7. chapter seven
chapter seven
i brightened someones day
E very eye from everyone in this group is darting between me andGoldie. And there was something about this attention that I didn’t mind.
Her name fits her perfectly, seeing as though I opted to refer toher as Sunshine until I found out her name. Although, if her eyes were going to go all doh-like every time I called her that, I might just stick to Sunshine.
“Um…” The girl Finn referred to as his sister, Daisy, hums. “Do youtwo know each other?”
“No!” Goldie belts, at the same time I lick away a smile and say, “Kind of.”
Half of the heads whip to me, while the other half stay on Goldie.
But not for long, though, as she clears her throat a second later, grabbing everyone’s attention.
“Well, not really.” She barely gets out, as she continues to avoid mystare. “We, uh… we take the same class.” Her topaz eyes darted around the group. “Intro to psychology. Yeah, that’s the… that’s the class we take.”
“Interesting.” The girl with the black bob, Cora, who was dressed ina long navy skirt and white tee, exaggerates from beside Goldie as she looks me up and down, like I’m the missing puzzle piece to a mystery she was trying to solve.
Goldie shoots her a warning glare that does nothing but make myfascination with her spike. Perhaps I was curious how a girl who was the embodiment of daylight could wear such a scowl.
Ignoring the voices in my head, yelling at me to stay quiet and belabelled as the shy one, I raise my hand to my mouth as I clear my throat, earning back her stare. “I never did get to introduce myself properly, though.” Without thinking, I dropped my hand in front of me, in her direction. “I’m Tristan.”
“I know.” She replies, the words so breathy and light I barely heardthem. “Goldie.”
I nodded at her, delighting in the way her eyes were still on me. “Iknow.”
I watched earnestly as her hand neared mine, her cold palms nippingat mine as they interlocked, shaking slightly, all the while I felt the weight of everyone’s stares growing heavy as we released them.
I could practically hear me from an hour ago calling me a hypocritefor not caring that the rest of the group had their full attention on us. Somehow, I could block them out. And all I could focus on in the moment was her—the complex girl I’d only just met, yet somehow the thought of not thinking about her made me feel ill.
“Great show last night, by the way,” Cora called from her corner ofthe circle.
The girl next to Finn, Daisy, rocks back and forth on her tiptoes asher eyes dart to me. “She’s right, it was amazing.”
I managed to muster up a smile and dish it to both of them. “Thankyou; I’m glad you had fun.”
Her shoulders shuffled as the eyes of the group fell on her. “Well,we did once our Goldie was patched up.” She swayed over to Goldie, patting her shoulder as a big cheesy smile shone on her face.
Goldie, on the other hand, was barely containing hers as she eyedCora. “Oh, well, thank you for reminding me of that.” She laughed, her eyes wandering around the group, before she flailed her hands. “I was pushed, but I’m fine. I promise.”
“You sure?”I blurted out the question before it ran through my mind, but Ididn’t care. I wanted to know.
Her eyes held mine, narrowing slightly as a mixture ofemotions settled between her smile lines, before she nodded. “I’m sure.”
I pulled my smile to the side, trying to think of other reasons mystomach was fluttering other than the way the sun danced in her eyes when she angled her head just right.
“You’re from Ealing, aren’t you?” Cora chirps, breaking the silencebefore it solidifies.
I slowly pull my eyes off Goldie and place them on her. “FellowLondon dweller?” I asked.
“Notting Hill.” She nods, her accent only now becoming clearer. “Andyou’re studying psychology?” She asks, and I nod, knowing what’s— “Oh, I’m sure you’ll figure it out.”
See. She thinks I haven’t got a clue what I want to do with my life.
But it's the opposite. I know everything that I want to happen. Butgetting into that now isn’t one of those things. So I throw a smile on that shows off my teeth and say, “Thank you.”
The awkward silence that I’m surprised took so long to show up,considering we were all strangers, finally falls between us like a cloud. Slight eye contact and nervous tugs of our clothing are all that we do until someone, the girl in the pink dress and with hair like a brunette Rapunzel, speaks up.
“So, twins, huh?” She directs her question at my roommate and hissister.
