26. Intrusive thoughts for the win
INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS FOR THE WIN
Ro
We’re up and moving before too long—once Lor finally realizes it’s the next day and we have a lot to talk about. Personally, I’m not in any hurry for her to put clothes on, but she seems to think it’s important, so I go along with her ridiculous notions.
For now.
There is one specific thought that won’t stop circling my brain, though. One worry that won’t let go. Ever since she dragged me out to the forest yesterday as soon as I was released and collected more stardust.
“What will you do with the stardust if you’re not going to sell it?” I ask, curiosity and wariness warring in my brain.
Lor freezes with one leg halfway into her pants, and my guard instantly goes up. She glances at me, then finishes dressing. Her movements are unhurried, intentional in their slowness.
She’s hiding something.
Alarm shoots through me and I sit up, swinging my legs over the side of the bed. “You’re not going back to him, right?”
Her head whips toward me, a look of outrage twisting her features.
“Never,” she says, vehement.
I blink as my brain tries to figure out what’s going on.
“Okay, then what? Is there someone else you’re going to sell to?”
I secretly hope not, but if that’s her plan I’ll support her and do my best to keep her safe.
Lor grimaces, then her shoulders slump with a sigh as she turns to face me fully. “I traded it.”
My brows shoot up, but she averts her eyes from mine.
“I went to Finn, I didn’t know who else to ask, and he set me up with a hacker…” she trails off, giving me a look of expectation.
A hacker.
She traded stardust to a hacker in exchange for… me. Shock has me jolting my head back from her, but the rest of my body is reacting the opposite in a confusing turn of events. My feet step forward as my arms reach out, wanting to scoop her up and twirl her around.
She’s frozen in front of me, eyes wary as her gaze flits across my face. But really, why shouldn’t I scoop her up? She broke the law for me, again.
I grin, delighted to witness my angry little star-chaser turning into a law-breaking goddess. With that, I stride forward and follow that intrusive thought. The one that says she’s mine, she belongs to me, she should be in my arms at all times.
I sweep her off her feet with a playful growl and throw her over my shoulder.
“Ro!” she shrieks, her voice a mix of bewildered shock and amusement.
Naturally, I slap her ass, then swing her back down into my arms as she lets out another amused huff, which she tries to turn into an angry scoff. Unsuccessfully.
“You’re becoming a right little devil, aren’t you? My cute little criminal,” I say, so pleased I can’t possibly contain it. “I told you we were perfect for each other.”
Lor flicks her gorgeous grey eyes up in a tiny eye roll as one side of her mouth twitches into a crooked smile.
“Admit that I’m right,” I say, narrowing my eyes on her.
When she sticks her nose in the air and pinches her lips firmly shut, I adjust my hold on her, then tense my fingers along her ribs.
Her eyes widen.
I cock one eyebrow, tickle threat activated.
Her body tenses as her lips part, ready to protest, but it’s too late.
I tighten my hold, and my fingertips dance along her sides as she shrieks with tortured giggles.
She swats at me, her hands flying as she twists in a heroic attempt to get away—unsuccessful again—unfortunately for her.
I love her laughter, and I love that she doesn’t tell me to stop.
She wants my hands on her just as much as I do.
I pause my tickling, and she pants to catch her breath while I eye her expectantly. She scrunches her face up, and I tighten my fingers against her ribs again, ready for round two if she doesn’t concede. We stare at each other, and I’m about to tackle her back into the bed when she gives in.
“Fine!” she says. “Stop! Stop, you’re right.”
“About what?” I demand. I’m not falling for any tricks. I want her to admit what I’ve known all along.
She sucks in a breath as her eyes grow serious, and I loosen my demanding hold, my touch turning worshipful instead of teasing.
Lor pushes into me, molding her body to mine as she tips her head back.
My breath catches at her willing vulnerability when she places one hand on my bare chest, right over my racing heart.
“We’re perfect for each other,” she whispers.
Her eyes are intent on mine, a flicker of uncertainty in their depths.
I hold her gaze, keeping it strong and steady as I nod once, then crash my lips to hers, sealing the words between us.
