Epilogue
Mags
Summer. Hayden, CO.
The engine of my new-to-me truck rumbled lowly, parked on the side of Main Street a few doors down from Harper Law. I’d been sitting here for long time, watching the locals live their lives, my presence not effecting them whatsoever. The sun was high, the sky cloudless and blue, the trees green, the sidewalks dotted with flower pots and farmer's market signs. My chest rose and fell in a steady beat, the old radio blasting static-laced rock music, a melody I hadn’t heard in ages.
I pulled my wrist from the top of the steering wheel and reached over to the glove compartment, popping it open. Inside, I had three things: my pistol, a fake registration courtesy of Red Snake, and a navy blue velvet box. My throat worked as I pulled the delicate box out, perching it in the palm of my hand, heart pounding.
This wasn’t the plan.
It wasn’t supposed to happen like this.
I was set to propose to Diana next month in Astoria. Carrie and I had spent the last few weeks planning out every detail. That plan went to shit this morning when I came home after doing morning chores to tell her goodbye. Something was wrong; I knew it in my gut the second I found her in the kitchen, staring off into space. There were a lot things we were both still healing from, but some days were harder than others, which warranted an extreme amount of patience and love from both of us.
We managed.
We opened up.
We grieved the time we lost.
We moved on.
We grew, not only as individuals, but as partners.
But something was wrong. I knew today would’ve been her first day teaching law at Yale, and no matter how much she denied it, I knew she was wondering what could’ve been. After Lucas kidnapped her, she told me she never wanted to go back to the East Coast again. She turned down Yale. I respected her decision. Though, I was grateful she wouldn’t be gone from me months at a time, I still carried guilt.
When I walked in this morning, I expected her usual brightness, her smile, or even her laughter. The last thing I expected was the hint of fear in her eyes. I asked her about it, and she told me not to worry, giving me a half smile and a kiss. After I walked her to her car, I went inside, needing to take a piss before heading back out to the pasture.
The pregnancy test was sitting on the back of the toilet, the wrapper in the trash bin beside it. The double lines were engraved in my heart, branded on my soul, highlighting a future I never thought I’d have.
I was going to be a father.
Immediately, I called Kings, telling him I was taking the afternoon to help Diana in town. He didn’t mind; I’d only recently started going into town on a regular basis.
The first time was the day after I spread Lucas’ ashes on the mountain and took Diana to her house…
“I hate him.”
My firefly’s whispered confession was louder than a grenade.
My hand cupped her face then, forcing her to look at me and not at her destroyed living room. “I’ll clean it up.”
She tossed her hand out towards her desk. “My desk is broken.”
“Already have another built for you in the warehouse, beautiful,” I countered.
Her brows came together as she jerked in surprise. “W-what?” she stammered.
Chase shouted something from the other room, but I ignored him, bending and brushing my nose against hers. “Designed and built it for you years ago, my love. It just needs a stain, which you can pick out.”
Tears hit her eyes then, her bottom lip trembling. “Mags.”
“Don’t worry about your house,” I told her, kissing her. “I’ll get the twins out here to clean it up.”
“Thought you said you were going to clean it.”
My lips twitched. “I’m cleaning the office. Those lazy fuckers can do everything else.”
“And what will you do?”
My answer was firm but warm. “Be with you.”
I released a shuddered breath, opening the box up to reveal the ring I’d chosen for her months ago—the thin gold band, delicate and beautiful like her soul, the glimmering oval diamond, radiant like her smile, intoxicating like her heart.
The second I saw it, I knew it belonged on her finger.
“Fuck,” I muttered, grabbing my hat from the dashboard and putting it on, popping my door open with the other hand. As always, once I was on the sidewalk, I kept my eyes to the ground and counted the steps until I reached my destination. I’d been back in therapy, having weekly sessions, and since coming back out into the public, I realized I have a small fear of crowds. Hayden wasn’t a big town by any means, but even when the local grocery store was crowded on a Saturday, I couldn’t get past the mental block of being in there, surrounded by strangers.
“Afternoon, cowboy.”
My eyes lifted to find an older woman in a track suit, a small rat dog trotting in front of her. I tipped my hat and walked right by her.
“You better take care of her.”
My footsteps halted, my shoulders tensing. I looked over my shoulder, meeting the stranger’s kind eyes. “Pardon?”
She smiled and stretched out her index finger decorated with gold and silver rings, the nail painted a bright pink to match her tracksuit and pointed behind me. “You better take care of my lady lawyer, mister.”
I stared at her, unsure of what to do. My knee-jerk reaction would be to tell her to fuck off, but according to Mason, that wasn’t polite.
“I’m Martha,” she tacked on, beaming. “I attend book club with Diana.”
Realization dawned on me then, and I nodded. “She’s told me about you.”
“Did she now?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
Martha’s eyes looked me up and down. She was clearly sizing me up. “You’re tall.”
I gave her nothing else, and her rat dog moved to me, stiffing my boots.
“All those cowboys from Denver’s ranch are tall.”
“I suppose, ma’am.”
She waved her hand. “You don’t have to call me that. Martha is just fine.” My jaw ticked, the ring box in my hand growing heavier by the second. When I was ready to say something, she beat me to the punch. “You have a good soul. I can tell. A little rough around the edges, sure, but…I see that goodness in you.”
I looked away from her, feeling a tightness in my chest.
“I need you to use that goodness to take care of her. Diana deserves the world.”
“Know that,” I told her earnestly. “Plan on spending the rest of my days giving it to her.”
Her smile softened, the lines around her eyes deepening at the same time as she gave me a look I’d never seen before. “You deserve the world too, cowboy.”
