Chapter 8
Natasha
I stagger back at the sight of him. Shit. He’s standing with his hands linked on top of his head. His eyes are cast down, and he is leaning against the wall.
“Josh,” I whisper. “What are you doing here?” He looks at me and shakes his head, unable to answer. “Baby, answer me.”
“Stop calling me that,” he snaps.
“No, I won’t.”
He swallows and looks down again. It is then I notice I am totally naked.
I quickly grab a towel from the rail and wrap it around myself.
He still looks down and his hands are still on top of his head, as if he is trying not to touch me, trying to restrain himself.
The room is filled with steam, I am dripping wet in a towel and the man I am beyond physically attracted to is looking at the floor rather than at me. What’s wrong with this picture?
“Josh, answer me,” I repeat.
His eyes meet mine with a sadness in them that nearly breaks my heart. His hands are still linked on top of his head. “I’m not strong enough, I can’t do it,” he whispers.
“Strong enough for what?” I frown.
“To not want you.” He closes his eyes as if in pain.
“Baby,” I whisper as I wrap my arms around him. “I want you to want me.”
“No, Natasha.” He pushes me away. “I can’t do this.”
“Josh, talk to me. What’s going on?”
He shakes his head. ‘Why did you do it?” “What do you mean, Josh?”
“Why did you leave me before you even gave me a chance?”
That’s what all this anger is about? I smile.
“You find this funny?” he snaps. “I knew this was a waste of time.” He turns to walk out of the room.
“Josh, no.” I am suddenly panicked. “I didn’t do anything but save you from yourself.”
He frowns at me. “What do you mean?”
“Josh, you weren’t thinking straight. You were going to fess up to our parents.” He frowns again. “I was young, and you were my older cousin.” He shakes his head as he listens. “Josh, if my father found out he would have killed you—he would have thought that you forced me.”
He steps back, shocked at my insinuations. “It wasn’t like that,” he whispers as his face drops.
“I know, but that’s how it would have looked. I had to do it.”
His anger reignites. “You had to conveniently sleep with someone else to save me? Do you think I’m that stupid?” he yells.
I step back. “No, Josh, I lied to save you.” He frowns again. “I lied. I would never sleep with anyone else, Josh.”
He narrows his eyes at me. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
I can feel those uncontrollable, frigging tears appearing once again.
“How could you, Josh?” I choke out past the lump in my throat.
“Do what?”
“How could you think I actually slept with someone else? I was totally in love with you. It broke my fucking heart, Josh, and you believed it. Just like that you believed it.”
“It came from your mouth.” He points at me. “You are the one who said it. Let me see, it went like this. Have you slept with him? And you replied yes!” he yells.
I step back and cross my arms. “So, you don’t believe me?” I whisper.
He drops his head again, his hands still linked on top of his head. “Let’s just leave it.” He drops his hands. “This is stupid.”
“No, Josh, you’re stupid.”
His eyes ignite with rage.
“Do you really expect me to believe you didn’t sleep with him?” His eyes are questioning and hurt.
“I didn’t, I promise. I would never have done that to you. I kept waiting for you to work it out. Why didn’t you work it out, Josh?” Hot tears stream down onto my cheeks, tears of guilt. Through the lump in my throat I whisper, “Have you ever thought of me, Josh?”
He nods, the sight of the emotion in his eyes opens a wound in my chest, and a sob escapes.
“Josh, I’ve missed you, so damn much it hurts,” I whisper. He stays silent as he inhales precious air deeply into his lungs. He lifts his hand and runs it over my hair.
“Show me.” He continues stroking my hair and wraps his fingers around the back of my neck.
I look up at his lips as he lowers them to mine.
He kisses me gently, swiping his tongue through my open mouth.
A shiver runs through my body and a groan escapes me, one I can’t control.
The kiss deepens and his tongue takes over every sense I own, taking what he wants.
He brings his hands to my face and holds my cheeks as he kisses me again, deeper this time.
His tongue demanding arousal. My body happy to oblige.
A shiver runs through me as I feel a very familiar pulse start to throb between my legs.
