Chapter Thirty-Six #2
He forced himself to stand upright, and fuck, that hurt. “Where’s Memphis Rose Costello?”
“She was moved to a regular room earlier today.”
“Oh.”
“No one told you?”
When he tried to shake his head, he immediately regretted it.
She eyed him. “What’s wrong with you?”
“Slept wrong in the chair last night. Woke up crooked.”
“Ouch. Come to the desk. I’ll write down an over-the-counter med you can get that should help.”
“Thanks.”
At the desk, she produced a slip of paper with the name of the med and the number 471.
“That’s the room she was moved to.”
“Thank you.”
“She’s a special person,” the nurse added.
“Yes.”
“And her mother and grandmother are a couple of characters. We all enjoyed getting to know them.”
“Thanks for taking good care of her.”
“Are you two…”
“Yeah, we are,” he said with a deep sigh as the reality of the situation settled with unflinching certainty. “We are.”
“I was going to ask if you wanted to grab a drink sometime, but instead, I’ll hope for all the best for you and Memphis.”
“Thanks again for everything. Tell the others, too.”
“I will. Good luck to you.”
She had no way to know that he’d need all the luck he could get. On the fourth floor, he followed the noise to room 471, where Beatrice and Alberta held court. The three of them were laughing like they were at a party rather than in a hospital room after Memphis had been nearly killed.
Jesse stood in the doorway, looking at her in the bed, her eyes dancing with amusement at whatever her mother and grandmother were talking about, and he was struck dumb by how fucking beautiful she was.
Ever since he’d lost Jordan so suddenly, he’d resisted caring about anyone else, knowing all too well how gut-wrenching it was to lose someone who couldn’t be replaced.
In those clarifying seconds, he understood that he’d come to a fork in the road.
He could either push her away and learn to live without her, too, or he could acknowledge that she’d changed his life forever, for better or worse, and break all his personal rules for self-preservation to let her all the way in.
“Ladies.”
They all noticed him at the same time and went silent. He’d spent enough time with them to know how unusual silence was for them.
“I was about to text to tell you they moved me,” Memphis said.
Jesse gazed at her, unblinking, drinking in the sight of her sweet face, relieved to see some of the rosiness returning to her cheeks. “I just came from the ICU, where I got the word.”
He was slightly aware of Beatrice nudging Alberta, and then the two of them kissed Memphis and told her they’d be back in a while before they left the room, leaving a cloud of perfume in their wake as they brushed by Jesse.
“Was it something I said?” he asked as he moved closer to her, unable to resist the undeniable pull.
“It’s more what you don’t say. They think you’re a glowering lunkhead who doesn’t speak unless he has to.”
“They figured me out kinda quick.”
She snorted out a laugh. “You’re not hard to figure out, Best.”
He could tell he surprised her when he went around to the left side of her bed, away from her injured leg, perched on the edge of the mattress and took her hand.
“Why are you still crooked?”
“Really effed up my neck. The ICU nurse told me what to get for it.”
“You should go get what you need.”
“I will, but first…” He glanced down at their joined hands. “I want to tell you…”
She put her other hand on top of his. “What do you want to tell me?”
“You know how I lost my sister.”
“Yes, and I ache for you. We all do.”
“We had… It was a rough childhood. Our grandparents took our mother to court to get custody. It was ugly. Both parents were drug addicts. We only saw them sporadically, and the grandparents were okay, but bitter about having to raise another generation of kids. Jordan was the only person in my entire life that I’ve ever truly loved, and when she disappeared…
It was like something vital inside me ceased to function. ”
“Jesse,” she whispered tearfully. “I’m so sorry you’ve been missing her for all this time. I… I’ve tried to find her.”
He looked up at her so quickly that he winced from the pain that shot through his neck. “You have?”
She nodded. “It’s what we do. We find people, and I figured maybe a fresh look would help. But there’s just… There’s nothing.”
“Believe me, I know, but it means a lot that you tried.”
“I’d give anything to fix this for you.”
Hearing her say that, knowing she’d been looking for Jordan, he realized his path forward had become crystal clear. “I said Jordan was the only person I’ve ever truly loved, and that was true for most of my life. Until recently.”
She seemed to hold her breath, waiting to hear what else he would say.
“I love you, Memphis Rose, and I’ll be honest… I didn’t want to.”
Laughing as tears slid down her cheeks, she said, “No kidding. Really?”
“This is no time for sarcasm. I’m being serious.”
She made a comical effort to stop laughing, but her gorgeous eyes still danced with delight as she let him twist in the wind. “As you were saying…”
“Often, when one person says they love someone, the other person is required to say it back.”
She raised a brow. “Required to?”
“It’s the polite thing to do, but if you’re intent on making me suffer the way I’ve made you suffer…” He moved to get up and instantly regretted it.
“Sit your ass down and give me a second, will you? I was unprepared for you to come in here and say these things. I thought…”
“What did you think?”
“That maybe it was never going to happen between us. That you were too sealed off to ever let anyone else in.”
“I tried to be, but despite my best efforts, you managed to break the seal.”
“How does it feel?”
“Terrifying.”
“Why?”
“Look at how close I came to losing you, too. How am I supposed to move around in the world feeling this way about someone I can’t protect for every minute of every day?”
“Come here.”
“I’m here.”
“Come all the way.”
“I don’t want to hurt your leg.”
“You won’t if you move carefully.”
“That’s the only way I can move today, thanks to that godforsaken chair. And don’t laugh. It’s not funny.”
“It’s a little funny how the Tin Man—before the oilcan—told me he loves me.”
He kicked off his boots and got on the bed, moving slowly so he wouldn’t hurt either of them.
“Why’d I have to fall for a smartass like you, anyway?”
“Because you would’ve been bored with anyone else.”
With his head next to hers on the pillow, he rested his hand on her face and moved his thumb over the softest skin he’d ever felt. “I’m not sure I would’ve survived losing you, too, so thanks for not dying.”
“You’re welcome.”
“Is there anything else you want to say to me?”
She seemed to give that some considerable thought. “That’s about it.”
“Memphis Rose…”
Laughing, she said, “I love you, too, you big idiot. I have for a long time, and I think you knew that, which is why you kept me at arm’s length.”
“I was also worried about messing up your very promising career.”
“What’re we going to do about that?”
“I’ll come clean to Lafferty, but I’ll say it’s a recent development. No need to confess to sneaking around behind his back for a year.”
“I’ve sort of wondered if he’s known all along but turned a blind eye because having me around made you more tolerable.”
His scowl made her laugh again. He loved when she laughed, even when she was laughing at him.
“If you tell him,” she added, “you’ll force him to do something about it when we could leave well enough alone and hope for the best.”
“It would kill me if I caused trouble in your career.”
“It’s a chance I’m willing to take to keep from being separated from you right when things are getting interesting.”
He raised himself up as much as he could without wanting to howl from the pain and pressed a soft kiss to her lips. “I’m sorry for what I’ve put you through. You deserve someone easier to deal with.”
“I suppose I could continue to look around for that guy while I hang out with you.”
He stared at her, momentarily stunned.
Her smile lit up her entire gorgeous face. “I wish I’d had a camera ready to take a picture of your face when I said that.”
“Stop fucking with me. It’s not funny.”
“It is funny, and, Jesse, my love, I’ve only just begun to fuck with you.”