Chapter Twenty-One Ella
Chapter Twenty-One
Ella
By eleven, the three of us were sat in front of journalist Tia Smalls, dressed to the nines in similar sexy office-style outfits.
Despite our outward poise, my mind kept drifting back to the morning’s chaos.
Curtis’s early morning confession of infidelity seemed unbelievable.
I kept glancing at Zola, who, surprisingly, remained composed, focused and radiant.
Usually, she wore hardly any makeup – her skin glowed naturally – but today, with a full face, she looked every bit the supermodel.
Was it possible she felt relieved by Curtis’s betrayal?
I wondered. They had been together for years.
I’d never known Zola in her single days.
Zola without Curtis was sort of like an Ant without Dec, Richard without Judy.
Joe Exotic without Carole Baskin, even. But quietly, I’d always wondered if he held her back.
Without him, I could only imagine the things she might accomplish.
‘OK, ladies, I’ll record this for my notes,’ Tia said, putting her phone on the table. ‘So, Ella, Zola, Katy?’ she began, looking at each of us in turn.
‘Yes,’ I confirmed, smiling at my friends.
‘Perfect. Let’s start with finding out why you three are here in New York,’ Tia said, eyeing Katy, who was eager to reply.
‘Well, we were invited, Tia, by the lovely Mr Jimmy Link of Flirtify to fly across the Atlantic and help rid the American dating scene of toxic men!’
Tia laughed. ‘That’s quite the statement! So, you’re creating an app for women. Can you tell us about it?’ She turned to Zola.
‘Sure,’ Zola said, immediately switching to an assertive tone.
‘We are creating something totally new and exciting here at Flirtify, a handy app to help women research men before they date them. There is so much easy access to dating so many different people nowadays, and while finding love is important – and fun, – there are also many safety issues to consider. We want to advise women on who – and what – to look out for.’
Tia leaned in. ‘How are you doing that?’ She glanced at me while jotting down notes.
‘That’s what you will have to wait to find out!’ I smiled, remembering Jimmy’s instructions not to give too much away.
She smirked. ‘Why you three, though? Because of The Dicktionary Club project you have at home? Or have our American men broken your hearts already?’
The three of us glanced at one another, and Katy piped up. ‘Unfortunately, yes, I have had my heart broken by one American so far. And what I will say is, men are men – Scottish or American. They’re all liars and cheats!’
Tia looked surprised. I nudged Katy to rein it in.
‘We’re making this app because we believe good guys do exist, and . . .’ I trailed off.
‘Do we?’ Zola shot back, almost drawing the eyes off me for attempting that sentence.
I laughed, batting her remark off as a joke while darting her a shut-your-face kind of look.
‘Sorry to be outspoken, but I’m not sure there are so many good – single – men out there anymore! I prefer sticking to the safety aspect of the campaign,’ she snapped.
‘And that’s a really great element to mention too.’ I forced a grin, feeling panicked with how badly this was going.
Tia blinked. ‘So, you’re Zola?’ She glanced at me. ‘You’re engaged?’
I shook my head. My heart ached for Zola.
‘That’s me.’ Zola flicked her hair. ‘And yeah, I stick by it. I’m not sure good men exist.’
There was a moment of awkwardly heavy silence at the table.
‘But like I said, that’s what we aim to find out!’ I added, sticking up my thumb in a corny bid for positivity.
‘Yeah, sure. OK then,’ Tia agreed, still slightly unnerved. ‘I know you have made The Dicktionary Club website in the UK. Do you have a new name for the app? Or are you sticking with The D Club?’ she asked, giggling a little nervously at the name.
‘Stars and Swipes,’ we said in unison. At least we agreed on something, I thought.
‘Great! Stars and Swipes hits on Thanksgiving eve. I’ll check it out!’ Tia grinned, though I had my doubts.
She reached for her phone and pressed to stop recording.
‘Thank you, ladies. If you all smile, Jeff will take some publicity shots for the article.’
We leaned in together, smiling and laughing as bright camera flashes flickered in the office. I wondered if Philip would see the article and if he’d reach out. In anticipation of his eyes on me, I sat up straight and gave my best smile.
‘What the hell was that?’ I mumbled through my teeth, still posing.
Zola grinned back. ‘Pure and utter honesty.’
*
Later that day, I was reading the findings from Katy’s street-survey trip with Tanya.
The notes showed that American women cared much more about a man’s salary and ambition than Scottish women, as well as about religion and emotional intelligence.
The drug-dealing, Turkey-toothed man-child racing down Strathy Park in a souped-up Golf didn’t seem to have the same appeal as he did back home, interestingly enough.
