Chapter 3
Nix
The first thing I saw when I opened my tent was white.
Everywhere.
I closed my eyes as a strong gust of wind chilled me to the bone. I wrapped my arms around my middle, pushing the thick black hoodie against my skin, trying to keep the warmth in as I stared at the nightmare unfolding right in front of me.
Snow.
I’d known it was coming. Had known it was just a matter of time.
Honestly, I’d been expecting this to happen for days.
It didn’t mean I’d stopped dreading it. The change of seasons was finally here.
Strong rains and wind mixed with bright, warm fall days were giving way to the cold darkness of winter.
I took a deep breath, inhaling the icy but clear air that tasted crisp and sharp in a way I had never experienced before, taking it deep into my lungs until it hurt. Just like everything hurt. My face, my hands, my heart.
How could something so ethereally beautiful be so painful?
I didn’t know how long I kept staring at the scenery in front of me.
The clearing that’d been green grass and brown leaves yesterday was now a plush white.
The grey sky had given way to a bright blue, the sun shining through the bare branches covered in blankets of snow, hitting my face, taunting me.
A part of me wanted to lie down in the snow and roll around in it. It looked comfortable and peaceful. The world seemed quieter somehow. An almost reverent silence. As if nature itself was in awe of the thick white blanket covering everything, sparkling like crystals in the bright sunlight.
In the end, I turned around and headed back into my tent and closed the heavy canvas behind me, attempting to shut out the cold.
It didn’t work; it never did. It dulled the worst of the weather, but with me not daring to start a fire and with my magic almost completely depleted, I was fighting a losing battle.
My feet were numb as I put on the first pair of socks. Thick, woollen ones Levi had given me. Then I slipped into the second pair, even thicker ones, and climbed back under the covers of my sleeping bag. Still, I couldn’t help the shivers running through my body as I grabbed the last protein bar.
I closed my eyes as a wave of despair ripped through me.
I’d run out of food—and Levi was still in Vancouver.
Yes, I could go into town and ask Herb for leftover baked goods, but… did I dare? Did I have the energy to?
Did I even have a choice?
Without food, I’d get weaker by the day.
I bit into the protein bar, chewing slowly, savouring each bite, but it was still gone way too fast. My stomach cramped, gnarly hunger tightening my gut.
I ran my hands through my hair. It was longer now, overgrown, way past pretty. But being on the run meant finding a hairdresser to take care of the mess on top of my head was very, very low on my list.
I was lacking the bare necessities. Food. Shelter—a weather-appropriate one. Cooking supplies. Warmth. Access to a warm shower.
Closing my eyes, I felt for the well inside me. It was deep, but also almost empty. I was running on fumes.
Just give up, that voice in my head said. The voice was just so fucking exhausted and tired. Talk to the pack.
And then what?
They’d either kick me out for hiding in their territory for months and bringing danger to their front door, or… or I might end up in a worse situation. A slave.
Would that really be worse than this?
I didn’t know anymore. I didn’t know anything anymore.
If Levi were here… maybe I’d be ready to talk. I’d given myself a deadline. The first snow.
Now it had arrived, but Levi, the only person I thought I might dare speak to, wasn’t here. He was in Vancouver.
And I couldn’t go to the pack. Not without talking to him first.
If they found out who I was, what I was, they’d figure out what Levi was in a heartbeat. And if they turned out to be just like the other wolves, I wouldn’t just be signing my fate… I’d be signing Levi’s too.
I stared at the camping cooker in distaste, hating just how relieved I was to have it.
I placed a pot on top, turned it on, and waited for the beans to warm.
Their aroma filled the tent. My mouth watered, my stomach growling with hunger, my fingers trembling as I reached out and stirred with a spoon as the liquid surrounding the beans started to bubble.
Food.
I had food.
Warm food.
Tears leaked from my eyes as I kept watching the equipment.
It might buy me some time. Just a couple of days until Levi was back. Maybe a week. It couldn’t be that long now. Levi had been gone for two weeks already.
I could ask him, of course. He’d given me a phone and a power bank so I could check in with him, but I tried to conserve the battery, so I only powered the phone on for an hour every day.
Levi texted daily, checking in to see whether I was okay. Of course, I always replied yes. He needed to focus on the court appearances, on his mate, his family. It wasn’t fair to add to that by letting him worry about me too.
We both knew my answers were lies, though. Even with the camping gear and the food I’d stolen, I wasn’t sure how long I’d be able to keep going.
Maybe I should ask Levi when he’d be back. Just so I’d have a timeline.
Then again, I didn’t want him to think he needed to hurry. I didn’t want him to think I needed him to leave everything behind and come back for me. He’d do it in a heartbeat. He was good like that.
But I didn’t deserve it. He’d already done way more than I deserved.
I carefully reached out, put out the camping cooker, then grabbed the long handle of the pot and lifted it up, taking it with me to my makeshift bed. I placed the pot on the floor in front of the thin mattress and stared at the contents, clutching my stomach.
It was stolen.
Everything in front of me was stolen. The pot, the beans, even the fucking spoon.
Still, I couldn’t help but savour every single bite.
By the time I’d eaten maybe half of the beans, my stomach was already full, and I felt sick at the thought of eating as much as another spoonful. I closed my eyes, breathing against the onslaught of nausea.
The well inside me flickered a little, magic returning in tune with my getting sustenance. It wasn’t much, just enough to keep the barrier working, but not enough to heat the air for the night.
Here was hoping Levi came back soon.