I can’t believe it; we are alone and he knows the truth.
The last thought scatters goose bumps over my body.
“Show me,” he whispers in my ear as he bites it.
“Show me how much you have missed me.” He runs his open mouth down the length of my neck.
I pull back to look at him and his eyes have changed.
They are now dark with desire. They call to a part of me that only he knows.
Without breaking eye contact he grabs the bottom of his T-shirt and pulls it off over his head.
Each breath I take is deeper than the last, my heart racing out of control.
My eyes drop to his chest, holy fuck this body is ridiculous.
It takes my breath away. He is tanned and muscular and his chest has a scattering of dark hair that picks up again below his navel in a thin line that disappears into his cargo pants.
I look back up to see the anxiety etched on his face.
I run my fingertips down the length of his body until I reach the tattoo.
Ahh, that’s why he looks nervous, he doesn’t know how I will react.
I turn him and lift his arm. He lets me and raises his arm for me to see.
I follow my name with my fingertip slowly. My god, I adore this man.
“When did you get this, baby?” I whisper…silence, he doesn’t answer. “Josh, answer me and I want the truth.”
“On your twenty-first birthday—it’s your birthday present.
” He closes his eyes as if pained. I can’t help it, tears instantly overfill my eyes.
I bend and slowly kiss the tattoo. Overcome with emotion, I can’t hold the tears back as they run freely down my face.
I hold him in an embrace around the stomach as I sob against his body.
He runs his fingers through my hair. “Happy birthday, precious girl.”
I stand up and that’s it. I know it’s over.
I will do anything he wants. With dark eyes he tics his jaw and cracks his neck.
I love that. “Now stop with the blubbering and show me how much you’ve fucking missed me.
” He smiles and bites his lip as he grabs my shoulders and pushes me down onto my knees.
I drop, eager to taste him. Desperation hits as I rip his pants down.
His engorged length falls into my hands and I lick my lips as I size up the perfect manhood in front of me.
Holy mother fuck, he’s frigging huge. Has he always been this big?
He gently runs his fingers through my hair and lifts himself into my waiting mouth.
I close my eyes as I swirl my tongue around the tip and gently suck.
“Fuck,” he hisses and leans back against the wall, unable to hold his weight on his legs any longer.
His response urges me on, and I take the full length of him.
I suck harder and hold on to his hips for balance.
Slowly but surely, I build a rhythm, each stroke deeper than the last, each suck more powerful.
The contrast between the hard, powerful lurches of his hips into my mouth and the gentle stroking of his hands on my hair bring me to an involuntary groan.
I am rewarded with a gush of pre-ejaculate.
God, he tastes good. His breathing is labored and he leans his head back against the wall.
“Fuck, Tash, you suck me so good,” he breathes.
He pushes the hair from my forehead and runs his fingers down my cheeks, feeling them dip in as I suck.
His mouth drops open as he watches me, and the look in his eyes is pure predatory.
Our eyes lock and something shifts between us—memories reawaken.
An unspoken language that only we can understand.
I close my eyes to block out the intimacy.
It’s too much. Too fast. He pulls himself free of my mouth and bends to kiss me, a slow gentle tongue kiss.
“Stand,” he whispers. “I need to be inside you, precious girl.” I stand and he kisses me again as he pushes me back to the vanity and lifts me to sit on top of it.
He slowly undoes my towel from my body and stands back to look at me.
I feel self-conscious. It’s the middle of the frigging day and I’m spread-eagled in front of the most beautiful man on the planet. His eyes drop to between my legs.
“Perfect,” he whispers. I smile as I internally thank Abbie for the appointment at the Beautiful Behinds waxing salon yesterday.
I owe her…big-time. He runs his hand down the front of my neck to my breasts, which he cups with his hands, my nipples hardening under his attention.
He lets out a low groan and closes his eyes.
Seriously, this man is hot. I think the phrase God’s gift to women is definitely appropriate in this situation.
His mouth drops open again as he watches with dark eyes his fingers run down the length of my body, and he swipes them through the wet flesh between my legs.
I whimper and throw my head back to lean on the mirror.