Chapter Nineteen
Kace gathered Tara against him and enjoyed the hum of his body after their lovemaking. His head didn’t hurt, the room wasn’t spinning, and a satisfaction washed over him as she tucked herself into his side and ran her fingers up and down his chest.
They would have to get up soon and go see his family. He should text someone and let them know they were running late, but his muscles melted into the bed. Unless his phone could levitate out of his pants and off the floor to him, he wasn’t moving.
“How do you feel?” He wanted to know if the sex had been as good for her. What they just shared was more than sex. Who was he kidding? He had never worried as much about his performance as he had today.
“Relaxed. Satisfied. Maybe a little hungry.” She giggled against his side.
“So you liked it?”
“How soon can we do it again?” She pushed up on her elbow and smiled at him.
He cupped her face and kissed her. She tasted sweet and familiar. Being with her was like crossing the finish line.
Her hand ran down his chest and gripped him, making him harder. The flush of excitement heated his skin. The hell with food and his family. He wanted to stay locked in this room away from the whole world and make love to her all night long.
His phone rang from deep in his pants pocket. He ignored it.
She eased out of the kiss. “Maybe you should get that.”
“They can leave a message. Please put your hand back where it was.” He teased her bottom lip between his teeth.
She did not do as he asked and turned her mouth from his. “What if it’s important? It could be one of your brothers or your mom. We never showed. They’re probably worried about you.”
He fought the urge to groan and leaned over the bed. He fumbled with his phone and his jeans. “They can stop worrying. I’m a grown man, not a little kid. If I need help, I’ll ask. When are they going to figure that out?”
“They love you. Let them do that.” Her simple words silenced him.
She stared at him with her wide gray eyes. The setting sun streamed in the window behind her and set her glowing. She stunned him with her beauty and compassion.
Gage’s name read on the screen. He did not want to answer this call, but the mood had been interrupted. “Hey.”
“Hey. We’re all here waiting. Everything okay?”
He wiped a hand over his face. Tara gathered the sheets around her and hopped out of bed. She went into the bathroom and closed the door. So much for a second lap around the track. “Yeah. It’s all good.” He shoved his legs in his briefs. “I was running late. Is Mom mad?”
The phone made a rustling sound as if Gage changed ears. “She was more worried. You didn’t answer her texts earlier. She knows about the fight between you and Jett, and then you didn’t show up without calling. Do you want to tell me what’s really up?”
He could say he just had the best sex of his life, but that wasn’t Gage’s or anyone’s business. “We’ll be there soon. Just apologize for me.”
“Kace, man, I know you don’t like talking about it, but I need to know if you’re getting worse because if you are, I swear I’ll scour the earth to find you the best doctor.”
Guilt pressed on his chest like a horse’s hoof. Gage would do anything for him, for all of them. As the oldest, Gage felt responsible for their safety and well-being. He also believed he had let Ajay down when he needed Gage most. That hadn’t been true, but since then, Gage watched over them all like a hawk, always trying to guess what they needed even when they didn’t need anything at all.
“I’m fine, really. You helping me the other day was huge. How about we do it again tomorrow?”
“Okay. Great. I’ll tell Mom to make you a plate, and I’ll stick around until you get here.”
“Are Jett and Lock there?” He dragged his shirt over his head and pulled on his jeans.
“Yeah. And there’s someone else here too.” Gage lowered his voice.
“Who?”
“Kennedy Stark. She said you two have a date tomorrow. Why would she say that?”
Tara came out of the bathroom.
He wanted to tell Gage to get rid of Kennedy before he and Tara arrived, but there was no way he could without Tara hearing and asking questions. He had forgotten about the race tomorrow and the promise to go. Kennedy would misunderstand what accompanying her meant. He couldn’t lead her on, and he had to tell Tara what was happening.
“Kace, are you still there?”
“What? Yeah. We’ll be there in ten minutes.” He hung up before Gage could say anything else.
“Is everything all right?” Tara had dressed and reapplied the lip gloss he had kissed off.
