Chapter 26
Gaby closed the door, her hands shaking so badly and her heart racing so madly she thought she might pass out.
What. Had. Just. Happened?
Peter had told her he loved her, that’s what had just happened.
And she’d replied by thanking him—thanking him!—and then shoving him out the door.
She closed her eyes and rested her head against the door, wishing she could’ve responded differently, done something that hadn’t made her look… like a complete and utter moron.
“I take it Peter has gone?”
Gaby turned and saw her Aunt Jill coming out of her temporary downstairs bedroom. “Yes, he just left.”
“Hmm. And judging from the look on your face, things didn’t go particularly well?”
“He… told me he loved me.”
Gaby had no idea why she was telling her aunt this, when she’d scarcely processed it herself yet.
Jill’s eyebrows lifted. “I see. Well, it sounds like you need a drink. I’ll fetch the wine.”
Like a zombie, Gaby followed her aunt into the kitchen. Jill lifted glasses from the cupboard and removed a bottle of white wine from the fridge. Glasses filled, she gestured for Gaby to carry them through.
Still in zombie mode, she did just that, sinking into the sofa in the living room and helping herself to a long, greedy gulp of wine.
“So,” Jill said when she got comfortable in her armchair. “Why don’t you tell your Auntie Jill all about it?”
The funny remark punched through Gaby’s still stunned reaction to Peter’s parting words, and she coughed out a laugh as wine caught in her throat.
“I don’t even know where to begin,” Gaby said. “I’m too shocked to process it.”
“That can’t possibly be true. Surely you already knew the boy was crazy about you? Why else would he ask to spend all this time with you?”
“For old times’ sakes.”
“I don’t believe that any more than you do. And I certainly don’t believe that’s the reason you were spending time with him either. You have feelings for him, rather strong ones, or you wouldn’t have given up so much of your time here to be with him.”
“Of course I have feelings for him. He was my first love. I’d have to be heartless to no longer have any feelings for the first guy I ever fell for. But he said he’s in love with me now.”
“And are you in love with him now?”
“No! I don’t know! Yes! Okay I said it. I’m in love with him too. Are you happy now?”
Flustered, Gaby drank more wine and scowled. The truth of what she’d just said and what she’d just admitted wasn’t as surprising as she thought it should be. There was a lesson in that, not that she was ready for it yet.
“Feel better for getting that out of your system?” Jill asked, an amused smile on her lips.
“No. Not even a little bit.”
Jill chuckled. “Well, at least it’s out there now. He loves you. You love him. And now the question is what are you going to do about it?”
“There’s nothing I can do, Aunt Jill. I’m leaving tomorrow. I have a job waiting for me.”
“You could pull out of the contract.”
Gaby was appalled. “I would never let an employer down at the last minute.”
“I seem to recall that the only reason you’ve been able to stay here these past couple of weeks is because an employer let you down and rescinded their job offer mere days before you were supposed to start.”
“Yes, because their conference centre caught on fire! They had a good reason.”
Jill shrugged, as if she didn’t entirely agree.
“And anyway,” Gaby continued, “if I’d pressed things with my employment agency, they would’ve found me another job somewhere else, but I didn’t because I wanted to take the opportunity to spend more time with you.
But the solid reputation I have with the agencies I work with means they would’ve found something else for me straight away if I’d asked.
And that’s because I’m reliable and dependable and do an excellent job.
I’ve built a great reputation that helps me pick and choose where I want to go.
I didn’t get that reputation by being flighty and pulling out of contracts for personal reasons. ”
“I understand all that. I certainly won’t criticise you for having a solid work ethic and forging a stellar reputation for dependability and excellence, a reputation that has taken you all over the world.
All I’m saying is that perhaps you also need to consider whether the choices you’re now making are for the right reasons. ”
Gaby frowned, wondering what her aunt was talking about. “I don’t know what you mean.”
“What I mean is that Peter put himself out there and laid his heart on the line and told you the truth about how he feels. And he did it even though he knows you’re leaving. He did it because he wanted you to know and presumably because he hopes it might change your mind about the future.”
“I already know that, Aunt Jill. Last night after we…” She paused, realising what she was about to say.
Gaby glanced at her aunt, feeling embarrassed.
