Chapter 12 Crystal Clear #2
“You think I didn’t notice you kicking your legs in the water? That didn’t look like floating to me, which is the only thing I agreed to allow you to do. Yet, here you are, disobeying me anyway. Again.” His tone was stern, thick with disapproval, making my stomach clench in anticipation.
But I met his glare head-on. “I’m just being proactive,” I argued. “I didn’t strain myself in any way with those tiny little movements.”
He shook his head. “I know you’re eager to walk again, princess, but you need to follow instructions if you want to get there effectively. That includes resting, whether you want to or not. I was assured you understood that.”
I groaned at him. “Ya know, you were always so eager to push my body beyond its limits before, and now, suddenly you’re completely reversing course.”
“You weren’t injured then,” he countered.
“My bones have healed.”
“But your muscles and tendons are still in recovery.”
“And stressing them is the only way to improve their function.”
“Under medical supervision,” he emphasized.
“I’m fine,” I reiterated. “If I want to push myself, then I should be allowed to do that. Aren’t you tired of seeing me like this?”
Darren shook his head as his eyes darkened. “This isn’t up for debate, Jaden. Keep pushing it and I swear to God you won’t be leaving that bed for another month.”
I didn’t know why I opened my stupid mouth, but I just couldn’t help confirming those nagging suspicions. It was the only way to know what he really wanted of me.
“And you’d just love that, wouldn’t you!
” I pressed on. “Keep me dependent on you for every little thing so you can feel needed and important again. Don’t think I haven’t noticed how obnoxiously attentive you’ve been in the last couple of weeks.
You’ve been eating this up like some kind of starved glutton.
” And then I scoffed at the memory of his out-of-pocket praise.
“All that admiration for my “unrivaled endurance” feels like a damn joke now when all you’ve been doing this whole time is prolonging my dependence on you.
Admit it, Darren, you hate that I don’t need you. ”
Even though my voice didn’t shake, the look he was currently giving me could have rivaled an earthquake with the way it left me secretly trembling inside. If I thought I was dealing with a predator before, I was definitely dealing with one now. And he was pissed.
Darren moved steadily through the water until I was backed into the pool wall, his eyes pinning mine with the promise of a painful reckoning. Sometimes obtaining the truth required a sacrifice, and when it came to Darren, I always had to pay with my body.
I clutched the floating inner-tube to my chest like it stood even a millisecond of a chance in walling me from him. When he stopped in front of me, he slowly stood from the water, the depth coming to just below his shoulders, telling me we were at the five-foot marker.
Without the inner-tube, the water would be over my mouth and nose, and I’d have to figure out how to swim without working legs. And Darren capitalized on that.
Grabbing the tube, he ripped it from my hands, tossing it over his shoulder and well out of reach.
“What the hell!” Panicking, I immediately grabbed the wall of the pool to keep myself from sinking under, but Darren grabbed my wrists and yanked me away from it.
“What are you doing?” I nearly shrieked as he stopped at the ledge at the floor of the pool where it dropped to thirteen feet, essentially dangling me over the edge as he kept my shoulders up above the surface.
“So you think you don’t need me, huh?” he growled as he tightened his grip, the darkness in his eyes making me regret every word I said. “Let’s see if there’s any truth to that.” And then he extended his arms and let go.
I felt myself start to sink almost instantly, internal panic seemingly weighing me down faster.
I clumsily forced my arms and legs to move to keep myself afloat, but the awkwardness of my legs made it difficult to maintain the coordination needed to stay upright.
My body started to tilt as the exhaustion I was already battling mixed with dread became overwhelming, and soon, my nose was underwater.
My arms flailed as sharp muscle cramps ate away at my abdomen and calves, my determination to resurface thwarted by weak, heavy, and uncoordinated limbs.
A single panicked kick sent a shock wave of pain straight to my hip, causing me to shrink in on myself as I sank deeper and deeper.
Even as I tried to get my legs to work, they just wouldn’t cooperate with my hips feeling so tight and my body nearly depleted of energy.
Before I passed the ledge at the bottom of the pool, I felt Darren grip both of my wrists and wrench me up toward the surface. I sucked in a huge breath of air as my wet hair coated my face.
“Still think you don’t need me?” he asked again, his voice laced with venom.
“Stop—” That was the only word I managed before he released me again and sent me plunging back underwater.
Keeping my knees tucked so I wouldn’t accidentally kick again, I stretched my arms above my head to swim back to the surface, but I was so damn tired that my body felt utterly useless.
Fear gripped my heart as I wondered if Darren was really going to let me drown just to prove a stupid point. But I didn’t have to wonder long as he reached down and gripped my wrists again, yanking me above the surface.
“Yes, I need you!” I shouted as water sloshed down my face, giving him the answer he clearly wanted.
My chest heaved as I sucked in gulps of air, my eyes blurry from the chlorine as I cringed in his hold.
“Let me make something absolutely crystal clear for you, my fierce little queen,” he began, his voice dark and lethal.
“You will always need me. Everything that you have, everything that you are is because of me and me alone. I gave it to you. Without me, you’d have nothing.
You’d be nothing.” He gripped me even tighter, certain to leave bruises behind, and jerked me closer.
“I’m the only one who will provide you with everything you need to breathe, to live, to fight, and you thrive because of it.
But I can just as easily take it away. So the next time you want to try to convince yourself that you don’t need me, I want you to take a look around and remind yourself the only reason you’re even seeing daylight right now is because of me. ”
I gaped at him, my shoulders hunching as I struggled to find the words to respond. He was putting my vulnerability on display for both of us as if I needed the reminder. And God, I fucking hated him for it.
“Is that clear, or do you need more clarification? Maybe another example?” he snarled.
“C-clear,” I practically sputtered.
“Smart girl.”
Darren then pulled me to his chest, and I wrapped my arms around his neck and shoulders, clutching him tightly with the desperation he clearly wanted me to embrace.
Resting the side of my face on his shoulder, I held him and focused on calming down now that I knew his lesson for me was over.
His hands reached down to pull my legs around his torso while his other arm snaked across my back, keeping me pressed against him.
He then turned around and started walking us out of the pool.
I felt fucking pathetic, but then again, that was the point he was trying to make. He wanted me to understand how much I needed him to get me through this because he was the only one with the power to allow for it in the first place.
He wanted me to realize I needed him to let me recover. Because it would not happen unless I had his express permission. Like he’d said before, he could keep me chained to the bed for the rest of my life if he wanted to.
I also needed to remember that Darren always got what he wanted without fail. And while I was never afforded the same, he was right about one thing—he eventually fulfilled my needs, whether he intended to or not.
As much as it cost me, my needs of the day were met. Because now I had my answer.
And it terrified me.