36. Sophie
SOPHIE
I slipped between the halfsouls, my heart becoming battered as it slammed against my ribs, but they still didn’t notice me. I’d been so scared when I was near them in the corridor in Lyrason’s house. I refused to be like that now. I kept moving forward, my mind focused on my quarry.
I felt so alive.
The poor tortured creatures brushed against me with terrible expressions. They shrieked and jerked. Their gaping mouths reminded me over and over of the teeth that had sunk into my arm. But I wouldn’t lose Lyrason. If we didn’t stop him soon, all of Adenburg would become halfsouls. Kasten wouldn’t like what I had done, but I could do this, whatever he thought. All of Fenland was relying on me. And they’d killed Meena…
As the press of halfsouls came closer, the harder it was to see Lyrason and Mister Gregane and keep up with their pace. Lyrason was walking normally now, the wound in his abdomen apparently healed. In fact, he moved with astonishing speed. I kept pressing on my reserve around my neck so I could keep up my fast walk, dreading the moment it would run out.
Gregane held an object that somehow repelled the halfsouls and was constantly shoving it outward toward them. It appeared to be a globe of greenish metal. The repulsion wasn’t like the halfsouls’ manner toward me, whom they simply ignored, thinking I was one of them. No, the halfsouls would run eagerly toward Lyrason and Gregane, then be actively repelled. I assumed it was some sort of haemalcomy.
An ear-splitting crack from behind made me turn. Arcs of bright light burned my vision, and a group of soldiers dressed in pale blue and silver headed down the road from the palace. Kasten was coming. I just had to lead him to Lyrason. I turned back and almost missed Lyrason turning down a side street. I unslung my medical bag and hooked it as high as I could reach on a shop sign next to the passage to mark the turning. I hoped Kasten would see it.
I turned and was glad to see there were no halfsouls in the street ahead. The path was clear and clean, and Lyrason and Gregane were running away unhindered. They were heading toward Father’s old house. Trepidation tightened my chest. No, my family was gone. I couldn’t get distracted or hesitate.
We turned a corner, and I reached for my detector, using the alert code again. Please let somebody be close. Please. It would take Kasten too long to fight his way through the halfsouls that I’d simply slipped past. I followed around another bend and slammed into Gregane. He’d been waiting for me.
He grabbed my arm, his lank hair falling forward as he leaned into me. “For somebody who’s meant to be intelligent with all your plants and experiments, you’re actually rather stupid, aren’t you?”
Lyrason stepped up on my other side with a neutral expression, a small, apologetic smile on his lips as he pushed his glasses up his nose. “Now we can stop Kasten, but we should still move fast. Can you drag her?”
I didn’t waste a moment. I didn’t think. I lunged for Mister Gregane’s hand and grabbed the small globe of greenish metal that he had been using to keep the halfsouls away. To my surprise, I prized it free from his sweaty fingers. He jerked me backward, away from his hand, and I used the momentum to fling it over the nearest high wall. Now they’d be vulnerable. I might not be strong enough to kill them, but enough halfsouls would. And there were more than enough on the streets now.
Gregane roared in frustration. “You stupid girl!” He hit me across the face with the hilt of his dagger.
Pain bloomed across my cheekbone, and pressure throbbed in my temple. I gasped and panted as he pulled me upright. “I don’t care if you kill me,” I hissed. “Not if it stops all of this.”
Lyrason sneered. “I thought you’d realized by now that some things are far worse than death. You should know that more than most.” He turned to Gregane. “We need to move. Kasten will clean up the halfsouls. We have enough vitality now. When he finally finds us, he won’t be able to hurt us as long as we have her. He’ll do as we want, which will allow us to take Annabelle.”
I reached for my dagger, but Gregane predicted the movement and twisted my arms behind my back tighter and tighter until my eyes watered with pain. “There are so many experiments I can’t wait to do to you,” he whispered in my ear. He raked his long dirty fingers through my hair, found the detector, and yanked it from my scalp. I yelled as the little metal claws ripped through my skin.
Gregane started dragging me down the street after Lyrason. I did my best to slow us down, kicking my heels into the cracks between cobblestones and rolling in his grip so he had to keep changing hands to avoid letting go, the material of my dress constricting his fingers. If the halfsouls caught up, they would have nothing to repel them with. I’d survive, and they’d die. It was my best hope.
Soldiers burst onto the street ahead. They wore the pale blue and silver Kasomere colors and aimed their crossbows at us, blocking our path. I breathed out a shaky breath. They must have heard my rally call before my detector was torn free. They would stop Lyrason and Gregane’s escape. I was not alone anymore.
