Chapter Nineteen Katy
Chapter Nineteen
Katy
Katy was having the perfect first day with her new pal Tanya. She immediately fell in love with Tanya’s warm, bubbly nature, which was just as happily infectious as her own.
In the morning, the pair had spoken in depth about the essentials women needed to know when dating someone, from manners and values to job prospects and education.
They then targeted more superficial elements, such as general attractiveness, height and various generic pros and cons.
They even considered penis size, which prompted Katy to overshare her disappointing micro-penis experience after her ex had promised her Big Foot’s dick.
Together, the women created a list and headed out to the city’s gyms and cafés, asking the public what they would like to know when considering a potential partner. At around one o’clock, they had just entered a small coffee shop uptown for a rest and to regroup.
As Tanya headed to the counter to order them both a drink, Katy pulled out her phone. A message appeared on her screen.
Unknown: I know what you did!
Immediately, Katy’s heart began pounding. She glanced at the people around her. Everyone seemed to be going about their business, drinking overpriced coffee and chatting, or working on laptops. What the fuck? She quickly took a screenshot of the text and forwarded it to the group chat.
Katy: I have just got this from an unknown number??
Zola typing . . .
Ella: What did you do? X
Zola: It will be a scam, babe. Don’t stress xx
Katy: You serious, Ella???
Zola: It will be a scam. No one knows about the other thing. Don’t worry fs xx
Tanya returned to the table and sat down with a matcha for Katy and a ginger shot for herself.
‘We did great work today.’ She grinned.
‘Yeah! Everyone was so forthcoming! I feel like we got loads of really useful information out of them.’ Katy sipped on her matcha, still feeling unsettled.
‘Aren’t they in Glasgow?’ Tanya asked.
‘Hmm? What? I’m sorry.’ Katy was caught up rereading the strange message.
‘Aren’t people forthcoming in Glasgow? When you stop them in the street for info?’
Katy rolled her eyes, shaking her head. ‘Oh my God, no! Not on the street anyway. We have to target them at gyms or at clubs. On the street they usually ignore us, or creepy guys want to try out their dodgy pick-up lines, or they tell us to bolt!’
Tanya burst out laughing, causing her bright orange hair to bounce up and down. ‘Bolt! That’s hilarious.’
Katy grinned, thinking about home – the patter, the fresh cool air – and for the first time, she began to miss it.
‘So, let’s discuss today’s findings.’ Tanya pulled her notebook out. ‘Religion is one of the front-runners we didn’t anticipate.’
‘Yeah, it makes sense. In Glasgow, you’re usually Celtic or Rangers, but over here, my God, I hadn’t heard of half of their religious inclinations.’
‘That’s so weird. I haven’t heard of your Scottish ones! But I do think that religion should be included. There’s no point in dating someone if you would never consider them as a long-term prospect. We want our American girls to find the one!’
Katy sat up, refreshing her phone – no new messages. Thank fuck.
‘I agree! OK, what else should we include?’ Katy asked, feeling her emotions settle down a little.
‘Well, by way of contrast, penis size wasn’t mentioned.’ Tanya side-eyed Katy. ‘I think we should leave it out.’
‘No way!’ Katy groaned. ‘It’s so important!’
Tanya took a sip of her shot in thought. ‘OK, hear me out. Yes, it’s important, but isn’t it a nice surprise too? You get to look forward to it. All that messaging, flirting, anticipation, then bam! The wiener is out!’
‘Wiener!’ Katy giggled. ‘But when it’s small, it’s really not a small disappointment.’
Tanya hummed. ‘Honestly, I disagree. I’ve always found the men with ones on the smaller side are better in other ways.’ She winked. ‘They sure know how to make up for it.’
Katy blushed, then agreed reluctantly. ‘Fine, maybe penis size is too rude for Americans.’
Tanya’s jaw dropped. ‘Girl, we are not scared to talk about sex. But if a counter app launches and it decides to rate us women by our vaginas, then I’m screwed!’
Katy’s face squirmed. ‘Fuck, me too!’ She giggled. ‘Can you imagine, though? There would be outrage! I have way too much meat-to-skin ratio!’
‘Exactly, right? Let’s keep this new app in the headlines for all the right reasons. It’s informative, safe, easy to use – and it’s saving us a lot of freaking time by stopping us making bad mistakes,’ Tanya said.
‘Yep, I sure wish it was available before I came to New York,’ Katy muttered under her breath.
‘Oh, spill! Bad Tinder date? Or hook-up?’ Tanya sat up, eyes widening.
Katy shook her head. ‘Just a total time-waster. OK, so, where are we headed next?’
Tanya picked up her phone and scanned down the list. ‘Times Square! Just outside the office. There’s a huge footfall, especially at lunch.’
‘Great!’
Katy and Tanya finished their drinks and headed back towards the office. They’d spend the rest of their day interviewing women about what was important to them in online dating.
*
That evening, Katy arrived home to find Ella and Zola sprawled out on the sofa, chatting while rewatching another episode of Gossip Girl.
‘Hey! You’ve been working hard!’ Zola called out as Katy’s tired face appeared.
‘How was your day?’ Ella asked, turning down the TV.
‘Yeah, it was fine. Tanya’s lovely,’ Katy replied, sitting beside her friends.
‘No more messages?’ Zola asked, noticing Katy’s usually bright light was dimmed.
Katy shook her head. ‘What if someone does know?’ Even voicing the possibility out loud made her panic.
‘No one knows, Katy. You’re being a paranoid android.’ Zola shoved Katy to loosen up.
‘I’ve had a million similar emails, Katy.
I have a few saying they’ve caught me watching hardcore porn, and if I don’t pay immediately, then they’ll send my family the weird genre I watch!
It’s crazy. Because we all know I don’t watch that shit.
’ Ella flicked back her hair. ‘It’s a stupid scam, babe,’ she reiterated, trying her hardest to make her friend feel better.
‘But they didn’t ask for money. It literally just said “I know what you did!”’
Zola shook her head. ‘Babe, you’ve done a lot of things. You don’t know if it has anything to do with Travis. Look, we have a big shoot tomorrow. Ella’s picked up our outfits. Let’s have a chill night, then go and smash the interview and put that two-timing prick behind us. You’re overthinking!’
Katy huffed, leaning into Ella for a hug.
‘How was your day with Fee?’ she asked eventually.
Ella pushed back Katy’s hair. ‘Honestly, she’s lovely. She’s kind of impossible not to like, and she really stuck up for me with Britney, who is a complete bitch, by the way.’
Katy sat up. ‘How come?’
Zola rolled her eyes. ‘Wait till you hear this!’
Ella darted up. ‘Grab the laptop! I want to show her the finished logo too!’
For the next few hours, the girls sat around, recounting their days to one another. Surrounded by takeout pasta and cookies, with the breathtaking view of the city’s lights beyond the apartment’s huge windows, they gossiped and vented, enjoying a chill night in New York.