12. Sophie
Beatrice was frowning in concentration as she selected a range of dresses, laying them over the bed or on chairs. “Which dress would you like to wear, my lady?”
The early morning light spilled through the window and across the bright silk bedclothes. The day was already hot, and my bath had only made me warmer. I longed for cool cashmere but wasn’t sure how that would be perceived by the people of Kasomere I was to meet today. Based on their reaction when I’d arrived in the carriage, there would probably be a large crowd with high expectations. “They’re all excellent choices. The cut of this one is very fashionable. And this one so cleverly uses the house’s colors.”
“Yes, but what do you like? We maids are currently at a loss as to what to make for you.”
I hid my confusion. They’d grown up here. They would be a far better judge of Kasomere fashion and expectations than me. “Whatever is most appropriate, I suppose. What do you think the people will like? There are many more cultures represented here than in Adenburg. I want something that will please everyone.”
Beatrice frowned. “My lady, surely you have personal favorites. Adenburg doesn’t affect the fashion much here and nor will people have strong opinions on what style you should wear. The people of Kasomere will follow whatever trends you set.”
I tapped my lips, running fingers over the smooth materials. Which one would Miss Claris have chosen? She normally had a good eye for these things. I really needed to write to her soon. I realized with a stab of guilt that I’d barely given her a thought this past fortnight. She would be so angry. Probably Irabel and Claribel too. They’d been buzzing with questions about Kasomere in the run up to my wedding.
Since that first day when I’d overslept, I had been working hard to understand Kasomere and had even started overseeing the castle’s daily operations. I hoped Miss Claris would be pleased with that. However, the castle had run smoothly before my involvement, and I often felt like I merely approved what people would have done anyway, an extra logistical step in the mechanisms. Maybe me being here made things less efficient. But the servants and people of Kasomere clearly expected something more now that I was here. I just wasn’t sure how to do that. I hoped I wouldn’t be a disappointment to everyone today.
“Let’s go with this one. The weather is very hot.” I chose one with sleeves that draped from the shoulders and then back up to the wrists, leaving most of the arm bare. It was loose around the waist. Miss Claris would have had a fit at the lack of large skirts and lace. I felt a strange tinge of guilt at choosing something she would have disliked.
Lucy brought in creams from the bathroom, and the maids moisturized my arms and face before dressing me quickly. They buzzed with excitement for the day. Their expectation only made my nerves heighten, and I practiced long exhales as they fussed around my sash and hair.
“Is the general still in the capital?” I’d asked the same question twice already at breakfast this morning, but I couldn’t help myself.
Beatrice nodded. “Yes, my lady. We’ll let you know if we hear that he has returned, though he often likes to arrive quietly in the night.”
I sighed. “He must never sleep. I hope this missing servant business hasn’t been too taxing for him.”
Beatrice gave me a comforting smile. “It takes a lot to shake the general, my lady. Please don’t concern yourself—he’s very competent.”
I let them sweep me down the corridor, Meena leading the way. She wore two extra daggers at her belt; they were curved, unlike those carried by the guards in Adenburg. I wondered if they were from Tyrazastan. Meena had features I associated with that country, including her impressive height.
In the courtyard, I could hear the noise of the crowd even before the gates of the inner wall were opened. Four guards pushed them apart to reveal a path cleared and lined by the city guard straight to a small wooden receiving platform in the main square that must have been erected overnight. As I stepped beyond the inner wall into the city, the noise turned to a roar.
My breath caught. An enormous bustle of activity filled not only the square but flooded down every street as far as I could see, despite the growing heat. Children sat on roofs or waved from the shoulders of adults. Some people had set up food stalls around the perimeter; others filled buckets of water from the central fountain and handed out ladles full. Many of the people wore loose clothing in pale browns and creams with pale wraps around the women’s hair, but plenty of others contrasted in bright silk drapes and tunics. A pair of women wore dresses that seemed to be made of colorful beads. All of them were pointing to me in excitement.
“What do they want from me?” My words came out breathy and weak but somehow Meena heard them over the deafening noise. She wasn’t even watching my lips, her eyes relentlessly scanning the crowd.
“They want to give you their blessings. Many will have gifts.”
I blinked in surprise. “Gifts?”
She turned to face me with a slight frown. “For your wedding. You’re their lady, and they wish to welcome you.”
“Oh.” Warmth flooded my stomach along with a hint of discomfort. These people didn’t owe me anything. I had done nothing for them yet and wasn’t even sure what they needed from me.
“They want to do this even though my husband is away?”
Meena smiled as she walked. “They’re more than used to his business and absences. To them, he’s untouchable and bound in mystery. That’s one of the reasons they’re so happy you’ve come.” She leaned closer as we reached the platform. “Are you happy to meet them in person? The first fifty or so, anyway. It would mean a lot to them.”
I swallowed, relieving my dry throat, eager to try my best. “Of course.”
My throat was becoming parchedfrom talking for so long in the dusty heat, despite the shade of the awning above me. Still the crowd surged endlessly around the platform, the noon sun and lack of shade doing nothing to deflate their enthusiasm.
I clutched the bouquet of wildflowers, trying to not be distracted by the unusual ones. It had always been hard to find wildflowers in the capital.
I focused back on the nervous lady in front of me. “You lost your husband too?”
