Chapter Nine
Diana
“Hey, who the fuck are you?” Lucas asked the cowboy, sitting up in the grass.
He was doing everything in his power to seem intimidating, including puffing out his chest and curling his upper lip into a snarl. If any other man I knew pulled that move, they might’ve succeeded in trying to be intimidating but watching Lucas do it was just another reminder of how pathetic he was.
I wasted years of my life on him, letting him abuse me.
“Lucas, I told you to stay the hell out of my life,” I shot out, looking back at Mags, trying to burn the image of him standing in front of my house in the moonlight into my brain.
He was here.
He came for me.
My heart drummed, the sound filling my ears as Mags’ dark eyes slowly found their way back to me. Heat bloomed in my cheeks, and my knees nearly gave out. Without a word, he raised my gun at Lucas as Chase’s cruiser pulled into the driveway, sirens echoing in the night. All three of us were bathed in red and blue lights then, reminding me this wasn’t a dream.
I just hoped it wouldn’t become a nightmare.
“Do youuu fucking know this guyyy, Diana?” Lucas blubbered. My eyes snapped over to him.
“Don’t you fucking look at him again.”
My eyes landed on Mags again, his dark command spreading over every inch of my skin before seeping into my bloodstream. His nostrils flared as his wide chest expanded with each breath he took. He stood before me like Death, waiting to avenge me.
“Don’t kill him,” I whispered, pleading. I knew Lucas didn’t deserve mercy, and yet, my soul still wanted to show him some. Mags was here, protecting me in a way I’d always craved, but I couldn’t let him kill Lucas.
“She caaan look at meee ifff—”
“Speak again, I shoot you,” Mags clipped coldly, the sharpness of his tongue causing me to flinch.
The cowboy pulled his eyes from me to look at my ex, his face unreadable.
Clearly, he wasn’t going to listen to me, and me begging didn’t affect him in the slightest.
My eyes wanted to followed his gaze, but I didn’t, keeping my gaze on him and only him, just like he ordered. Out of the corner of my eye, I knew Lucas was glaring at Mags with a hatred so potent, I could taste it on my tongue, sour and vile.
“What the fuck is going on here?”
A car door shut as Chase’s question hung in the air, snapping me out of it. I looked down and discovered the state I was in. Embarrassment slammed into me, seeing my peaked nipples and the blush spreading across my chest. It didn’t take much for my body to react to Mags—it was borderline pathetic.
No, it was pathetic. Get a damn grip, Diana.
I shuddered and fixed my robe, pulling it back over my shoulders and tying it tight before wrapping my arms around myself. The chill was back, and I was desperate to have Mags’ warmth surrounding me again. I was ready to drown in it. Chase appeared then, crossing the yard as his eyes came to me. He was dress in jeans, boots, and a wrinkled white T-shirt, his hair a mess. His tired eyes scanned over me, checking for injuries.
He’d been asleep.
A small twinge of guilt hit me then, hating that not only had Lucas disrupted my life, but those I cared about.
“Diana, are you alright?” he asked firmly, glancing at Lucas and Mags.
I rubbed my upper arms and lied. “Yes, I’m alright.”
“He hurt you?” the Sheriff pressed.
Pressing my lips together, I shook my head.
Chase looked over to Mags, raising a brow. He wasn’t fazed in the slightest to see Mags off Hallow Ranch, and I was beginning to wonder if this was actually the first time he’d stepped off the property line of his sanctuary.
“Wanna put that gun down?” Chase asked the cowboy, his tone flat.
“No.”
Oh, Lord.
The Sheriff sighed, rubbing a hand over his head, muttering something I couldn’t make out. “I’m asking you to put the gun down, Mags,” he said, gesturing to the weapon.
It was in that moment I made the mistake of looking at the cowboy, his dark eyes already on me. I held my breath, waiting, praying he would do what the sheriff asked and not make this more complicated. Nothing was said between us as he continued to hold my gaze for a moment.
Finally, giving his attention to Chase. “And I’m telling you no,” Mags replied gruffly. Crap. Double crap. “Your problem isn’t with me, Sheriff. It’s with the piece of shit in Diana’s yard.”
Lucas moved out of the corner of my eye, and before I could stop myself, I looked at him, watching him make a poor attempt to stand as he began shouting at Mags. As expected, it wasn’t intimidating in the slightest, due to the fact that half those words were slurred. “You t-the ffffuckkingg p-pieccce of ssshit—”
Mags pulled the trigger. The sound of the gunshot cut through the air, and I covered my ears, squeezing my eyes shut as a short scream escaped me.
“What the fuck was that?” Chase bellowed.
I opened my eyes, fully expecting to find Lucas bleeding out in my grass, but instead, I found him on the ground, in the fetal position, his hands covering his head, his shoulders moving harshly in time with his panicked breaths.
