Chapter Thirty-Five
After pizza, ice cream and posing for photos with the delightful staff, they took two pizzas to-go for Tracy, Angela and the kids and headed to Tracy’s house.
Sam was looking forward to spending some time with her sisters, nieces and nephews and getting a sense for how they could best support Tracy and Ethan through this difficult time.
The sisters had exchanged texts earlier, about reminding the older kids that the younger ones didn’t know about what’d happened to Ethan and agreed they wanted to keep it that way.
Their arrival with pizza was heralded with much excitement from the kids and their moms. Even Ethan, who’d been resting on the sofa, sat up to greet them.
“Now I don’t have to worry about dinner tonight,” Angela said. “Yay for Auntie Sam!”
Scotty gave Tracy a long hug and said something to her that had Sam’s sister smiling and teary-eyed.
“You’re the sweetest boy,” Tracy said.
“I’m a man, and I ain’t sweet.”
“You are if we say you are.”
“And we say you are,” Sam and Angela said together.
“That sister thing is creepy,” he said as he went to find Jack and Ethan.
“How’s Ethan?” Sam asked when it was just the three sisters in the kitchen.
“He’s been quiet today, but he’s up, and he ate, and…
I guess he’s okay. His therapist, Christi, came by earlier, and they talked for a bit, but he didn’t have much to say.
She said he’s still processing it and will probably have more to say going forward.
Finding out he’s the subject of online conspiracies didn’t help. ”
“How’d he hear about that?” Sam asked.
“One of his friends stopped by to see how he was doing, and when I let him talk to Ethan, he mentioned it. I forgot to ask him not to.”
“We forget that their whole lives are online these days,” Sam said.
“I’m not thinking straight, or I would’ve thought to ask him not to say anything.”
“Of course you would have,” Angela said.
“I hate that he knows people are talking about him that way.”
“He would’ve heard about it the minute he returned to school,” Sam said, “so maybe it’s better he knows now and can process all of it at the same time.”
“You guys don’t have any cigarettes, do you?” Tracy asked.
“Ah, no,” Sam said. “I haven’t had one since the last time I smoked with you guys.” That, too, had happened the week she’d reconnected with Nick after John O’Connor’s murder.
“Kinda pregnant over here,” Angela said. “None for me.”
“I might go buy some.”
“Don’t start that up again, Trace,” Sam said.
“If it helps my anxiety, why not?”
“Have you talked to Mike?”
“He called to ask how Ethan is doing, but that was it.”
“You’ll let him see the kids, won’t you?” Ang asked tentatively.
“He can come by sometime, but he can’t stay.”
“Trace…” The single word from Angela conveyed a world of agony. “You can’t mean to freeze him out entirely.”
“That’s exactly what I mean to do. He’s proven I can’t trust him to make sound decisions for our children. We got lucky this time.” She made air quotes around the word lucky. “Our son is only traumatized, not dead. I’m not giving him another chance to decide what Ethan and Abby are allowed to do.”
“That’s reasonable,” Sam said. “If he comes back, you’re in charge of the kids. Nonnegotiable.”
“It’s not that simple. Imagine if Nick or Spencer allowed your children to do something that nearly got one of them killed, after you tried to tell him it was unwise. Add to it that he was condescending and dismissive of your concerns. Would you be so quick to forgive?”
“Probably not,” Sam said, even as she couldn’t imagine a scenario where she’d feel that way about Nick. Often, he was the voice of reason when it came to their kids, while she advocated a looser approach, which was kind of funny since she was the cop.
“Yeah, it wouldn’t be simple,” Angela said. “That’s for sure.”
“I know you guys love Mike. I love Mike. But I’m very, very angry about his role in allowing something like this to happen, and it won’t be fixed overnight, if ever.”
“Fair enough,” Sam said. “You’ll tell us what we can do to help?”
“The statements the MPD and Nick’s team issued seem to have helped. From what I’m hearing, a lot of people are telling the conspiracy peddlers to stand down and stop preying on innocent kids. I just hope it’s not too little too late to preserve his reputation.”
“He had nothing to do with what happened to Luna,” Sam said. “The case is being made against the men who did, and Ethan won’t be charged with anything. He’s a victim of a crime.”
“You know that, and I know that, but it’s what everyone else thinks that matters. Will the stuff that was said about him in the last twelve hours keep him out of college someday or make it so he can’t get a job?”
“I hope not,” Sam said.
“We all know it’s possible this’ll haunt him for the rest of his life—and that’s why I’ll be hard-pressed to forgive Mike.”
