Chapter 28 #2
“Shit, that’s it.” I toss my head back with a groan the further I sink into his mouth.
It doesn’t take long for his gag reflex to kick in, but the tell-tale squeezing on my glans is euphoric, and I revel in it.
“You’re doin’ so well,” I praise him as I drag my thumb along his hollowed cheek, back and forth, before dragging it down to his stretched lips.
He garbles something, and I chuckle. “You know I can’t understand you. But that’s okay. You don’t need to talk right now. You don’t need to do anything except feel,” I remind him as I graze his face and slowly thrust inside of him.
My cock is twitching the wetter his mouth gets. Saliva soaks my groin and drips between us, splashing onto my boots and the floor. “You’re such a dirty boy, Madison, fuck. I didn’t know you could suck cock like this.” I stare down at him with rapture, utterly amazed at the way he’s taking me.
He can only take half of me in his mouth without gagging, but that’s better than I thought he’d be able to.
He just keeps surprising me at every turn, my sweet little prize.
“Perfect,” I purr.
He moans, and the sound vibrates my cock, and I nearly spill down his throat.
I yank out of his mouth with a gasp. “Woah-oh, darlin’. Fuck.”
He’s on his knees, flushed and panting, and I’ve never seen a more perfect sight before me. “W-what…” He trips over his words, and I smirk.
“You’re too good at that, darlin’. I was about to lose myself,” I tell him honestly and earnestly.
“Oh,” he squeaks, and I think if he wasn’t already so flushed, he would be as red as he is now.
I drag my ungloved thumb down his hot, sweat-dampened cheek, smearing the wetness as I stare at him with a rapture that squeezes my heart in a way I’ve never felt before.
His vulnerability is shining through in a way I’ve never experienced. The way he’s just on his knees before me, open-mouthed and willing to do something he’s never done. Wanting and trying his hardest to make me feel good…
Turned on making me feel good…
My heart squeezes painfully in my chest at the thought of never having this again. Of this being it.
He’s just fuckin’ perfect.
“Where’d y-you go?” he asks, and I blink out of my reverie, disoriented as the room comes back into focus.
“Nowhere, treat. I’m right here,” I tell him as I stare down at him, thumb rubbing the tears and sweat from the corner of his eye.
“Static…” he breathes, and I feel it. The shift in the room. The poignant moment of this is it.
And it hurts.
“Tell me, darlin’,” I beg of him. I need him to say it because I can’t take this from him. Anything but this.
“Please,” is all he says, but for the first time, it’s not good enough.
I squeeze my eyes shut as my cock twitches from the pleading sound. They roll back into my head. “I need more than that,” I rasp, hating the desperation in my voice.
The tension in the room peaks.
And then, I feel movement against me.
Madison is standing on two shaky legs. His body slides against mine as he uses me to regain his balance. His clammy hands find respite on my biceps as he stands before me, but I can’t bring myself to open my eyes. Not without knowing what’s going to happen next.
He could reject me—which seems like the most probable option.
Who the fuck would want to fuck the psycho, obsessive clown?
Certainly not the perfect little angel…
“Static…” I feel his breath against my chest, and I shiver.
“Darlin’.”
“I’m scared,” he confesses, and I can’t help but chuckle as his admission breaks some of the tension that has built between us. “What’s funny?” he asks, sounding genuinely confused, and I shake my head, still laughing lightly.
“You, treat. You’re just… perfect.”
“I’m not,” he argues, and I disagree, but I don’t tell him that. I know he’ll never agree, but that’s okay. I’ll tell him every day forever until it sticks in his skull that he is.
My lips brush the top of his head.
And then, I stop breathing.
Tell him…
Every day…
Forever…
Fuck…
Fuck.
I’m in deep. Way too deep.
This wasn’t supposed to happen.
It wasn’t supposed to be this way.
Madison was a release. The best release I’d ever had—but a release, nonetheless. And he’s become so much more.
He fits with me like the sharpest jigsaw to my fucked-up edges, and I never thought someone like that could exist.
But there’s only one problem.
He…
I don’t think he feels the same way.
How could he when he’s utterly terrified of someone—something—that’s a part of me?
Static is who I am, partially. He’s who I get to be when I need a release of everything that’s going on in my life. He’s the perfect outlet—and a healthy one at that.
I know I could’ve chosen a million different things because of the way Kase and I grew up, but when the carnival job fell into our hands, it kind of just played out this way. Fate or whatever you want to call it.
I have no regrets because I wouldn’t be where I am. I wouldn’t be as… healthy…. As I am right now without Mayhem and the people that I work with, but Madison…
Fuck.
Madison has made me realize there’s more to life than just scarin’, partyin’, and fuckin’.
I want more.
And I want him.
But not if he doesn’t want me, too.
I can’t take his free will from him.
Not this time.
“Madison,” I breathe against him, nearly choking on the words. They burn as they come out, and I hate the sting in my eyes.
What the hell is wrong with me?
“What do you want?”
His bottom lip is trembling as he stares up at me, the white light flashing. “What do you mean?”
“Tell me,” I demand, grabbing the hair at the back of his head to tilt it back. “Tell me what you want from me.”
And in the span of ten seconds, I see it all flash before his eyes.
Worry, angst, fear. Indignation and resolve, before he finally settles on something close to determination if the hard set of his mouth is anything to go by.
I want to kiss it.
“I want you to take it all.”