22. chapter twenty two
chapter twenty two
is this the end?
“ I t’s complicated. Look, I’ve got to go, we’ll catch up soon!”
Atta girl , I thought to myself, as I watched Goldie turn away fromHenry, my body hidden behind one of the archways. I'd stopped in my tracks the second I heard his voice, and when I turned to find him hovering over her, I slipped into the shadows.
That kind smile that always lived on her face faltered as she turned her back to him and sped off down another hallway, only for his fade.
I wondered what made her change her mind about him. She couldhave very well just ignored my warning and gone after him, but part of me prayed that she wouldn’t. And seeing Henry’s face right now, red as a phone booth and steam practically simmering under the golden mop he calls a haircut, I’m glad I made the right decision to tell her.
She deserves more than that arsehole.
I watched on as Henry scrubbed his hands overhis face, wiping away any evidence of the boyish smile he thought he could convince the world was real. But as he peels his hands away, those navy eyes find me, and before I know it, he’s storming over to me with a stride that was purely fueled by anger.
It was a good thing we were the same height; if he were any taller,he might have had a chance at intimidating me.
His hot breath hit my face as he reached me, his head tiltedslightly and his fist balled by his side, like a toddler who didn’t know what to do with all the frustration trapped inside them. “You fucking told her, didn’t you?”
It wasn’t a question, which told me that he knew what he’d told meat the Lions game wasn’t right. But I simply tilted my head and pulled my smile tight. “I’m sorry, do I know you?”
His palm met the centre of my chest as he pushed me, my feetstumbling back a step or two before I blinked up at him. “What I told you at the game, you fucking told her, you asshole.”
I shook my head at him as I bit the inside of my cheek. “Goldie’s asmart girl; she probably came to her conclusion about you all by herself.”
As my words settled, Henry took a step back, almost like he wassizing me up.
If Henry had scared me, then I would have backed up, andsurrendered in the moment. But he didn’t, not one bit.
Henry was a comet, born in the frozen corners of the universe, butI was an asteroid, the kind of destructive rock that thrived under the light and attention of the sun. He was all ice, cold as anything, with not an ounce of sympathy coursing through his veins, with no chance of surviving near Goldie and the light she emitted on the world.
He shook his head at me, his eyes knowing, and narrowed, as he pushed his glasses further up the bridge of his nose. “You’re fucking her, aren’t you?”
I scoffed. “Christ, is that all you fucking think about, mate?”
“Admit it.” He pushed, as he took a step closer.
“Not that it’s any of your business who that girl decides to spendher time with, but no, we’re not.”
He shrugged, rather pathetically. “Then what the fuck is yourproblem?”
The scoff that sounded this time felt like razor blades slicing up mythroat. “Oh fucking hell, do you need your prescription checked? You’re the fucking problem, dickhead. You sat there and told me that if, by some miracle, you bagged Gold’s, then you wouldn’t hesitate to fuck someone else right after her.” Disgust powered my head shake. “And I know for a fact that that girl deserves a lot more than what you’re offering her, mate.” I began to turn. “Now if you’ll excuse me, you’re awfully boring, and if I’m being honest, I’d rather set myself on fire than talk to you any longer, so t’ra.”
I dish Henry a gleaming smile before I step around him, wanderingtowards the empty corridor that was filled with the harsh light of the golden hour. The dust particles floating in front of me, as the soft breeze blew through the wide hallway, with my footsteps the only sound echoing through the halls as I turned the corner and found myself near where the fountain was.
The day Goldie found me and proposed our little dating plan to meflashed across my mind. The white lies mixed with half-truths that spilled from my mouth, making me question for a second whether I was any better than Henry. If not being honest with her, pretending I knew what it felt like to be in her shoes, meant I was just like him.
But whatever answer I came up with soon faded the second I hearda second set of footsteps, closing in on me from behind.
I turned around to find Henry storming after me with a sinisterlook on his face. I couldn’t help but laugh once I saw him. “Don’t you have white chocolate to sell or something—”
“Shut the fuck up, Tristan.” His face was like stone, all rigid and icy.“You don’t think I’m good enough for her, but what about you? You think you’re such a saint?”
The inside of my cheek slid between my teeth. “I might not be asaint but I’m not like you, that’s for sure. Now, do me a favour and fuck off—”
“Does she know why you’re here?”
My heart stopped beating, and silence fell between us.
I swallowed. “What do you mean—”
“You know exactly what I mean, Tristan.”
His face was smug; the evil kind that I knew lived under that sweetmask he sewed onto his face every morning. But there was no way, no way he knew—
“July 12th, a week-long stay in the hospital; is that ringing anybells?”
Oh no. No. No. No.
There was no way Henry could know about what happened that day.
It wasn’t humanly possible. The press didn’t find out, and the hospital agreed to keep quiet; they had to. No, there was no way for him to know that's why I was here.
I simply looked at him, my dead eyes boring into his as my lipsquivered under the weight of the word, “How?”
His smile pulled tight as his head tilted. “My dad isn’t the mostorganised of men, always leaving so many precious documents—”
I pulled my head back. “Dad? What the fuck does your dad have todo with this?”