My eyes dropped to my boots, that ache in my chest morphing into a burn.
“She’ll give it right back to you, my sweet Diana,” she murmured.
“Already has,” I said before I tipped my hat and walked away.
I pulled open the door to Harper Law, a sweet floral scent hitting my nose. Thomas looked up from his desk, eyes widening slightly. “H-hey, Mags.”
“She with a client?” I asked, skipping the bullshit and shoving the ring box in my flannel pocket.
“Uh, no. I can let her know you’re here—”
I reached back, pulling out my wallet and plucking some bills from it. As I pocketed my wallet once more, I headed his way, holding out the bills. “Take an early lunch,” I commanded.
“I actually can’t. I have—”
My eyes cut to him, my chin dipping. “Take. An. Early. Lunch.”
Thomas’ throat worked. “Don’t kill me please.”
“Don’t test me then,” I clipped lowly.
Diana’s paralegal was out of his seat and buttoning his suit jacket in the next second. The second after that, he was out the front door, and I didn’t hesitate to lock it behind him, flipping the open sign to closed.
“Thomas?” Diana called from her office in the back.
My boots carried me to her, stopping in her doorway. I folded my arms and leaned my shoulder against the frame, studying her. Her honey blonde hair was swept back into a claw clip, her curled ends popping out every which way. She had on her thick black rimmed glasses today, perched on the end of her nose, neck bent, head eyes over the countless documents scattered all over her desk. I looked over to the coffee bar I’d built her a few months ago, noticing the pot was empty. My eyes scanned her desk, looking for her usual mug, but it was nowhere in sight.
She didn’t drink coffee today.
My gut twisted, the sensation unfamiliar to me.
“Thomas,” she called, clearly oblivious. “Do we have the contract for the Ressing Ranch ready?”
I watched in awe as she held up papers with one hand and reached for her pen with other, biting the cap off and jotting down a note on the contract that held her attention. She capped the pen and lifted her head. “Tho—Mags,” she breathed out, her hazel eyes widening.
“Firefly,” I greeted.
She looked behind me, then back to my face. “Wh—what are you doing here?”
Starting my fuckin’ life.
“Checkin’ on you,” I answered.
She set the papers back down and started straightening her desk. “Why? Where is Thomas?”
“Sent him to lunch early.” I pushed off the frame and closed her door, locking that one too.
Diana’s cheeks heated. “Mags, I can’t—um—” She cut herself off, trying to find the right words. “I can’t have sex in my office.”
“Not here for that, gorgeous,” I murmured, coming around her desk.
Silence fell around us, and when I pulled out her chair, bracing both of my hands on the armrests, she cleared her throat. “Mags?”
“Don’t like playin’ games,” I said.
“Games?”
I ignored her. “Too old for that shit. Don’t have the patience for it. This morning, when I came to give my woman a kiss, she didn’t meet my eyes. She was distant, in her head.”
“I—”
“—after everything you’ve been through, Diana, I don’t blame you. Was going to let you have that space and planned on making you talk to me about it tonight.”
Her mouth opened and closed three times before she mumbled, “I wasn’t in my head.”
“In the seven months we’ve been together, you’ve always given me those eyes when we’re talkin’. Hell, even when I have you spread out for me on every piece of furniture I’ve made, face buried in your cunt, you give me your eyes.”
She breathed out my name, her face and neck turning red.
I tilted my head to the side. “Something was wrong with you this morning, baby.”
“I’m okay. I just—I have a lot on my mind.”
My eyes dropped to her chest, then to her belly before slowly lifting back up to her face. “I know you do,” I whispered. She read me, and instantly, I watched the heat fade from her skin, her face growing pale, almost green as panic filled her eyes. “Hey, hey.” I got down on my knees and grabbed her face, my thumbs stroking her cheeks. “None of that.”
“I—I don’t know how to—”
“First things first,” I declared. “I’m going to ask you something, and I need you to dig deep and give me the truth. Can you do that for me?”
Her hands came to my wrists as she nodded. “I can do that.”
I stared into her eyes for a long time, knowing my love for her was unwavering, before I asked it. “Do you want to have this baby?”
Her lips parted, and she leaned back, her hands falling from me. I let her go, giving her the space she needed. “What?”
“You’re pregnant,” I stated.
Those damn eyes I loved so much shined with tears almost instantly. “Yes.”
I shoved down the warmth spreading through my body, pausing it. I couldn’t allow myself to feel anything for it until she gave me an answer. This wasn’t my choice after all.
“Do you want to keep it?” I asked.
Her answer, like her tears, were instant. “Yes,” she rasped, her voice thick.
My throat bobbed. “Yeah?”
She nodded. “I want to have your baby, Mags. I just—I was so scared this morning. We just got settled, you know? I mean, I only moved in just last week.”
I said nothing, pulling out the ring box and popping it open. Her hand shot to her mouth, stifling a gasp. “Regardless of your answer to the previous question, Firefly, this was still going to happen,” I began. Her gaze collided with mine, time halting, drowning in this moment. “Spent most of my days in darkness, baby. The second I saw you, I saw light for the first time. I call you Firefly because you’re the only light I see, the only light I need.”
“Mags…,” she rasped, her bottom lip trembling.
My voice was jagged and thick now. “I would be honored, Diana, if you let me spend the rest of my days soaking in your light.”
She began nodding.
“Will you marry me?” I asked.
She lunged for me then, her arms locking around my neck, her mouth crashing onto mine. I leaned back, stopping the fall, and snaked my arms around her. “Gotta give me a verbal answer, gorgeous,” I said against her lips.
The love of my life, the one person I’d never thought I’d find, pulled back and gave me the world with a single word.
“Yes.”
The End.