Lyrason stayed perfectly calm. “If you shoot, I will kill Lady Batton.” He lifted a knife in my direction. Gregane held me tighter and jerked my hair back so my throat was exposed.
The soldiers hesitated but kept their weapons drawn as they formed two ranks that blockaded the street. Gregane kept one hand knotted in my hair and drew a long rapier with a black blade to the side of me. He cocked his head, his lank hair falling across his features.
Lyrason swept his arm to gesture toward us. “Gentlemen, you really, really don’t want to fight him. Believe me.”
From behind, screeches grew louder as halfsouls found our alley and started flinging themselves off the walls in eagerness as they came down. I licked my lips. Not long now before they reached us and attacked Lyrason and Gregane. But I didn’t want them to hurt the soldiers as well.
The troops before us held fast, and I felt a swell of pride, quickly overwhelmed by fear for their bravery. Gregane looked back nervously. “My lord?”
Kasten, Kasten, where are you?
The screams of the halfsouls came closer. Gregane dragged me to one side of the street, and Lyrason grabbed my wrists, waving Gregane away. I yanked myself forward, hoping that Lyrason would be weaker, and so easier to free myself from. However, his nails dug deeper into the tender skin of my wrists, making me hiss in pain. Sharp metal grazed my ribs, and I looked down to see Lyrason had angled his dagger where he could drive it up into my heart. “Behave,” he whispered in my ear. “Save your energy in case we have to run. A spindly little girl like you won’t be able to break free, hmm?” He spoke too quickly to be menacing, his voice slightly too high-pitched.
Lyrason nodded to Gregane who still held his rapier outstretched. “Break through these men. Now.”
Gregane’s eyes widened, but then he looked back at the approaching tidal wave of halfsouls and nodded. He pressed down on a metal band around his forearm and lunged at the soldiers blocking the way, suddenly faster and stronger. Maybe the bracelet functioned like Callum’s reserve. Or maybe he was drawing on more vitality. They had to be harvesting unthinkable amounts with this many halfsouls running loose.
My resolve started to shake as he plowed into Kasomere soldiers. My soldiers. Were they going to die like Meena simply because I had called them to fight? If I ordered them to retreat, I knew they would. But we had to stop Lyrason—we had to stop this terrible darkness.
Gregane’s blade caught a soldier’s arm, and the man dropped, screaming in unexpected agony. An arrow hit Gregane’s invisible haemalcomy shield causing a white explosion that sent men stumbling to the ground. Masonry crumpled around us. It seemed that the slower blows from swords didn’t trigger the shield, just kryalcomy and fast projectiles.
However, Lyrason was focused on the halfsouls. He pushed me to a trellis up the side of a tall garden wall. “Climb up. Now.”
I obeyed, glad he’d let go of my arm. I reached the top, my long, wide skirts creating some difficulty, and balanced on the bricks on my hands and feet, not daring to stand. I wished I’d changed into sensible boots like Annabelle, but at least my slippers didn’t have heels. Lyrason followed close behind me, his dagger still unsheathed. “Don’t try anything stupid.” He perched on the wall beside me and gripped my upper arm.
The halfsouls were almost level with the men fighting below. I pressed a hand to my mouth in horror. I wanted to stop this. I didn’t want our soldiers to be turned into those twisted beasts.
Silvery light blinded my vision, and I almost fell backward off the wall. A new hand gripped my shoulder as the heel of my slipper dipped into empty air and I flailed. I gasped and turned to find Kasten beside me, steadying me as he perched on the wall. He must have leapt up from the garden behind us while we were focused on the street.
Kasten . I almost sagged with relief. But my heart rate accelerated further as I took stock of the situation.
My husband wasn’t looking at me. His eyes were violent death as he regarded Lyrason, like a predator about to pounce. The lord nodded to the knife he had angled back at my ribs. I held my breath.
Lyrason was very still. “Good evening, General. Jump off the wall, or I’m afraid I’ll have to kill her.”
At the very edge of my hearing, I heard Kasten scoff before he released his grip on my shoulder. He moved too fast for me to predict. My fingers gripped the rough stone beneath me as he stepped around me with incredible agility, grabbing and twisting Lyrason’s wrist while knocking him back with a hard blow. I heard a sharp crack of bone before Lyrason fell off backward off the wall into the garden below. Kasten followed at once and thumped to the ground beside him, somehow keeping on his feet like a graceful black cat.
He was beautiful and terrifying in his efficiency.
All at once, I was free. I drew in a shaking breath and managed to keep my perch as I peered down into the gloomy garden.
