6. Six
Six
December 2017 - Five Years Ago
Connor Kelly
T onight is the night, and it’s going to be romantic as fuck.
Well, I hope it will be. Since October, we changed our meeting spot to this abandoned barn so we don’t freeze our bollocks off. There are also some stacks of hay in here that are much more comfortable than the frozen ground outside.
The hinges on the barn door creak loudly as Fee’s large, brown furry head nudges it open. His eyes dart around the room, immediately seeking me out, and my stomach flutters. Fee's wolf form is slightly smaller than mine, but his brown fur is long and puffs out, making him appear bigger. My gaze is locked in place as I watch his fur and bulky frame shrink away, leaving him standing before me, naked and smiling.
“You brought things,” he says right away. It's a particularly bitter winter, so he quickly puts on some joggers.
“I just thought maybe a gas lamp and some blankets would make it less resembling of the set of a horror film,” I reply, more defensively than is warranted.
“You’re cute.” He grins and walks towards me, planting a kiss on my lips. “What else have you got in that little backpack of yours?” he asks teasingly.
“Erm, like, stuff, you know, just in case, stuff.” He arches an eyebrow at me questioningly.
“Ahh, just in case stuff, that very specific kind of stuff, I know exactly what you mean.”
I can feel my face heating, and his eyes light up the second he notices. Damn my face for always giving me away.
“You’re blushing. I was only messing around, but now your face is that colour; I’m going to need you to show me what’s in the bag.” I can’t help the scowl on my face; this was meant to be romantic, and he’s ruining it.
“If you’re gonna be a prick about it, I can guarantee you won’t need anything I have in this bag,” I snap. He furrows his brow like he does whenever he tries to decipher one of my outbursts. I try desperately to bury all my mushy feelings that keep threatening to spill out.
“I’m sorry, babe, I didn’t mean to poke the bear. I was just curious.” He at least has the decency to sound contrite.
“I’m not a bear; I’m a fuckin’ wolf,” I mutter under my breath.
“The cutest fucking wolf I’ve ever seen.” He pushes me back down onto the blanket, settling between my legs and kisses me leisurely, as though we have all the time in the world.
I’ve always had a short temper; thankfully, Fee never seems to take it personally. Even if I get irritated and snap at him, he laughs it off, and a minute later, he’s over it. I hate apologising, so I appreciate how quickly he lets things go.
Somewhat regretting getting stroppy with Fee over the contents of my bag, I want to get the night back on track.
“Um, Fee?” I ask between kisses. “Have you ever had sex before?” I try to sound casual.
“Huh...? Erm, we’ve had sex quite a bit, so I’m kinda worried you don’t seem to remember it. Have you hit your head on something?” He holds my face, pretending to inspect it for bumps and scrapes.
“Ugh, you know what I mean.”
“Are you sure you want to know this?”
“Yeah.” I nod, vehemently.
“Fine. Roughly two years ago, I got pretty hammered at my brother’s wedding and slept with a bridesmaid. She was from a different pack, so it seemed a good idea at the time. My brother disagreed since she was his new sister-in-law. Honestly, I don’t even remember it very well.” Fee gets a dusting of colour on his cheeks at the confession.
“So, you’ve never had sex with a guy before then?” I blurt out.
“Not anal, if that’s what you mean. I’ve done other stuff. Why the sudden twenty questions about my sexual history anyway?” he asks before the penny drops. “Oh shit, that’s what’s in the bag, isn't it?” Fee says in a rush before going to grab the aforementioned bag from the ground next to us.
“I don’t have anal in my backpack, no,” I reply, being difficult on purpose.
“Got the good stuff, too,” he says, inspecting the label of the lube he found in the front pocket.
My face feels so hot it must be crimson. Why is this so embarrassing? We sixty-nined right in this very spot a week ago, so I’ve no idea why I’m suddenly getting shy about this.
He gently kisses the tip of my nose, then looks around at the pile of blankets and the gas lamp that’s creating a soft glow.
“Baby, I can’t believe you did all this,” he says softly.
“I’ve, um, never done this before, but I've read about it, and I thought maybe we could try it?” My voice comes out a few octaves too high, betraying my nerves.
“I’ve thought about it a lot too, anal, I mean,” Fee says, and relief washes over me.
“You have?”
“Mhmm. When you planned this, did you, erm… picture yourself on the giving or receiving end?” Fee asks, sounding as nervous as I am, which makes me feel better. Like we’re in this together, and it helps me find some of my confidence.
“I thought maybe at first you could try fuckin’ me, but if you don’t want to, we don’t have to—I’ll just blow you.”
“'I’ll just blow you'—way to woo a guy,” he says teasingly. “I’ve read about it too, you know…” I arch my eyebrow at him. “Fine, I watched some gay porn—for research purposes. I knew if we ever did this, that I wanted to make it good for you.”
