Chapter Thirty-Two
Maureen
I woke up alone.
The single greatest night of my life, with the boy I had dreamed about my whole life, and I woke up alone.
I sat up, and Tucker scooted up from the foot of the bed to snuggle against me. That was when I heard the crinkle of the paper.
Looking over at the empty space where Declan slept last night, I found a note.
Good morning, gorgeous,
Last night was everything. Unfortunately, I have to go to work today. You were too pretty to wake up, so please forgive me for not kissing you.
I’m having lunch with Allie today at The Diner, if you want to stop by. Or come by the station. A full day is too long to suffer through without seeing your face and kissing those lips.
Love, Dec
P.S. I fed Tucker and took him outside
I couldn’t stop the smile as I read the note, or the butterflies I felt when I thought about last night. I hadn’t come here expecting to find someone. Certainly hadn’t expected to find Declan O’Rourke.
But I had to believe that Duane sent me here, knowing Declan was here, for a reason. I had come here for a chance to start over. A chance at a new life. Everything was new here.
New home.
New friends.
New love.
I was happy. For the first time in my life, I was truly happy. Not just content, not just satisfied. But happy.
I spent the morning building kitchen walls. Shiplap was a great thing. I didn’t want to mess with the mud and dust of sheetrock. And I loved the way it looked when it was done.
By lunchtime, I was two-thirds of the way through. I looked around at all I had accomplished since I moved to Diamond Creek. I still had more to do, but damn was I proud of what I had achieved so far.
By myself.
For myself.
Leaving my tools out, knowing I would finish up after lunch, I sat down on the couch with Tucker.
“Now, I know we have spent all our time together since you got here, but I don’t think Joellen is going to let you into her diner. And it is too cold to leave you in the truck. So you have to stay here.”
The dog looked at me like I was an anomaly. Like he wasn’t quite sure why I was explaining this to him.
“You’ll be ok though. You can just hang out here, lay on the sofa, and take a nap, right? You won’t pee on my nice new floors, will you? If you do have to pee, please use the kitchen. That floor isn’t done yet.”
I was trying to reason with a dog. Shaking my head, I stood from the couch, and Tucker just laid there. Sometimes, I thought dogs were smarter than us humans.
Grabbing my coat and keys, I walked outside and shuddered in the cold. The temperatures here had me second-guessing every decision I made leading up to moving here. I wasn’t sure how to describe it, but cold didn’t even come close.
The air was bitter against my face. My hands cramped and shriveled under the low temperature, to the point it was hard to open the door. I climbed up into my truck as quickly as I could. Starting the engine, I sat there shivering until it warmed up enough for me to grip the steering wheel.
When I got to The Diner, I considered leaving my truck running. Sadly, I didn’t know how long I would be in there and didn’t want to risk running out of gas.
The Diner was always busy at lunchtime. I looked around but didn’t see Declan or Allie, so I took a seat at the counter and waited.
And waited.
After sitting at the counter for forty minutes, I finally ordered lunch. I ate alone, watching my phone for any kind of response. Declan hadn’t answered the dozen or so times I called. He hadn’t responded to the numerous texts I sent him, either.
I was a middle-aged woman acting like a teenager, wondering if the boy who kissed her really liked her or was he just trying to prove to his friends that he could.
With a heavy sigh of reluctance, I admitted to myself that some things never changed. Men always held the power. Women just lived in this world, while men ran it.
“Hi.”
Turning to the voice, I watched as Rachel Masters sat on the stool next to me. I smiled at the beautiful woman. Beck told me Rachel had grown up with her, Micah, and Ryder. The Four Musketeers, she called them.
“Hi.”
“You were looking kind of forlorn over here. Everything ok?”
A bitter laughed escaped. “I’m good,” I said with a smile.
“That was pretty convincing I have to say. If you had skipped the sarcastic laugh at the beginning, I wouldn’t have even questioned if you were lying or not.” Rachel stole one of my fries and popped it into her mouth. “Let me guess, boy trouble? A certain broody sheriff who also likes to pretend that the world hasn’t screwed him over his whole life?”
I took a good look at Rachel. Her blonde hair and made-up face, combined with her tight jeans and the cut she wore, did a good job of making her seem like just another biker chick. But there was more to her than I imagined most people saw at first glance.
“You’re more than I expected.”
“I know. I like to keep people guessing.” She winked, stealing another fry. “So, what did he do?”
Shaking my head, I turned away. I wasn’t talking to a child about my love life. “It’s nothing.”
“Look, Maureen, I know I don’t know you well. But I know the sheriff. Whatever he did, it isn’t about you. It’s all the shit he’s been dealing with since his daughter came back to town. The poor man has been tossed and turned like a ship in a tornado.”
“Tornados don’t usually effect ships.”
“Exactly. He’s been dealing with a lot of shit that he wasn’t prepared for.”
I looked at my phone again, biting my lip.
“Can I ask you something, Rachel?”
“Ask me anything. I can’t promise I’ll have an answer, or that I can answer, but I’ll do my best.”
“This is going to sound weird, but I’ve never dated anyone before.”
Rachel tilted her head at me. “You were married.”