Everyone, including me, looks over to the twins, but my attentiongets pulled over to Finn, whose eyes are all wide and wonderstruck.
And boring into the girl who asked the question.
“Finn?” Daisy nudges his shoulder.
Finn pulls his head back and shakes it, throwing his million-dollarsmile right back on like it had never fallen. “Um, yeah. Yeah, since birth.”
A snort comes from Cora, as the rest of us keep our smiles hidden.
Barely.
“And if it wasn’t already obvious, Finn here is our student-athlete.Liberty Lions newest right defenseman over here.” Daisy jests as she rests her elbow on her brother's shoulder.
“Ha ha.” Finn mocks as he shrugs her off his shoulder. “I still gotthe grades to get me a full-ride scholarship. The words 'Dumb' and 'Jock' don't apply to me.”
“Not yet, they don't.” Jesse, who hadn’t spoken a word yet, laughsfrom beside Finn. Which earns him a slight smile from Daisy.
Finn raises his hands in defeat. “Does anyone else want to make funof me? Please be my guest.”
Daisy and Jesse’s heads slowly turn to face each other, a knowing lookflashing between them as identical smirks spread across their faces. Without missing a beat, they started humming in sync, nodding along to an invisible rhythm. It took only a few seconds for the tune to become unmistakable—it was “Be Our Guest” from Beauty and the Beast. A mad choice, sure, but harmless enough.
Which made the thunderous look on Finn’s face all the moreperplexing.
The rest of us exchanged confused glances, awkward smiles tuggingat our lips as we tried to figure out what was going on. Finally, Finn’s stony expression cracked, giving way to a smile he was clearly fighting to suppress. “I’m convinced you two only came to this school to piss me off.”
But Daisy and Jesse kept humming, unfazed and undeterred.
“Yeah, real funny,” Finn quipped, rolling his eyes. “Let’s annoy Finn bysinging a Disney song because—oh, hilarious—all the dishes are French, and guess who’s studying French? Me.”
Their humming broke into cackles as Daisy and Jesse collapsedagainst each other, struggling to catch their breath between fits of laughter. The rest of us couldn’t help but join in, our nervous laughs and their infectious ones weaving through our small circle—until Rory cleared her throat, cutting through the noise.
“You’re studying French?” she asked, her eyes settling on Finn.
His hesitation was instant, as his expression faltered for a second,as if he were scrambling to find the right words. He stuttered a bit, eyes wide, and caught off guard before finally nodding. “Yeah… yeah, I am.”
Rory’s smile lit up. “Oh, well, I’m fluent, so if you ever need help...” She trailed off, the shy smile on her lips betraying a hint of nerves.
Finn’s eyes widened in surprise. “Oh, wow. Thank you.”
A brief silence settled over the group, but it wasn’t long beforeanother familiar melody filled the air from Daisy and Jesse’ corner of the circle—this time humming “Tale as Old as Time”.
Finn's face deadpans. "You two need physically restraining from one another. I can't do this for four years."
A giggle slips from all of the girls, while Jesse and I grunt a laugh.
And from there on out, we melted into a comfortable conversation.
It was natural, the way everyone seemed to get on, as though thislittle pack was one that would survive the mess that would be the next four years. But I was getting ahead of myself, as all I seemed to add to the conversation was a laugh here and there and the odd tight smile when someone said something about what brought them here.
I was fine staying in Finn’s shadow, like he’d promised. But the moreI thought about it, the more I cracked a smile or leaned my head further towards the group to get a clue on where the conversation was heading, the more I felt my mind split in two.
Like a crevasse down a continent, its deep cracks finally breakingthrough the surface and separating a united nation.
On the one hand, I didn’t want to be here, not truly. If the badhabits never stuck and I didn’t trust the wrong people with the most fragile parts of me, I wouldn’t be here. I’d be in a recording studio back in London, writing songs until I could feel the sleep stinging my eyes. I’d be spending hours fine-tuning my guitar skills and feeling the weight of getting better pressing down on my shoulders.
Getting attached meant preparing to let go of these people when Iwas ready to go home, and I think I’d suffered enough without going through that too
But on the other hand… God did this feel easy. The bonding and thelaughing and doing the things that people my age should naturally be doing.