I can’t help but laugh, and it breaks some of the tension. I believe him, though. Above all else, I know Fee will put his all into making it good for me.
“What if, well. What if, um, there’s… you know…?”
Fuck me, why can’t I get my words out.
“I can honestly say I've no idea what you're asking me, but if there’s something worrying you, you don’t need to be embarrassed to talk to me about it, okay?” I take a deep breath.
“Um. What if there’s, like, shit?” I can see him fighting the urge to snicker because he doesn’t want to offend me, but with the words finally spoken, I can’t help the laugh that slips out, and all I do is set him off.
Gathering himself, he says, “Look, there could be some shit, yes. But think of it this way, if I come knocking on your front door, and you answer, I can’t exactly act surprised by that, can I? If you get what I’m saying…” I snort out even more laughter at his analogy, but it does ease some of my concerns, and how he puts me at ease makes my heart swell.
“You really missed a great opportunity for a back door joke there.” Fee shakes his head at me, but he’s grinning.
Deciding the time for talking is over, I reach up and pull Fee’s face down to mine and kiss him hard. The anticipation of what we’re going to do has me tenting my joggers, and when he grinds against me, I groan into his mouth.
We break apart the kiss just long enough to pull our bottoms off. With neither of us wearing underwear, we’re suddenly exposed to the cold air until Fee blankets me, settling back between my legs. His hard cock rubs against my own, but it’s not enough.
Fee nips and licks along my jaw and down my neck as I thrust my hips, trying to seek out more friction. Trailing kisses down my body, he sucks on my nipple, making my back arch in response.
“I love this,” he says, running his finger along the trail of hair between my belly button and pubes. I don’t have a lot of body hair, but it’s dark and contrasts with my pale white skin.
I’m not as vocal as Fee is during sex, but I love the way he seems to speak without even realising it. Telling me exactly what he enjoys and how good everything feels, reassuring the parts of my brain that worry I’m getting all of this wrong.
When I hear him uncap the lube, I lean onto my elbows to watch him. He coats his index finger and rubs it over my rim.
“Can I?” he asks, his voice deep and gravelly.
“Yeah, but go slow, okay?”
He nods, and if I wasn’t so keyed up, I’d laugh at the serious expression on his face. He pushes his finger into me carefully, and I wince. It doesn’t hurt exactly, but it does feel odd, and I suddenly regret not trying this part by myself in the privacy of my bedroom.
“Is this okay?”
“Yeah, feels weird, but it’s okay.”
The new and strange intrusion causes my dick to soften. Noticing, Fee leans forward and takes me into his mouth. I harden immediately on his tongue, and it successfully distracts me from the finger working its way in and out of me.
“Fuck, okay. I can take more now.” Fee pulls his mouth off me and adds more lube to his fingers. He returns to licking up and down my cock slowly before there’s a slight pressure of two fingers pressing in. I’m surprised to find it feels better than with only one. With Fee’s warm, wet mouth wrapped around me, I welcome the way his fingers stretch me open, and I can’t help but moan.
When he crooks his fingers, precisely brushing over an unfamiliar spot, every nerve ending in my body lights up like a Christmas tree. My hips move reflexively until I’m riding his fingers, every self-conscious feeling I have flying out of the window. Crawling up my body to kiss me, I whimper at the empty sensation when he removes his fingers. The kiss is wet and sloppy, and I’m so turned on my skin feels like it’s on fire.
“Are you ready?” he asks between kisses.
“Yeah, I think so. Please.”
“So polite.” He smirks at me and I smack him on the chest.
My irritation is quickly forgotten as I watch him pour lube onto his cock, which looks bigger all of a sudden. I can’t help but gulp at the prospect of it having to fit inside me. I try to swallow my nerves, but Fee must see it written all over my face.
“I’ll go really slow, and if it doesn’t feel good, we’ll stop, okay?” I nod and try to relax, knowing it’ll go smoother if I’m not tense. “Lift up a sec.”
I do as I’m told, and Fee tucks one of the spare folded blankets under my hips. Wrapping his hand around my cock with a firm grip, he starts stroking me, torturously slow. I try to breathe out when his tip pushes against the tight ring of muscle. He continues, pushing in slowly, and I bear down until he’s fully seated inside me.
“Are you okay?” Fee asks, searching my face for any signs of discomfort. Beyond a bit of an initial sting, I’m surprised by how good it feels. The sensation of being so full is satisfying in a way I hadn’t expected.
“Yeah. Feels good, actually. Better than I thought,” I say breathily. Fee looks down at where we’re joined and tugs his full bottom lip between his teeth.
“Babe, you have no idea how hot this looks. Is it weird if I take a photo to show you?” I almost say yes because that does sound hot, and I would love to see it, but then he pulls out ever so slightly before pushing all the way back in again, and I can’t think of anything at all.
“Maybe next time; I really need you to fuck me now, or I might actually implode,” I gasp out.