“Oh, for goodness’ sake, Gaby, we’re both grown women. You and Peter slept together, right?”
Gaby blushed. “Yes.”
Jill rolled her eyes. “Good for you. No wonder you’re addled after his visit just now. So, you were about to tell me what happened afterwards.”
“He asked me to stay. Not as in, stay the night. Stay as in, stay here in Hamblehurst for… well, I don’t know for how long.”
“If I had to hazard a guess, I’d say he meant stay forever.”
Gaby let out a gasp. “Now that really is stretching the imagination too far, Aunt Jill.”
“Really?”
Gaby didn’t reply, just sipped her wine.
She didn’t know why she was still playing down what Peter had said and what he’d confessed to her.
He’d already admitted never loving another woman the way he’d loved her.
During the time they’d spent together yesterday, he’d made the intensity of his feelings clear.
When they’d looked up at the stars on Blackberry Hill and then shared that scorching kiss, she’d been under no illusions about what he felt for her… or what she felt for him.
When she’d gone home with him and gone to bed with him, it was because she couldn’t keep her feelings or desire in check any more than he could.
And it wasn’t just about lust. It wasn’t just about remembering that tender teenage summer they’d spent together. Yes, that was part of it, a big part of it.
But being together now, and sleeping together now, was about how they felt for each other now.
And what she felt for Peter now was totally overwhelming. Which was why she couldn’t handle it and had no idea what to do about it.
“Look,” Gaby said, trying to straighten out the thoughts inside her head.
“I’m sure Peter was sincere in what he said.
When he asked me to stay, I know he meant every word.
And if we lived in a romantic fantasy world, maybe that’s how this would end, with the two of us together forever.
But this isn’t a fantasy world, Aunt Jill.
Peter and I live very different lives. He’s a teacher who’s completely committed to his school and completely settled here in Hamblehurst with his family all around him.
But I work all over the world and move from place to place every few months and have never wanted to settle down anywhere.
No matter what Peter and I might feel about each other, we can’t change who we are or what we do. ”
Jill listened to all this in silence and sipped her wine. “It’s certainly a tough circle to square, especially if neither of you want to make any changes.”
“Exactly.”
“And of course, even if one or both of you did make changes in order to be together and find out whether you have a future, there’s no guarantee that it will work out.”
“Exactly!”
“And if there’s a chance it might not work out, then why take the risk and upend the life you already have?”
“You’re explaining it better than I could. See, I knew you’d understand, Aunt Jill. Thanks, this has helped a lot.”
Gaby moved to get up from the sofa, but Jill waved a hand.
“Sit back down, young lady. I’m not finished yet.”
Of course she wasn’t. Gaby hadn’t imagined for a moment that she was. The look on her aunt’s face told her she might not like what she said next.
“I’m going to say a few things I’ve never felt the need to say until now,” Jill said.
“Before I say them, let me say this first. You’ve built a wonderful life for yourself, Gaby.
When you decided all those years ago that you wanted to travel and live all over the world, you meant it.
And you made it happen. I’m constantly in awe of the fantastic life you live on your own terms.”
Gaby bit back on the emotion she felt at her aunt’s words. “Thank you.”
“I’m not telling you anything you don’t already know.
I’m proud of you. I’m proud of your hard work, and your commitment to and love for your career.
I’m proud of the woman you’ve grown into.
I’m privileged to have a niece who’d drop everything to come and help me.
And I’m proud to know how you honour your commitments and go the extra mile to lend a hand when it’s needed.
What you’ve done for me these past couple of weeks is testament to that, and so too is the help you’ve given to the Goodwin family when you volunteered to assist with their staffing emergency. ”
“I was glad to help.”
“I know that. And I just want to make sure you understand how much I love you and respect you before I say the next part.”
“That sounds ominous.”
Jill set her wine glass aside and gave her a serious look.
“You built your life, a life of travel and adventure, because it’s what you wanted, that goes without saying.
But I’ve always believed there was something deeper and darker beneath it, too.
Your desire to keep moving on from place to place, never wanting to settle anywhere, is absolutely fine if that genuinely is your decision and your honest preference. But I’m not sure it is.”
“What are you talking about?” Gaby asked, completely baffled.