Chapter 19
Nix
They were gone.
Holy shit, they were actually gone.
I stared at the forest outside the barrier, feeling for Bear and his two cronies to make sure they were actually leaving—and they were. Their auras were getting weaker by the second. They’d probably had a car waiting for them close by that they were using as their getaway now.
It was almost too easy, the way they’d been defeated. Six months of being hunted down like an animal, and now it was over within minutes.
I walked away from the flurry of action around me. There were more ATVs coming, a tarp was being spread, and sweatpants handed out like candy. They were working like a well-oiled machine to take care of the situation while I… just couldn’t believe it was really over.
No one was waiting for me to ease up, to get sloppy, or to make a mistake. No one was waiting with a collar in their hands until I ran out of steam.
I took a deep breath, desperate to get more oxygen into my lungs as my vision began to swim, but I couldn’t breathe. There was a lump in my throat blocking my airway, a rope around my neck choking me, and…
Warm arms encircled me, pulling me into a tight hug as my cheek was smushed against an incredibly warm chest.
“Breathe,” Gray whispered, his hand drawing circles on my back. “Just breathe.”
Easier said than done, but I tried to follow his command, nonetheless. I willed my heart to slow down, willed the feeling of being suffocated away. I swallowed the lump until my airways felt free and greedily sucked icy air into my lungs.
“You’re okay,” Gray whispered so low I was sure no one but me could hear him. “You’re free.”
Tears sprang to my eyes, and I’d have doubled over if not for Gray’s arms holding me up.
Free.
The word echoed in my mind, a concept too foreign to fully grasp. I’d never been truly free. Not as a child, not as a teen, and definitely not as an adult.
What did I even do now?
My heart rate kicked up again, a whole new set of thoughts assaulting my mind. I had no education. I was technically an illegal immigrant. No job. No house. Nothing to…
“You’re spiralling,” Gray said, keeping me pressed against his chest as he rested his chin on top of my head. “That’s okay. It’s a lot. But I’m here. Every step of the way. I promise you, I’m here. And you’re okay. Breathe.”
I took another deep breath, the cold burning in my lungs.
“And out.”
I released the air from my lungs, let it out in a slow and steady stream. And with the air, the tension left my body.
“Again.”
I closed my eyes and did what Gray said.
I inhaled deeply and let it go. Five times, six, just listening to his rumbling voice, feeling the vibrations in his chest as the tension washed away, leaving me utterly drained and tired.
As if this fight hadn’t been over before I even arrived.
As if I’d actually taken part in it. As if I’d run a marathon.
I guess, in a way, I had. I’d run from Southern California to British Columbia. I’d run for six months straight. Never able to relax completely, always looking over my shoulder, always prepared for an attack.
“Better?” Gray asked after a while.
I nodded, but hugged him tighter, squeezing him with everything I had. I wasn’t ready for him to let go. Wasn’t ready for his warmth to leave me or to lose the safety of his arms.
I looked up at him, right into his dark, burning eyes, at his full lips that were tilted into a gentle smile. They were tempting. Looking all kinds of plush and soft when I knew they were firm and a bit dry.
The blood was gone from his face too.
I furrowed my brow. What… when…
“I cleaned myself with snow,” he explained and let out a small laugh, then pulled a grimace as he looked at me.
“I’m sorry I kissed you with blood all over my face.
And I’m sorry I smeared blood all over your face.
Here, let me clean you up.” Before I could protest, his arms were gone, and he’d leaned down to gather snow in his hands, waiting for it to melt.
“I can help,” I said, placing my hands over his, sending out thrills of magic to heat the snow until it’d melted completely and the water was a nice, comfortable temperature.
Gray laughed. “Damn, I should’ve asked you to do the same for me.” He kept his hands formed into a bowl and waited for me to wash my face.
“Better?” I asked as I scrubbed over a spot on my cheek that felt crusty and tight.
“Yes.” Gray nodded and shook off the water. “Perfect, actually.”
I laughed, but my heart skipped a beat, and the bond inside my chest pulsed so intensely I stumbled right back into his arms. Gray chuckled, his eyes fixated on my lips.
“You said I could kiss you again…”
I didn’t wait for him to finish his question; I grabbed him by the back of his neck and pulled his face down, fusing our lips with conviction.
My magic pulsed, a wave of energy rushing through my veins as heat pooled in my gut.
His lips were dry and warm and perfect, his tongue hot as he dipped into my mouth, exploring me with urgency.