Did he just—
My head snapped over to Mags. “I asked you not to hurt him,” I snapped.
“And I didn’t, Diana” he countered smoothly, turning his head towards me. “Just fucking shut him up.”
“You could’ve killed him,” I argued, throwing my hand out and ignoring the way he made me feel when he said my name.
His eyes flashed, and all at once, I was pinned in place by the heat of his gaze as they dropped down to my chest and over my belly before scanning the length of my bare legs. Every inch of me felt like I was on fire, the flames swallowing me whole, scorching every inch of skin. Time, and everything around us, remained frozen as he trailed his gaze back up the length of my body. When those dark eyes landed back on mine, it felt like we were the only two people on the planet, both of us burning together.
His next words were low, laced with malice, chasing away the heat his gaze left me. “If I wanted to kill him, Diana, he would’ve been dead before you made it to the door.”
Suddenly, the fire that surrounded me was gone, and a dark chill slithered down my spine, down my legs, swirling around my feet before slithering back up my front. In the back of my mind, a memory popped up, and Denver’s voice echoed in my mind.
Mags is Mags, Diana. He’s rough around the edges, but know this; that man would never lie. Not to you. Not to me. Mags may be many things, but the last thing he would ever be is a liar. His word is all he has.
“For fuck’s sake, Mags,” Chase groaned. “Don’t say shit like that in front of me.”
Mags turned his head then, looking at Chase but not saying a word. The Sheriff was by Lucas then, gun in hand, nudging my ex with his boot. “Sit up.”
“He fucking shot me!” Lucas shouted, pointing at Mags.
“Where?” Chase pressed, sounding tired.
Lucas slowly straightened and sat up again, patting his chest, abdomen, and legs, searching for the wound.
“Didn’t shoot you. Shot the grass an inch from your foot,” Mags informed him simply, tipping his hat to the grass.
Lucas gaped at him, blubbering out a string of words that even I, after all the times I’d seen him under the influence, couldn’t make out.
Slowly, Mags stepped down from the porch, his demeanor shifting. “That’s the only form of mercy I’ll ever give you, you son of bitch,” he vowed, his voice low. “You speak to Diana, bother Diana, or try to touch Diana again, I’ll send you back to the hell you crawled your way out of.”
My eyes swung to Chase as my lips parted on a gasp, hoping to find a voice of reason. His blue eyes told me all I needed to know. He was on Mags’ side with this one, meaning he would let the cowboy kill my ex and most likely help him burn his body.
I mouthed “please,” to my friend, knowing he would show mercy if asked. That was just the kind of man Chase was.
With a sigh, Chase bent down and slapped some handcuffs on Lucas—who didn’t put up much of a fight, instead staring up at Mags in fear.
“Get up,” Chase ordered, helping him get to his feet as my eyes remained on the grass, wondering if this was all some twisted dream.
“Diana,” Lucas pleaded.
“What the fuck did I just say?” Mags clipped, loading my gun again. My eyes snapped up just in time to see Chase shaking his head at the cowboy, jerking Lucas in the opposite direction. Once he was in Chase’s cruiser, I saw Mags finally lower the weapon.
Nothing was said as I moved back to my porch. Not even a minute later, the Sheriff was back.
“Alright,” he sighed, rolling his neck and gesturing to me. “What happened?”
“Are you taking a statement, or are you going to be a witness to murder tonight, Sheriff?” I asked calmly, raising my chin. Out of the corner of my eye, Mags moved, heading back to me.
Chase ran a hand through his hair before pinning me with a look. “Don’t fucking start.”
“Where are you taking him?” I demanded.
A muscle in his cheek jumped as he said, “To the fucking station.”
“Will he be there in the morning?” I pressed, wrapping my arms around myself.
“If I had it my way, I would’ve sent him out of town this afternoon,” Chase shot back.
“That doesn’t answer my question.”
“And you haven’t given me a damn statement, Diana.”
I opened my mouth to speak but stopped short when a hand wrapped around the back of my neck, the rough pads of Mags’ fingers imprinting themselves on my skin.
“You don’t need a statement, Bowen. Just get that piece of shit out of here,” Mags clipped, his body heat near me once more.
Chase’s eyes lingered on Mags’ arm for a moment before his blues shifted to me. “You sure you’re alright?” he asked softly, his attitude fading now.
No, I was that furthest thing from alright, but I couldn’t let him or anyone else see. I nodded and lied again. “I’m alright, Chase.”
He returned the nod before taking a step closer, and Mag’s fingers tightened on the back of my neck.
“I’m sorry I didn’t answer when you called,” Chase murmured, studying my face. “I was passed out, and I guess I thought it was my alarm.”
The tension in my shoulders dissipated. “I’m sorry for causing you any trouble,” I replied. “You, more than anyone in this town, need your sleep.”
