Chapter Twenty-Seven
Declan
“Sheriff.”
Hitting the button on the intercom, I answered, “Yes, Martha?”
“You have a visitor.”
Standing from my desk, I looked across the station and saw my older brother standing in front of Martha’s desk.
I fell back into my chair. Leaning back, I looked up at the ceiling. Why was he here? I knew he hadn’t left yet, but it had been days. He should have gone back to Boston by now.
Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath. The past few days had been hell. King wouldn’t talk to me. Maureen was pissed at me too. Even my daughter wasn’t my biggest fan. How the hell did my life flip upside down so fucking fast?
“Sheriff?” Martha called again.
Pressing the button, I wearily answered, “You can send him back, Martha.”
“Are you sure?”
I smiled at her protectiveness.
“Yes, I’m sure.”
A moment later, Sal walked into my office.
“She’s kind of a ballbuster, huh?”
“What do you want, Sal?”
I wasn’t in the mood for bullshit. Taking off his coat, he laid it over an empty chair, and sat in the opposite one.
“You need to talk to my son.”
Ignoring his command, I diverted the conversation. “Your son? That was fast.”
I watched him clench his fists as he tried to control his temper. We all had it, but none like Sal. I attributed that to his father’s DNA.
“He is my son. Had I been given a choice, I would have raised him.”
“And you know why Mom took that choice away from you.”
Nodding, he agreed, “I do. Doesn’t mean I like it. I understand why she did it. But it wasn’t her choice to make.”
“It never would have been yours. Darcy would never have continued with the pregnancy if Mom hadn’t stepped in.”
Leaning forward, his elbows rested on his knees and his hands hung between them.
“I understand that, too. That’s what gave me the strength to forgive her. Forty fucking years I lost, but if not for her, I wouldn’t have any.”
“He won’t leave.”
Sal smiled at me.
I didn’t mistake it for a smile of agreement, or even acquiescence. It was a pained smile. One that said he knew he had no choice but hated it just the same.
“I know. But he is willing to get to know me. That’s all I can expect right now.”
“So what’s your plan?” I asked, my fingers twined together over my stomach as I leaned back in my chair. To anyone watching, it would just look like two people having a conversation.
The reality was, we were two people walking a tight rope, side by side. Each participant wanting to push the other out of the way. Silently fighting to be the first one to reach the prize.
Jesus Christ, maybe Maureen was right. King wasn’t a fucking prize to possess.
“I have to get back to Boston. Find Tyran.” He looked to the side, and I saw his jaw tick. I knew that was painful for him. Tyran had been his best friend his whole life. To find out after over fifty years of friendship, that it was all destroyed in a single moment of revelation.
Turning back to me, he said, “I’d like to not wait another forty years to see you, brother.”
I blew out a breath before sitting forward. “Sal, I’m a cop.”
“That means we can’t be family?”
I searched his face, not sure what I was looking for. Could we be a family? We lived half a country apart, but was that far enough away?
“I honestly don’t know.”
Standing from his seat, he shoved his arms into his coat.
“I plan on visiting when my nephew is born.”
“Don’t let my daughter hear you say nephew. She insists on being surprised.” I smiled, thinking about my daughter. We had about five months left before we met my grandson.
“She reminds me so much of Mom. I wish I could have watched her grow up.”
“Me too,” I whispered to myself, not quietly enough.
Buttoning his coat, he looked over and shocked me with his words. “I never forgot about you, little brother. After Mom died, once I knew where you were, I kept an eye on you. The both of you. If I’d known she was pregnant when she left, I would have watched her too. I would have told you about your daughter.”
“What?”
“Connie. If I’d known, you would have had your daughter. Call me a selfish bastard, but I believe kids should be raised by the parents who want them. Despite what path they might take when they grow up. I would have given that to you, if I’d known.”
My brother turned to open the door, and I stood from my desk.
“Sal.”
He paused, his hand on the doorknob, but he didn’t turn around.