It felt… right.
It felt like I’d met the people who were the polar opposites of thepeople I met after my first single went viral, the people who lured my naive self in, whisked me into their dark little underworld in the gutters of Soho and left me for dead once they’d had their fun.
C'mon Harper, don’t be a pussy again.
You’ve done coke, Molly’s not so different.
Two pills–that’s what you need. You won’t feel anything otherwise.
I had to squeeze my eyes to shut out the flashes from theambulance lights and the week spent on a drip out of my mind.
A giggle broke through my thoughts, echoing off the walls of thecrevasse I wanted to ignore, as I cast my eyes down to the mouth it slipped out of.
Goldie.
Her face, her voice, even her laugh seemed to reside in the part ofmy mind that was trying to enjoy being here. Although, every time I tried to look at her, she looked in the other direction. And something about it felt purposeful.
As though she could feel my eyes on her, she brought her eyes ontome. And naturally, I smiled at her.
But not a second later, she cast her eyes back to the floor, herhead springing back up after a heartbeat and whispering to Cora, “I’ll be back in a sec.”
I watched as she left, scurrying away into the crowd like someinvisible creature was chasing her. Like she was running away from something that was only in her mind.
Somehow, it felt like I’d done something to make her leave—like I’dstared too long, tried to figure her out and spooked her. I couldn’t quite place the feeling, but deep down, I knew I should’ve craved the silence, the one less person to talk to.
But as I looked back over my shoulder, spotting her almostimmediately by the edge of the glass, staring out at the city, I couldn’t think of a better spot to exist in.
I don’t say anything as I slip from the group, nor do I think I needto. The conversation would exist with or without me, so quietly I left and made a beeline for Goldie.The nearly empty glass in my hand gives me something to distractmyself with as I near her, not knowing what to say when I walk up to her, just knowing that I want to say something.
Anything.
But just as I step closer, the thump of my heart picks up as Iclose the distance, she turns around, surprise delighting in those topaz eyes.
“Oh, hi.” She says up to me, her stare flicking between my eyes.
“Hi,” I say to her, but before I can offer up anything else, before Ican even think about talking to her again, she tries to shuffle around me.
“I better get back to—”
“Was it the crude band shirt I offered you or my presence that'sthe reason you’re avoiding me?”
A pink flush invades her cheeks. “No, it’s not– crude?” Her headpulls back. “What was crude about it?”
Shrugging, I let my body relax. “Lets just say that there used to bea pair of tits on there but… okay, so it’s not the T-shirt.” I narrowed my eyes at her, not hating the mischief that I knew was decorating my smirk. “So it’s me then. Wonderful.”
Immediately, I didn’t like the way guilt cast over her eyes.
Before, I could see the dusky stars and the final moments ofsunlight dancing between the impurities that made her eyes the colour they were. But now, nothing.
Worry splashes on her face. “No, no. I’m sorry—”
I dip my head to reach her height. “No, don’t apologise, you’venot done anything wrong.” My hand covered my chest. “I’m sorry. I just thought I'd done something.”
Guilt floated along with the flutters in my stomach, the ones thatwere getting harder and harder not to blame on her.
“It’s fine.” A whisper of a smile graced her face, before she beganto turn back around to face the view. After a moment, I brushed up beside her, waiting to see which one of us would strike first.
Although, as the night breeze blew against us, strands of her goldenhair swaying to the left and the skyline getting hazy, I wished for a few more moments like this, wondering if I’d ever felt this peaceful before in my life.
I put my thoughts on hold as I saw her lips pry open out of thecorner of my eye. “And not to sound so cheesy but it’s not you, it’s me.”
I tilt my head to the side, watching her as her eyes bore ahead,getting lost in the fiery haze of the sunset. “Yeah?”
She nods, more for herself. “Yeah. Today was supposed to be thebiggest day of my life, and, well, it didn’t pan out the way I hoped it would.” She glances at me for a second, before retreating her gaze. “Running into you, as much as I enjoyed having coffee dripping off me, didn’t help either.”
