Chapter 4
Natasha
At five thirty I return to Joshua’s room to find it empty. His belongings, my fold up bed, everything.… gone.
Max and I are puzzled until a nurse approaches us. “Are you Natasha Stanton?” she asks.
I smile proudly. “Yes”
“Your husband has been moved upstairs to the private wing and asked me to let you know where he is.”
“Oh okay, thank you,” I reply.
“Take the lift up to level seven and then you will see a large set of grey doors with a security code on your right. Push the buzzer and you will be buzzed in,” she answers.
I smile again. “Ok thanks.” We ride the lift in silence.
My mind is heavily weighed down by Margaret’s story.
I can’t believe I actually feel sorry for her.
Can you imagine what it must be like to hold a secret like that in for twenty-seven.
… actually, no, she said she found out when he was sixteen, so eleven years.
And it is such a bad secret.… my poor baby, he has no idea.
God, this is such a mess. Have I done the right thing agreeing to keep this quiet?
What if he finds out later that I knew all along and then leaves me for deceiving him? It’s entirely possible.
I’m just as bad as his mother.… but what choice do we have? It’s him we are protecting. What a fucking nightmare.
We arrive at the security doors and a janitor is cleaning the foyer near the double doors.
Max speaks first. “Natasha Stanton to see her husband.” I smile at the floor, that sounds really, really good.
The bored receptionist’s voice echoes through the speaker. “Yes, come in.” The doors open. We reach the
receptionist’s desk.
“I would like to see my husband. Which room is he in?”
“Of course, the last door on the right.” I smile at Max and we head down the corridor towards the last door on the right and it opens to a large private lounge area complete with television, cable and a kitchen.
I frown at Max. “This is random.” He smiles and nods.
There is a cleaner in there restocking the kitchen. “Hello,” I smile. She smiles. “Hello.”
I frown at her. “What are these large rooms? Where are the hospital rooms?”
“This is the private wing for celebrities who need more privacy from the press, and more room for their bodyguards and things.”
My eyes widen. “Oh,” I reply, shocked. Jeez.… this is so.… over the top Hollywood.
“Yes, most of the LA celebrities have been in here at one point or another for substance abuse issues.” My eyes drop to the floor. Yes, like my so-called husband.
“Hmm I see, where is my husband?” This gossipy bitch is starting to piss me off.
“The door to his room is around the corner next to the television.” I nod and head in that direction.
“Tash, I will just stay out here tonight, okay?” Max states.
I turn and frown at him.
“Max, that’s not necessary. Go home honey. I will be fine. Nobody can get in here. There is security. It’s safe here.”
Max narrows his eyes. “No, I will be staying. I’m good. I will watch the game on the screen.” My eyes flick to the gossipy kitchen girl who is now listening to our conversation. Buzz off, big ears.
“I will be out to see you soon,” I reply as he flops into the lounge chair. I walk into the room and my jaw drops. Bloody hell, this room looks like a luxury hotel suite. There is even a double bed. What in the world? Joshua walks out of the bath- room and throws me a swoon worthy smile.
“There’s my beautiful girl. I was starting to get worried.
I thought that maybe you and my mother may have killed each other.
I was going to send out a search party.” He bends and tenderly wipes the hair back from my face.
I smile and put my arms around his neck and inhale his wonderful scent.
I feel better just being in his vicinity…
. I need to put this paternity shit out of my head.
He kisses me gently. “So.…” he steps back to scan my face.
He wants to know what was said between his mother and me.
Guilt fills my stomach … I can do this. “We are calling a truce, for your sake, Joshua. Only because we both love you.”
His eyes light up and he smiles warmly. “Thank you.… I really appreciate you doing this for me.” He bends and kisses my neck. “I will make it up to you, Presh. It will be well worth your while.” He grabs my behind and grinds me forward onto him.
My eyes close instinctively. “That’s great, big boy, but stop.
We are in a hospital. No fun for you until we get home,” I smirk.
He sits on the chair and pulls me onto his lap.
“I’m hungry for you,” he whispers darkly. I smile. God, me
too actually. The little two pumps I got yesterday have only heightened my need for a long hard sex session.
“Patience, baby.… later.” I smile into the top of his head.
“Prick tease,” he whispers into my neck.
“Baby, I am going to tease that prick until you’re crying with want. You have no idea.” I gently run my tongue through his lips and pull back to smirk at him.
“There’s my beautiful slut. I’ve missed that filthy mouth of yours, Natasha.” His eyes darken as they drop to my lips.
