Chapter 16 #4
"Not everything," he said quietly. "Some things cannot be faked."
Heat flooded my cheeks as I scowled at him. "How convenient that you'd say that now."
Cypher ran a hand through his hair and growled in frustration. "I won't deny manipulating circumstances to bring you here. I needed you, and I did what I had to do. But my feelings for you are real. They've complicated everything. I never wanted to hurt you. You have to believe that."
"I don't have to believe anything you say ever again," I spat, turning back to my pack. "I'm leaving. I'm going home to my family—the family you put in danger for your own selfishness."
"And how will you get there? We're in a dead realm, with only one ship and one crew who knows the way back through the Gallery."
I whirled to face him. "Are you threatening to keep me prisoner?"
"Of course not. I'm simply pointing out the reality of our situation. You're free to go if you find a way. But I'm asking you to stay. To hear me out completely."
"Why should I listen to another word you say?"
"Because despite everything, you care about what happens to the Nytherian refugees. Because you've seen what the Assembly is capable of. And because deep down, you know your connection to the First Dark isn't something you can run from."
I hated that he was right. Hated that even now, angry and betrayed as I was, part of me still wanted to help the innocent people who'd lost their home. But not like this. Never like this.
"I respect myself too much to let you use me, Cypher."
My legs gave out and I dropped to the edge of the bed. My face fell into my hands as a sob tore through my body, too powerful to stifle. The sound was ugly and raw, ripped from somewhere deep inside me that I'd never known existed.
I felt him move toward me, his footsteps creaking on the wooden floor.
"Don't," I choked out, raising one hand like a shield. "Get away from me. Don't you dare touch me again. Not ever."
He froze, breathing hard and fast, as if it somehow mattered to him. But I knew better now. Everything had been calculated, every moment engineered to manipulate me.
I drew in several shuddering breaths, forcing the tears to stop through sheer willpower. With trembling hands, I wiped my cheeks, composing myself as best I could. When I looked up at him again, I made sure my eyes were as cold as the frozen ocean outside.
"Fine, Cypher. You win. I'll stay. For now.
" Hope flickered across his face, but I cut it down immediately.
"Not for you. Never, ever for you. For the crew.
Because I want to see the look on their faces when they find out what their captain really did to get them here.
" I stood up, forcing myself to meet his gaze directly.
"And because those refugees deserve better than you.
They deserve someone who will help them without destroying innocent lives along the way. "
I brushed past him, knocking him into the wall as I swept out the door, slamming it behind me. I walked until I found myself on deck, the cold air biting at my tear-stained cheeks. The dead realm stretched before me, gray and lifeless. Fitting, I thought bitterly. This was where dreams came to die.
"Juno?" I turned to find Kora standing by the rail. "Are you okay? What's wrong?"
For a moment, I considered telling her everything. But the words caught in my throat. How could I explain that the man she'd chosen to follow had manipulated us all? Besides, I knew Jask had to be the one to tell her the truth. It was the only way he had even a slight chance to repair the damage.
"I'm fine," I lied, forcing a smile that felt like it might crack my face. "Just tired from yesterday."
She studied me, clearly not believing me but choosing not to push. "Vic wants to check your vitals again when you have a moment. He's worried."
"I'll find him later," I promised.
She watched me for a long moment, and I could feel that she wanted to say more. So as she turned to walk away, I beat her to it. "Kor?" She froze, then spun to face me. "Talk to Jask. Right now. Before you do anything else, go talk to him. He'll know what it's about."
I watched Kora walk away, hoping against hope that Jask would tell her everything.
She deserved the truth, even if it shattered what they had built together.
My chest ached with betrayal so deep it felt like Cypher had reached inside and torn something vital from me.
Maybe his soul magic was a lot stronger than he thought it was.
The wind picked up, carrying the scent of metal and dust across the deck. I wrapped my arms around myself, trying to hold together the pieces that threatened to fly apart. How could I have been so blind? So easily manipulated?
I made my way to the bow, needing distance from everyone. The frozen ocean stretched before me, a vast mirror reflecting the pale sun. From this vantage point, I could see for miles in every direction, all of it dead, all of it empty.
"You shouldn't be up here in the cold." I turned to find Zoya approaching, her dark hair whipping around her face in the wind. She joined me at the rail, her eyes fixed on the horizon rather than on me. "I know what happened," she said simply. "Jask told me while he was looking for Kora."
