Chapter 12
I wake up a day later, still reeling from the pain that is now nothing more than dull, aching bruises. Fae medicine is quite literally magical.
If only it could heal my broken heart from losing a friend.
As annoying as she was, and as much as I hate to admit it—Tessa was that.
A friend.
Everybody else made it out.
Bruised, broken, shaken—but still breathing.
A funeral will be held tonight in honour of Tessa—ironic, really, considering it’s the Court’s shapeshifters that killed her.
And all I can think of is how I never gave her that hug.
How I should have.
I never fucking learn.
Now I understand why they give us two weeks between the trials.
“How do you feel?” Lucas checks on me every two hours, like he’s trying to make sure I haven’t slit my own throat.
It’s like the blind leading the blind.
Now two of the people we cared about are dead. And we’re outnumbered by the rest of the contestants.
“Splendid,” I say, picking sarcasm over screaming. I’ve been in bed all day, reading and resting, trying not to get in my own head. Only now do I notice he’s in his guard uniform. “You went to work?”
“Yeah, well,” he replies, sinking into the chair next to my bed. Lucas explained to me this morning that he basically begged Daphne to lift the ward so he could be the only one allowed to visit me. “Needed something to distract me.”
That’s not a bad idea, actually.
Kieran hasn’t been by.
And I’m not sure how I feel about seeing him.
This is his Court.
His shapeshifters.
He might as well have driven a knife into her himself.
“You coming out for the funeral?”
That word hits me like a blow to the head. I can’t even bring myself to speak, so I just nod.
I won’t miss it.
Not when I already missed our last hug.
Lucas seem to understand exactly how I’m feeling. He just gives my arm a gentle squeeze and rises to his feet, even though it’s barely been five minutes since he sat down. “I’ll let you get ready.”
“Thanks.”
I lie there for another ten minutes after Lucas closes the door behind him. Part of me refuses to move—to get up, to pick a suitable dress and attend this funeral.
I can’t quite wrap my head around what happened.
It might have only been two weeks, but in that short time, we shared something that I haven’t with anyone else.
And I failed her.
Like I failed everyone I care about.
I manage to get up at last. I don’t know what a Fae funeral is like, but black is a universal colour of grief.
Lucas picks me up twenty minutes later, now dressed in a sharp black suit. We walk in silence, sadness clinging to us like ghosts. In a span of two months, we’ve attended two of our loved ones’ funerals. How do you even deal with something like that?
The funeral is held in the garden. The sky is clear, and the stars have risen, brighter than any other nights since I arrived. Seats are arranged in neat rows, and at the front, on a flower-laced dais, lies Tessa’s lifeless body.
So many flowers. Too many.
The Fae wear black. Some have already taken their seats. In the front row sit Oliver, Leon, and Daisy. No sign of Jordan.
I didn’t expect this.
Not any of it.
I thought only Lucas and I would show up—maybe Oliver and Leon, since Oliver is the only other normal one of us, and if he did, he would convince Leon to come, too. They’ve become a weird uncle–nephew duo.
But this?
I don’t understand.
They kill us off, then host our funerals?
“I guess we should be glad that at least Tessa is getting a proper send-off?” Lucas mutters in confusion.
I guess so.
We walk up to the dais. I don’t know the details of how she died. I don’t want to. All I know is that her version of twisted shapeshifter got to her. I assume there’re injuries, but the Fae must have used magic to make her look untouched.
She looks so young.
Now that she’s lying in front of me, not breathing, it finally feels real.
Tessa is dead.
I lean in, gently giving her the last hug she asked for, wishing she could still feel it, somehow. I let my tears fall, just for a moment, then I pull back.
I watch as Lucas kisses her forehead goodbye. Then we both turn to take our seats next to the other contestants.
“Why are you even here?” I ask Daisy before I can stop myself.
She glances at me. “How heartless do you think I am? I want to win, but that doesn’t mean I enjoy watching someone die.”
I don’t know if I believe her. She could be trying to get on my good side, since the position for my friend is now open.
But I let it go. No point arguing at a funeral. Lucas rests his hand on the back of my chair and pulls me closer gently, as if to both comfort and calm me down.
“It’s okay. Tessa wouldn’t mind,” he whispers.
No, she wouldn’t. She had a big heart like that.
But good doesn’t defeat evil in real life, and nice people die young.
The wretched ones?
They sit amongst us.
Immortal.
“Good evening, lovelies.” Aurora steps onto the dais after everyone has taken their seats.
She’s wearing a long-sleeve black gown and veiled hat, crimson paint on her lips—but tonight, there is no smile, no inappropriate jokes.