“Yes, my lady. But the general did us good. Me and my four little ones. May the Heavens bless him.”
I smiled my thanks, and she bobbed a curtsy before me. I turned to the next man who walked with a crutch; one arm hung limply at his side. Before I realized what he intended, he grabbed my hand and kissed the back, his stubble grazing my soft skin. “Bless you, my lady. Bless the general.”
I smiled, though my chest was tightening as I started to feel overwhelmed by all the emotions pouring out of these people. “Thank you.”
The man beat his chest in an impassioned gesture. “He saved my life and gave me work. I should have died on the field. You treat him well, my lady.”
I nodded, words barely leaving my mouth before he was replaced by a woman and her daughter. They handed me a quilt.
“Our street got together and made it for you, my lady. A wedding present. We know it’s nothing fine, but we wanted to show how grateful we are that you’ve come.”
Her expression was so earnest and her daughter’s so excited that tears pricked my eyes as I thanked them.
A man with pale skin and a haunted look silently stared at me with hollow eyes as he approached holding a blade in one hand. I glanced at Meena in concern, but she only gave me a small nod as if she knew him. I focused on the man who handed me the simple dagger before nodding and melting back into the crowd.
Person after person came until my voice croaked, and my feet were sore. A wave of dizziness forced me to throw a pleading look at Meena, who thankfully understood and expertly freed me from the crowd. I followed her down a pathway from the back of the platform into a nearby building, some sort of official office, which was blessedly quiet as soon as the door was shut. A seat waited for me at a table with a heaped platter of cold food and a goblet of water flavored by an orange slice. My stomach clenched eagerly.
Meena pulled back the chair. “Rest here, my lady. When you have regained your energy, we can head back to the castle.”
I drank the water in one go and was glad Miss Claris wasn’t here to witness such bad manners. I wondered if I would ever get used to this heat. “Meena, please eat with me.”
The guard hesitated before pulling up a second chair and helping herself to some chicken legs as I selected a miniature cheese pastry. While I’d handed many of the gifts to the guards, I placed the ones I still carried on the table. My eyes fell on the silent man’s dagger. The metal was dull, almost black. The hilt was metal instead of wood or leather, which would make it hard to grip, and it bore dozens of uneven tiny marks in rows.
Meena followed my gaze. “It’s ceremonial. A freisk knife.”
I ran my finger over the rough marks on the hilt. “What is it, exactly? I’ve never heard that term before.”
Meena helped herself to a chunk of bread. “Many of the people here have been to war with your husband. Most are in his regiment. Some are in his personal battalion. Others are men and women he has helped. The general may appear harsh, but he’s also compassionate. He has saved the lives of many, and cared for the relatives of those he couldn’t. As such, he has won fierce loyalty.”
I nodded, I had gathered that much from the people I”d spoken with. I waited for her to link this information to the knife.
She reached into her boot and pulled out a similar knife in the same dull black metal. “Well, these knives have become an unofficial tradition encouraged by Callum, who makes them out of Yadum. It’s a custom adapted from Tyrazastan. The fact this man has given you his freisk knife is a sign his loyalty extends to you, also. It was a grand gesture. It means he would die for you.”
“Oh.” My eyes widened as I turned the knife. “Callum makes them?”
She nodded with a slight smirk. “Hundreds of them, far more than are needed in the war. Mostly, I think to wind up the general, but they’ve taken on a deeper meaning to the people here. People ask Callum for one when they swear to give the general their loyalty for the rest of their lives, whether they are fighting or not. The soldiers take them with them into battle against Kollenstar and mark the hilt every time they kill a soulless.”
I shivered, then realized I was leaning so far in to hear Meena’s words that my hair was draping in the food. I hurriedly sat back into a more ladylike posture. “The soulless? Are those the monsters we hear of in the campaigns?”
Meena nodded, her eyes on the knife. “It’s the nickname soldiers have given to the Kollen warriors. Our enemy. Those that have been twisted so much by illegal kryalcomy, they’re indeed little more than monsters. Sure, Kollenstar sends normal soldiers, too, but now more and more are soulless.”
My breaths no longer seemed to contain air as I leaned forward again. “Have you seen one? A soulless?”
The tall guard nodded and handed me her own freisk knife. Dozens of marks were engraved on the metal hilt. My mouth dried.
“You’ve killed that many?”
She nodded as she took it back, slipping it back into her boot. “Nothing can prepare you for the shock of them—the wrongness of them. If it weren’t for the general, I would have been killed long ago in this war. Instead, they have fallen to my blades.”
I frowned. “How has he helped you?”
Her eyes met mine, suddenly fierce. “That man is a military genius who actually cares about his soldiers. He will do whatever it takes to keep them safe. He is the only man who can win this war. And instead, the king is determined to ruin him. If General Batton is removed from the war, this whole country will be doomed.”
I rocked back in my chair in shock at the passion behind her words.
Meena looked down to one side, her face becoming hard and withdrawn. “Forgive me, my lady. When you’re ready, we can return to the castle. You must be tired.” Her words sounded restrained.
I swallowed down my half-chewed food and nodded. If what Meena said was true, I needed to help Kasten however I could. As far as things stood, it didn’t seem like he needed me at all. But these people clearly expected me to do great things. Joy and hope were written all over their faces, while I couldn’t even meet them without feeling dizzy. I needed to do better.
I had to become something…more.