Chapter Forty-One Ella #2
‘Don’t you dare touch me!’ I said quietly but seething with rage. ‘I’ll . . . I’ll . . .’ I pushed myself against the wall. ‘I’ll fuckin’ deck you if you come closer!’
Philip put his hand on his hip and laughed. ‘Deck me? Jesus, Ella!’ He shrugged off my behaviour, but I could see he was panicked. His skin had turned blotchy and red, and his hands were trembling.
‘I never told you about the stalker, Philip,’ I said, feeling the air being pushed out of my lungs. ‘I never said a word to anyone, but somehow you know.’
I watched his face collapse at his fuck-up.
‘It’s you,’ I choked, my voice shaking uncontrollably. Terror and disbelief warred inside me. ‘It’s been you this whole time. You’ve been tormenting Katy with those texts!’
‘No, NO!’ he shouted, holding out his hands, stepping forward.
‘Don’t come near me, Philip! I swear to God,’ I screamed. ‘How did you know then? Fuck, you’ve done all of this to get us back to Scotland. Really? We’ve been paranoid, jumpy, scared out of our fucking minds!’
‘Ella, it wasn’t me.’ His complexion had turned grey.
I leaned down to the table, turning on my phone, still keeping eye contact, making sure he didn’t come towards me.
‘Who are you calling? Ella, stop it. What are you doing?’ he demanded, still edging forward.
‘The police, I’m phoning the police. You are a psychopath, Philip, and I’m going to tell the fucking world!’
‘No, stop! Ella, put down your phone, and I’ll tell you calmly how I know. It’s not me! I could never, I would never—’
‘Look at you, look at the way you’re acting!’ I laughed out of blind fury at the state of him. ‘You’ve done this! How could you do this to me!’
Philip eventually stepped back and sat down on the sofa, leaning forward in thought.
‘I did something awful, something you’ll never forgive me for, but I did not send Katy those texts,’ he said, wiping sweat from his forehead. ‘Will you sit down? Please!’ He gestured to the chair, but there was no way I was getting any nearer to him.
‘Keep talking,’ I shouted, hearing my voice hit off the hotel room’s tranquil walls.
‘When I met you in that café on the first day I arrived in New York, it wasn’t by coincidence.
’ He paused, sighing heavily and pushing his hands through his hair.
‘I still had you on my tracking app, from when you went on that hill walk in Glencoe and got scared in case you got lost?’ He grinned at the memory.
I thought back; it was months before. I had been in my hill-climbing phase, all Glaswegians go through one, and I’d got lost and Philip had to guide me down, tapping into my location from work.
‘So, you did stalk me?’ I said bluntly.
Philip almost laughed under his breath. ‘I’m not a stalker, Ella. I found you, the same way I found you tonight in that dodgy neighbourhood.’
I could feel my hands begin to shake with the weight, the tangle of it all.
‘When I met you in the café, you ran off outside, can you remember?’ He glanced over to me, his eyes bloodshot and his handsome face haggard.
I nodded back.
‘And I presumed it would be to text or call the girls, but your laptop was open and I read the messages on the group chat. At first, I thought it would be your reaction to meeting me, but I soon realised that you girls had a stalker. I read what Katy did with Travis, and I took pictures of your chat on the laptop.’
I shook my head, trying to make sense of it all. ‘You were reading my messages when I walked back in?’ I said, briefly remembering.
He nodded, looking ashamed.
‘Then you told me about Jimmy, and I got mad. I was so angry with myself, Ella, that I blamed you. I had flown over here to win you back, and you had moved on. You seemed . . .’ He thought about his words and shrugged. ‘Different, happy. Like the old you again.’
I felt my lips tremble from the betrayal, how he’d invaded my privacy without a second thought, and at the mention of Jimmy. ‘I was fucking happy, you idiot!’ I cried. ‘Then what? Eh? Then what happened?’
‘Then I told the DeuxMoi site about Katy and Travis, I told them you were money grabbers.’ He hung his head in shame.
‘What?’ I called out.
‘I stopped by your office, tried to win you back, but you completely rejected me. I got so angry that I sent the screenshots to the gossip sites. I caused this, Ella. I’m . . .’ His voice cracked. ‘I’m so, so sorry.’
Numb. I was utterly paralysed that someone who I cared about, someone I’d shared a bed with, had done this to me, had done this to my best friends.
‘I tried to fix it,’ he said.
I began to edge away from the table and towards the door. I needed air, I needed to get out.
‘Ella, please. I’d do anything to take it back,’ Philip cried, standing up from the couch.
I shook my head at the pathetic man in front of me.
‘You’ve ruined my life, Philip.’ I was trembling. Tears, snotters and pure, intense hurt traumatised my body.
‘Please don’t go,’ he sobbed, standing up as I got closer to the door.
‘Don’t go? Don’t go! Are you fucking serious? You have made me fall out with my friends and lose the man I love. You have destroyed my reputation and my business. The app was my one unbelievable chance to be successful, Philip, and it’s gone now. I’ve lost everything.’
He glared at me, his eyes red and watery. ‘Look, I can help fix it, Ella. I promise I will do whatever you want.’ His voice was croaky, but there was determination behind it.
‘I want you to stay the fuck away from my friends and me! I never want to see your face again!’
I opened the door and slammed it shut behind me, crying as my shaky legs reached the stairwell.
I wanted to pause and take a breath, but I didn’t want to risk him coming after me.
How could this happen? How could he do this to me?
I reached the reception, pale and trembling, and headed out to the street, hailing down the first yellow cab I saw.
‘To Hudson Yards, please.’