Chapter 25 #3
Joshua glares at her as he grabs some of his underpants from a drawer in my closet.
“It turned bad, really fucking bad!” he yells.
“Shut up, you idiot!” I scream. “You haven’t seen really bad yet!” I spray my underarms with deodorant angrily.
“Oh God, go away,” Bridget groans as she pulls the pillow over her head.
Joshua pulls up his underpants and shorts.
“Cameron, we’re leaving. Get up.”
Cameron is still lying over the bottom of my bed with the back of his forearm slung over his face. “Oh God,” he murmurs. “Now, fucker!” Joshua screams. He hits him on the back of the arm as he storms out into the lounge room.
Red steam is shooting from my ears, he is kidding himself. I have done nothing wrong and I will not apologize for leaving the club last night. He fucking deserved it. I follow him, still in my towel. He is at the sink having a glass of water.
I storm into the kitchen. “You are kidding yourself, Joshua Stanton. I will not take the blame for leaving the club last night. I was embarrassed that everyone knew what was going on but me again.”
He narrows his eyes at me as he finishes his drink. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
“Remember last time you made a fool of me was in the hospital when you were fucking Amelie,” I yell.
He throws his glass into the sink and it smashes. He holds up one finger at me. “It was one time, there was no fucking!”
“Same thing!” I scream.
He narrows his eyes at me. “Actually, you are right, you left me then too. Just fuck off now and be done with it.” He grabs his keys and leaves the apartment without his shirt on.
I can feel my heartbeat in my ears, I am just so damn angry.
Cameron staggers out of the bedroom. “Shit, I still feel drunk,” he croaks to Bridget who is laughing behind him. He turns and kisses her on the cheek. “Have a great trip.”
Oh shit, my heart drops. Bridget and Abbie and Mum are going away tonight for two weeks, I had forgotten. I hate this day already.
It’s seven o’clock and I have just returned from taking the girls to the airport, I am in the lift and my headache is thumping.
Max is by my side. I’m trying desperately to not be stressed and to hold off this migraine, but it’s getting worse.
I check my phone for the hundredth time.
I haven’t heard from Joshua all day. Is this how it is going to be with us from now on, both harboring grudges and resentment for past mistakes? Drama after drama.
He’s right, I should have stayed with him last night in a united front, but I was just so shocked.
He didn’t ask for this stupid bitch to do this to him but on the other hand surely, he must understand that I need honesty in a relationship more than anything.
He should have told me, but then who am I to talk?
I’m the ultimate deceiver. The secret I am keeping from him is a lot worse than a blackmail case.
This is such a mess. I’m as bad as his mother.
He’s holding me to ransom with punishment for leaving him in the past. If only he knew that I have only ever left him for him.
I would never go of my own accord, nothing is more important to me than my relationship with him.
“Are you staying in all night?” Max asks.
I give him a sad smile and nod. “Yes,” I whisper. I haven’t told Max that I had a fight with Joshua, but I am thinking he already knows. He was here when Joshua left this morning, furious and shirtless.
“You have a headache?” he asks gently.
My eyes flick to him. “Yes, how did you know?”
He smiles sympathetically. “Your hands are shaking, that only happens when you are getting a migraine.”
I look at the ground as my eyes fill with tears and I nod.
Why does my bodyguard know me better than anyone else? “Do you want me to call the doctor?” he asks. I shake my head.
“Have you heard from him?”
I look back at the ground and shake my head again. “No.” He nods and stays silent as the lift doors open.
I slowly make my way into my apartment and Max smiles. “I will be out here if you need me, ok?”
I nod and close the door quickly behind me.
I don’t have it in me for someone to be nice to me at the moment.
I may crack under the pressure. Why didn’t I just go to Hawaii with the girls?
I walk to the kitchen and instantly go to the medicine cabinet.
I need something that will knock me out and stop me thinking.
I can’t deal with this damn headache today.
I finally find some Mersyndol and take three and then drink a large glass of milk to fill my stomach.
I shower and dress and crawl onto the lounge under a blanket.
I wake to the feel of my hair being swiped back from my forehead and my blanket being rearranged over me.
“What’s wrong?” Joshua asks.
“Nothing, just a headache. I’m okay,” I whisper as I pull the blanket up to my chin in a defensive manner.
He stands over me and puts his hands on his hips. “You don’t look ok, you look like shit,” he murmurs.
I look up at him and smirk. “You look worse, but thanks for the compliment.”
He flops onto the lounge next to me and throws his feet onto my coffee table. For ten minutes he sits next to me and I can feel the anger radiating out of him. In the end it gets the better of me and I can no longer keep my mouth shut.
“Did you come over here to ignore me, Joshua?” I ask. He bites his thumbnail and shakes his head.
I roll my eyes and pull my blanket back up around my face. “Whatever,” I murmur.
For another half an hour I sit with him fuming next to me and my head feels like it is about to explode. “What is it Joshua? Why did you come here if you are furious?”
He jumps up in a rush. “I’m not mad with you,” he yells, and my eyes close from the echoing sound.
I frown. “Who are you mad with?” I reply.
“Myself mostly.”
I frown again. “Why?” The pain in my head becomes so intense that my eyes tear up and it starts to throb. I can’t handle this conversation now.
“Because I can’t stay away from you!” he yells. I sit up and frown at him.
“Every goddamn day at three o’clock I start to watch my clock counting the hours until I see you and it makes me sick.”
My eyes fill with tears as my head starts to really thump. “It makes you sick missing me?” I ask, mortified.
“I shouldn’t miss you. I should hate you, I shouldn’t feel the way I do about you!”
The pain in my head becomes too much to bear. “But I love you,” I whisper as the stupid tears roll onto my cheeks.
“Natasha!” he screams. “Are you listening to me at all?”
My head throbs and my tears fall. I don’t have the strength to deal with him now. I stand slowly. “Joshua, I am unwell. I can’t argue with you tonight. I need to go to bed,” I whisper in a strained voice.
He frowns as his face falls. “Are you ok?”
I shake my head. “No, I am not. I have a terrible headache. Can we talk about this tomorrow? I need some peace and quiet, Josh, please give me some.”