Chapter 22 #2
“I thought so, yes. That’s why I want you to stay. We could have all night together. And in the morning, I’ll make you breakfast in bed.”
“And if things were different, I’d be all in for that. But I agreed to help Harry Goodwin and work a shift tomorrow morning and I need to be ready for that and…”
“And?” he said when she trailed off.
Sighing, she stood up and turned around to explain. “And I’m leaving on Monday, Peter. You know that. If I stay any longer, it’s just going to make it harder to go.”
“Because you don’t want to go,” he said. “Which means you should stay.”
“If I stay here, you know neither of us will get any sleep. It’s not fair for me to volunteer to help Harry with his staffing crisis and then turn up barely able to do the job because I was up all night.”
“I promise I’ll let you sleep.” He pantomimed a yawn. “See, I’m pretty tired myself. Let’s get back under the covers and close our eyes.”
Gaby couldn’t help laughing at his antics. “You know that’s not what would happen.”
“Please don’t go, Gaby,” he said, sitting up suddenly and with a look on his face that caught at her heart. “I finally found you again after all these years and it’s been the most amazing time I’ve ever had. Please, don’t go.”
The shocking honesty of his words hit home. She sighed, hating this and hating more the fact that she’d known this was exactly what would happen from the moment she’d agreed to come here.
“Peter, even if I stay and we spend the rest of the night together and I somehow muddle my way through my shift tomorrow, I’m still leaving on Monday.”
“You don’t have to leave. You could just stay here.”
She frowned. “What are you talking about?”
“You could just stay. Here. In Hamblehurst.”
Her frown only deepened. “No, Peter, I couldn’t do that and you know it. I start a contract on a cruise ship on Monday. They’re depending on me. I can’t just not turn up.”
“But couldn’t you just tell them you can’t make it?”
Frustration was quickly turning into anger and she had to battle to keep a lid on it.
“No, Peter, I can’t just tell them I can’t make it. I’m a professional. My entire career is built on being excellent at my job and completely reliable. I won’t risk that reputation. What would happen if you told your headmaster at school that you just couldn’t make it into work?”
She couldn’t resist making air quotes with that last part, because his casual suggestion had ticked her off so much.
At least he seemed to be thinking about what she’d said, because he looked sheepish now. “You’re right, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. It was a stupid suggestion and insulting, too. I just… I just wish you didn’t have to go, that’s all.”
She wanted to rescue this before their lovely time together ended in angry disaster, because that would be a real pity.
“We both knew I was leaving, Peter. We said this was just… a walk down memory lane together. Those were your words. Let’s not ruin what we just shared by falling out over something silly. Please?”
Peter ran a hand through his hair and nodded. As he got out of bed and pulled on some clothes, he gave her an apologetic look.
“You’re right. I’m sorry, Gaby. I don’t want to ruin this and I definitely don’t want us to fall out. I’m sorry for being flippant and suggesting you could just quit your job because I asked you to. That wasn’t fair. Forgive me?”
She smiled. “Of course.”
“It’s just that this time we’ve spent together has meant so much to me. I’d forgotten how good we were together. Being with you again and being with you tonight…” He gestured vaguely towards his bed before looking back at her. “I loved every moment. I just wish it didn’t have to end.”
The look he gave her kept her pinned in place for a long beat and her heart hammered inside her chest as she realised something profound.
She wished it didn’t have to end, either.
More than that, the idea of walking away and leaving Peter behind actually made her chest squeeze.
In her life, she’d enjoyed many affairs with wonderful men and she’d always known those affairs would eventually end. Parting was never easy. But it had never before felt this hard.
She felt like she might shatter the minute she stepped through the door.
But you won’t shatter. You can’t shatter. You have an amazing job waiting for you aboard a beautiful cruise liner and many months of exciting travel and adventures ahead.
And even if you didn’t have any of that, you couldn’t stay here anyway… because you’re not made for a life laying down roots with one man.
That was the truth Gaby knew in her heart. She wasn’t built for commitment. For permanence. For home sweet home.
She was built for moving, always moving, always searching for the next destination, always chasing the next adventure.
That’s who she was. This brief interlude with Peter hadn’t changed that.
Their time together had been wonderful. More than wonderful. She’d loved every second of it, and the day they’d just spent together, and the night spent in bed, were unforgettable.
But now it was over. The awkward and temper-filled exchange they’d just had was proof of that.
“I’m sorry I have to go,” she said and meant it. “I’ve loved being with you again, Peter. I’m glad we had this time together.”
Those words sounded more final than she’d intended. Peter blinked and dropped his gaze and she saw the pain in his eyes as he turned away.
“I’d offer to drive you back to your aunt’s house, but I drank too much wine earlier to risk it,” he said and picked up his phone. “I’ll call you a taxi, if that’s okay?”
“Thanks.”
By the time she’d pulled on her shoes and freshened up in the bathroom, the taxi had arrived.
She’d barely had time to look around inside Peter’s flat, which was smart and simply decorated and obviously the home of a single man.
The fact she was leaving after such a brief visit and without even familiarising herself with his home after sharing his bed felt suddenly very wrong.
But it was too late now. She said she was going and the taxi was waiting.
Peter walked her downstairs to the main entrance of the small apartment building and out to where the taxi waited on the road.
“Can we see each other again before you leave on Monday?” Peter asked.
“I, uh, I think I’ll be busy with my aunt tomorrow after I work the hotel shift,” she said. After their fraught conversation in his bedroom, maybe it was best just to say goodbye right now. “I’d like to spend my last evening here with her. I’m sure you understand.”
“Of course, that makes perfect sense,” he said and gave a smile that was obviously forced. “So, I guess this is goodbye.”
It hurt far more to hear him say that than it should have. She was the one who wanted this to be over.
“I’ve loved seeing you again, Peter. I really mean that. And tonight was very special.”
“It really was.”
He held her gaze, his eyes fathomless depths she wished she could fall into it. To put an end to the madness, she stepped closer and kissed him.
The kiss was soft and chaste, an unmistakable kiss goodbye.
“Goodbye, Peter.”
“Goodbye, Gaby.” He took her hand and squeezed it before lifting it to his lips and pressing a kiss against her fingers, making her heart flip-flop all over again. “You have my number. Promise to keep in touch?”
“I promise.”
Before her resolve crumbled completely, she gave him a bright smile and climbed into the taxi. Peter waved as it pulled away and she waved back and somehow kept the smile on her face as he disappeared from view and the taxi sped away.
Her heart clenched all the way home as she fought against the tears that threatened to overwhelm her.
You wanted to leave. You had to leave. There’s no other choice.
“It’s for the best,” she murmured to herself as the taxi whisked her off into the darkness.