Chapter 2 #2
The nurse re-enters and takes his vitals.
“I’m going to give you another relaxant, Joshua.
Your heart rate has gone back up, just something to make you sleep, ok?
” He takes a deep breath and nods, and she injects another drug into his drip.
I hold his hand and rub his forehead as he peacefully drifts off.
What must it feel like to be in a peaceful sleep?
I haven’t had one for so long. I keep watch on the silent and still man beside me.
On the outside I mirror his calmness; however, the inner turmoil inside my stomach has reached a whole new level.
I‘m worried.… actually, that’s an understatement.
I’m panicked. The harsh reality is that Joshua may very well be a cocaine addict.
I know that, the doctor knows that. Everybody knows that.
He has the motive.… friends and escape and he has the means.
… unlimited funds. I have done extensive study on addictions as part of my psychology degree and I know it’s a very steep hill to climb to get out of an addiction black hole.
Both for the addict and for the ones that love them.
I close my eyes. How did it get to this?
Was it really an accident or did he try to subconsciously kill himself without realizing?
What are the bruises all over him? He has a definite shoe mark on his body, and I know that they don’t wear shoes in the fight ring.
Who in the hell has he been fighting and where was Ben, his
Bodyguard, when it happened? I suppose that means nothing.
Joshua got into a fight that night at the Ivy and Ben was there then.
So, it is possible. I have caused all of this havoc in his life.
I wonder what his life was like before I came back into it.
What if he has been taking cocaine all along and I didn’t realizes it, have I been that blinded by his love? Am I that stupid?
After melting my brain with way too much thought I decide to ask both him and Cameron tomorrow separately and see how well their answers match up, and maybe even Adrian for that matter.
I have a talent to tell when someone is lying and, boy, am I going to put it to use tomorrow.
I eventually drift into an unsettled sleep after tossing and turning for hours.
Maybe I should have got some of that relaxant put into my veins; I sure could bloody well use it.
I wake to the gentle dusting of lips on my temple and I cuddle into his chest.
“I love you,” he whispers. He pulls me into an embrace and wraps his arms around me.
Mmm, I’ve missed this, missed him. I nuzzle into him and drift off as I listen to his breathe regulate.
We are both exhausted. Too tired to acknowledge that he has crawled into my fold up bed beside me, too relieved in the comfort of each other to care.
The world could stop right now, and I wouldn’t give a damn.
I’m here with him and that’s all I need.
How could I have ever thought I could deny myself this?
It’s impossible and totally unrealistic, we couldn’t be apart.
Not ever, I need him like oxygen, more than my next breath.
“Look how gorgeous they are,” I hear Adrian’s voice speak. I frown as I stretch to find Joshua wrapped around me like a blanket. He had even moved his IV so that he could lie with me in my bed. Adrian is standing with a cup of coffee and Cameron is lying on Joshua’s bed, reading the paper.
Oh crap. “How long have you been here?” I grumble as I stretch.
Cameron smiles a face-splitting smile as he flicks his paper down to look over the top of it. “Long enough to know you two are pathetic!” He widens his eyes at me to accentuate his point and goes back to his paper.
Joshua inhales a deep breath as he wakes. “This bed is bloody uncomfortable.” He groans as he kisses the side of my face from behind.
I smile and roll back to face him. “Good morning, Mr. Stanton”
He smiles and rubs his hand over my behind. “Good morning, Miss Marx,” he whispers.
Adrian rolls his eyes. “Hmm, you seem to be feeling a lot better today.” Joshua bites his bottom lip to stifle his smile. “And I’m starving. Is there any food in this joint?”
Cameron smiles and winks at Adrian; he obviously sees that as a good sign.
“Josh, why in the hell were you taking cocaine alone like that? That’s ridiculous,” Cameron asks. I lie still as I listen to their conversation.
Adrian pipes up. “You gave all that shit up years ago. Why in the hell would you do that again?” Joshua’s eyes flick to me and I know he doesn’t want to have this conversation with me in the room. Too bad, he’s having it. I’m just going to come out with it.
“Are you a cocaine addict, Joshua?”
“No. How could you think such a thing?” he stammers. “Probably because we are in hospital after you
overdosed,” I reply. “Are you going to take an overdose every time we have a fight?”
He frowns at me and sits up in a rush. “Bit more than a fight, Natasha. We broke up.”
I sigh. “Josh, you know I didn’t mean that.” Cameron and Joshua quickly glance at each other.… silently communicating. Hmm. “Why did you do it?” I ask. “Was it accidental?” He frowns, not understanding the question. “I mean did you purposely take an overdose?”
