December 26 （visa expires in 19 days）
When we got to my apartment I went straight to the bathroom and looked in the mirror.
I didn’t like what I saw. I needed a shave and there was a zit coming out on my nose.
I took off my glasses and rubbed my eyes.
They were dry, and it stung. I’m usually good about putting in eyedrops but I’d forgotten that day. Daniel appeared behind me.
“Why didn’t you tell me I look stoned?”
“I’m still in the phase where you always look good to me. I wouldn’t care if you were wearing purple eyeshadow.”
“Ugh. What use are you if you wouldn’t tell me if I have something in my teeth.”
I pushed him out of the room before he could answer. I needed some alone time. I’m not stupid, I knew it was rude. But I was in my own home, at midnight. This was my safe space where I could usually shed all my inhibitions and dance naked or bawl loudly.
I brushed my teeth and went out. Daniel was sitting on the sofa smiling at me.
“Why are you smiling?”
“Why not?”
“You should be offended, demand an apology. Where’s the drama?”
“We don’t have time for drama. It was funny and I’m glad you’re not polite with me. It’s so rare to find directness like that in New York.”
I’d already turned out the lights and was ready to say goodnight and go to sleep. Daniel had other plans.
“Come here.”
I sat down beside him, my mind suddenly racing. Moonlight softened the darkness.
“Do you have music on your phone?”
“Yes, but not the club-vibe variety,” I admitted a little abashed.
He asked to see, and I reluctantly handed it over.
“Better, Stronger, Titanium the slow version – wow, a real anti-depressant playlist.”
“That’s how I cope. Got a problem with it?”
“Not at all. We can dance without music.”
“Wait, what?”
Daniel stood up, took my hand and pulled me to my feet. He held me as if we were about to launch into a waltz.
“I haven’t got time to take you to a gala and show you off to the crowd. We’ll just have to imagine it all.”
“Imagine what?” I said as he led us around my tiny living room.
“Imagine we are in the middle of the dance floor, in a hall lit by countless sparkling chandeliers. There are hundreds of other elegantly dressed couples, but we ignore them.”
I did as he said and let my mind take me there.
“Tonight, it’s just you and me, dancing until dawn. We’re dancing with our hearts beating as one. We’re floating, free of the physical world. We’re spirits dancing together. The dance will eventually end, but we aren’t thinking about that now.”
My eyes were closed but I saw and felt it all. Our bodies were pressed close; it felt like we were joined from head to toe, merging into a single organism. I couldn’t think. I just heard his voice, his breath, his desire.
“Then we notice,” Daniel continued, “that there is interference from the physical world. Too many clothes. So we take them off, one piece at a time. Ties, belts, jackets, vests, shoes, socks, shirts, pants, shorts.”
We weren’t dancing anymore, and I opened my eyes.
His bright blue eyes and rosy lips mesmerized me.
Thankfully, in Thailand it takes all of three seconds to undress completely.
Then we danced again, naked, pressed as close as we could get to each other.
I felt him tremble and I wasn’t sure if it was excitement or hesitation.
But then my hands traveled over his back, as naturally as breathing.
And there, in his muscular arms, I felt infinite serenity.
Dancing was even more magical without clothes.
“And now, we float even higher, two souls who have found each other after lifetimes of searching, expressing our love in this dance. Can you see it?”
Daniel stopped and looked into my eyes. I think he cast a spell over me because I was beyond thought. We kissed, urgently, and then found our way to my bed.
“Daniel… I’ve never…”
“It’s ok. I’ve also never done this.”
We gazed at each other, and it felt like I was diving deep into those blue eyes.
“We don’t have to rush. I know we don’t have a lot of time, but why stress if we can just enjoy being together. Like this.” He pulled me into an embrace that felt like everything I had ever longed for had come true. “I’ll never regret spending a night holding you.”
I looked at him.
“What?” he asked when he saw my expression.
“Nothing. I just don’t buy it.”
“That’s because you still see me as that American guy, or maybe just a guy. But it’s alright. You still have plenty of time to get to know me.”
“Not really.”
“We still have plenty of time, and I plan to savor every moment. A moment we have together is more than an ordinary moment. Together we defy the laws of physics.”
“Ever heard of the theory of relativity?”
“Haven’t got time for fake news.”
“It’s not!”
“Prove it!”
“You’re impossible.”
“Yes. It’s clear you can’t stand me.”
I pulled the blanket over my head and grumbled that I wanted to sleep. I don’t know what happened next, but we woke up intertwined.
“What?” Daniel woke up and caught me staring at a part of his body he usually kept hidden.
“You said you’ve got a tattoo!”
Daniel burst out laughing.
“That’s what’s on your mind right now?”
“Were you messing with me?”
“I didn’t think you’d remember. Nope. No tattoo. I was just giving you a hard time.”
“Jerk.”
“I couldn’t have gotten a tattoo in the U.S. I was religious, remember?”
“I thought it might have been an expression of your rebelliousness.”
“I’ll get one if you insist…”
“Yes, sure. Get a tattoo – I’m such an asshole.”
We stared at one another and then I realized what he was about to do.
“Daniel!” I tried to jump out of bed, but he was faster and dragged me back. He held me tight and didn’t let go. It was the best morning of my life.