Just him calling me beautiful slut awakens memories that send a throb of arousal to my center. “Well, I’ve missed that beautiful strong tongue of yours, so we are even,” I whisper.
“If you are trying to get yourself fucked you are going the right way about it.” He licks my neck.
My eyes close as I feel my legs start to open by themselves. Mmm, I need to be fucked…hard. “It’s working then,” I whisper.
He pats the bed next to him. “Come and lie with me.”
“How did your session go with the rehab guy?” I ask to try and change the subject.
He shrugs his shoulders. “Embarrassing. I felt like a junkie.” “To them you are,” I reply.
He nods and flops onto his back. “I hate that I have done this. How could I have been so stupid?”
I nod and my eyes tear up. “Josh, what if you had died…it would have killed me. I wouldn’t have been able to go on. How could you be so selfish?”
He kisses my forehead as he pulls me tightly into his arms.
“I know, Presh. I’m so sorry. I swear I didn’t mean it. I was
watching the movie of us on repeat all weekend.”
I frown in horror. “What, the porno?”
He smiles and nods. “Yeah, you look smoking hot by the
way.” He kisses my forehead again. I bring my hand up to my face in embarrassment. What must I look like?
“And then what happened?” I ask.
He blows out a breath. “I was down on myself for letting you down.”
I turn to look at him. “How have you let me down, Josh?”
He drops his eyes. “I just have Tash. I am supposed to be the one to take care of you and I can’t even do that.”
“Josh, it wasn’t your fault my dad died. We had no idea that Brock was going to go crazy.” His eyes are still downcast. “Josh, he had an underlying heart condition.” I sigh.
“Why did you cut me like that? We are supposed to be in this together. In the worst time of your life, I am supposed to be the one who takes care of you and you wouldn’t even speak to me.
I had to have Cameron check on you daily to see if you were alright.
In the end it was him that told me you weren’t coming back any time soon and that I should return to America,” he murmurs in a hurt voice.
“Josh,” I whisper.
“It fucking killed me to get on that plane without you.” His eyes tear up and guilt fills me as we touch foreheads and stay silent.
There are no words for this moment, nothing that accurately describes the amount of remorse that I have, for my father’s death…
for leaving Josh. What was I thinking? For a long time, we lie silently together enclosed in regret, lost deep in our own thoughts and holding each other tight.
I feel sick in my stomach. I should tell him the truth about his father.
“Joshua, we will never be apart again, I promise you. Our
hard times are over with.” I smile through the lump of guilt in my throat. He nods as if not believing me. “What about when Brock finds out? What are you going to do then?” he says in a flat voice as if not believing me.
“Josh, Brock has been a horrible cold brother to me since Dad died. He has no regard for my feelings. Even Mum has told him to wake up to himself. I have my mother’s blessing to be with you and now, that your mum and dad are on board we will be ok, baby. We love each other, right?”
He nods.
“Let’s just concentrate on today.… being happy today.” I smile softly.
He kisses my lips gently. “Deal,” he whispers. “I will spend every day ensuring a happy one for you.” I smile and kiss him gently as a knock comes to the door.
“Come in,” he snaps angrily at being interrupted.
Cameron walks into the room with a beaming smile. “Hello lovebirds.” I smile and pull out of Joshua’s embrace to lie on my back.
“Hello Doctor Love.” I smile.
“Hmm, Doctor Love has a ring to it. Although I would rather be known as Doctor Multiple.”
Joshua laughs out loud, “You really are a tool you know?” Cameron bites his lip to stifle a smile and winks at me.
“How are you feeling today?” he asks Joshua.
“Much better,” he replies. Cameron picks up Joshua’s file and starts to read it as he stands at the end of the bed. It still freaks me out that he is actually a qualified doctor. He reads something and frowns.
“What’s Murph doing?” Josh asks.
Cameron is still frowning and looking down at the file answers. “He’s busy working again. The media has got a hold of your overdose and the phones and website are apparently going crazy.”
“I’m going outside to see Max,” I whisper to give them some privacy.
Josh narrows his eyes at me and grabs my hand. “What’s with the sudden interest in Max?”
I frown at him. “You can’t be serious.… he’s my bodyguard.” Josh raises an eyebrow and continues to hold my hand in silent disapproval.
“Joshua, you are the one making him follow me around. He can go any time you like.”
My eyes flick back to Cameron who is still frowning at Joshua’s file. What is he looking at?
“Why are you frowning like that? Is something wrong?” I ask.