Chapter Ten #2
“I was twenty-four when I was told for the first time that I might not be able to have babies because the endometriosis had left so much scar tissue. That came as a total shock to me. I mean… I knew things weren’t great in that area because of the way I’d suffered every month with intense pain, but it never occurred to me I was losing my fertility one month at a time until a doctor said those words out loud.
I was so shattered by that news I could barely function.
I was out of work for a week because I couldn’t get out of bed.
For the only time in my entire life, I wondered if it’d be easier to give up than to face a future without the children I’d dreamed of having someday.
Who would want to marry a woman who couldn’t have children? Who would love me?”
She kept expecting Ruiz to shut her down, but the captain stood by the door with her arms crossed, listening without seeming to blink.
Sam wiped away the tears that always showed up when she revisited this painful era, even after all these years.
“I was in a bad way for about three weeks.
I went so far as to fantasize about how I might end it all.
I had pills for the endometriosis pain. If I took them all, maybe I could escape the hell of this life-altering news.
I thought about it nonstop, every waking moment.
I dreamed about escaping the agony of physical pain and emotional anguish.
I was about to set a date to do it when my brother-in-law Mike called to tell me Tracy was in labor and asking for me.
“I didn’t want to go. I thought I was the last person who should be there when my sister was giving birth, knowing that would never be me.
I almost didn’t go, until I remembered the million and one ways that Tracy has been there for me all my life.
There’s never been a time when I needed her that she wasn’t right there to take care of me.
How could I stay away when she wanted me?
So I made myself go, and I was there when my nephew Ethan came into the world, making a huge racket, his face red and scrunchy with outrage.
He was so, so beautiful, and like with Brooke, I was in love from the first second I saw him.
I never again thought about taking those pills or harming myself, because my niece and nephew were there to soothe the ache.
They’d always be there. They were my kids as much as they were my sister’s. ”
She finally looked directly at Ruiz through the blur of tears.
“That’s who I’m looking for, Captain, the boy who saved my life once upon a time.
I’m sorry I didn’t follow your orders to the letter, but there’s nothing I won’t do to bring him home safely.
I have to save him the same way he once saved me. ”
Ruiz looked down at the floor, her face pulsing with tension, obviously moved by Sam’s story. “I understand what he means to you, but we have to do this by the book so we don’t screw up a potential prosecution. You know that as well as I do.”
“You’re right, and at the meeting, I’ll brief you on everything I know.
I spoke to Luna Ahern’s parents and got Archie’s team and CSU started at their house.
I’ve asked my friends Avery Hill and Jesse Best for help.
I spent all night reading about the horrors of incel culture.
I’ve done things anyone in my position would do to help find a missing family member. ”
“What else have you done?” Ruiz asked.
“I tried to find the family of a kid named Brecken Mayfield at their last known address. The neighbor told me they moved quite some time ago, and she doesn’t know where they went.
If I had to pose a theory at this juncture, I’d guess that Brecken, who was several years older than the three missing kids, was interested in Luna.
She wanted nothing to do with him, so he recruited two boys close in age to her to befriend her and try to get her to come out to meet them.
I can’t prove any of this, but that’s my guess from what we know so far.
We’ve learned there’re active parole violation warrants for him and his father, Asher.
“From what I read about incel culture, this isn’t something people stumble into. Someone in their life leads them to it, perhaps a father, older brother or someone else close to them.”
“That’s a good thought,” Ruiz said. “Why don’t you work on that until the meeting at zero eight hundred?”
“I’ll do that.”
“Let me know what you find out.”
“I will. Thank you, Captain. I’m sorry for not keeping you posted on my efforts. I’m running on pure adrenaline.”
Ruiz gave a brief nod and left the room, closing the door.
Malone blew out a low whistle. “Well done, Sam. You took the starch right out of her spine.”
“But at what cost?” Nick asked, his beautiful hazel eyes full of love as he looked at her.
She’d felt him watching her throughout the entire encounter with Ruiz. “It was worth it to make her understand where I’m coming from.”
“She knows where you’re coming from,” Malone said, “and that’s why you were told to stand down.”
Sam smiled at him. “Yes, you’re right, but now she knows the whole story.”
“For what it’s worth,” Malone said, “I’m glad you called Avery and Jesse.
I want to find these missing kids. I don’t care what we have to do to make that happen or who else we need to bring in to get it done.
That said, please collaborate with Ruiz going forward.
I don’t need any more screaming matches today. ”
“I’m sorry you were subjected to the first one because of me.”
“I’ll get over it. Let’s get to work and find these kids.”
“Yes, sir.”