“Sorry, my bad.” His big hands push my thighs back, and I hook one leg over his shoulder and the other around his waist as he bends down to kiss me, folding me in half.
Fee moves in and out of me, slowly at first, all the way out, before plunging back in and making me moan. Using the leg wrapped around his waist, I pull him closer, encouraging him to go faster until the sounds of skin slapping against skin fill the near-empty barn.
I reach a hand down between us to stroke myself, but he leans back, dropping my legs down and bats my hand out of the way so he can take over.
Pouring the lube over my cock, Fee starts jerking me off in time with his thrusting hips. My orgasm quickly starts to build at the base of my spine. The way he rubs his thumb over the head of my dick, exactly the way I like it, is driving me wild.
Fee overwhelms me in the best way, his cock stretching and filling me, his hand wrapped around me. When I look up at him, his usually soft brown eyes are dark with desire. Affection and adoration feel like birds trapped in the cage of my chest, desperate to escape through the three words we've yet to say out loud.
What did I do to deserve him?
“You look so bloody beautiful laid out for me, taking me so good.”
And that does it.
All the muscles in my body seem to tense and release at once, followed by jets of cum spraying from my cock, all over Fee’s hand and my stomach. My skin tingles and the tremors from my orgasm seem to keep vibrating through me as he continues to fuck into me.
Fee stares down at the mess of cum on my abs and then grips my thighs, pounding into me hard for several thrusts before his rhythm stutters.
“Fuck. Holy shit. Fuck. I’m gonna come,” he says right as his cock pulsates, filling me up. I revel in the feel of his warm release inside me. I love knowing it was my body that made him come. I'm suddenly grateful that we don't have to use condoms since we can’t catch STIs or any human diseases.
He collapses on top of me in a heap, breathing heavily, and I press a kiss to his shoulder. I’d never put a considerable amount of thought into how I wanted to have sex for the first time, but I’m not disappointed. I can’t help the smile that spreads across my face as I’m blanketed by a hot and sweaty, sexed-out Fee. This was perfect, and I wouldn’t change a thing.
Thankfully, I thought far enough ahead to pack some baby wipes. We clean up the best we can before settling back under the blankets.
I’m curled into Fee’s side, my fingertips playing with the light dusting of hair on his chest and completely content. We’re both blissed out and for the first time since I can remember, my thoughts are quiet.
Until they’re suddenly not so quiet.
“I think I know who you are,” I whisper, no longer wanting there to be unspoken secrets between us.
“What do you mean?”
“Fee… it’s short for Phoenix, isn’t it? Phoenix Campbell?”
“Yes, yeah.” He sighs and squeezes me with the arm wrapped around me. “Does this change things?” he asks, sounding worried.
“Not really. Don’t you wanna know who I am?”
He kisses the top of my head.
“I know who you are, Connor Kelly.”
I’m not sure why I’m surprised, but I am. I’d guessed who he was a while ago, but the mention of his brother’s wedding basically confirmed it.
Jasper Campbell marrying Jade Eastwood was all anyone could talk about a few years ago.
“How d’you know?” I ask, not annoyed, just curious.
He takes a moment before replying, “A couple of weeks ago, you mentioned having a twin. How many wolf shifter twins have you heard of?” I laugh because I hadn’t even realised I’d let that slip. Twins amongst wolf shifters are beyond rare. “I’ve met your dad before; there’s not much of a resemblance.”
“No, Niamh and Sam take after him. I look like our mum.”
“I’m sorry you lost your mum. I can’t imagine what that must have been like.” I almost reply with the usual 'it was a long time ago', but I don’t feel like lying to Fee.
“I still miss her a lot. I think she would've liked you,” I tell him honestly. My mum had a wicked sense of humour and would have warmed to him immediately. It’s oddly comforting to know that.
“She wouldn’t have threatened to beat me off with a stick if I broke her son’s heart, then?”
I snort a laugh.
“Probably that too. She was fierce; Niamh is the same way.” Fee rolls on top of me and starts peppering kisses all over my face.
“If she was fierce, it sounds as if you’re a lot like her, too.” I hold his face still, cupping his cheeks with the palms of my hands, and gaze into his big brown eyes, which are so open that I don’t think he could hide something from me if he tried.
“I love you,” I say, realising I can feel it in every fibre of my being. Fee's eyes get a mischievous glint in them before he replies.
“One good dicking was all it took for you to fall madly in love with me?” I can’t fight the laugh that bursts out of me, but I pinch his side in retaliation regardless. “Ow!”
“Way to ruin the fuckin’ moment, dickhead.”
“I love you too, Connor Kelly.”
And even though I knew it because Fee showed me in all the ways that count, it still warms my heart to hear. Sometime in the last six months, it seems Fee burrowed under my skin and made a home in my heart—and I wouldn’t have it any other way.