Chapter 16 #4
“Hey, how was dinner? You coming to bed?” I asked, still groggy, until I caught sight of his red-rimmed eyes and stopped short. “What happened? Is everything okay?”
“Not really.” His voice sounded flat and unfamiliar, like it belonged to someone else. “My mom has cancer.”
I was still half asleep, my brain struggling to catch up. “What?”
“My mom told me she has cancer,” he repeated, numb and emotionless. “Lung cancer, to be exact, which makes no sense since she’s never smoked a cigarette in her life.” He finally looked up at me, and the devastation in his eyes hollowed out my chest. “She’s only fifty-two.”
“Oh, Ry,” I said, taking a seat next to him at the table and putting my hand on his leg. “I’m so sorry. I don’t know what to say.”
“It’s why she took so long to come visit,” he said, his expression vacant. “She knew I’d be upset, and she didn’t want to distract me during filming.”
We stayed up for a while, Ryder walking me through everything she’d told him—her diagnosis, the treatment plan, the odds—before going to bed, not that either of us got much sleep.
I held him tight, determined to help him even if I didn’t know how.
Maybe I couldn’t fix it, but I could make sure he didn’t face it alone.
The next morning, Nora pulled me aside while Ryder was in the hair and makeup trailer. “I was hoping I’d get a chance to talk to you alone,” she said after I’d given her a long hug.
“I’m so sorry to hear this news, Nora,” I told her, steering us toward a picnic table set up in a patch of shade behind some equipment trucks, out of earshot of the others. “Tell me what you need. How can I help?”
“For starters, don’t let him turn down this movie he’s so excited about.
He’s already making noise about coming to Florida for my treatments,” she said, a current of concern in her voice.
“I almost didn’t have the guts to tell him after he shared his news.
I don’t want him putting his life on hold to play nursemaid.
” She squeezed my hand. “No matter what he says, don’t let him drop out because of me, okay? He’ll listen to you.”
“I don’t know that I can convince him to do anything,” I protested.
“You can.” She looked wistful. “I always wondered who’d be lucky enough to steal my son’s heart, and after seeing you two together, I can’t imagine it being anyone else.
He seems so much lighter. I’ve never seen him smile this much.
” She smiled at me now, her eyes crinkling with warmth.
“I’ve been hearing about you since the audition, you know.
This beautiful girl who was so talented.
He was in awe of you. I had a feeling things would turn out this way, and I’m so glad they did. ”
It was such a lovely sentiment, her kind words wrapping around me like a blanket warm from the dryer—and somehow that made it harder, knowing she was offering comfort when she was the one facing the unknown.
“You know why I named him Ryder?” she said suddenly, and I shook my head.
“I knew raising him was going to be the ride of my life. And it has been.” She angled toward me, her eyes lit with conviction.
“I’m as clueless as the next person about what makes a movie successful, but in the single day I’ve been on set, even I can see this one is something special.
You two are magic together. Big things are coming for you both. I hope you’re ready for it.”
Her compliment was coated in sugar, but I still tasted the warning underneath, like bitter medicine stirred into something sweet.
“You’ve probably learned by now that Ryder’s a very internal person,” she said, watching a bird land on the edge of the table and peck at some crumbs, her tawny blond hair ruffling lightly in the breeze.
“It always drove me nuts, that he’d never talk about a problem until he had it resolved.
I just wanted him to let me in so I could support him, but it’s not his way.
When he’s upset about something, he doesn’t ask for help.
” She fixed her eyes on mine, something urgent in her gaze. “He’s going to need you, Scarlett.”
I felt the weight of her words settle over me like a shroud, and I suddenly understood what was happening here.
She was preparing for the inevitable and asking me to fill the space she’d leave behind, to love him through something she wouldn’t be here to see.
The gravity of it landed like a blow. I hardly knew what to say.
“I’m sorry to be so blunt,” she said, swallowing hard, “and I know this is a lot of pressure to put on you, especially so early in your relationship. I’m going to fight this with everything I’ve got, but the statistics on this type of cancer aren’t in my favor.
And I’m terrified of leaving my boy all alone.
” Her eyes shone bright with tears, and I knew then exactly what she needed from me.
“You don’t have to worry, Nora. I’ll take care of him.” She hugged me tightly, and when we pulled back, I squeezed her hand, sealing the promise between us. “I love him, and I’ll be there for him, whatever happens.”
I could never have known how quickly I’d break that promise.