He stole a glance at the bed. He wanted to be there with her. He didn’t give a damn about dinner.
“My family is waiting. That was Gage calling to check on us.”
“I knew it. They’re going to hate me for using sex to keep you from them.” She busied herself with making the bed.
He grabbed her hands and kissed her knuckles. “They will love you because you make me happy, and no one knows about the sex except us. But there is something I need to talk to you about before we leave, and we only have a few minutes.”
Her eyes grew to the size of off-road tires. This was going to suck. He led her into the living area so he wasn’t tempted to distract them with lovemaking.
A knock at the door made her jump. “Tara? Are you home?” A male voice called through the house.
“It’s Drew. I don’t want him to see me.” She lowered her voice and hunched over as if to hide.
“Why don’t you want him to know you’re here?” He lowered his voice too, but he didn’t see the point. He had nothing to hide.
“I haven’t told him about you. I don’t want to explain just yet.” She moved farther away from the door.
“My car is out front, and why can’t you have male friends? He doesn’t know what we were just doing.” He’d be more than happy to tell Paxton just to prove the point that Tara was his now and she was never going back to her old life, but her gaze darted around the room as if she were looking for an escape route.
“But he doesn’t know it’s your car. If I let him and Royce in now, there will be questions I don’t want to answer.”
“Are you embarrassed by us?” He took her hand again to keep her from fleeing.
“No. I have to find the right time to tell him, is all.”
“Now seems like a good time, on our way out the door to go to dinner with my family.” He headed for the door, but she dug her fingers into his arm. Ice-cold fear crossed her eyes.
“Could you go out the back? I’ll meet you there.”
“You want me to sneak out the back? What is going on?” This couldn’t be a simple case of finding the right time. He wasn’t one to wait around for things to happen. He did not understand what game she was playing.
“Tara, I hear voices. Open the door, please. I need to speak to you. It’s urgent,” Drew said.
“Mom, I have to go to the bathroom.” Royce’s little voice squeaked on the other side of the door.
“Please, Kace. I wouldn’t ask if it wasn’t important. And I can’t allow my boy to have another accident because of me. I’ll meet you at the main house in fifteen minutes. Just let me get rid of him.”
“I can get rid of him.” His feet wouldn’t move toward the back of the house, and he wouldn’t allow this man to push them around.
“Tara?” Drew knocked again.
“Drew, hang on a second. I’m on the phone.” She turned back to him. “Please. I’ll find out what he needs and send him on his way. Royce and I will come over for dessert.”
“He shouldn’t need you anymore. Your responsibility to him was over the minute you left him.” He didn’t like that her ex-husband still had control of her.
“I’m begging you. You don’t know what he’s like. He won’t understand why you’re here. He thinks we still have a chance. I have to break it to him gently.”
“This doesn’t make sense. Why does he scare you so much?” The hairs on the back of his neck stood up. It wasn’t as if they were doing anything wrong. She was a grown woman who could have male friends. If her ex had caught them in bed, maybe that would have been a bit of a shock. Not for him. He didn’t give a shit if Drew Paxton caught him in bed with his woman.
“He doesn’t scare me.”
“Babe, I’m a lot of things, but I’m not stupid, and I have seen fear on the face of many a race-car driver. You look like you’re going to pass out.”
“You’re wrong. He’s just sensitive and needs bad news spoon-fed to him. You must know other athletes like that.”
“Tara? This can’t wait much longer.” Drew’s knock became more insistent.
“Mommy, I have to pee.”
“I’ll be right there.” Tears filled her eyes.
“After what we just shared, please don’t lie to me. You can tell me anything even if it hurts. Please just tell me the truth. Did he hit you?”
“I don’t need you here right now. Just go. I want you to go. Get out of my house.” She shoved him.
Her words and her angry hands on his chest were like a slap across his face. He turned on his heel and stormed through the house and out the back door. If she wanted to be with Drew, all she had to do was say, and if it was more, that she really was afraid of that asshole, he would take care of it. No man should ever hit a woman.
