Chapter Fifteen #2
He laughs then and kisses me properly, and we exchange a long, slow kiss that fills me with joy.
“Bleugh,” Max says from behind us.
We break apart with a laugh. “You said it was okay for me to kiss her,” Cullen protests.
Max rolls his eyes. “Not all the time.”
I chuckle. Then I go over to him and lower down so we’re at eye level. I glance at Cullen. “Can you give us a minute?”
He nods and clicks his fingers at Ghost, and the two of them go out.
Max watches them go, then looks back at me, puzzled.
“Sit down,” I say, lowering myself to the floorboards. They’re a bit dusty, but I don’t care about that.
He sits opposite me, both of us cross-legged, and hugs his dinosaur.
“Honey,” I say, “I need to talk to you about something. Cullen has just offered me a job helping to set up PAWS. If I took it, I’d be working here every day, looking after the therapy animals.”
His face lights up. “Really?”
“Yes. And Cullen is going to stay, too. We’d be working together, with Archer and some of the others, to get the place up and running. But I need to talk to you about what you want. I need you to know you’re the most important thing in my life, and your happiness is what matters to me.”
He looks up at me with his huge turquoise eyes, so like mine.
“We haven’t talked much about Dad,” I say softly. “And what happened that day.” I was so upset, angry, and frightened that I just walked out. The preparation for coming up to Sunrise Bay happened quickly, and the two of us haven’t had a heart-to-heart about it. But I know it’s important that we do.
I bend my head to catch his eye. “You know that none of it was your fault, don’t you?”
He fiddles with his dinosaur. “I bumped into him.”
“I know. But you’re a six-year-old boy. That’s what boys do. It was very, very wrong of him to react the way he did.”
“Cullen said that when you’re angry you should walk away, and that you mustn’t take it out on someone else.”
“He’s absolutely right. Listen, Dad will always be your dad. And I know he loves you very much. But at the moment, I don’t feel safe with him, and I’m worried that you aren’t safe either. So I don’t think we can go home. Do you understand?”
He nods. “I don’t want to go back.”
“Me neither.”
We look at each other for a moment, letting that sink in.
“I don’t want him to hit you,” he says.
I stare at him. “Hit me?”
“I know he did. I heard you telling Grandma.”
My jaw drops. “Oh, honey…” I bite my lip hard. I didn’t think he knew. “I’m so sorry. I should have left straight away. I shouldn’t have stayed. If I’d left, maybe he wouldn’t have…” My voice trails off, and I swallow hard.
“It’s not your fault,” he says, echoing my words.
Awww… this kid is so wise.
“Will you get divorced?” he asks. “Tom’s parents broke up, and he said they were getting divorced.” Tom is one of his friends at his current school.
I take a deep breath. “Yes. I don’t want to stay married to Dad. I’m really sorry if that makes you sad. I wish things were different.”
“How do you get divorced?”
“I have to see a lawyer. It takes two years for it to happen.”
“That’s a long time.”
“It is.”
“Why?”
“To make sure it’s over, I suppose. I don’t know.
Anyway, we have a few options. We could go and live with Grandma and Grandpa.
But their house is very small, and it’s on the other side of the city from the vets where I work at the moment.
We could try to find somewhere to rent in Auckland, just the two of us.
It means you’d be able to stay at your school. And I’d stay at the vets.”
“You don’t like it there.”
“I know, but jobs aren’t easy to come by. I don’t know if I earn enough to be able to pay the rent on another place, though.”
“If you worked at PAWS, would you be able to pay the rent?”
I nod. “My salary would be twice as much as what I’m getting now.
I should be able to afford to pay for somewhere in Sunrise Bay.
Look, I think we both like it here, with the Ark, and with the idea of PAWS.
But it would mean a lot of changes. Moving schools.
Finding a new home. So I need you to tell me if that’s too scary. Would you rather stay in Auckland?”
“No,” he says immediately. “I want to live here.”
Emotion wells inside me. “Are you sure?”
He nods, then gets up and throws his arms around my neck, and we hug each other for a long time.
“Will you live with Cullen?” he asks eventually, sitting on my lap.
“Not yet. We haven’t known each other long, and we have to make sure we make each other happy. But maybe one day. Would you like that?”
He nods, fiddling with his dinosaur. “I like him.”
“You don’t mind if I… you know… see him? Like a boyfriend, I mean?”
“No. I’d like to be with Ghost all the time.”