“No, of course not. I lost track of how much I had had. I just had a really shitty weekend and was trying to perk myself up a bit.”
“What happened on the weekend?” I ask.
His face drops and his eyes meet mine and he swallows a large lump in his throat. “Can you get me some breakfast, boys?”
Cameron jumps up and rubs Joshua’s shoulder. “Sure mate,” he gives him three hard slaps on the back as he and Adrian leave the room. Joshua’s eyes search mine and I smile in return.
“Alone at last,” I whisper.
He pulls me into an embrace. “I’ve missed you, Presh. Don’t leave me again, ok.”
I smile and nod as he runs his lips down the length of my neck.
“Promise me,” I smile again. “Natasha, promise me,” he repeats.
I shake my head. “Josh, you know I only left you because of my dad and all of that mess. I will never leave you again.” I smile as I kiss his neck and he holds me tight.
I run my hands around the back of his nightgown and feel his behind.… he feels good.
He kisses me as he brushes the hair from my face. “Tash.… we need to talk.”
My head drops. “I know, Josh. I need to talk to you too.” I sigh softly.
“Well, you look much better today.” We jump back from each other as the doctor enters the room. Shit, I had my hand on his butt, how embarrassing. Joshua gives the doctor a nod in embarrassment and shakes his hand.
“Thank you, doctor.”
The doctor reads his chart and gets his flashlight as he looks into Joshua’s eyes. “You are lucky to be alive, young man. You nearly died.”
Joshua’s eyes find mine and he drops his head. “I know.… I was very frightened.” My eyes spring up to his. He’s right, that would have been frightening. “You have a lot of people waiting to see you outside. After you shower and eat, I will let them in.”
Joshua nods. “When can I go home?”
The doctor narrows his eyes. “Not until you have completed five drug counselling sessions with our rehab team. It will be at least another three to four days before I sign you out.”
Joshua frowns. “I don’t need counselling.”
The doctor looks up from his notes. “I am happy to check you into a three-month rehab program if you refuse.… your choice.”
Joshua glares at the doctor.
“Three days is fine. Thanks, doctor,” I interrupt. I widen my eyes at Joshua to signify his silence, and he reluctantly nods and heads over to sit on the bed.
“I will be back to check on you each morning around eight. If you need anything just let me know. I think they are moving you upstairs for more privacy. It seems the press has gotten a hold of your overdose and you are making headlines around the world.” The doctor sighs and Joshua’s head droops.
“Upstairs you will be in a private wing so your bodyguards and helpers will have more room. They are making this place a mess,” he smiles. “How many do you have?”
Joshua looks embarrassed. “A couple,” he whispers. “Natasha, is Max here?”
I smile and nod. “One of them is mine, doctor,” I reply. He nods and heads out of the room.
My eyes widen. “Oh shit. I forgot about Max. I have left him out there all night.”
Joshua frowns. “And?” he murmurs.
I frown. “I don’t do that. Max has been staying with me and Mum since you left.”
He frowns as he stands. “What.… in the house with you?” I smile and nod.
“I’m paying him to protect you, not play happy families,” he snaps.
I smile. Why is a jealous Joshua Stanton so simply delicious?
“He has been protecting me and helping my family. These last two months have been horrific for me, Josh and he has kept Brock away from me.”
“Has Brock been giving you a hard time?”
“No, just making sure everyone knows that he hates you. It isn’t as unbearable when Max is with me because he tells him to shut his mouth.”
Joshua smirks. “Shut his mouth, hey.” I smile and nod. “He might have his mouth wired shut soon if he keeps going,” he adds.
I pull him to me. “No, because you love me you are going to let this thing with Brock go. For me and for Mum.”
He bends to kiss me. “I really want to kick his ass.”
I smile as he nuzzles my neck. “Take it out on my ass instead.”
“Hmm,” he whispers darkly. “Your ass is going to cop it very soon as well.” He nips my neck and I yelp.
“Promises, promises, Stanton,” I giggle. God, I love this man. The nurse re-enters. Hmm, this one is young and pretty and I feel a sudden pang of jealousy, especially since I have just felt that he is in full rut under that gown.
“Do you need help to shower?” she asks him.
His eyes dance with delight as he looks at me mischievously. “Maybe,” he replies.
I look at him deadpan. “I’ve got it,” I snap.
He gives me a broad beautiful smile and winks at me.
Bastard.