Something that looked like offence washed over his eyes. “DeanSommerford. My Dad. Did you not brush up on your figureheads before you got here?” Before I could answer, he beat me to it. “Oh, well, I suppose if the only reason you're here is to get clean, then it’s not like you’re a real student anyway; why would you?”
I felt the bile in my stomach bubble, rising up and burning me fromthe inside out. “You don’t know a fucking thing, mate.”
His eyes brightened. “Oh, sure, I do. It was all right there in theletter from your parents explaining why you needed a spot this year—something about you needing to get away from the wrong crowds after… What was it, an overdose?”
I couldn’t breathe, and every time I tried to, I was pushed furtherand further back into the memories from that night. Breathless, alone, inches away from death, and there was not a fucking thing I could do about it. Not a thing I could do to change the past that got me here. I couldn’t un-trust the people who made me like this. I couldn’t turn down whatever shit they were pushing on me. I couldn’t slap myself into realising that the idea of being the person everyone wanted to know was blinding me from the reality I was sinking into.
The one that landed me in the middle of the road in the dead ofnight.
My death bed, if I hadn’t been found.
“Here’s what’s going to happen,” Henry's voice cut through the air,pulling me back into the reality I was desperate to escape. There was something dark in his tone, something that twisted with pleasure at what he was about to say.
“The next time you see Goldie, you’re going to undo whateverbullshit you’ve told her about me. Tell her I’m a good guy, make it convincing—because if you don’t…” He leaned in, his voice lowering to a hiss, “I’ll tell her why you’re really here. And believe me, once she knows, you'll lose her. And everyone else. You’ll be alone, just like you deserve.”
The threat lingered, more sinister than I could have imagined. Hedidn’t just want control—he wanted me to suffer. To watch everything slip through my fingers. To see me lose everything.
“Why are you doing this?” My voice came out quieter than I wanted,barely masking the disbelief tangled with a hint of desperation. I searched his face, looking for some kind of answer that made sense, but all I saw was the cold gleam in his eyes. “You don’t even know me.”
Henry’s smirk deepened, but he didn’t answer right away. He juststood there, watching me squirm under the weight of his threat, like he was savouring it. "Does it matter?" he finally said, tilting his head as if I’d asked something ridiculous. "You just make sure she hears what I want her to hear."
He didn’t need to say it out loud. The look in his eyes, the way herelished this moment—it wasn’t about Goldie, or even what I’d said. He liked this. Liked that he had me cornered, that I couldn’t fight back without losing everything. And the worst part? He knew it too.
Not an ounce of emotion shone on my face as I shook it. “I can’t.”
“And why not?”
“I…”
Henry stepped closer, invading what little space remained betweenus. His voice was low, venomous. “Stay the fuck away from her, or everyone in this place will know what a pathetic little druggy artist you are.”
I flinched. Even though the voices in my head were screaming at mefor being a hypocrite—for letting that word sink its claws into me—I couldn’t help it. The way it hit me, the way it dragged me right back to the person I used to be, scared and cornered, was enough to make my stomach churn. It didn’t matter if Henry saw the crack in my armour; I saw it, and that was enough.
He took a step back, sizing me up with that smug look, like he knewhe had me pinned. And he did. He had the upper hand in ways I couldn’t even begin to untangle. That’s why I couldn’t find the words. Why I couldn’t do anything but stand there, silent, as the weight of his threat settled over me.
He knows that would ruin me; I can see it in his eyes.
Those eyes rake up and down my body one last time before hemoves, pushes his palm against my shoulder and starts to walk away, into the shadows that were beginning to loom over the campus now the day had ended.
I don’t turn around to watch him.
I don’t flinch, or breathe.
And I don’t hold anything in as I walk over to the fountain, take aseat on the edge, and start to cry into my hands. I rest my elbows on my knees and cry, into my balled fists as they rest on my face. I think about that night and all the memories I promised myself I’d try to forget. They played in my head like a horror film.
The ache I felt in my body that night seemed to manifest in mybones, set along my veins and wrap around my lungs.
I was dying again. My life was slipping from my grasp.
And then I thought of Goldie, how I'd so nearly kissed her before, and wondered if she'd let me that close to her if she found out the truth. Wondered what she’d say.
She’d say I was a liar. That I wasn’t the person she thought I was,and made her see me as the person I didn’t want to be anymore. The type of person I warned her away from.
I didn’t want the girl I was slowly falling for, who I told myself Iwasn’t allowed to fall for, to find out I wasn’t the guy she’d trusted with the most vulnerable parts of herself.
Maybe I was an asteroid, but the thing about asteroids was thatthey stole light from the sun, draining its power as they orbited it. Goldie didn’t deserve someone who was going to poison her air and drain her from all the good that lived in her, just as much she didn’t deserve Henry’s underestimated destruction.
I adored that girl too much to lie to her. I wasn’t going to send thatfucker anywhere near her direction, or try and convince her he was an angel after I flipped on her and told her what a scumbag he was.
I didn’t know what to do, but as I sat there on the floor by thefountain, crying in the final minutes of golden hour, I tried to find ways out of this, tried a plot an ending where Goldie wouldn’t see me as the guy I never wanted to be.
But it was impossible, so much light couldn’t survive that muchdarkness, not without falling into the abyss itself.
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