His jaw tightened, and he looked over his shoulder. “You didn’t cause anything.” When he looked back to me, he muttered, “I should’ve arrested him earlier today.”
“I told you not to,” I reminded him.
“I shouldn’t have listened to you.”
A smile teased at the corner of my mouth. “You rarely do.”
“I did today.”
I gave him a half smile.
“Next time your past storms into your life, I’ll be there to drag it right back out,” he vowed.
My eyes flicked over to the cruiser. “I don’t think anyone else from my past is going to come out here,” I mumbled, knowing my parents didn’t have the guts.
They refused to see how far I’d come, how well I was doing.
Chase’s mouth flattened, his brows furrowing. I knew he was holding his tongue because of the cowboy standing beside me. Mags didn’t know anything about me, really. Yes, he knew about Lucas, and a few years ago, he’d overheard a conversation between my mother and me. It wasn’t a good one. In fact, it was the most verbally abusive conversation I’d ever had with her.
Other than that, I was almost a stranger to the cowboy, just like he was to me.
After a few beats of silence, Chase looked to Mags, who stood behind me, the heat of his body radiating into my back. “You good?” he prompted.
The cowboy’s words were straight and to the point. “Be better if you got that fucker out of my sight.”
Chase grumbled something else under his breath before looking back to me. “See you tomorrow, Diana.”
“See you, Chase.”
As I watched Chase walk away, I wondered where my phone and gun were, but I didn’t get the chance to ask until the police cruiser was backing out of the driveway.
“Where’s my phone and gun?” I asked, doing my best to not react to Mags’ touch as his grip loosened and his thumb began stroking the side of my neck.
“With me.”
I tried not to let those two words seep into my soul as I rasped, “May I have them back, please?”
“You gonna be stupid like that again?”
Excuse me ?
I jerked and tried to step out of his hold, but his grip tightened once more.
In a flash, he banded his arm around my front, tight around my midsection, and yanked me back against him. I gasped softly, our bodies flushed now, my hands instinctively going to his strong forearm, my fingers curling around the corded muscles. My chest began to heave, and I felt his facial hair brush against the shell of my ear as the hand at the back of my neck snaked around to the front, holding me in place.
Gentle but firm.
“When a man like that shows up at your door and tries to get into your house, you shoot him,” he growled, his breath sliding across my skin. “When a man like me shows up and wants to shoot him, you fuckin’ let me.”
My chest collapsed.
“When a man like me tells you not to look at a piece of shit like your ex, you fuckin’ obey. ”
“I—”
“Quiet.”
His arm shifted back then, allowing him to splay his hand over my soft stomach, his fingers pressing in. He turned his head, trailing his nose across my hair, inhaling deeply. My eyes fluttered closed, my body doing everything it could to savor this moment, the feel of him against me, his hard chest against my back, his hand around my neck, his fingers against my pulse.
I hated how well we fit together, how perfect he felt against me, because I knew, down to the bottom of my lonely soul, I knew when he let me go, my heart would break all over again.
“When a man like me wants to kill for you, Firefly, you fuckin’ let him,” he murmured, the jagged edges of his voice tearing me apart. “Do you hear me?”
I sucked in a breath as he forced my head back, letting it fall onto his shoulder. His mouth was against my ear again, his breath harsh against it. “Answer me,” he ordered, his fingers flexing on my throat.
I nodded, unable to say anything else, keeping my hands on him arm. He pressed into my stomach, forcing the rest of my body to press harder against him. I felt it then, his desire.
A sound left me then, weak and uncontrollable, as I shifted my hips, moving my ass against his hardness slightly. He said nothing as he forced my head to the side, trailing the tip of his nose up and down the column of my neck, the brim of his hat brushing against my forehead.
“Kill for you, beautiful,” he rumbled, his lips against my neck now. “In a heartbeat.”
“Mags.” His name came out as a plea, the same plea I chanted in the dark hours of the night alone in my bed, when the only thing I had was my touch.
Now, he was here—touching me.
He was holding me.
“You drive me mad, Diana Harper,” he whispered, pressing his lips against my neck.
Mags just kissed me.
My body hummed, my nipples hard, aching to be touched. The inside of my thighs were slick, my panties having been soaked the moment I realized he was here. I lifted my hand, ready to wrap it around the back of his neck, but in a flash, his arm around my middle was gone. He caught my hand in the air and slowly removed his other from my neck.
Wait—what?
I stood there, frozen, as he moved to my front, his dark gaze colliding with mine. Before I could utter a single syllable, he lifted my arm and pressed his lips to the inside of my wrist, the moonlight bright behind him.
“Get inside,” he commanded gently against my skin.
“W-what?” I whispered in confusion.