I couldn’t help but huff a small laugh. “I’m sorry about that.”
She shrugged, her smirk crowning in my peripheral. “I was just asdistracted, and plus, I gained a free t-shirt. Granted, it is black, which just isn’t my style, but you’ve got to find the positives somewhere.”
I got the feeling that’s who she was—someone who saw the good ineven in the shittiest of situations.
A sigh rolled out of her. “It’s all just been a little overwhelming, isall.”
I nod straight ahead, tracing the skyline. “I get it; I think I am too,if that makes you feel any better. I bet everyone here is.” I knock my head to the side, the motion making me knock her shoulder so she can see what I mean. “Past those smiles is just people who are probably scared of being on their own for the first time and—”
“Oh, no, trust me, that’s not why I’m overwhelmed.” Goldieinterrupts, and I can’t help but gaze at her as her pearly whites shine through her smile. “Being away from home is what I wanted. What I needed.”
What a coincidence, Sunshine. Me too.
I sigh the words in my head as the dial that’s up there spikes onceagain, my fascination for this girl makes my skin buzz.
I have to lick away a smile as I bend down slightly, just as the wordsI’m about to say to her ripple in my mind. And as her head angles back towards the view, I ask her. “So, why are you, Marigold Moore, here at Liberty Grove?”
I realise, as she whips her head around, that bending down to herwas a mistake, because our faces are the closest they’ve been. Too close, considering we’d only known each other a day. So I pull back, and doing so lets me see the effect my words had on her.
Her mouth gapes, but no sound comes out. But she doesn’t even haveto ask me anything; I know that she’s wondering how I know who she is.
I didn’t, apart from the memories from the concert, until she askeda question in class this morning. When Professor Whatshisname asked if her name was Marigold Moore, I knew it sounded familiar. And one swift internet search had me saying, ‘That’s where I know her from’ in my head, just as the class began.
Although I had a feeling she preferred Goldie.
I playfully roll my eyes at her, doing nothing to hide my smirk. “Oh,please, your face is all over those streaming services.”
Her brows raise as she stares at me, before her shoulders pushback, turning to face me as she does. Determination written across her face in the neatest way possible. “Okay then, answer me this, Tristan Harper,” I side eye her. “What is a guy who has two songs in the top ten charts doing at Liberty Grove?”
The smug look her face takes on forces my eyes to the floor, purelyso I could hide the smile that would not leave my face.
Unlike how I thought I’d feel, I don’t feel weird about the fact thatshe knows who I am. She’s made it very clear that she isn’t the type of person to scream out other people’s secrets. The fact that her friends had no idea about our run-in this morning was sign number one. And take in the fact that this girl knows what it’s like to have the eyes of the world on you?
She saw me, more than the rest.
I sink my bottom lip between my teeth as I meet her stare again,sipping the last of the sickly sweet punch in my glass. “It’s complicated.”
Not a lie, but certainly nothing close to the truth.
She nods her head at me, as though she can see the reason in thecolours of my eyes. “Let me guess, something to do with your parents?”
That was the story I’d told Finn before, and if I wanted to makelife easier for myself, sticking to that story—the tragic one that was too sensitive to talk about, the questions would stop there.
So I nodded at her, not thinking about what that meant to her. Notuntil she slowly shakes her head, letting her gaze dip to her toes for a second, before it springs back up and her eyes are back on me.
“They’re just swell, ain’t they?” She asked, the slight shake in her voice and the way her stare held mine, telling me better than words could that my cover-up was her reality.
As I sank into her stare, I saw it again. That look.Like she was gazing into a mirror.
I regainsome sense and snap my head back towards the view, with Goldie doing the same a second or two after. I trace the last streams of daylight that cast themselves along the Hudson River, before I wander over and study the outline of all the iconic landmarks that I’d only ever seen in the pictures from my and Mums trips here.
Before I realised I’d opened my mouth, I said into the night. “If myparents could hear my thoughts right now, I’d never be able to get through another family dinner without hearing I told you so, but… I think I’ll like it here.”