Lyrason winced and scooted back on one elbow, his other arm twisted at a strange angle. “Don’t kill me. Don’t kill me. I have things to say.”
“You hurt my wife,” Kasten growled, stepping forward and looming over the man on the floor.
On the other side of the wall, the halfsouls shrieked with excitement as they came within strides of Mister Gregane and our soldiers.
I looked back to the garden, hoping Kasten could remove Lyrason as a threat quickly. Tying him up or knocking him out or even killing him if there was no other way. The lord raised one hand as if it would protect him. “I have information.”
Kasten didn’t seem to care. He raised his sword. “Let’s see how many blows it takes to get through your shield. Or do I need to stab you slowly?”
My breath caught at the malice in his voice. My throat tightened. I looked away. I didn’t want to see this side of Kasten.
“I…I am not the one who invented halfsouls. Neither is Mister Gregane. Wait. Wait! It was…it was your mother!” His voice rose to a shriek.
What? I opened my eyes and looked back down. Kasten was frozen, cocking his head.
This wasn’t the time. I leaned over the wall. “Kasten! The halfsouls!”
My husband hesitated for one more second before stabbing Lyrason in the thigh with a blowpipe needle that contained the strong sedative for the halfsouls.
I winced. “Kasten, pull it out quickly or it will be too strong. It might already be too much.”
Kasten did as I said, but he didn’t seem overly concerned about the dose as Lyrason’s head fell back to the ground. I supposed he had extra vitality, but that was an unknown complication. I worried my lip between my teeth.
Kasten leapt back up the wall to beside me, pulling himself up with surprising ease. Before I could fully take him in, he embraced me, kissing my hair and seeming to breathe me in. “Sorry, I took so long. I know you were waiting for me. Wait just a little longer.”
He looked down to where halfsouls were swamping both Gregane and our soldiers in a tangled mass of bodies. Gregane’s shield seemed useless against the movements of the halfsouls.
I grabbed Kasten’s sleeve. “I took away the object that repels the halfsouls from Lyrason and Gregane. But Gregane may still be receiving vitality from them just like Lyrason was. He also seemed stronger and faster than normal. I don’t know if the halfsouls will be able to injure him badly enough or turn him into one of them. Our troops are being killed and turned. You need to put the bracelet on him so he can no longer receive vitality and become slow and weak.”
Kasten seemed calm and composed despite the shocking words Lyrason had just said. He nodded, fished my bracelet out of his pocket, and jumped down from the wall, his sword still drawn in the other hand. At once, halfsouls turned to face him with excitable screams.
“Everyone drop!” he bellowed. A second later, a controlled arc of silvery light flew through the alley at shoulder height. The halfsouls were thrown back against the walls. It exploded against Gregane’s shield, and our soldiers rocked from the impact where they lay, their hands over their heads.
Nothing stood between Gregane and Kasten now. In three strides, he closed the distance. I barely noticed the chain wrapped around his sword before he grabbed Gregane’s stained shirt and plunged the blade into his abdomen with ruthless speed.
The brutality made me blink. Nausea contracted my stomach as Kasten pushed the body to the ground with a kick to slide it from his sword. At that moment, he didn’t seem like the Kasten I knew.
Had that been necessary? Shouldn’t he have been arrested for a trial? Or was he deemed too dangerous? I wasn’t sure. Something about it had felt… excessive. But what did I know about such things?
Kasten turned and sent another arc up the alleyway killing any remaining halfsouls on their way toward them.
The remaining soldiers cheered, and thankfully none looked like they were turning into a halfsoul. Now that they were safe, I released my white-knuckled grip on the masonry, my fingers cramping. I eased myself down from the wall and jumped into the garden to check Lyrason’s pulse, blinking away images of Kasten running somebody through with his sword.
The soldiers cheered on the other side of the wall, but within this tangled garden, it was calm. I blew out a long slow breath and let myself feel relief. Maybe Kasten would now see what I was capable of. I’d just stopped Lyrason from escaping and helped stop a civil war before it could truly start. I’d shown my bravery and strength.
Kasten joined me moments later, his sword still drawn and dripping blood. It put me on edge.
He scowled at Lyrason. “Is he still alive?”
I nodded and tried to sound calm. “His heart rate is slow but regular and not especially weak. Best not to put a bracelet on him yet, though. He’s very deeply sedated. He likely won’t wake up for hours. Possibly all night. He needs that vitality to ensure you can question him.” I didn’t look to see if Kasten still had the bloodstained artifact after he had used it to stab somebody, just to make sure they couldn’t recover from an already lethal blow.