Her tone is crisp, solemn. “This is my least favourite part of the trials.”
Least favourite?
Then why put shapeshifters in there?
Why not just send whoever loses home?
“I think I speak for everyone that Tessa was one of the brightest ones here, and I’m not going to dishonour her by pretending I knew her well, or by saying something pretty just for the sake of it.
But a life has been lost. And tonight, we honour that life before we give her back to the stars.
” She glances up at the sky. “Would anyone like to say a few words?”
That question is for me and Lucas.
But I don’t move.
This is wrong.
They killed her.
Lucas doesn’t move either, guilt hanging over us both like we’re doomed to carry it for eternity. I just rest my head on his shoulder and close my eyes.
“Very well, then,” Aurora says quietly.
The music begins—low, haunting. One by one, the Fae leaders step up to place a black rose on the dais—Kieran is the first. He lingers afterwards, standing off to the side as the others follow.
Lucas and I are the last. His arm hasn’t left my shoulder all night.
I meet Kieran’s eyes as we step down from the dais.
It’s been a few days since we last spoke.
I don’t know if he’s my friend, just a Fae I’m trying to use—one who’s also using me—or just someone I’m about to turn into a rebound when grief and alcohol swallow me whole.
I don’t know anything anymore.
Everybody stands once the last flowers are laid. Kieran steps forward again. He raises a hand, and slowly, fireflies rise from Tessa’s body. Hundreds of them, glowing soft and gold, spiralling up into the starry sky, leaving only the flowers behind.
How can something so beautiful be so heart-breaking at the same time?
The crowd leaves not long after that, but Lucas and I linger.
Kieran still stands there, giving us a moment before stalking closer.
“I’m sorry,” he offers softly. I can feel Lucas’s arm tighten around me.
“Cry me a river.” Lucas snorts. “Your shapeshifters killed her.”
“I know.”
His words are unexpected, heavy. Acceptance without any excuse. He doesn’t say anything else, just glances up at the sky, his jaw tense.
And I don’t understand any of this at all.
“What’s going to happen to her family?” I ask. “Will they ever find out?”
“No,” Kieran murmurs, direct and cruel. “Their memories of her will be erased. Anyone who knew Tessa won’t remember she existed. Except us.”
My breath catches in my throat. Lucas is still as a rock.
“That’s too cruel.”
“Maybe,” he whispers, letting a soft sigh. “But never getting closure is worse.”
“Why?” I demand, pulling away from Lucas to face Kieran fully. “Why can’t you just tell them?”
“That’s the rule. No one learns what goes on in this Court,” Kieran says, frowning. “You already know that.”
“But that’s not fair! You need to do something—change the bloody rule!” I shout.
Heads turn in our direction.
It’s not very wise to raise my voice at the King of the Court, and I doubt many ever have.
But I don’t care if he hurts me.
Let him.
Let him take my eye like he did Jordan’s.
Let him snap his fingers and erase me from existence.
I probably fucking deserve it.
“Would you rather her family grieve forever?” Kieran narrows his eyes at me. “Do you know she came here because her mum is ill, and she wanted the wish to save her?”
What—
Tessa’s mum is sick?
“She’s been bedridden for months. Do you know she lies there, blaming herself for Tessa’s disappearance?”
His jaw tightens. His words land like thunder.
“Would you rather the poor woman die of heartbreak and guilt?”
I press my lips into a thin line, refusing to break eye contact. Never once did Tessa mention that to me, or Lucas. She was always light and sunshine.
And this?
This is Kieran’s version of kindness?
Fuck.
The worst part is—I get it.
Somewhere deep down, in the ugliest, most broken part of me … I find myself agreeing with him.
Kieran’s eyes soften, like he sees it, too.
Somehow, we understand each other, as twisted as it is.
“Come on.” He offers me a hand again. A truce.
Lucas immediately pulls me back by the arm. A silent no from him.
I open my mouth, then close it, finding myself hesitating.
My hands are shaking.
“Where are we going?” I whisper, my voice hoarse, even though Lucas is still holding me.
“To get drunk.”
And that’s enough for me. I hear Lucas calling my name, trying to stop me, but I place my hand in Kieran’s.
Not once—not ever—have I said no to this hand.
I’m beyond hopeless.
It’s not the Tower of Stars we vanish to. This time, it’s the River of Vows.
Under the gazebo, a carafe of Fae wine waits on the table. Two glasses. Set like it knew sadness would make us find our way to it eventually.
I don’t care how dark, or how cold it is.