Chapter 10
TEN
ALEX
It strikes me that I’m becoming obsessed when I’m standing on the quad waiting for the three dots floating in my text thread with Lainey to turn into words. In fact, I’m not becoming obsessed, I’m already there.
It’s time I admit to myself how much I look forward to texting her, thinking about the next time I’ll see her, even reading books she likes just so I have more reasons to talk to her.
Hockey has been the only thing to dominate my attention since the first time I held a stick in my hands.
A girl has never come close to competing with my focus on hockey, let alone surpass it.
Yet Lainey occupies all my thoughts after a week and a half. When I’m at practice, weight training, on the team bus for an away game, kicking the rookies’ asses on Playstation, during classes, between classes, eating, sleeping—all the fucking time.
I’ve always kept girls at arm’s length, believing they’d be a distraction I couldn’t afford.
It helped weed out anyone who thought I could give them more than something physical.
Sex is an outlet for me. It’s fun. Blows off steam.
I didn’t think I’d care about the other things that make a relationship work—the feelings, thinking about another person all the time, considering their needs before mine.
I never knew it could be like this. Not even when I suggested this fake dating cover as an impulsive excuse to be around her.
Is it weird to go from someone who is strictly hookups only to wanting to spend all my free time with the girl I’m supposed to be pretending to date in such a short time?
Maybe.
Do I care?
Not one goddamn bit.
My boys can bust my balls for it all they want. I’m owning my shit: I’m obsessed with my teammate’s sister.
I want to laugh at myself because my heart does an odd squeeze in my chest when she responds.
Lainey
In the library. I came to study and start my next paper, but I finished that. Now I’m working on final BFB prep.
It’s only been a handful of days since I last saw her, yet I’m pushing my legs to move faster.
The dopey ass smile on my face is out of my control. Theo would give me so much shit for acting like this if he saw me.
Alex
Don’t go anywhere. My class ended early. I’m heading your way.
Lainey
Do you need to talk to me about something? You don’t have to come to the library. I’ll be finished in a little bit.
Alex
Nah, I just thought I’d come hang out. Spend time with my girl since I didn’t get to see you over the weekend See you soon.
Our game schedule took us to Minnesota State for a non-conference roadie that we didn’t get back from until late Sunday night.
The coaches have been working us extra hard in practice since we have a Thursday home game against Northeastern followed by a rare weekend off coming up at the end of this week.
Tucking my phone away, I hustle to the library. I’ve never been here.
My major is in communications—something I picked because it’s easy to manage since I’m only here as a stepping stone to the NHL. I do the bare minimum required to maintain my eligibility to play. The ice is where my real job happens.
I manage to navigate the main lobby once I swipe my student card to get in. My brows lift at the glass dome over the atrium with four mezzanine floors of bookshelves. In the center of the room, there are tables with students busy at work on their assignments.
Sometimes I forget this is the point of college for most people who aren’t here on the athlete track.
It doesn’t take long to find Lainey. I hang back for a minute to watch her. Warmth spreads through my chest. I rub at the phantom sensation, stomach tightening.
Lainey is cute. She twirls strands of dark blonde hair around a finger while making notes in her journal. Her glasses sit low on her nose. I’m distracted by the way she sucks her bottom lip into her mouth as she reads.
Rubbing my hands together, I approach her from behind. Powerless to stop myself from indulging in what I want, I gather her hair to the side and bend to kiss the junction of exposed skin at her shoulder and neck.
She startles with a strangled cry, clapping a hand over her mouth. Wide-eyed, she peers around at the people staring at us from the other tables.
“Sorry,” she murmurs.
A chuckle slips out of me as I take a seat beside her. “I didn’t mean to give you a jump scare.”
She levels me with a sardonic look as she regains her composure, propping her chin on her hand. “And I didn’t think any hockey players knew how to find the library.”
The corner of my mouth kicks up. Draping an arm across the back of her chair, I tease her earlobe with my lips, keeping my voice low.
“I know the library’s the best spot on campus. Top floor, rarely used reference section. The trick is to stay quiet so no one catches you while you fool around.”
She’s fucking adorable when her mouth pops open in shock like that. “You’ve had sex in here?”
“Not yet. Had this bio major ride my fingers while she was on a study break for her finals last year, though.” I play with her hair. “Have you?”
“N-no, of course not.” Cheeks tinged pink, she clears her throat and packs up her things. “I’m ready to go.”
“Mm, good. Meet me on the top floor in five minutes. I’ll show you the best spot to finger your…” I scan the tables around us, smirking at the two students doing a poor job of pretending they’re not listening. “Pages.”
Her wild gaze flies to mine. “Alex!”
God, when she says my name like that all breathy and strained it does things to me. I quell the thrill that shoots through me.
“Just playing around, sweetheart. I’ve never done any of that. This is my first time here. I’m sorry.” I kiss her temple and offer to carry her stuff. She holds on to her tote bag. “I like it when you turn all red like that. You’re pretty when you’re flustered.”
“I—you don’t mean that.” Her eyes dart around on our way out. “You know all the right things to say. You’re good at this. Pretending.”
Her voice goes so quiet at the end, I have to strain to hear her while we walk across campus in the direction of the dorms. My lopsided grin falls once the word registers.
“I’m not.”
Because I don’t think I’m pretending.
I’m not sure when, but sometime in the last week I forgot we were supposed to be faking this. I haven’t thought about what happens after her dance. The idea of getting with any other girl is the last thing on my mind, let alone looking at the ones who like to flirt with me.
Maybe it was the moment I saw Lainey in my jersey, or when I first stepped between her and Mike with protectiveness thundering through me, or seeing her light up talking about the book she’s reading.
All of these things I might have missed if I wasn’t paying attention like I am now.
Hell, maybe this pull toward her has been there since I caught the glimpse of her in the kitchen and it’s been dormant until she reawakened it. I can’t pinpoint it.
All I know is I want this with her now. I’ve never allowed myself to get close enough to someone to have a relationship. This isn’t the distraction I worried it could be. Not with her.
I like being around her. She’s been here all along and I regret that it’s taken me so long to become aware of her again.
I’m not willing to let this go. I love hockey, but the way I feel when I’m with her is something special I know I have to chase. To keep.
My gaze slides to study her profile. She remains quiet, maybe as lost in her own thoughts as I am. The cold’s turned her nose red. Looking at her makes my heart race and my stomach feel weird in a good way. It’s a buzzing energy, like when I score a goal or get a killer assist on the ice.
“Lainey,” I rasp.
Her steps falter at my urgent tone. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah. I will be.” I snake an arm around her waist. “Come here.”
“What are you—?”
The end of her question is muffled by my lips sealing over hers at last. Not her cheek. Not the corner of her mouth.
This isn’t an almost-kiss, it’s a real one. The kiss I secretly wanted four years ago in her kitchen.
There’s nothing fake about the way I claim her mouth, the kiss demanding and hungry. She gives herself over to me so sweetly, fumbling movements following my lead to kiss me back, mouth opening for me when I sweep my tongue against it.
Fuck. Heat sears through me. I’ve been with a lot of girls. How does a single kiss undo me?
Lainey remains still when we part. Her eyes are shut, her breath coming in sharp little pants that I want to swallow. My hold on her tightens.
One taste isn’t enough. I need more of her.