Zola and Katy stumbled into the office around five and slumped down at their desks.
‘I need a drink,’ Zola stated.
‘Me too,’ Katy agreed. Both of them immediately glanced at me to agree.
I smiled. ‘How’s it going?’
‘Urgh, Ethan still hates me, so he doesn’t talk, and now Darren’s off to have a stupid baby, so it’s been a long few hours!’ Zola groaned.
‘Well, I’ve had a great afternoon. We rounded up some students and we’re paying them to write reviews on men.
’ Katy grinned. ‘Hey, have you heard anything more from Curtis?’ He had been the elephant in the room since we arrived at Flirtify that morning, but there were too many people around to delve into the situation without risking a total breakdown, given how fired up Zola was during the publicity interview.
Zola rubbed her face. ‘I archived him. I had screeds of apology messages pouring in all afternoon, and Ethan doesn’t like noise, so I put him into a folder so I wouldn’t get distracted.’
I gulped. ‘That’s probably a good idea.’
‘Have you heard from Philip, Ella?’ Katy asked softly.
‘Nope, not a thing.’ I hummed. I still wondered if he was waiting for me to reach out.
After all, I was the one who caused the fight, resurrecting The Dicktionary Club after swearing to him it was gone.
But in the past couple of days, I’d begun thinking that the time apart would do us a favour, and maybe he’d actually be proud of the work and friendships I was making over here.
‘Look, Ella, I have to tell you something Curtis said on the phone today.’
Zola sounded serious. I felt nervous at her tone and sat up. ‘Yeah . . .’
‘He mentioned that Philip has a new girlfriend and that he’s parading about town with her. I was so caught up in what he had just told me about himself that I didn’t really take it in. But I’ve checked it out, and there are lots of pictures online of the two of them just in the past few days.’
I felt acid rise up my throat. I was numb. I wanted to talk, to ask questions, but I felt static. I didn’t want to believe a word she was telling me.
Why would Philip do this to me? Who was she, and what did she have that I didn’t? I hadn’t seen him in eight days. How, I wondered, can he possibly move on in eight fucking days?
‘I didn’t want to say before the interview,’ Zola continued, sounding remorseful.
‘But we didn’t want you to find out online either,’ Katy said.
‘You knew too?’ I felt a stab of bitter resentment. Why had they both been discussing this and not told me?
‘Only because Zola didn’t know when to tell you or if you should know,’ Katy said, babbling as she defended herself.
‘Or if I should know?’ I repeated, completely gobsmacked that they had considered keeping this huge, life-changing secret from me.
Zola shook her head. ‘We didn’t know what to do! You’ve been coping really well with the breakup. You’re out running, you’re focused on work. I didn’t want to upset you.’
I huffed in indignation, holding my head, feeling a headache immediately crush into my temples. ‘Why do you think that is, Zo?’
A silence fell between us.
‘I keep busy constantly, so I don’t start to think that I’ve made a horrible mistake coming here in the first place. Philip was the first guy I finally let in after what I’d been through. He helped me with Andrea, he was kind and . . .’
‘And controlling!’ Zola blurted. ‘If he loved you properly, he would have supported this project. But he only cares about himself, Ella, like them all. They’re all genetically engineered to be selfish fuckers!’
I was shaking. I was angry, fuming at everyone. Zola, Katy and Philip. I shouldn’t ever have left, I thought.
‘At least you know now, Ella. And you know you made the right choice coming here,’ Katy said so quietly I almost didn’t hear.
‘Did I?’ I replied just as softly, trying to take this in. I felt broken, humiliated. ‘You two go and get food or whatever. I’ll stay on in the office.’ I shook myself, feeling isolated and vulnerable. ‘I need time to think.’
‘Ella . . .’ Zola dropped her shoulders in defeat. ‘C’mon, let’s go home. We can watch a movie, get cosy and cuddle in if you don’t fancy a drink.’
I shook my head, feeling my bottom lip tremble.
I bit it and cleared my throat. ‘I’m fine.
I just don’t like secrets. And I didn’t expect this from Philip.
’ I felt my lungs exhale a deep breath. ‘Are you one hundred per cent sure?’ I asked, feeling as if something malignant was crawling under my skin.
‘We’re sure,’ Zola replied. ‘And yeah, no more secrets, OK? We honestly just thought it was for the best.’
I nodded, but I was zoning out. I couldn’t make any sense of this new reality. Why had he done this?
