Chapter Thirty-One #2
She couldn’t recall the last time she’d spent the night alone with the kids. Mike used to travel a lot for work, but a series of promotions had made it so he rarely left the DC area these days. It’d been years since she’d spent a night without him.
It was strange to know that he was gone, even though it’d been necessary to her that he leave.
She couldn’t bear to look at him and realize how close they’d come to utter catastrophe, so it was good to take some time apart and figure out the next steps without the pressure of having to deal with each other.
Upstairs, she stood in the doorway to Ethan’s room, watching him sleep, bathed in the glow of a nightlight that hadn’t been used in years. She was swamped with relief and gratitude that he was home where he belonged, but overwhelmed with grief for Luna’s family.
Tracy could’ve stood there all night, keeping watch over him, but she was exhausted and desperately hoping she could sleep—for a little while, anyway. After she checked on Abby, she went into the room she shared with Mike, which felt lonely and bereft tonight without him.
Not that she regretted asking him to leave, because she didn’t.
She didn’t have the bandwidth to contend with him and the rage at the same time she was tending to Ethan.
He was the only thing that mattered right now, and he would have her full attention, as would Abby, who’d have questions in the bright light of day that she’d been too tired to ask tonight.
Tracy could only hope she would have the answers that Abby needed, because she couldn’t explain a lot of it to herself quite yet. She’d also have to deal with the kids asking where Mike was, a thought that made her even more exhausted than she already was.
In bed, she checked her phone for the first time in hours and found more than a hundred messages from family and friends. She didn’t have the fortitude to scroll through them tonight, but the outpouring made her feel loved and supported, until she read a message from Nick.
Sam is asleep, but she’d want me to tell you that in the morning, we’ll be all over making sure Ethan’s name isn’t tied to Luna’s murder.
Don’t go online. Don’t read what people are saying.
They’re only saying that shit because he’s my nephew, and I will fix this for him—and for your family.
Once they hear the full story, we have to believe everything will be fine.
We love you, and we’ll take care of you.
A sob ripped from Tracy’s chest as the dam finally broke.
People were talking about them. They were talking about her precious, innocent child and tying his name to the murder of a beautiful young girl.
Now she wondered how many of those hundred text messages waiting on her phone were actually supportive.
Whatever was blowing up online had to be terrible for Nick to reach out about it with all he had to do. He had to be distraught that the higher profile their entire family had as a result of him being president was causing people to be extra interested in Ethan’s disappearance in the first place.
She’d take his advice, and she wouldn’t look at anything online so she’d have a prayer of getting some rest. She shut off the light and closed her eyes, trying to clear her mind of the horrors of the last few days, already knowing she’d never forget any of it.
Despite the rage, despite the directive for him to leave, all she wanted at a time like this was Mike, and that she couldn’t turn to him for comfort was unbelievable.
That she might never have him to turn to again broke her once again.
She hadn’t cried like this since her dad died.
Even Spencer’s untimely death and all the associated grief hadn’t hit her this hard.
“Mommy.”
Abby’s soft voice from the doorway had Tracy trying to get herself under control so she wouldn’t scare her baby.
“Can I come in?”
“Of course. Come here, honey.”
Abby crawled up on the bed and into Tracy’s arms.
“Did something else happen?”
“No, sweetie. I’m sorry if I scared you.”
“I thought you’d feel better now that Ethan is home safe.”
“I do feel better, I’m so, so relieved he’s home and he’s safe.”
“Then why are you crying?”
“It’s all catching up to me, I suppose. What happened, what could’ve happened, what happened to Luna… All of it.”
“Where’s Daddy?”
“He’s… He went out for a while.”
“Why?”
“We needed a little time to ourselves.”
“Will he come back tomorrow?”
“I don’t know yet. Sometimes mommies and daddies need a little break from each other. It’s nothing to worry about.”
“I am worried. You’ve never needed a break from each other before.”
“I don’t want you to be upset. We both love you very much, and we always will. If it’s okay with you, maybe we could just snuggle and talk more in the morning. Tomorrow will be another day, and we can talk about anything on your mind then. Okay?”
Abby nodded and burrowed deeper into Tracy’s embrace.
“I’m glad you’re here with me. You’re still the best snuggle bug ever.”
“Better than Brooke and Ethan?”
“Better than anyone, but let’s make that our little secret.”
Her soft giggle was just what Tracy needed as she closed her eyes, took a deep breath and tried to sleep.