He stayed low as he passed the windows, feeling like a criminal but wanting to give her what she needed, and hopped into the car. He pushed the gas pedal harder than he should, making the engine growl, but he pulled away before anyone could step outside and see what was making the noise. The cloud of dust would be his cover.
If she didn’t want to tell her ex about them, she didn’t have to, but he wasn’t going to hide or sneak. He had been ready to tell her about Kennedy and how she meant nothing to him. Tara was the only woman he wanted, and he wanted her for as long as she would have him.
But she didn’t know what she wanted. Or she did. And it wasn’t him.
****
She opened the front door with shaking hands. The acrid smell hit her first. What had she done? Royce’s face crumbled, but he made no sound. Instead, his tiny shoulders shook as he tried to silently gulp in air.
Drew’s face twisted into an ugly snarl. His hand gripped Royce’s shoulder. She fought the urge to back away and squatted down to Royce, taking him in her arms away from Drew. “Hey, buddy. I’m sorry. The accident is my fault. Go in the bathroom and clean up. I’ll be in to help in a minute.”
Royce ran into the bathroom without another word.
“What the hell, Tara? He’s not a baby, but he’s peeing his pants? What kind of a mother allows that to happen?” He shoved his way inside the house and slammed the door.
An angry engine sped away from her house. Tara’s heart sank as the noise faded in the distance. Kace did not understand what it had been like to be married to Drew. He had a family that loved each other. They didn’t find ways to make each other sorry for their mistakes.
“It was an accident. Did you have him go to the bathroom before you left?” She filled a pot with hot water and poured it on the porch.
Drew’s hair was disheveled, and his dress shirt wrinkled and untucked as if he’d grabbed it from the hamper. A wild glare filled his eyes. “He said he didn’t have to go.”
That was what all five-year-olds said, but she wasn’t going to point that out. “Why are you back so early?”
“I need to talk to you.”
“Now isn’t a good time.” Why hadn’t she said that with Kace standing in her living room? Because Drew knew her secret and could use it against her. Kace could never know what had happened in her marriage. He wasn’t sticking around for the long haul. How could he be when his first love was his sport?
“This is important and involves you too. Just give me a few minutes. I got a call a couple of hours ago. I’m in trouble. I need your help.”
“Royce is going to need me.”
“He can wait,” Drew said through clenched teeth. He fisted his hair in his hands. “I’m sorry. Please, can I just talk to you for a minute?”
Kace had been right. Drew wasn’t her responsibility any longer, but if she gave him a few minutes, maybe he’d go away. “What was the call about?” She positioned herself closer to the kitchen and farther away from him.
“My ex-girlfriend is a problem. She’s blowing a fight we had way out of proportion. She’s pressing charges against me. She’s going to ruin me.” He ran a hand through his hair, making it stick up farther.
“Did you hit her?” Wouldn’t that always be the first question she’d ask? Had he laid his large hands on this woman’s neck or shoved her down a flight of stairs? She stared at the flowers and the wine she’d meant to bring to dinner. She should have sent them with Kace.
“No, I swear. I didn’t. It was just a screaming match. It happened right before I came to Backwater. She had called the police, but when they arrived, she sent them away.”
“So what’s the problem?” She grabbed a mason jar and filled it with water for the flowers.
“I didn’t know this at the time, but the next morning she went to the station and filed a charge against me.” He dropped onto the sofa and leaned his head against the back.
She hadn’t heard anything about his being arrested in the news. That would have been the lead story everywhere. “Did they arrest you?”
“My lawyer was given a call as a courtesy. Everything was handled quietly. I went down to the police station, but Artie worked his magic, and I was released without incident.”
“I’m still not following, Drew. It sounds as if you took care of everything.” Like the way he took care of what had happened between them. She had never gone to the hospital for help when he hit her. But when she lost the baby, there had been so much blood. He’d taken her even though she screamed that he shouldn’t.
In those few minutes, he had been the Drew she had married, kind and tender, before the last concussion that took her husband from her. He had made sure all the hospital records were destroyed. He had paid a fortune for her private care and the silence of the medical team. He had done that for himself as much as for her.