“I won’t apologize. Despite not being in her life, my daughter grew up to be a strong, confident, force of nature. She may have been a bitch, but her mother did that. Her grandmother did that. Finding her was the single greatest moment of my life. But seeing how happy she is with Blade. Seeing her with the friends she grew up with. The life she has. I wouldn’t change a thing if it meant there was even a chance she would have a life different from what she has now. That’s what a parent does. They sacrifice their own happiness to make sure their kids become the people they’re meant to be.”
I saw him clench the doorknob, his knuckles turning white. But I continued, “King wouldn’t be the man he is now if Mom hadn’t taken him away. Who knows what effect Eamon’s influence would have had on him. Yea, he became a criminal. But he still has morals. Mom did that. I did that.”
Sal’s shoulders lifted and fell with the deep breath he took, before he opened the door and walked out.
I knew that was an asshole move. But the truth was, Sal wasn’t just a criminal. He was a Mafia boss. The life King led in Arkansas. The drugs, the guns, the questions I refused to ask him. They all paled in comparison to what my brother was responsible for since he took over. I knew he killed his father. I don’t know why, but it didn’t matter. He wasn’t any different from what Eamon had been.
The idea that King could have grown up in that environment, one day killing Sal to take over. That wasn’t something I wanted to entertain.
I knew it would take a while for King to forgive me. If he ever did. But it didn’t matter. I would do it all over again. I would sacrifice everything for my family. My happiness meant nothing if King and Beck weren’t happy.
Staring through the window of my office, I watched my brother walk out of my life. I observed the barely noticeable nod of his head as he looked at my deputies, Fergus Malone and Jackie Stilton.
The ringing of my phone pulled me back from my thoughts. Looking down, I saw my daughter’s name.
“Hey, baby girl.”
“Hey, Dad, can you come to the clubhouse for dinner tonight?”
Sitting down in my chair, I pinched the bridge of my nose.
“I don’t know. I’m not exactly welcome there.”
“Dad, we found out what we’re having, and I want you to be there when we tell everyone.”
Dropping my hand, I smiled wide. “I thought you wanted to wait?”
“Yea, well, Micah pointed out that everything I wanted to buy for the nursery was either for a boy or a girl, so if I want to get anything done before the little one gets here, then I needed to know.”
“So why don’t you just tell me now.”
“Because I don’t know.”
“What you mean you don’t know?”
“The doctor put it in an envelope and sealed it. We want to open it up with everyone there. Will you come?”
“Yeah, baby, I’ll be there after work.”
“Thanks, Dad. I’ll see you tonight!”
She hung up the phone, and I sat there for a few minutes, thinking about everything that had happened since I found my daughter. The things I’d done. The lines I crossed. All for her.
I wasn’t lying when I told Sal I wouldn’t change a thing. Was I happy my daughter had a hard life? No. But I couldn’t imagine her being anyone other than who she was. Could she be the same person, or better, if I had been in her life? Maybe.
One thing I knew for sure, King wouldn’t be the man he was today without the life he lived. Without a doubt, growing up in Boston would not have made him a better man. In fact, there was no guarantee he would even still be alive.
My mother did the right thing. My decision to follow her path was the right choice. No one would convince me otherwise.
Pulling into the clubhouse, I turned off the ignition and sat there for a few moments, watching the door.
Tapping on my window caught my attention, and I climbed out.
“Glad you’re here,” Blade said. “She would have been upset if you hadn’t come.”
“I will never deny my daughter anything that is within my power.”
“I know, and she knows. It doesn’t stop her from hearing her mother’s voice though.” Slapping me on the back, he said, “Come on. She’s champing at the bit. I don’t think she’ll make it through dinner.”
I followed Blade inside and found my daughter waiting. Pulling her in for a hug, I whispered, “I am so fucking proud of the woman you are.”
“Dad. Don’t make me cry.”
Stepping back, I added, “I mean it. You are going to be the most amazing mother.”
I wiped the tears from her cheeks and kissed her forehead. “Ok, so, is dinner ready?”
Beck laughed and hugged me. “Almost. Once everyone is here, we were going to make the announcement, then have dinner.”
