act right with you. I thought he ruined me. ”
He scowls at the mention of his uncle, and he looks a little less human all of a sudden. I like that, too. Both sides of the moon.
“Nah, Adrian. Not you. People like me and you, we can bounce back from anything.” I don’t know why I say that. It’s hokey as fuck. I try to bite my thumbnail again and Widow touches his fingers to my wrist. Doesn’t even grab it this time. It’s gentle.
“Stop. Just…” He lets go of me, and I think we’re done. He’s been doing that all week, pulling back. Putting space between us. “This Ash-pen thing, it’s making me nervous. He makes me nervous.”
I smile tightly at that.
“He needs help. I’m not saying it’s not ridiculous on my behalf for wanting to save him.
But that’s how it is for me. Nothing you or Marie or Bohnes can do about it.
” I put my palms on my thighs, trying to process the other things that Widow just said to me.
He kissed me and had a strange thought when we were standing by the lakeside.
“But I see. That’s why we can’t have sex.
You won’t fuck me until Ash-pen is gone.
” I chuckle at that, putting my hand up to my mouth.
Widow narrows his eyes. We almost had a sweet moment there, but then, that’s not our thing, is it?
“Guess you won’t be fucking me because he’s not going anywhere.
Same exact thing I would say to him if he told me I was mistaken for putting my faith in you.
” I turn to look at Widow and I’m not smiling anymore.
“You started out as fuckboys. I’ve been generous, but demotions are always a possibility. ”
Widow smirks at me, like he’s hot shit. He is, but he still owes Bohnes a huge favor.
“You think me, Bohnes, and Alexei are wrong?” Widow rubs his thumb over his lip, looking at the floor and then flicking his gaze up to me.
His eyes flash in challenge. I annoy him, but he likes it this way.
The feeling is mutual. “All three of us? And I am the cocky bitch here? Get over yourself, Force.”
I nod, grinning at him. It’s not a nice look. I am dead serious.
“I’m standing up for Ash-pen because he’s doing everything he’s doing for me. To help me.” I use both hands to push my hair back. And then I bare my teeth. “You fuckboys are so stubborn. And so annoying. Things were easier when I didn’t have any dicks in my crew.”
“Bastian—” he starts, and I hold up a single finger in warning.
“I think he has a crush on me,” Widow adds, almost as an afterthought.
I nod at that, too. Yep. There’s a reason Basti voted for Widow as my one and only.
He’s a shallow bitch like that. “And if your best friend likes me, that means I’m in a good spot. ”
“He likes Bohnes, too.” I pause, and then I wonder if Widow’s going to ask me the most obvious question.
Do my friends like Ash? No. No, they don’t.
Is it possible that I don’t know everything and that I need to…
take…another…person’s…advice—I gag. Nah.
Not a chance in fucking hell. I quirk a brow.
“But you know what? It doesn’t matter what anyone else says or thinks.
I’m the boss. At the end of the day, Basti and Nisha understand that.
” I reach out and take Widow’s chin in my fingers.
This time, he’s the one who sneers and shows a little teeth.
“You will understand that, too. Come time.”
“You sure Bohnes isn’t the one in charge?
” Widow teases, hitting me where it hurts.
If Bohnes wasn’t so dead set on being the boss, I might’ve— Anyway, I know it’s not Bohnes.
It’s me. I will always be the craziest. I will always be the most psycho amongst these fuckboys.
“From where I’m sitting, you look a little dick-whipped by your own Nightmare. ”
“Get out of my room.” I flick Widow in the crotch of his sweatpants, and he grabs my wrist. Hard this time. We stare at each other, and he smirks at me again.
“Make me.” He releases me abruptly and falls back on my bed, crossing his arms behind his head and closing his eyes. “Go ahead. Do it. Drag me out.”
I stand up and turn to face him, hands on my hips.
“I let you sleep in my bed a handful of times and you start pissing on it?” I nod with my chin in the direction of the door. “There’s a severed dick in your glove box.”
“I know that,” Widow mumbles, eyes still closed. “I’ll deal with it next time I see Chet Junior.”
“Oh yeah?” I ask, tilting my head at him. “How’s that?”
“I figure it’ll be all shriveled up by then. I want to regift it to him.” Widow opens his eyes to look at me. “And then I’ll kill him for you. What did Bohnes and Alexei need him alive for so badly? They tell you yet? Because they haven’t told me.”
“They’ll tell me,” I murmur, rubbing my chin. If they haven’t told Widow either, it must be for a reason. A chill scrambles up my spine, something dark and unsettling. What did they do? Bohnes is Alexei’s employer and all. I get it. But I should’ve been told. They better get around to it soon.
They must think I’m fragile. I’ll have to dispel that myth as soon as possible.
“You trust them too much.” Widow scoots himself up properly into the bed, lying in my pillows. My pillows. He looks good there, comfortable. He rarely looks comfortable. Calm. Peaceful. But not comfortable.
“And you? Do I trust you enough?” I crawl up on the bed and lie beside him.
He wraps an arm around my waist and pulls me in toward him.
It’s weird for both of us, I think. Kind of…
affectionate? Gross. I put my hands on his chest. “What thought did you have, right after we climbed out of the car by the lake?”
“When I kissed you?” he asks, and there’s a smile there.
A shit-eating smile, but a smile nonetheless.
He knows exactly what I’m talking about.
“I thought, fuck, I’m in love with her. I get why the world is obsessed with love and romance.
That’s it.” He takes my chin the way I took his, and I hate it just as much as he did. “I love you, Scarlett.”