“Don’t think we don’t understand, because we do,” Sam said. “It’s just that we love you both, and it’s hard for us to imagine a world where you’re not together and happy.”
“We haven’t been happy in a while,” Tracy confessed, taking her sisters by surprise.
“Since when?” Angela said.
“Probably around the time Brooke was attacked. Things changed between us after that. I was consumed with her, and he was often critical of how I was handling things.”
“How were you supposed to handle such a thing?” Sam asked.
“Who knows? It’s not like there’s a handbook on what to do when your daughter is drugged and gang-raped at a party where other kids were murdered. I handled it the best way I knew how, by loving her through it. Apparently, I didn’t save enough love for him.”
Angela crossed her arms and looked down at the floor. “That doesn’t sound like him.”
“You don’t live with him. He’s quick with the critique and to tell me how he would’ve done something differently.
When he started saying I was being overprotective of Ethan because of what’d happened to Brooke, and how it wasn’t fair to Ethan…
After a while, I started doubting my own judgment.
Like, maybe he was right, and I was wrong. ”
“He wasn’t right,” Sam said. “You were.”
“And I knew that. I absolutely knew it, but he’d already given an inch, and that was just enough space in the parental unity for Ethan to walk right through the door into freedom.
” Tracy wiped away a tear. “Mike never intended for something like this to happen. I know that, and I feel for him. I really do. But I’m so fucking angry. ”
“You have every right to be, Trace,” Sam said.
“I must’ve pissed someone off in a past life to have this stuff happen to two of my kids.”
“You’re a great mom, and you’ve never done anything to anyone that would make it so you deserve this.” Sam glanced at Angela, who was still looking at the floor. “Right, Ang?”
“Definitely.”
“Are you okay?” Sam asked Angela.
She nodded and then just as quickly shook her head. “I feel so guilty.” She glanced at Tracy. “I let Mike stay at my house last night, and I’m scared you’re going to hate me for that.”
“How’d that happen?”
“When I couldn’t reach you, I called him to see how Ethan was doing. He told me you’d asked him to leave, and I said he should stay with us. I’m sorry if that adds to your anger, Trace, but I felt so bad for him.”
“It’s fine. I’d rather he stay with you than run up the credit card at a hotel.”
“Really? You’re not mad?”
“I’m sad and worried and anxious and devastated, but I’m not mad at you.
I get that you guys love him like a brother, and I’ve always wanted that.
I’d never ask you to turn your backs on him.
But please… Don’t push me when it comes to him.
If and when I talk to him, it’ll be when I’m ready and not one second before. ”
Sam hugged her. “Whatever you need.” After she released her sister, she went to look in on the kids in the living room. Scotty, Jack and Alden were sitting with Ethan on the sofa while Abby braided Aubrey’s hair as Ella looked on. Sam signaled to her sisters. “Come see our babies.”
They peeked through the door together.
“It’s good for him to have the kids around,” Tracy said. “Especially Scotty. He looks up to him.”
“He has been so concerned about Ethan. He asked to see him today.”
“Tell me he’s going to be okay.”
“He will be,” Angela said.
“It might not happen overnight,” Sam said, “but he’ll get through this, and so will you.”
“I sure hope you’re right, because right now, it feels like I’m staring up yet another mountain that has to be climbed to get my child back on track.”
Sam put her arm around Tracy. “If anyone is capable of climbing that mountain, it’s you.”
At lunchtime on that Tuesday, Archie bought Chinese takeout for his team since they’d been working overtime on the missing children and Carver cases.
After the food arrived, the group gathered in the conference room to eat like the ravenous wildebeests they were when free food was put in front of them.
Archie sat with them for a few minutes before taking his box of rice and chicken, along with a set of chopsticks, with him when he went down two flights of stairs to the city jail.
He nodded to the sergeant on duty and made his way to the last cell on the right, where he took a seat on the floor across from the cell to eat his lunch.
He’d waited to do this until he was almost certain he’d be able to maintain the upper hand and never let on how utterly devastated he’d been by what his ex-colleague had done to the woman Archie loved. He still wasn’t completely sure that he wouldn’t be tempted to murder the guy.
Dylan Offenbach noticed him right away but stayed seated on the bed inside the cell while Archie silently ate his lunch.
“What do you want?” Offenbach finally asked.
“I wanted to see you inside a cell. I have to say it’s every bit as satisfying as I’d hoped it would be.”
“Fuck off, Archie. You brought this on yourself.”
“How’s that?”