I groaned, pulling him closer while my cock jerked in my jeans. My magic was going crazy, my body aflame, and I just… holy shit.
I panted, desperately trying to catch my breath, though for a completely different reason than a few minutes ago.
If I’d known kissing was this great, I might’ve tried it earlier.
Gray laughed, equally out of breath as me, his sweatpants visibly tented. “You’re fire,” he said with a chuckle. “I should’ve known. You’re Phoenix after all.”
I didn’t say anything, just leaned back against him, my ear pressed against his chest as I listened to his heart thundering. I’d done that.
Gray wrapped me up in his arms, his warmth and scent surrounding me, and I let out a sigh. This. This was what peace looked like.
It was a startling realization to come to. That I felt safe in the arms of a shifter. Completely safe. So safe that I only noticed someone was standing right next to me when they cleared their throat.
“The bodies are loaded up. We just need to clean up the blood, then we’re all done,” Rhett said, his eyes shifting from Gray to me. “Do we have to shovel it into bags, or is there a way for you to take care of it?”
I bit my lip.
“Would it be sufficient to melt the snow and let the blood and water soak the ground?”
Rhett shrugged. “Should work just fine. There’s fresh snow coming tomorrow, so every sign of a fight will be gone by tomorrow night.”
With a sigh, I stepped out of Gray’s arms and followed Rhett back to where the wolves had crashed into the barrier.
My stomach cramped as I looked at the three pools of blood on the ground.
I was responsible for that. My stomach churned at the thought, but there was also a lightness inside me.
The absence of fear that used to weigh me down.
I should feel bad, and I did, but I was also okay with what had happened.
I was responsible for their deaths, but it wasn’t my fault. If they hadn’t tried to enslave me, none of this would’ve happened.
Closing my eyes, I sent out my magic, heating the snow and blood until everything had melted.
“Done,” I said after a couple of seconds and looked at the now-brown forest floor in front of me for one last time before turning around.
It was over.
The threat was truly gone.
I was sitting behind Gray on an ATV, the helmet he’d provided on my head, holding on to him for dear life.
Why did he have to be so broad and big all over?
I couldn’t even get my arms all the way around him.
Not that I’d usually complain, but right this minute, it was kind of terrifying.
The way we were driving over the uneven forest floor, through the snow, getting thrown to the left or the right when we drove over roots.
“Are you okay?” Gray’s voice echoed inside the helmet, making me flinch. It was distorted and sounded far away, even though the Bluetooth speaker was inside the helmet.
“Yes?”
Gray laughed. “I can scent your fear.”
Great. Just perfect.
I rolled my eyes—he definitely couldn’t see that.
“I feel like I’m on a roller coaster. FYI, I’m not a fan of roller coasters.” Not that I’d ever actually been on one, but this was exactly what I imagined the ride to be like, and that was all the experience I needed.
Gray barked out a laugh, but the ATV slowed down significantly.
“Sorry.”
I breathed a sigh of relief as the ride became smoother and I could actually see something aside from trees swooshing by.
Another problem with Gray being such a giant was that I couldn’t look over his shoulder.
If I looked straight ahead, I was staring at his back, and while he definitely had a nice, muscular back, it didn’t help me in any shape or form to get a feeling for when we’d drive down a decline or over bumpy roots.
Where were we going anyway?
This wasn’t the way Gray’s dad and I had taken, was it?
No. We’d used a real road to get to the barrier, and the drive through the forest hadn’t been long at all, whereas we’d been driving through the forest for half an hour already now.
Or had I just been so lost in my mind on my way to the battlefield that I completely underestimated how much time it’d taken us to get there?
“Uhm…” I said into the nothingness of the helmet. Gray had said mine had a microphone too. “Are we going back to the packhouse?”
Gray’s aura shifted a bit, the happy calm picking up speed, swirling with nerves.
“I was gonna show you my home. My real home. If you want to. Sorry, I probably should’ve asked, but I thought you could use a bit of time away from the packhouse to decompress and, you know, deal with what happened today in peace.”
He was… this guy… I hugged him tighter, pressing my cheek—well, more like my helmet—against his back. My eyes itched and prickled, and then tears welled over, running down my face and soaking the padding of the helmet. I didn’t care.
“Thank you,” I whispered, not sure if I’d spoken loud enough for the microphone to pick it up.
“You’re welcome,” Gray answered, his aura calming again, his wolf happy too.