Chapter One #2
Yes, I wanted her to teach me to be confident, to show me how to step into a room and take up space. But I also wanted to show her that I was more than the guy she’d immediately friend-zoned, that I could go toe-to-toe with her, that I could make her feel good.
I wanted her.
And maybe part of this hare-brained scheme was to show her that I deserved a shot at more than just friends.
But I couldn’t admit all that just yet. Maybe one day she’d see me as more than an annoying fly buzzing around her, but for now, I just needed her to see enough to give me this.
“Okay,” she conceded after a moment. “I can understand why you might want an arrangement like this. But… why me?”
I sucked my teeth. “Really, Liv? Come on. Look at you.” I waved my hand like it was a magic wand covering her in golden fairy dust. “You’re gorgeous, smart, savvy, driven as hell.
I know you don’t need to hear me say it to know I’ve had it bad for you for years.
Besides, don’t act like this doesn’t intrigue you.
” I leaned forward, elbows on my knees. “I’ve heard your stories.
I know you like to exercise control in more places than just this office, and you’d have full control in this situation. ”
“Don’t act like you know me,” she shot back immediately, but again, I saw the sparkle in her eyes, the curl of her lips she was fighting. “Also, that little bit about you having it bad for me makes me want to say no. Feelings like that make arrangements like this messy.”
Holy shit.
Is she actually considering this?
I tried to tamp down the quickening of my heart, keeping my face level as I shrugged.
“I said I like you, not that I’m delusional.
I know you’re not into me.” That admission made my gut sour, but I ignored it and pressed on.
“That doesn’t change the fact that I know you’re the perfect person to help me.
And I think we’re good enough friends that I can ask that of you. ”
She softened again at that, making it hard for me not to float away on that pesky cloud of hope.
“What’s in it for me?” she asked after a moment.
“Besides the fact that you get to boss me around and make me do whatever you want in the bedroom?”
She flattened her lips, arched a brow, and waited.
Okay… so clearly that isn’t enough.
“What do you want?”
“A million dollars.”
I laughed heartily, but then coughed and choked a little when I realized she was serious.
“You’re kidding,” I tried.
“Not even a little bit.”
I blinked at her.
I wasn’t sure what I’d been expecting her to ask for in return, but it wasn’t that.
Livia seemed perfectly fine on her own financially.
She co-owned a boutique dental practice that serviced high-profile clients and offered cosmetic procedures.
I was fairly certain I’d never seen the woman wear anything that wasn’t designer, save for her white coat, and she drove a Jaguar F-Type Coupe that made our car-crazy friend, Jaxson, nearly lose his mind the first time she pulled up in it.
“Listen, I make good money,” she said, reading my mind and blank stare, no doubt.
“I do veneers for half the celebrities in Tampa. But at this point, all of my best friends are married to, or seriously dating, a multi-millionaire. And then there’s Mia, who will probably hit a billion soon on her own.
And judge me if you want to, but I’m a bad bitch just like the rest of them.
I deserve to jet set around the world, dress myself in diamonds, and buy myself a bougie ass car on a man’s dime just because. ”
“Done.”
The word was out of me even before her little speech finished. I thought I saw something vulnerable beneath her statement, something she was hiding, but I knew better than to press. I wasn’t telling her the whole truth right now — why should I expect different?
It seemed we both had things we were running from, things we were fighting, things we were working through. If I could help her in some way, it would make the whole deal feel even.
And the truth was she didn’t need to convince me, even if there wasn’t another reason underneath the one she’d provided. I already agreed with her. She did deserve to be spoiled.
If she’d let me, I’d happily give her the passwords to all my accounts and watch her drain every single one.
Besides, I just signed a new contract with the team over the summer, one that guaranteed me more money in the coming seasons.
I was no longer on a two-way contract, which was a vote of confidence that the team didn’t expect to send me down to their AHL affiliate — like they’d done for the first three years.
No, now I was firmly in a one-way contract. I was a Tampa Bay Osprey — for good.
I was also who they’d bet on to take the place of our veteran center who’d retired. I was the player they felt was up to the task.
No pressure, the weak little teenage boy inside me murmured.
That fucker always lived with me, though I’d learned through therapy how to snuff him out most of the time.
Even with my fuck ups — and there were plenty — I was still playing at my best this season, proving to Coach and our general manager and everyone else on the team that they hadn’t made a mistake by signing me.
But I still wondered sometimes.
I still worried I’d hit a wall and would bounce back to reality, to the place where I couldn’t quite hang.
For now, though, I had the contract — and the money to go with it. I also still had a signing bonus from when I was younger that had done nothing but sit in a high-yield money market accruing interest.
What the hell was I going to spend that money on that would be better than bedroom lessons from Livia fucking Young?
Liv tilted her head like she didn’t believe me, or like she didn’t think I realized she was dead serious.
“You’ll give me a million dollars,” she said, deadpan.
“I’ll give you two.”
Her eyes shot wide at that. “Two-million dollars, and all I have to do is help you unleash your freak?”
“See?” I waved my hand toward the space between us. “Tell me this isn’t a deal you can’t refuse.”
She should have laughed in my face. I should have been embarrassed by what I was asking, by how quickly I doubled her offer. But the yearning in my chest for what and who I could become if she actually agreed completely outweighed the shame I carried for asking in the first place.
I wanted to be the man who knew what he was doing. I wanted to be the man who didn’t flinch when the pressure was on. I wanted to settle down, to find someone to share my life with, someone to go home to.
Maybe if I could pull this off — if she said yes — I could stop feeling like I was one mistake away from blowing it all.
She tapped her chin with one long, dark red nail, and I wondered what it would feel like to have those nails digging into the flesh on my back.
I longed to know first-hand what it felt like to be under her spell.
This wasn’t the kind of woman who flirted and made you court her before she let you take her home after three dates and lay her down missionary-style in a dark room.
This was the kind of woman who had you on your knees before the first date, hands bound, a ball gag in your throat as she assessed if you were even worth the time she’d have to give you to let you take her to dinner.
I didn’t know why, but that thought had me salivating.
I was sure my therapist would have something to say on the subject.
“No one else knows,” Livia said.
That hope that had ballooned inside of me surged so quickly I thought my chest would pop, and I was practically panting as I leaned forward in my seat, nodding. “I won’t tell a soul.”
Is she actually agreeing to this?
“I’ll teach you, but I also get to use you,” she said. “Whenever and wherever I want. If I send a text, you come running.”
“Faster than I ever have in my life.”
Oh, my fucking God, she is. She’s agreeing.
“You don’t get to say no to anything until you try it at least once.”
My heart skipped with a mixture of fear and curiosity. “No backing down.”
“I mean it. No matter what I propose, you hear me out and try before saying yes or no.”
“Use me, Liv. I’m yours.”
She chuckled at that, one brow inching up like she wasn’t so sure I knew what I was signing up for. Then, she opened the door and called for her assistant to come back in.
“We’re drawing up a contract, too,” she said, waving her finger at me. “And you’re going to take this seriously or I’ll drop the whole thing and still take your money — which you will pay a big portion of up front, by the way.”
“Yes, Mommy.”
“Jesus,” she muttered. “You’re more eager than that puppy dog you adopted.”
“Bark, bark.” I panted, too, for good measure, tongue flopping out before Liv shot me in the eye with the water pick.
“That’s enough. Now, lie back and open your mouth.”
“Wow, we’re getting started already, huh?” I rubbed my hands together as I did what she said.
Liv ignored me, firing up the drill as soon as her assistant rejoined us, but her mouth quirked up into a grin.
I thought it kind of looked like she had a little too much fun causing me pain.
I thought I kind of liked it, too.