"And?"
"And nothing. I'm here if you need to talk, or if you need help breaking Cypher's nose. Either way."
A surprised laugh escaped me, quickly followed by more tears I couldn't control. Zoya didn't touch me or offer empty platitudes. She just stood beside me while I cried.
"I don't know what to do," I finally admitted, wiping my face with my sleeve. "I can't leave, but I can't stay either. Not with him."
"Then don't stay with him," she said, as if it were that simple. "Stay with us. The crew. We didn't know what he did, Juno. We wouldn't have allowed it."
"I believe you." And I did. Her shock was too genuine, her anger on my behalf too real. "But it doesn't change what happened."
"No, it doesn't." She turned to face me fully. "But it does change what happens next."
Before I could ask what she meant, shouting erupted from below deck. A crash, followed by more yelling—Kora's voice, high pitched and utterly furious, then Jask's, pleading. Another crash, then footsteps.
Kora burst onto the deck, her face streaked with tears, red hair wild around her shoulders.
When she saw me, she froze for an instant, then ran straight into my arms. "He knew!
" she sobbed against my shoulder. "Jask knew what Cypher did to Uncle Marv and he didn't tell me.
He let me bring you into this. He let me—"
"I know," I murmured, holding her tight. "I know."
Jask appeared at the hatchway, his handsome face devastated as he watched us. A bruise was forming on his cheek. Kora's handiwork, no doubt. Good. He deserved that and more.
"Kora, please," he started, taking a step toward us.
"Stay away from me," she snarled, not lifting her head from my shoulder.
Zoya stepped between them. "Give her space, Jask. Now isn't the time."
He looked like he might argue, but then his shoulders slumped in defeat. With one last agonized glance at Kora, he retreated below deck.
More footsteps on the stairs, and then Knives emerged, followed by Tor, Omri and Vic. They approached cautiously, as if we might shatter at any sudden movement.
"We just heard," Tor said, his deep voice unusually subdued. "Jask told us everything."
"Are you both alright?" Vic asked, medical bag already in hand.
"No," Kora and I answered in unison, which startled a watery laugh from both of us.
Knives moved to Zoya's side, their fingers intertwining automatically. "What do you need from us?" she asked, direct as always.
I looked at the faces of these people who had become something like family over the weeks we'd spent together. "I need to know where you all stand," I said. "With us or with him?"
They exchanged glances, some silent communication passing between them.
"The crew stands together," Tor said finally. "Always has."
"That's not an answer," Kora snapped.
"It is, actually," Knives replied. "Because you're crew. Both of you."
"And Cypher?" I pressed.
Zoya's expression hardened. "He's our captain. But he crossed a line."
"Several lines," Vic added nervously.
"What we're trying to say," Tor continued, "is that we don't agree with what he did. But we also believe in what we're trying to accomplish here."
"Saving the refugees."
"Yes," Knives nodded. "They're innocent in all this. They need a home."
"And the Genesis Engine is the only way to create one," Vic added.
I sighed, running a hand through my wind-tangled hair. "I know. And I know I'm the only one who can find it."
"We won't force you," Zoya said firmly. "If you want to leave, we'll find a way to get you home."
"Both of you," Knives added, looking at Kora.
Kora straightened, wiping her eyes. "I don't know what I want yet."
"Me neither," I admitted. "I need time to think."
"Take all the time you need," Tor said. "We're not going anywhere."
The irony of his words wasn't lost on me. We were literally stranded in a dead realm with only one ship. But I appreciated the sentiment nonetheless.
"In the meantime," Knives said, a dangerous gleam in her eye, "perhaps our dear captain needs a reminder about the consequences of betraying the crew."
"Knives," Zoya warned, though without much conviction.
"What? I'm just suggesting a conversation. With my fists."
Despite everything, I found myself smiling slightly. "I appreciate the offer, but I need to handle this my own way."
They respected that, offering support without pushing further. As they dispersed to their duties, Kora remained at my side.
"What are you going to do?" she asked quietly.
I looked out at the frozen wasteland again. "I don't know yet. But whatever I decide, we decide together, okay? You and me."
She nodded, squeezing my hand. "Just like the fire incident."
I cut my eyes at her. "We agreed never to talk about the fire incident."