“The television network got wind of what had happened because some asshole leaked it, and they suspended me. The higher-ups promised to keep it quiet, but now she’s going public with the charges, and the press will eat me alive.”
The real reason Drew had come to Backwater wasn’t that he wanted another chance with her. He wanted someone on his side to make his image look good. “If you hadn’t been suspended from work, you would never have come.”
“That isn’t true. I missed you and Royce. I want us back together.” He jumped up from the sofa and careened toward her. “Marry me.”
She couldn’t help but laugh, except the intense look on his face stopped her laughter midbreath. He wasn’t joking. Her brain screamed to run as far and as fast as she could. She wasn’t safe here, but her feet refused to move. Why had she allowed Kace to leave?
“Tara, please say something.”
“You need to go. I have plans this evening.” She had already ruined the night with Kace’s family. She could not show up after having thrown him out. He had been furious. He wouldn’t want her there, but she needed Drew to go.
“I know you don’t love me like you used to, but you could again in time. I’ll work my ass off to prove to you I’m worth it. You make me a better man. We could try to have another child if you want.”
The bile rose in her throat. She could not allow this man to touch her intimately, let alone bring another child into the world with him. “This is too much. You need to go.” She needed air. She needed warmth.
“Marry me, Tara. Even if it’s only so you can’t testify against me. A wife can’t testify against her husband. I’ll owe you everything. I’ll take care of you for the rest of your life even if you never touch me again.”
She could never allow Drew to touch her. Not after what she and Kace had shared. How could she give that up to save Drew? But she’d be saving herself from having to reveal what had happened to her. And Royce would have his family intact. She stole a glance at the closed bathroom door.
“There isn’t any reason for me to testify against you. No one knows what happened except us.” And as far as she was concerned, that was how it would stay.
“I never meant to hurt you. When will you believe that? I love you.”
“I’m not sure if you know what love is.” She wanted to be with a man who would put her first. Who, when she needed it, would take the lead and allow her to take a break. How long had it been since she could rely on someone else with complete trust? The answer might be never. Being with Drew again would be dangerous. Only a fool would agree to link her life with him behind a closed door where no one could see the harm he caused.
“I’ll go to anger management this time. I promise.” He pressed his hands together as if in prayer.
“When you first came to town, you had said you took the anger management classes and you had been to therapy.” He had pulled out an orange pill bottle and showed her.
“I was in therapy, but it didn’t work.”
“You said you were taking antidepressants.” She hadn’t imagined all that, had she? No, she was certain he had said that pill bottle held drugs. She should have known better.
“I can’t take those drugs. You know what they do to me. I showed you the vitamins I was taking to help with anxiety and stuff.”
He hadn’t obtained an erection when he took the antidepressants. He had been so frustrated in his inability to be a man he hit her when she tried to get him aroused.
“This won’t work. We can’t live together pretending.” She had pretended through the years of living with her parents. Then she’d pretended to care about how lonely her mother was when her father died. Tara had finally felt free and wanted her mother to feel that way too, but she hadn’t.
“If I lose in court, the media will come looking for you to confirm the verdict. You won’t be able to hide what I did to you anymore. They’ll know you’re lying. You’re a bad liar. Your secret will be out. You’ll be just like your mother. Is that what you want?”
He knew that was the last thing she wanted, which was why he asked. If she married him, he would be able to hide her in an ivory tower away from the scrutiny of the media. She wouldn’t have to admit what had happened to her, but she’d be living with the man who had hit her more than once and stole a child from her. She’d be selling her soul to the devil to keep her shame private.
“Let me think about it.” The words sounded as if they had come from someone else. She couldn’t bear the thought her humiliation would make front-page news. Someday her son would find out what a coward she was and that she’d lost him his sibling. And if Kace ever looked at her with pity, she would die. She’d rather him hate her. She could live with that.
“Thank you.” He kissed her cheek. His wet lips against her face made her skin crawl.
She closed the front door and sank to the ground. Her hands shook so much she had to sit on them to make them stop.