I yank our bodies together as our lips blaze with heat, keeping her tight against me for a long moment before pulling back and letting her see that I’m right there with her, only I don’t have any doubts.
“Damn right we are,” I say.
Her insecurity dissipates in the light of my confidence in us, and a small smile touches her lips. I grin in return and spin her around, snagging my pants off the floor.
Then I march us out to the kitchen for some much needed sustenance.
“You came through,” the hacker says a few days later, surprise lighting their voice as they peer into the cloth sack Lor sets on the table in front of them. “Successful on all accounts, it would seem.”
Their warm brown eyes flick to me as they cinch the sack closed, and then they focus on Lor again. They tilt their head, eyeing her up and down where she stands across the table from them.
“You’re different than I thought,” they say.
Lor glares at them, her entire body tense and ready to lash out, but they don’t seem perturbed by her outward hostility. If anything, they relax even more as they rise with languid grace and step back from the table.
“I’ll take care of them,” they say with a solemn nod.
It takes me a moment to work out what they’re saying as they lift the sack, give Lor a respectful nod, then turn and stride out the back door of Tempo.
Lor stares after the hacker, the door closing behind them and bringing what feels like a finalizing silence down between us.
“Well, that was…” I say, unsure what to make of it. “Something?”
Confusion flickers in Lor’s eyes as she flexes her hands in what I’m assuming is an attempt to let them leave with the stardust. Or perhaps to let them leave with her secret.
I can’t believe she did that for me. My heart leaps in my chest when I think about the risks she took, and I vow to never again put her in that position.
She sucks in a breath, holds it for long moments, then exhales in a gust as her shoulders slump and she turns to me.
“Yeah,” she says. “That was weird.”
Finn pokes his head in the door to the back room before I have a chance to ask if she’s okay.
“Hey, you guys good? I gotta open soon.”
Obviously, I’ve been replaced after not showing up for weeks, but I don’t mind. Working this job isn’t conducive to the future I have planned for us, anyway.
“Yeah, we’re good.”
A few minutes later, I’m munching on fries and my eyes are fixated on Lor’s lips. They’re forming a perfect O around a paper straw as she sips on a fountain drink, and I can’t help but remember when her lips sucked on my dick like that.
Lor snaps her fingers in front of my face and I startle. She glares at me and points at her eyes, but then hollows her cheeks as she drinks.
Torturous little star-chaser.
“Lor,” I growl in warning. “Keep it up and see what happens.”
One side of her mouth tilts up, but she releases the straw and I blink, finally able to inhale.
The breath in my lungs freezes though, when she slowly licks her tongue across her top lip.
I clench my jaw and my gaze darts to hers.
I wouldn’t be surprised if my eyes were glowing again; I want her desperately.
Confidence suits her.
She full on smirks this time, and my belly swoops out from under me. She’s so stunning it hurts; the best kind of painful.
I snatch her drink and suck it down to the dregs just to avoid any further torture at her hands—or lips. Whatever.
Lor laughs and I grin, then we get down to business.
We decide to move clear across the country, getting nearly as far from the midwest as we can.
Truthfully, I’m willing to go anywhere, but Lor’s star-chaser gifts are what dictate our next moves.
She feels a strong inclination to go west, wanting to try an area with less frequent impact sites.
I’m more than happy to get as far away as possible from Chicago’s underground.
Neither of us have heard or seen anything to indicate her former blackmailer is planning any sort of retaliation, but that doesn’t mean he isn’t.
I suspect he’s biding his time, letting things settle down before making a move.
All the more reason to disappear.
So we spend the next couple weeks packing up Lor’s meager belongings and selling most of my eclectic collection, then set off for Oregon with Kahlo in a brand new cat backpack.
It’s a blissful few days of riding through fields and then mountains with only what we can carry on our bikes.
We often drive late into the night, which suits me just fine as it gives one of my surprises time to heal.
Lor has a sense of freedom about her, a loosening of her limbs and softening of her face that allow her to truly shine.
She’s been hiding, protecting herself, and I never want her to feel like she has to live that way again.
We periodically veer off-track when Lor has a pull to follow the stars, and her bags are quickly filling with extra sacks of stardust. I don’t know what she’s going to do with all of it, but she seems content to have it with her for now.