His dark eyes flicked up as he pulled his lips away, releasing me. The sting of his kiss seeped into my blood, forever tainting it as my arm fell. In an effort to stop the knife from twisting further, I put both of my hands on my stomach, pressing in.
“What are you doing?” I rasped, my voice cracking.
Was he—was he leaving?
His harsh features were impossibly soft now, and his eyes—God, his eyes were filled with agony. His next words came out on a jagged, heartbreaking whisper. “Diana, I need you to go inside now.”
I peeled my eyes from him and looked down, the pain of his rejection hitting me, the knife twisting. As I tried to comprehend was just happened, my heart cried out, wanting another glimpse of what could be. The dream of us was ripped from my hands before I could get a taste.
“This was never going happen between us, was it?” I asked, my voice barely audible as an owl hooted in the distance.
I waited, God, I waited , holding onto the hope he would hook his fingers underneath my chin and take it all back. The cowboy didn’t make a sound, didn’t move an inch, but I could feel his eyes on me, watching me bleed out in front of him. I wrapped my arms around myself again, feeling more exposed than I should’ve.
When I finally mustered up the courage to look at him, he gave me an answer.
“No.”
Pressing my lips together, I nodded as the knife sank deeper into my chest. “Right.” I tried to swallow the shard of glass in my throat before I asked, “May have my phone and gun back please?”
His face was unreadable as he pulled out my things. He handed me my phone first, and then, he unloaded the gun as he held my eyes. He handed me the magazine first, then the gun. Tears fell down my cheeks as I took him in, the beauty of him, darkness and all.
“Do you feel it too?” I whispered, my full hands hanging down my sides now. I took a step towards him, silently daring him to answer.
His dark eyes flashed. “Diana—”
“Answer the question,” I ordered. His jaw tightened, but his eyes remained the same: warm and full of agony. More tears formed and fell, soaking my skin, trailing down my neck and over my collarbone. My next question came out desperate, pathetic, and broken. “Do. You. Feel. It?”
Nothing.
A forced laugh left me then, the sound bouncing off the porch walls. “So never, not once in the last decade , did you feel it?” I pressed, shaking my head in disbelief. This wasn’t one-sided, it couldn’t be. Not after the way he held me, caressed me. “The least you could do is give me the truth,” I challenged after another round of silence from him. “What about when you found me on the porch on Christmas years ago? Or when my tire popped and you found me?”
“Diana—”
“You have no idea,” I pushed out as a single tear landed on my cheek, “how badly I wanted to kiss you that day.”
He stiffened, his eyes growing darker than I’d ever seen them.
“Every time my life tries to fall apart, you’re somehow always there to make sure it doesn’t,” I croaked. “I see the way you look at me, Mags. I’m not a fool.” My words settled, and I looked away from him with a huffed laugh. “God, maybe I am a fool.” I reached up and brushed the tear off my face. “Nothing but a fool who thought I could have a man like you.”
“Go inside, Diana.”
My spine snapped straight, my mind desperately trying to remind me of the woman I was. My heart, damn her, wanted to fight—to do anything to get the truth of out of him, to wash away his denial. “Answer me this, Mags,” I ordered, my voice wavering. “Do you want me?”
He gave me nothing, and suddenly, I was reminded of how foolish it all was.
Love.
Maybe it was never in the cards for me. Maybe all my life was meant to be was what I currently was: a successful lawyer and business woman. While building the life I had for the last decade, I’d also spent the better half of it silently loving the man before me, the broken cowboy. I didn’t want to fall in love with him, and logically, it didn’t make sense. We barely spoke to one another, barely saw each other, and I knew nothing about him.
Yet, whenever I saw him, my breath caught. Whenever he spoke to me, his voice was like a song I never wanted to forget, and on the rare occasion when he would touch me, I would melt.
No other man on this planet had that power over me.
I dropped my head, shaking it as I released a weak sigh. Suddenly, the voice inside my head wasn’t mine, but Lucas’.
What the hell were you thinking, Diana?
It was all in your head.
No one, not even the lonely cowboy, wants you.
I couldn’t look up at Mags again, his beauty—his darkness—was too much.
“Goodnight, Mags,” I whispered, stepping back into my home. “Thank you for protecting me.”
And destroying me, all within a matter of minutes.
I quietly shut and locked the door before heading down the hallway to my office. After putting away my gun, I got back to work, keeping my eyes on my computer screen.
It wasn’t until the next morning, when I checked the camera feeds while sipping my coffee, that I discovered Mags didn’t leave for three more hours. After I’d shut the door, he stared at it for a long time before turning and taking a seat on the porch step.
He’d lit a cigarette, taking a drag from it as he stared up at the moon. When the smoke released, it lingered around him, not wanting to leave. After he finished, he bent his head, staying that way for hours.
Then, he was gone.