Chapter Thirty-Four
CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR
A fter Freddie had jogged off toward the station, Sam sat back in her seat, trying to decompress before she switched into mom mode. She felt ridiculous for being depressed that Nick wouldn’t be there when she got home. It was two freaking nights, for crying out loud.
Thinking of Angela and how she had to spend all the nights remaining in her life without Spencer made Sam feel even worse for lamenting a two-night absence. She sent her sister a text. Checking in to see how you’re doing. Thinking of you all the time.
Angela didn’t respond immediately, probably because she was in the thick of dinner and bath time with her kids and doing it all on her own while eight months pregnant.
Sam texted Tracy. Hey, just checking in. Angela came to grief group the other night and was upset about being angry with Spence for putting her through this. I think the group was helpful, but it was a tough one.
Tracy wrote right back. She told me, and she said it did help to talk it out. She was glad you were there. I think she’s doing as well as can be expected. Not sure how she’s going to deal with two little kids AND a baby, but she’ll figure it out, and we’ll help her .
Yes, we will. I hate this for her. I’m over here moping bc Nick is away for two nights, and then I think of her, and it’s just unbearable.
Sure is. She posted this on Instagram today: “I miss your smile. I miss the feel of your hand in mine. I miss the way you loved our babies and the way you loved me. I miss you more every day. When I think it isn’t possible to miss you any more than I already do, I discover there’s more. A deep well of ache for you. Sometimes I’m angry that you left, but I know you didn’t leave because you wanted to. I love you forever, and I can’t wait to see you again.”
Oh God… I can’t bear it for her.
I know. It’s heartbreaking. I wish there was something we could do to make it easier for her, but there just isn’t.
No, there isn’t. I’m hoping the weekend at CD won’t suck. I almost can’t bear to go back there, but Nick needs the time away from the WH so badly.
Go and make new memories there. You can do it.
Hope so.
Mom brought the Easter outfits for the kids over today, and there’re bags in your closet for Easter baskets.
What would I ever do without you?
Happy to help! It’s fun to spend your money! HAHA
Thank you, Trace. SO, SO MUCH.
Love you, kid.
Love you, too.
It pained her to have to bring in help for basic mothering tasks like Easter baskets, but she’d learned to lean into her strengths and ask for help in the areas where she needed it. Tracy loved shopping and excelled at crafty things like creating memorable Easter baskets for the kids. Sam told herself it was about the love she gave to her kids, not who did the shopping for the baskets.
“Can I ask you something?” she said to Vernon and Jimmy.
“Anything,” Vernon said with a warm smile in the mirror.
“Is it awful that my sister took care of Easter clothes and baskets for my kids? ”
“I think it would be worse if no one did it,” Jimmy said.
“Yes,” Vernon said, “that’s true. The base is covered, and that’s what matters. The kids won’t know your sister did it.”
“Scotty will.”
“Do you think he’ll care when he wakes up to candy and treats and probably a few cool things in a basket with his name on it? And probably one for Skippy, too.”
Sam never would’ve thought of Skippy on her own, but was sure Tracy had. “Probably not.”
“Don’t beat yourself up for asking for help. If it was up to me, my kids never would’ve had an Easter basket, a birthday cake or a Christmas stocking. I had someone at home taking care of that for our family so I could focus on work. You made sure it got done, and that’s what matters.”
“I might not have even thought of it unless Tracy asked me.”
“You would’ve,” Jimmy said.
“If it’d been left to me, the three of us would’ve been at a convenience store near Camp David on Saturday night.”
The two men laughed.
“We’re actually off this weekend, so you’ll have the B team.”
“It wouldn’t have been as much fun to go to a convenience store with them.”
“Aw, thanks,” Vernon said. “That’s nice to hear.”
“I hope you guys are doing something fun with your families this weekend.”
“We’re going to my wife’s parents’ house in Annapolis,” Jimmy said. “The whole family is coming, and they’re having a baby shower for us, too.”
“That’ll be fun,” Sam said, making a mental note to arrange a gift for them.
“We’re doing dinner at the house with the girls and their families,” Vernon said. “Note that I’m not lifting a finger for any of this while my wife runs around all week getting ready.”
“That’s because you’re busy keeping me safe. ”
Vernon made eye contact in the mirror. “We all have our lanes.”
“Yes, we do. I’m not sure when this SUV became my confessional and therapist office combined, but thank you both for always being willing to talk it out with me.”
“We’re honored to be part of your daily life,” Vernon said.
“Indeed,” Jimmy added. “Coolest job ever.”
“I’m glad you think so.”
“Our colleagues envy us this assignment,” Jimmy said.
“They do? Really?”
“Oh hell yeah,” Vernon said. “Protecting the first working first lady while she hunts down murderers and sometimes captures them single-handedly? Although we did get a talking-to from HQ about that.”
“You did? Really?”
“Well, yes, Sam,” Vernon said with exasperation. “When you run out of the back of our SUV and tackle a guy on the sidewalk, there’s gonna be some questions about where your detail was when that was happening.”
“Oh shit.” She bit her lip so she wouldn’t laugh. “Sorry.”
He gave her a stern look in the mirror that played such a big part in their relationship. “I can hear you trying not to laugh.”
“I’m not laughing!”
“But you want to.”
“You can’t prove that.”
Cameron Green called as they pulled through the White House gates. “What’s up?”
“Frank Myerson wants to talk.”
“About what?”
“About Sunday and what happened to his wife.”
In a past life, she would’ve turned right around—or asked Vernon to turn right around, except he hadn’t been there in her past life—and gone back to work. In this life, where she had three children waiting to have dinner with her while their dad was away, she said, “Tell him we’ll be happy to talk to him in the morning.”
“I get the feeling he wants it to be tonight.”
“He’s going to have to wait. I’ll be there at eight, and we’ll take it from there.”
“I’ll let him know.”
“By the way, it’s not that I think you guys couldn’t handle it, but I’d like to be there to hear what he has to say, and I’ve got plans tonight. Besides, we don’t jump to the beat of his drummer. He had all day to talk to us, and I don’t believe for a second he’s looking to help us.”
“I agree. I’ll take care of it.”
“Thanks. See you in the morning.”
“Have a good night.”
“You, too.”
The BlackBerry vibrated with a text. Landed at LAX.
Are you seeing Hollywood people?
Maybe?
No way! WHO?
I don’t remember.
I can’t believe this. I need to quit my job and travel with you.
I won’t ever say no to that.
I’ll have Scotty find out who you’re with.
HAHA, he’ll have the dirt.
Just getting home and no Nick. That makes me very sad.
Love you. Miss you. Will call you later.
Love you, too.
But you don’t miss me?
Did you see what I said above??
Vernon opened the back door as she sent that text, shaking her head at her husband’s foolishness and wanting to wail over how much she missed him. Ridiculous. She wasn’t a woman who wailed over a man. But that man… That man was worth wailing over.
“What time tomorrow?” Vernon asked .
“Seven thirty?”
“We’ll be ready.”
“I have a dress fitting thing in Georgetown at six.”
“It’s on the schedule.”
“There’s a schedule?”
Vernon rolled his eyes. “Good night, Sam.”
“Good night, Vernon.”