Blade was right. She was too excited to wait. Looking around, I clocked King sitting at the bar. He cut his gaze to mine before looking away. Sal was right. I needed to talk to him. But I had to wait until he was ready.
Searching the faces around the room, I wondered who wasn’t here yet, when the door opened and Maureen walked in, followed by a big black dog.
“What the fuck is that?” Jack yelled.
“It’s my dog. His name’s Tucker.”
“Is that a pit bull? You brought a pit bull into the clubhouse with children?”
“Jack, are you being a breed snob?” Maureen accused, her hands slamming onto her hips.
Before he could answer, Charlie, Chrissy, and Tabby ran in from the hallway. They took one look at the dog and squealed.
The dogs ears perked up and he barked.
Not waiting for a command, he ran over to the girls. Stopping just before he reached them, he laid down, rolled over, and gave them his belly.
All three girls dropped to their knees and piled on top of the dog, who just simply laid there, enjoying the attention.
“You were saying, Jack?”
Jack scowled and walked over to the dog. Reaching down for Charlie’s hand, the dog flipped over on his feet in front of Charlie and bared his teeth at Jack.
“Tucker, no!”
Maureen rushed over, getting between Jack and the dog. Placing her hand on the dog’s head, she murmured, “Friend.”
Taking Jack’s hand in hers, she brought it over for the dog to smell. “Friend,” she repeated.
After sniffing his hand, the dog sat down. “Pet his head, Jack, and tell him good boy.”
“Good boy? He snarled at me.”
“He thought you were a threat to Charlie. He was protecting her,” Maureen said, trying to convince Jack. “Pet him.”
Hesitantly, Jack reached over to pet the dog’s head. The dog rubbed up against Jack’s leg, almost as if he was trying to apologize. When he looked up at Jack with his big brown eyes, Jack relented. He kneeled down and rubbed the dog’s face with both hands.
“Good boy,” Jack said in a baby voice. “Where did you get him?”
“Banshee gave him to me the other day.”
Asshole. That must have been why he was at her house. I looked over at the man as he sat at the bar. Narrowing my eyes at him, he simply shrugged.
“Ok, everyone. We have some exciting news. We found out the sex of the baby today,” Blade called out to the room.
Beck was practically bouncing with excitement.
I leaned against the wall, watching as Blade opened the envelope. My daughter held onto his arm, trying to read it before him. Warmth spread through my chest. There was no better feeling than seeing your child so happy.
Tearing my eyes away for a moment, I looked at King. He wasn’t watching Blade and Beck. His eyes were on Grace. What was he thinking? Why was he keeping his distance? I saw the way he watched her any time she was within view. Hell, I was pretty sure everyone saw it. But no one said a word. At least not to him.
“It’s a boy!” Blade yelled, and I turned to my daughter, giving her a smug grin. I winked at her, and she laughed.
I knew it would be a boy.
“Do you have a name picked out?” Ellie asked.
Beck looked at me and nodded. I stood up from the wall when she walked over. She stood in front of me with tears in her eyes.
“I never had a dad growing up. Never thought I would have one. I thought about changing my last name after I found you, but...” She turned to look at Blade. “Someone reminded me when I get married, I would have a different last name. So...”
Turning back to me and rubbing a hand over her growing belly, she continued, “I decided, if this was a little boy, I wanted to honor the man who gave me life but just became a part of it. So his name will be Silas Declan Spade.”
I heard those around us, the women saying variations of aww , and that’s so sweet . The men regaling us with grunts and congratulations.
Me? I was speechless. Nothing came to me as I stared at my daughter. The daughter I’d just met. The one I was still getting to know, still bonding with. The daughter I loved the moment I knew about her. The daughter I grieved when I thought she would never get the chance to take her first breath.
“Daddy?” she quietly whispered. Asking me an unspoken question. I cleared my throat, the emotion so thick I wasn’t sure I could answer. I just pulled her into my arms.
“Thank you,” I croaked. “I love you, baby.”
“I love you too, Dad.”
Looking over her head, I caught Maureen watching us. A tear slipping down her cheek unbidden. She smiled at me, and I smiled back, hugging my daughter tighter. I never wanted to let her go.