I offer to carry some to help distribute the added weight, but she gives me her previously packed bags instead.
If she keeps it up, soon all she’ll have is stardust, and I’ll be in charge of the rest of her belongings.
I wonder if that means I get to decide what she wears?
A devious smirk crosses my face as we pull into a motel parking lot on the outskirts of a small town in northeastern Oregon, only a few hours from our destination.
Kahlo yells their displeasure at being confined for so long, and I cringe.
Poor cat did not sign up for this, although they’ve been doing surprisingly well.
“Just one more day,” I say, reaching a hand into the backpack to rub their soft cheek.
I’m itching to tell Lor about the surprise I’ve been working on. Ever since she expressed a desire to go west, I’ve been hunting for the perfect place for us, but I want to see her face when she realizes for the first time what it means.
So I bite my cheek as I stride into the dingy lobby, and drop some cash for a room. It’s not the best, or cleanest, but they allow pets, so it’ll do for our last night on the road. I let Kahlo out, and set down a tin of wet food as Lor situates her many bags.
I don’t know if she intends for her impromptu strip show as she drops her clothes on the way to the bathroom to be an invitation, but I’m certainly taking it that way. Little does she know, I’ll be holding the rest of her clothes hostage.
“You ready to be done moving?” I ask Lor as I follow her lead, leaving a trail of clothing on the floor, and then dropping my rings next to the sink with a series of plinks.
She shrugs in answer to my question as she sticks her hand around the curtain to test the water.
“I don’t know if I’ll ever be done moving,” Lor says. Her eyes hold a depth of sadness I wasn’t prepared for. It guts me, but I refuse to let her history dictate her future. I’ll hold onto hope for both of us.
“Then we’ll move,” I say. “Whenever you want, wherever you want.”
I step into the shower, not caring how hot or cold it is, and tug her in with me. She hisses at the chill, sending me a scathing glare while melting into the heat I push through my skin.
I swing one arm around her waist and palm her ass, then twine my other hand into her hair as she arches into me. I don’t care that we should probably be wearing flip flops, or that the towels will undoubtedly be scratchy.
Having Lor in my arms, languid and trusting, is all I want or need.
Then she freezes, and her eyes latch onto the new tattoo above my heart. The one I got right before we left, that I haven’t let her see yet. It’s still healing, but doesn’t look too bad.
Lor’s eyes flick up to mine for a split-second before returning to my chest. She reaches up with one finger, but doesn’t touch, tracing the air a scant inch above my skin as she follows the thin lines of the tattoo.
It’s all black and grey with intricate line work, and her lips part as she takes it in.
A shooting star with a fiery tail, exploding right over my heart.
“Ro,” she whispers, still staring at it. “Is this…”
I tilt her chin up, and she tears her eyes away from the tattoo to meet mine.
“Yes, Starfire,” I say, dipping down to brush my lips against hers. “It’s for you. My star-chaser. My heart. My everything.”
Her beautiful grey eyes turn glassy as they dart between mine, and her lower lip starts to tremble before she sucks it into her mouth and bites down on it. I smile, a gentle, understanding one, knowing this is a lot for her. I can’t hold the words back any longer, though.
“I love you so much, Lor,” I murmur.
I know she’s not ready to say it back, even though I also know she feels the same.
So I thread my fingers through her hair, and tip her head back into the water now that it’s warmed up.
Her silver locks darken, a metallic sheen bending the light as water sluices down her hair and along the gentle curves of her body.
She closes her eyes, and I take in the strength and beauty of the creature before me.
It’ll take time for her to stop avoiding her pain, but for now I’m happy to give her a distraction.
I unwrap the stick-thin bar of soap and lather my hands, then I caress them over Lor’s soft skin.
Over the swallow tattoos behind her ear and down her neck, her strong arms, the curve of her waist and hips.
It feels like worship as I lower to my knees to wash her legs and feet.
When I glance up, Lor is staring down at me. Emotions flicker through her eyes, one after the other. It’s like a slideshow of confusion and lust, doubt and hope. My lips tip up in a tender smile, and my eyes catch on a stream of bubbles as they flow down her body.