Chapter 13
Natasha
Today was my first day back at work since we found out about Gran.
I worked from eight until four and have just arrived at the hospital to see her.
I have purposely worn my black high-waist skirt and my cream silk blouse, sheer stockings, patent pumps.
Hair up, glasses on. Going for the secretary thing I know he likes so much.
If he’s going to hate me anyway, I may as well look good and rub his damn face in it.
Last night I wracked my brain all night about that text on New Year’s.
Did he send it from Cameron’s phone? Is that true, does he still love me?
Maybe Adrian sent it playing matchmaker.
Only one way to find out. Test him and, boy, is he going to be tested.
I undo my top button. I’m feeling more myself today, more confident.
I think I had an epiphany in the shower this morning.
Finally, it’s only taken six painful months.
I have had enough of trying to hold us together.
If he really doesn’t care, why should I?
Next time Jesten asks me out, I’m going. Stuff it, stuff him.
I walk down the corridor and see everyone sitting in a group, their backs to me. Bridget turns and sees me first, her eyes widen, and she smirks a knowing smile. You got it sister, I’m back.
I walk up gracefully and take out my phone. “Hi,” I smile at the group.
Cameron smiles. “Hi, Tash.” “Hi,” the others collectively say.
Joshua looks up the length of my body and snaps his eyes away angrily. Robert walks over and puts his arm around me. “How is my beautiful Natasha today?” he smiles broadly.
I smile. “Good thanks, back at my new job today. Glad to return to some normalcy.”
“New job?” He frowns. “Where are you working now?”
I smile and from the corner of my eye see Joshua’s head snap back to me. “I have left the Sexual Psychology Clinic. I now work in the hospital system, just regular psychology.”
He smiles. “Really?”
Cameron butts in. “Wow, Tash, big move. What made you move from what you were doing?”
I shrug. “Sick to death of dealing with infidelity and broken relationships.”
My eyes flick to Bridget and she winks at me. Take that, asshole.
My phone rings. I got one less problem without you. I got one less problem without you.
“Excuse me, Robert.” I pull away to answer my phone as I look at the screen. Abbie, let’s play one of her charades. Game on.
“Hello, Natasha Marx,” I purr as I hold my finger up to Robert. I walk away from the group and fake laugh.
“What are you doing?” Abbie snaps.
“Being you,” I smile.
“What?”
“I’m doing a little market research, seeing if you know who is still interested or not,” I whisper as I turn away from the group and face the window.
“Oh my God. Loving it sick. Fake laugh, make him think you are talking to a guy.”
I frown. “Oh God, so desperate,” I whisper.
“Trust me, this shit works.” She giggles. I laugh out loud. “Now make sure he can hear you and say yes you will see me on Saturday night if you’re there because you don’t know what you are doing yet, but thanks for the invite.”
“What, that’s ridiculous,” I whisper as I frown.
“Just say it,” she snaps.
I turn and walk back to the group, on the way saying, “I’m not sure yet. I might see you Saturday night. Thanks for the invite. Bye.” Oh shit, I stuffed it up. My phone immediately beeps a text and I stop mid step to check it.
It’s Bridget.
Joshua just cracked his neck at you.
I smirk and take a seat. One can never underestimate the power of a naughty secretary outfit. I sit opposite Bridget and she smirks at me. I look away so I don’t laugh or high five her or something equally ridiculous.
Robert stands. “This weekend all of Mum’s friends are coming from everywhere, so you kids have the weekend off.
We can’t take up the whole waiting area, go out and blow off some steam.
After you see her tonight, don’t come back until Monday.
” Everybody nods solemnly. My heart drops, I won’t see him all weekend. Bridget must be able to read my mind.
“Tash, Abbs and I are going to the Ivy tomorrow night. Why don’t you all come?” she asks innocently.
Cameron and Wilson nod. “Yeah, okay.” “I’m busy,” Joshua snaps.
This is backfiring. I pretend not to care and take out my wallet and for a distraction I walk over to the coke machine to get a bottle of water.
Joshua leans back on his chair and throws his arm along its back in annoyance.
His eyes scan down the length of my body and he cracks his neck again.
Ha, got you. You are still attracted to me.
I take the lid off my water, put my hand on my hip and put my head back to take a sip, deliberately licking my lips.
Yep, now I’m acting like some loser off a Coke ad, but who cares?
Joshua’s eyes run down the length of my body again and back up to my face.
This time he doesn’t even pretend not to be aroused.