I keep my eyes on the view, forgetting the thoughts I’d spoken thatshould’ve stayed as thoughts, but it wasn’t long before I felt her eyes on me, tracing the outline of my face as though I were one of the buildings before us.
“Yeah, me too.”
The crack in her voice sends my eyes back to her, and for a girl whohad been avoiding me like my stare would make her burst into flames, she doesn’t shift them.
And while I have her attention, I don’t waste another second beforeI say, “You never answered my question.”
“Which one?” She asks, taking a sip of her punch, her eyes stillholding mine.
“Why are you here?”
I lost track of which parts of her eyes I’d roamed as she blinked,her lashes fluttering shut as she shifted her head back to face the city. “Oh, right.” Her smile pulled tight. “Let’s just say that I wasn’t raised the way most kids are. You know, first day of school pictures when you move up a grade, having your whole family attend your spelling bee’s and having that same group of people in the front row of your graduation ceremony.”
Her eyes caught mine for a moment, so I nodded, before shecarried on.“I didn’t have that. But instead I got to memorise the highways ofL.A. and see what the inside of every single production lot in Hollywood looked like. And all I was thinking when I’d get shown round those places was ‘Why aren’t I in school, where every other kid my age is?’”
The wind sent another harsh gust our way, making both of usstumble back and the curls fly behind Goldie’s shoulders. Again, I caught her eyes before her mouth pried open again.
“My parents never listened to me. Or my sister. All they cared about was how we looked in the media and how many acting job’s we had lined up. There was no interest in what we wanted. They never once asked us if we wanted to have that life…”
She took a breath, and I didn’t so much as blink as her chest roseand fell, completely captivated by her.
“I wasn't supposed to be here right now.” She finally put hereyes back on me. “I was supposed to be in London, filming some movie about… actually, I have no idea what it was about because I never cared enough to read the stupid script…” Her smile was anything but happy. “And then a few months back, after I’d already secretly applied to Liberty Grove and kept the acceptance letter hidden under my pillows, I broke.”
“What happened?” I asked, feeling like the words floated out of me.
“I found my voice.” This time, pride shone in her smile. “I finally confessed what I wanted and all the things I wanted to make up for that I’d missed growing up.”
“And that meant here?”
“It did.” She nodded. “And that’s why I was so hellbent on todaybeing perfect.”
The flashbacks to this morning filled my head, bumping into eachother and having to hand her my old band shirt because I’d made her spill coffee on hers–
“I’m sorry.” I whispered, earning back her stare that was tracingthe rim of her glass like her finger was. “If I ruined the day you’d been waiting for.”
She shook her head. “I wouldn’t say ruined is the right word.”
Guilt swam in my stomach, making it feel as though—
“Brightened.” She nodded to herself. “Yeah, that sounds better.”
Brightened.
The word shone in my head, like the strained beams of the sunsetwere shining over us, over whatever this moment was.
She doesn’t know it, but that was the only thing I needed to hear today to make being here not sound like a punishment. To make it feel like my only purpose whilst I was here wasn’t just to right the wrongs I’d been sucked into.
Out of the corner of my eye, I notice her shuffle, and when Ishift my eyes back down to her I see her raise her empty glass between us
“To parents who don’t believe in their kids’ dreams.”
I study her for a second longer, the story she’d read me a faintdream in my mind, when the one I’d painted for her weaved between the lines, but before I could second guess my lies I let my voice go soft, clinking my flute with her. “Cheers.”
Her giggle mingles with the chime of our glasses, but right as itsettles, a few not-so-subtle whispers sound out from behind me, forcing both my and Goldie’s attention on wherever it came from.
My eyes land on three girls who all dart their eyes in oppositedirections when I notice them, my body doing nothing but sighing.
I keep my eyes on Goldie as I watch hers flick between me and whoever was behind me.“Looks like you’re groupies have tracked you down, Rockstar, so I’ll take that as my cue to head back to the guys. Wouldn’t want to cramp your style.”
Her smile spurs on something deep in my soul, but before I can tellher that I’d rather spend the rest of the night learning about her, finding out the story that was dancing on the tip of her tongue a second ago, she heads for the crowd, the pastel colours that sat around her body becoming lost in the sea of freshman.
.