Chapter 35
Chapter Thirty-Five
Willow drifted through the next couple of weeks.
She tried to block Dylan out of her mind, told herself it was for the best, but it was like holding back the tide, he kept swamping her thoughts no matter how hard she tried not to think about him.
She could sense his presence over the other side of the forest, had to stop herself wandering over to the clearing to catch a glimpse.
Nearly veered off the road when she thought she saw him on the sidewalk.
She looked for distractions wherever she could find them—finally answered a call from her artistic director and made all the right noises as he talked about next season’s production and the start date for rehearsals.
It gave her a reason to double-down on her training, fill up every spare moment that she wasn’t teaching Zoey and her friends or helping her mom at The Silver Pantry.
The leaves were now a riot of auburn hues.
Bella had a baby shower at The Firestone.
All the talk at Silver Sky Ranch was about the upcoming charity polo game.
But Willow wasn’t interested in that. As the days counted down, her attention kept wandering to Noah every time she saw him on the phone.
She knew who it was he left the room to talk to, because they were getting closer and closer to the last race Thunder would enter that season.
When the day came, it coincided with a recital Zoey and her friends were putting on for the parents.
Willow woke up to gray skies heavy with clouds.
Noah had decided to go and watch Thunder, wanted to see how she ran at least once before the season ended.
Still, no one talked about it in the house because of Emmett’s disapproval.
Willow would have loved to have gone, too. She kept thinking of Diamond Creek; wished things back to how they were then.
That afternoon, all the little kids arrived for the recital in a ball of frenzied energy.
They had matching outfits—red T-shirts and black leggings.
The girls had gelled their ponytails back and sprayed their hair with glitter.
Albie, the boy of the group, had combed his in a side parting and slicked his bangs to the side.
The excitement was palpable as they warmed up in the studio ready to perform, each of them getting distracted by their parents peering in the window and forgetting their steps so they could wave.
Martha was on the piano; she’d learned to play Taylor Swift for the occasion.
One girl started crying she was so nervous, and Willow had to calm her down with her own breathing routine.
“It’s all okay as soon as you’re on stage, I promise,” she said to the girl with the tearstained cheeks, remembering for a moment what pre-performance nerves were like.
The light-headedness of apprehension combined with an almost heady thrill of what was to come, hearing the audience take their seats, and the orchestra warming up over the backstage Tannoy.
She felt a little flutter in her heart at the idea of being back on stage herself.
She gave her mom the nod to open the door and parents started to file inside. Brodie and Maeve were head of the queue. Willow kept her eyes averted, she hadn’t spoken to him since the football game.
All the kids were shivering with pent-up adrenaline in a little group at the back corner with Willow.
Ren was the last inside and closed the door behind her, she’d locked up The Silver Pantry for twenty minutes to watch. Willow glanced around for her dad but couldn’t see him.
Martha started to play and Willow talked to her students in a low voice. “You look up, you smile and if you forget anything you just carry on, okay?”
They nodded like wide-eyed ducklings.
“Right. Take your places.” They trotted off. “And smile,” she whispered after them as they all looked terrified.
She suddenly felt her own nerves start to skyrocket, willing them to do well as she crept around to the front of the room to watch. She imagined Dylan at the track, feeling exactly the same about Thunder, especially with Noah there watching.
But the kids didn’t let her down; they did amazingly.
As soon as the routine began, they were all smiles for their proud, doting parents, glossing over any hiccups and carrying on like professionals, loving it on stage, hair shimmering under the lights, thriving as they relaxed into the steps.
All of them, all the way through, beaming with their radiant, effervescent grins.
Willow watched them, wondering suddenly if dancing still gave her that joy.
It had once, but did it still? She couldn’t imagine training again at the lengths that she had.
But she knew that once she was back in New York, she would slip into the routine and it would feel natural again.
It had been relaxing to have that break from herself, though.
And the constant war inside her to try and be better that stretched on to infinity.
She watched the kids and saw them trying so hard.
Each time it went wrong, she itched to go on and do it herself, show them, help them.
She felt the pull of the music, remembered then the joy of performing, the moment the nerves fell away and the world became the stage.
When it was over, and they were all jumping up and down hugging each other and bowing to the audience, she almost envied them that thrill of having done it, having been there in the spotlight.
Of course, she got her own applause, but it didn’t feel earned.