“Of course you would. And you’d also be able to play with some of the animals at PAWS, and visit the Ark whenever you wanted.”
A movement out of the corner of my eye makes me look up. Cullen is leaning against the doorjamb, his hands in his pockets. I don’t know how long he’s been there, or how much of that he heard, but he’s smiling.
I kiss the top of Max’s head. “So… it’s settled then? We’re moving to Sunrise Bay?”
“Yes!” He jumps up and runs over to hug Cullen’s knees. Then he dashes past him to find Ghost.
Cullen chuckles and comes over to offer me a hand and help me up. “Everything okay?”
I nod and slide my arms around him. “We haven’t talked about what his dad did properly before. I wasn’t sure how he’d react to the idea of moving, but he was all for it. He said he doesn’t want to go back home.”
“How do you feel about that?”
“Sad, but relieved.”
“That’s natural, I would think.” He kisses me and smirks. “I like the idea of being your boyfriend.”
Ohhh… he did overhear us. I blush. “I hope you don’t mind me saying that.”
“Not at all. In fact, it sounds perfect.”
I look up at him, into his warm brown eyes. “You just have to look forward, don’t you?”
“Definitely.” And he kisses me, because that’s what we’re both doing. Looking forward, and moving forward.
I’m just glad I don’t have to do it alone.
*
When we get back to the bay, we all go for a swim, and then Cullen tells me he’s going to cook us dinner.
He does an easy one-pot seafood chowder with onion, potato, corn, smoked fish, and prawns, all cooked in stock and more than a little cream, and we eat it on the deck with soft rolls to soak up the juice.
Afterward, we go for a walk and treat ourselves to an ice cream at Scoops by the Sea, and eat it slowly while we walk back, Max and Ghost dashing in and out of the waves.
We watch a movie in the evening, and then, after Max goes to bed with Ghost, Cullen and I cuddle up on the sofa and have a glass of wine.
“I have something to ask you,” I say tentatively.
“Okay.”
“Would you… like to stay the night?”
His eyebrows rise. “Really?”
“Well, as much as I enjoy making out on the sofa, it might be nice to have some room for once.”
He chuckles and nuzzles my neck. “Room to do what?”
“You know… move around a bit… change positions without worrying about falling off.”
“Mmm… I like that idea.” He nips my earlobe.
I giggle and kiss him. “We’ll still have to be relatively quiet. These walls are paper thin.”
“I’m happy to smother you with kisses if you feel the urge to moan.” He kisses me back. “And I’m intending to make sure you do.”
“Ohhh…” I sigh happily.
“Are you sure you don’t mind me being here in the morning?” he asks. “When Max wakes?”
“No. I think he’s already used to the idea of you being around a lot more.”
I hadn’t expected the day to end like this. I thought Jack’s anniversary was going to overshadow the day. But although he’s been in my thoughts a lot, I’m glad that, on the whole, the day has felt so positive.
Cullen and I kiss for a long time, and then when we’ve finished our wine, we turn off the TV and move to the bedroom.
It’s heavenly to be able to strip off all our clothes and to lie together naked beneath the duvet.
Cullen is obviously enjoying the freedom of space, because he declares his intention to kiss me all over, and presses his lips down my body before parting my legs and proceeding to make me come with his tongue.
It’s been so long since a man did this for me, and afterward I feel close to tears, although I don’t let them fall.
But when he kisses back up and slides inside me, I don’t worry about letting my emotion show.
He doesn’t seem to mind. He kisses my wet cheeks, moving slowly inside me, and gradually my passion takes over, and things heat up between us.
This time, he’s able to change position, and he rolls me onto my front and slides into me from behind, covering my body with his own so he’s hot and heavy on top of me, which is pure heaven.
It’s not long before I come again, burying my face in the pillow, and it only takes another minute of him thrusting hard before he finally shudders and spills inside me, stifling his groans against my shoulder.
Mmm… it’s blissful, warm, and heavenly, and when he eventually withdraws, I’m more than happy for him to pull me into his arms and to lie there and kiss him while we gradually drift back to Earth.
I want to stay awake and revel in the moment, but it’s too late and I’m too tired, worn out with all the emotion of the day.
Looking out of the window through the open curtains to the west, I can see Scorpius in the sky, its long tail and stinger stars sinking toward the horizon. Jack was a Scorpio, and somehow it feels as if he’s giving us his blessing.
Miss you, I mouth, sending a imaginary, wistful kiss up to the heavens.
Then I close my eyes, a small smile on my lips, and fall asleep.