“I was, but we never dated. In my life, women were told what to do. I was told who I was going to marry when I was seventeen. Duane and I dated. But it was a formality to get to know each other, so that our wedding day wouldn’t be awkward. It wasn’t for us to see if we were compatible. It was to learn how to be.”
“So you’ve never gone through the whole ‘does he really like me?’ phase.” It wasn’t a question. She understood what I was saying.
I nodded, completely embarrassed that I was asking a twenty-five-year-old for advice.
“I get it. I mean, I don’t get it, but I get it.” She laughed. “Let me ease your concerns. He likes you. He’s probably a little gun-shy. What Beck’s mom did…” She shook her head, looking out the window.
“He told me about her.”
“He doesn’t know the half of it. He only knew her for a few months. I knew her my whole life.” She paused to take a deep breath. “Let me tell you this. His daughter is everything to him now. He missed out on so much of her life. If Beck loves you, Dec will let himself love you, too.”
“Yea, we had that talk. About him letting himself be happy. I’m not sure he can do that. I’m not sure he would ever put himself first.”
“Would you really want him to?”
“Someone has to put him first,” I whispered.
“Would that be your job?”
I studied the girl sitting next to me. She may be young enough to be my daughter, but she was wiser than I was. Because she was right. It was my job to put him first. To take care of him when he was taking care of everyone else.
Why was I even questioning him? He didn’t ghost me, as Colleen called it. He left a note. He fed my dog, so it was one less thing I had to do today.
“You’re right. Thank you, Rachel.”
“You’re welcome, Maureen.” Rachel closed her eyes for a moment and rubbed at her temples.
“Are you ok?” I asked, my hand on her shoulder.
She smiled brightly at me. “Just a little headache. Must be that time of the month.”
We said our goodbyes, and I got in my truck. While I waited for it to heat up, I tried Declan again. When he didn’t answer, I decided to call the station.
That was useless. All the woman answering the phone would tell me was he was out on a call. Putting the truck in drive, I went home. What else could I do? I couldn’t drive all over town looking for him. I needed to get home and check on Tucker, and finish the walls in the kitchen.
So, that’s what I did.
I put Declan back into his little box in the back of my mind where he had always been, blasted my playlist of songs I could belt out, and got to work.
My kitchen walls were complete. There was still a lot to be done, but for now, it was no longer a shell.
I’d had dinner at the clubhouse, not wanting to go back to The Diner. I still hadn’t heard from Declan. Every time I called the station, the woman told me the same thing.
He was out on a call.
How many fucking calls could he have in one day? It’s not like Boston, where you heard sirens every two minutes. This was Nebraska. What could possibly have him out all goddamn day?
It was after nine o’clock when Tucker lifted his head and whimpered. He didn’t move until I heard the vehicle outside my door. Tucker barked once and jumped down, rushing to the door.
I knew who was here. Tucker had adjusted to Declan in less time than it took me to, that was for sure. He paced at the front door, waiting for the knock. When the doorknob rattled, I shook my head.
A light knock sounded, and I stood from my spot. Taking my time walking to the door, I thought about everything I wanted to say to him. All the thoughts that ran through my head all day. The worries about where he was, and what he was doing. The fear that something had happened to him.
But when I opened the door and saw him standing there, all I saw was a distraught man. The weight of the world seemed to press down on his shoulders, slumping his posture and etching lines of worry onto his face. His eyes didn’t shine when he looked at me. They were haunted. Like what he had dealt with today had broken him.
“What happened?”
I pulled him inside and closed the door. He gathered me in his arms and buried his face in my neck.
“It’s been a long fucking day, and I will tell you all about it, but right now, I just need to be inside you.”
He took my mouth like a starving man. He lifted me in his arms, and my legs went around his waist. He didn’t hesitate to walk me to my room and lay me on the bed.
“Stay there,” he commanded. Then walked out of the room.
I heard him talking to the dog for a moment before he returned, closing the door behind him. Declan sat on the chair in the corner and removed his boots. Standing, he removed his shirt and jeans, and I just watched.
I was completely captivated, my gaze locked on the man before me, his every move mesmerizing. My gaze traveled down until, just like last night, I stared at his hand as he stroked himself.
Biting my lip, I looked up when I heard him groan. What I saw in his eyes was a hunger like I had never experienced. His gaze paralyzed me. As his eyes roamed over my body, I felt every look. He eyed me like I was his prey.
Whatever happened today affected him. It made him angry. It made him rage. He needed an outlet for that, and I was ready to give it to him.
My pussy throbbed with anticipation for the release he needed. I could feel the moisture dripping, preparing me for the onslaught of emotions he needed to dispel.
He didn’t move closer. He just stood there, stroking the rigid flesh in his hand. His eyes held a question I wasn’t sure he was even aware he was asking. But I knew what he needed.
I crawled to the end of the bed, climbed down, and stood before him. My hands ran up his chest, over the taut muscles. They rippled beneath my fingertips, caused by the strain of him holding back.
I didn’t want him holding back. I wanted him to give up his control. To me. I wanted to be the haven for his surrender.
Pushing him back to the chair, he sat. I removed his hand from his cock and placed them on the arms of the chair.
“Don’t move,” I whispered.