It was the kids who had done their best and shone.
After all the bows and shouts of encore, Willow was immediately accosted by all her tiny dancers, each of them jostling for pole position, wanting to tell her their every feeling minute by minute.
She listened and nodded and told them they were all superstars and then they rushed off to say all the same things to their parents.
People came over to congratulate Willow as she made her way outside. Ren had opened up The Silver Pantry again and she and Martha were giving out cupcakes to all the little performers.
Logan had driven in and strolled over to where Brodie was standing. He was dressed for polo, a thick jacket on over his kit because the temperature had dropped. It was then she realized Brodie was dressed for practice as well, and Logan was obviously picking him up.
She watched her dad come out the house to see them. Watched them point to the clouds and obviously talk about the weather for the game.
She thought how her dad had been in the house that whole time but hadn’t come to watch the recital.
Parents were heading back to their cars with their kids, and on their way they came over to thank Willow for all her hard work and tell her how much they enjoyed the show. She smiled back and said it had been her pleasure, but all the while her attention kept going back to her dad and her brothers.
Then Martha came out of The Silver Pantry and called for Emmett to give her a hand. He strolled over, leaving the boys where they were.
Brodie called Willow’s name. She ignored him and made her way over to the house.
Brodie jogged over. “What’s up with you?”
She didn’t reply, wasn’t going to go through it all again.
“This still about your boyfriend?” he teased.
Willow stopped walking and snapped, “He’s not my boyfriend!”
Brodie raised a brow. “I should hope not.”
Logan strolled over. “What’s going on?” he asked, intrigued by what was clearly less good-humored chat than the pair normally had.
Brodie shrugged. “Willow’s flipping out about Hawkins.”
“I’m not flipping out,” she shot back, hands on her hips. “I’m just fed up with you and the way you treat him. All of you.”
Logan raised his hands in defense. “Hey, I’ve barely even seen the guy!”
“Yeah, and if you did, you’d cross the street to avoid him.”
“Willow—” Logan frowned “—last time I spoke to a Hawkins, I was paying them a heck of a lot of money to save this place.”
“Yeah, yeah.” She waved his words away. “It’s easy to send money, Logan.
” His brows rose at the comment. “Same as it’s easy to judge someone on who they were at sixteen.
” She glowered at Brodie, who just looked mockingly back.
She sighed. “Imagine if you were all judged on who you were back then. Brodie, you’d just be forever the idiot on stage.
Logan, you never talked about anything but money.
Noah hid away in a trailer. And who knows about Ethan!
Aren’t people allowed to move on and change? ”
She swept her hair away, which had fallen annoyingly over her eyes the more impassioned she got.
She saw the vague amusement disappear from both her brothers’ faces.
“People change,” she went on, exasperated.
“They aren’t always who you think they are.
And you lot—” she waved her hand up and down encompassing them both “—Dad gave you all a second chance. But you’re all so full of it you wouldn’t ever do the same for someone else.
You’re parents now—or almost—you need to do better, be better. We’re not children anymore.”
Brodie’s jaw tightened.
Logan cleared his throat and said, “Willow, I’m not totally sure what’s going on, but if this is somehow to do with us leaving to join the band, we’ve said we’re sorry.”
She frowned at him in surprise. “No, you haven’t.”
Logan was about to reply but then Noah drove in. Willow could feel the blood pumping in her head, her brain trying to catch up with everything that had been said. She could see Logan mulling it all over.
Noah got out the car, ambled over, clearly aware of the tension. “What’s the problem here?”
Brodie narrowed his eyes and said, “Willow wants us all to apologize for leaving with the band.”
Noah frowned, bemused. “Seriously?”
“No, I don’t want an apology!” Willow sighed frustratedly—how were they now talking about this? “I just want you to—I don’t know—acknowledge the mess you left behind. The mess you left for me to clear up!”
There was an awkward pause. Logan seemed momentarily caught off-guard, Brodie had put his hands in his pockets and was suddenly fascinated by the dry earth at their feet. Noah raised his brows as if he’d unwittingly walked into a war zone.
“Forget about it.” Willow shook her head, tired suddenly by it all. She turned to Noah and said, “How did Thunder do?”
“She came last.”
Willow frowned. “Last?”
Brodie scoffed. “Maybe your boyfriend’s not so perfect after all.”