His eyes penetrate mine, he’s giving me that look.
The one I love, fuck me it screams, and boy it’s smoking hot.
I can start to feel the heat from his stare burning a hole in my shirt, through my underpants.
Oh God, I need some serious…it’s been a long time.
I start to hear my pulse in my ears. Everybody else in the room has disappeared and just as I picture myself walking over, hitching up my skirt and straddling the magnificent beast, I am brought back to the present.
“Tash, Gran wants to see you and Joshua together,” Mum
smiles. My eyes snap to her as I pull out of my fantasy. “Huh?” I frown.
“She specifically asked to see you two together.”
My eyes shoot to Joshua and he runs his tongue over the front of his top teeth, his angry sign.
He stands in a rush and walks to the door.
He turns to me. “Coming,” he snaps as he raises his eyebrows.
Oh shit, I swallow the lump in my throat, and we walk together tentatively into Gran’s room where she lies peacefully in her bed surrounded by flowers.
She smiles when she sees me and holds out her hand affectionately.
I grab it and smile as I kiss the back of it.
Oh Gran, I love you. My eyes fill with tears at the reality of this situation. How many more times will I get to see her? Spend time with her, laugh with her?
We both gently kiss her on the cheek. “Are you ok, Gran?” I whisper.
“I want you two to make an old lady happy,” she whispers as she smiles.
I nod. “Yes, Gran, of course.”
“I know you two are desperately in love. I want you to both stop this ludicrous charade and get back together.”
My eyes widen and Joshua shakes his head. “Gran,” he whispers.
Oh no, what’s he going to say? He might upset her. I can’t stand it. I butt in. “It’s ok, Gran. Joshua and I are working it out, we are trying to get back together.” He narrows his eyes at me and shakes his head.
She smiles broadly. “Really? I didn’t know. This is great news. I knew it. I always knew you would find your way back to each other,” she whispers.
I walk over to Joshua and put my arm around him to cement my story. Crap, he feels good. Why does he feel so damn good? Warm and hard, I feel my body soften with arousal.
His eyes flick to me in contempt. He grabs my hand, picks it up and kisses the back of it.
I’m half scared he’s going to bite my finger off in anger.
Oh shit, what am I doing? My eyes widen in fear.
The door opens and two nurses walk in with a doctor and a trolley.
“Sorry to interrupt, we will just be five minutes,” the doctor smiles.
Joshua and I smile politely and move to the back corner of the room, and he stands behind me.
We both watch silently for a minute, and then I feel it.
Joshua runs his finger from the base of my neck down my spine to my bottom where he grabs a handful of my behind.
Holding onto my hips tightly, he slowly pulls my hair around my neck and he moves so he can whisper in my ear.
“So, you want to play happy family, do you, Natasha?” He gently nips my ear from behind and goosebumps scatter up my arms.
My eyes close as I am filled with desire.
“Do you want to go to pound town, baby?” He bites me gently again.
Oh, yes, I do. Yes, I do. He pulls my hips back so I can feel his erection digging into my behind and he gently bites my neck again.
“Are you aching to be filled, beautiful girl?”
YES. YES. YES. My body starts to pump with arousal. “Answer me,” he whispers.
My eyes close as I lose all coherent thought. “Yes,” I whisper.
“What do you want?” He kisses my neck again as he grinds his hips into me. Oh shit, I lose control as goosebumps scatter across my skin.
“You. Everything,” I whisper as I turn to kiss him.
He pulls back and smiles at me, as he raises an eyebrow. “You are like liquid nitrogen, Natasha,” he whispers.
“Burning hot on the outside. Freezing cold on the inside. Christopher was right, you are the fucking ice queen,” he sneers.
My eyes widen at his harsh words and I immediately step back from him in shock. He pulls away from me and rushes out of the room. My fury ignites. What!
“We will be back later, Gran,” I snap.
“Okay, dear.” She smiles as she looks at the nurse, oblivious to her asshole grandson and his bastard antics.
I storm out of the room and see Joshua standing over near the coke machine. I storm over.
“What the hell was that?” I snap. “Shut up,” he sneers.
“I will not shut up. Who in the hell do you think you are?” “Who in the hell do you think you are?” he snaps.
“I’m over it,” I yell.
“Stop this immediately.” Robert’s voice cracks through the room. Oh shit, we both look around to see we have an audience. Joshua narrows his eyes and pulls me by the arm into the fire escape stairway door.
“I’m not finished with this conversation,” he yells as the door slams behind us.
“I am,” I yell.