‘We shouldn’t be arguing with each other, you know. It’s Philip and Curtis who have caused this, and look at us, bickering for no reason,’ Katy stated.
Even as I recognised Katy’s point, I still felt that poisonous sting of betrayal – my friends had kept something from me, and I couldn’t shake the feeling of being on the outside.
‘See you at home?’ Zola replied.
I managed a smile, knowing Zola’s pain matched my own more than she would ever let on.
‘Yeah, see you in a wee while. And please, unpack your case, Katy,’ I added. ‘It’s giving me the boke how you’re living!’
‘What?’ She grinned, backing out the door. ‘Can’t hear you!’ she called down the corridor, singing La, la, la until I heard the lift door shut.
*
Once they left, I slumped forward, forehead on the desk, letting exhaustion and pain wash over me.
As the office grew quiet, my thoughts spiralled.
Was he with someone else before I left? Maybe that was why it was so easy for him to walk away?
Was this new girlfriend who he was on those constant calls with?
But surely he wouldn’t be so shameless? My head was spinning with unanswered questions until a loud knock on the door broke me from my thoughts.
‘Normally I’m the last man standing.’ Jimmy hovered in the doorway, his jacket draped casually over his arm.
‘Not tonight,’ I snapped back, reluctantly raising my head.
‘Are you all right?’ His voice sounded concerned, and I couldn’t help but cringe at what he must have thought of me. First, I screamed in the office and now I was face-planting my desk. Great.
‘Hmm?’ I questioned. ‘Oh, yeah. This is how I think my best thoughts.’ I shrugged my dramatic behaviour off casually, knowing how ridiculous I must have looked.
‘Right.’ He grinned. ‘Because you have a Post-it stuck to your forehead.’
I rubbed my throbbing head, making the bright yellow sticky note fall to the desk. ‘Why are you so late?’ I asked, keen to change the subject.
He let out a puff like he couldn’t be bothered to even discuss it. ‘I was going over some numbers with Travis. And . . . I got the email about your article with Tia. It was very . . . insightful,’ he concluded tactfully.
‘Really? Which part?’ I questioned, holding my head up high.
Jimmy’s face twisted. He took another step further into my office and whispered, ‘Do you really think all men are cheats and liars? Or is that a PR angle?’ He seemed genuinely interested in my opinion.
‘That was Zola that said that.’ I smirked, remembering how bolshy she’d been.
‘And what do you think? Honestly.’
‘Honestly?’ I paused. ‘Then . . . yeah. I think Zola’s right. Men are all selfish, blood-sucking bastards who take and take, then when something better comes along, they vanish.’
Jimmy’s eyes widened as if I had just dropped a fat brown one in the middle of the office floor.
‘Wow, Ella! Don’t hold back.’ He laughed. ‘But you don’t think that, not really? Not all men?’
I thought back to all the men I knew – Curtis, Philip, my ex, Joshua. Fuck, even my own father messed about in his heyday.
‘I’m serious. Unfortunately, I do,’ I admitted.
‘Wow, I’m sorry you feel like that,’ he said. ‘But in my defence, I have met a few truly crazy women in my time.’
‘And that is precisely the kind of gaslighting statement a man would make, Mr Link,’ I shot back.
‘Ouch!’ He raised a brow.
I held my hands up. ‘Toxic masculinity. It’s probably not your fault. I’m thinking that it’s the way men are encouraged to behave these days.’
Jimmy shook his head, looking disappointed. ‘I guess you’ve experienced some truly sketchy men, Ella. And I can see you don’t trust easily. For what it’s worth, I’d like to apologise on behalf of us all.’ He patted the door frame in an awkward attempt to say goodbye and stepped out of the office.
‘Wait. Jimmy!’ I called out after him. He turned back. ‘How bad was the article?’ I asked, knowing how fired up my friends were.
Jimmy gave me a look that I couldn’t quite get the measure of. ‘It will make . . . an interesting read.’
I threw my head back and sighed. What a shitty day.
‘I mean, look, it wasn’t what I imagined, but it will get people talking, put it that way. And I’m sure Britney will be kept busy with PR calls.’
‘And you’re not annoyed?’ I asked, knowing my old boss Andrea would have had us lined up with our drawers at our ankles, ready for a severe arse-whipping if we pulled a stunt like that under her.
‘I trust you guys, Ella. I know you know what you’re doing,’ he said, a soft smile appearing on his handsome face. ‘Night.’
When he was out of sight, I inhaled a sharp breath, slowly realising that whatever Mr Link might say, the truth was I had no fucking idea what I was doing. I had no real idea if I should have come to the States in the first place.