Kasten wiped his sword on the grass before sheathing it. He helped me to my feet and held both my shoulders, locking me in place. His eyes were wild. “You scared me, Sophie. No, you terrified me. Again! Do you have any idea what you put me through?”
I cringed. Why couldn’t he see what I had just achieved? I was upset with him too, but I couldn’t deal with this on top of everything else that had just happened. I numbed my emotions and looked away. “I’m sorry, Kasten, for making you worry.”
“You said that last time, Sophie.” He shook his head, his eyes wide. “Your apologies don’t mean much when you continue to do this. Why, Sophie? Why do you put yourself in such vulnerable positions?”
He didn’t raise his voice, but his words still cut me. Something inside me crumpled. “I had no choice, Kasten. Lyrason and Gregane were about to get away. And there was nobody else there. Meena was…Meena had…I didn’t want her sacrifice to be for nothing.” To my shame, my numbness faded as soon as I thought of my guard and tears ran down my cheeks.
Kasten’s anger was becoming more visible now. “But it would have been for nothing if you had been killed too, Sophie! Do you have any idea how lucky you are to be alive right now?”
I swallowed and lifted my chin, desperate to hold my ground, despite my exhaustion. “My actions meant you could track Lyrason and Gregane down and stop them, did they not? It was worth the risk, and if I’d died, it would’ve been worth the sacrifice. My actions saved many more from being changed into halfsouls. It meant you could capture Lyrason. Everyone has been in danger today. Why should I be the one who is not allowed to help?”
He stepped right up to me, his face becoming white. “It would absolutely not have been worth the sacrifice if it had meant your death. I don’t care how many citizens of Adenburg became halfsouls if it means you are safe.”
My restraint snapped. “But you should care, Kasten! My life is not worth more than theirs!”
He didn’t back down an inch, but his eyes darkened as he shook his head. “It is to me. You’re my wife. And your strengths are innumerable, but they don’t lie in being a soldier. It is not your role to put your life at risk during a battle. You save lives through your mind: your abilities to heal and your ability to solve challenges.”
I frowned, trying to make myself taller so he didn’t loom over me. “My life is not more valuable than hundreds of others, Kasten. It never will be. And I don’t want you to threaten to burn down the whole of Adenburg whenever I’m in danger. I don’t want to be your excuse for acting like a monster!”
He flinched, and I instantly regretted the words. I’d hit him too close to home. He snarled. “Don’t you understand that the more you risk yourself, the more of a monster you make me by trying to protect you!”
It was my turn to feel like I’d been slapped. This wasn’t my fault. My retort stammered from my lips. “I only risk myself to show that I’m strong and capable, Kasten. Today proves that I can manage without your constant protection. I don’t want you to constantly worry and obsess about my safety. I’m not weak! You don’t have to be a monster.”
A strange, cold smile curved the corners of his lips that didn’t hide the pain in his eyes. “I’ve always been a monster, Sophie. It was only you who makes me good. But when you act like this, you bring the monster back.”
He turned and leapt for the wall, pulling himself up in one smooth motion. “I’m going to make sure there are no remaining halfsouls.”
I ran to the base, but was unable to follow him. “You’re not a monster!” I yelled after him. “That has never been true! Kasten!”
But he was gone, swallowed by the night. I collapsed next to Lyrason, the events of the last few hours catching up to me. Tears streamed down my cheeks, and I choked on my own ragged breaths. I shouldn’t have said that. He shouldn’t have said that. How could we love each other so much that we were stifling each other?
Kasten had just done all he could to save Fenland and protect Annabelle. He hadn’t done that just for me. If I was all he cared about, he wouldn’t have concerned himself with smooth successions or preventing civil wars. He wouldn’t have aided Annabelle. We would have likely never left the safety of Kasomere. How could he still not see himself the way he was?
He was a good person with or without me. But I still didn’t want to be the reason he took lives. I wanted to help him see himself as good, and somehow, I had made it worse.
I brushed the tears from my eyes and waited for Meena before remembering she wasn’t coming. The realization made tears and guilt come afresh. Eventually, Tara and Sir Chase jumped over the wall—sent by Kasten—and helped me to my feet. Together we carried Lyrason back to Highfair.
Despite my longing to see him, Kasten didn’t reappear as Beatrice helped me wash and change. Tara stayed close by, and I kept mistaking her for Meena out of the corner of my eye; my wounds were constantly being rubbed raw.
Kasten still didn’t appear as I got into bed. He had to be as shattered as I was. A feeling of dread built in my stomach along with the memories of being abandoned and ignored by him for months. The tears threatened to come afresh as I tried not to despair.
At last, I collapsed back into bed alone and hoped the world would seem an easier place after some sleep.