NORA
I was stretched out on a lounge chair by Ky’s pool on Monday evening, sunglasses on, as I watched Theo and a few of the other guys work the grill.
Theo had his white button-up shirt half undone, tongs in hand, looking annoyingly good.
But, of course, he did. The man could wear a garbage bag, and I’d probably still think he was insanely attractive.
I was still riding a warm, floaty feeling from the past few days when I noticed Ky break away from the group.
He crossed the pool deck with that easy confidence he always carried.
“Mind if I sit?” he asked when he stepped up beside me.
“Sure,” I said, lifting the sunglasses from my eyes to look up at him better.
“Good.” He dropped onto the lounge chair beside mine and leaned back with a long exhale. “Because I’ve been wondering when I’d finally get a chance to talk to you alone.”
“Really?” My brows pulled together as alarm bells chimed in the back of my head. Because that tone… it wasn’t his usual teasing one. “Why’s that?”
Ky turned his face toward me, his eyes hidden behind his sunglasses. “I guess I’ve just wanted to talk to you about the big elephant in the room. As in, you and Theo seem to have hit it off.”
“We’re just having fun,” I said, hoping it sounded casual and not like my heart was doing a weird little flip. “Getting to know each other better.”
“That’s all?” Ky let out a quiet sound. “Because it seems to me like you’ve gotten to know each other pretty dang well, considering the amount of PDA I’ve been forced to witness the past three days.” He paused. “And I’m pretty sure Diego mentioned that Theo introduced himself as your boyfriend.”
“Okay, yeah,” I admitted, heat rushing straight to my face as I suddenly became obsessed with the condensation on my water bottle. “I guess that’s true.”
Ky stayed quiet for a beat, like he was turning something over in his head.
My stomach tightened. This was probably the part where my protective big brother decided he didn’t like it.
The part where he reminded me that Theo was my boss. That there was an age gap. That I lived in his house. That his adorable daughter being involved could make it even more complicated.
I braced myself for the moment when Ky told me I was being completely reckless.
But instead of saying any of that, he said, “I guess I’m curious where you see this going.” He shrugged. “Like, is this just a summer fling that goes with a summer job? Or are you wanting something more serious?”
I glanced around automatically, making sure no one was close enough to overhear. Then I looked back at Ky.
“I don’t really know where we stand yet,” I said, choosing the truth that felt safest. “But… I hope it’s something that lasts.”
For a really long time.
Possibly forever.
Ky’s head tilted like he hadn’t expected that answer. Then he said, “Okay, but…” He hesitated, and my stomach sank. “What about your career?”
My pulse stuttered.
“Are you still planning to use your degree?” Ky continued.
“Or now that you’re dating him and hoping things work out long-term, are you just planning to stay home with his daughter and do the stay-at-home-mom thing?
” His voice softened just a little. “Because I know how hard you worked to get that degree. And how much it meant to be the first person in our family to go to college.”
I swallowed, my throat suddenly tight, not liking how fast my own thoughts started spinning.
He sighed. “I’d just hate to see you give up on your dreams because of a guy.”
The words hit like a punch to the gut.
Not because I didn’t understand what he was trying to say… but because I hated that he thought that was what I was doing.
That he assumed I was already halfway to tossing my goals in the trash because a hot corporate lawyer with green eyes and a hypnotizing smile had finally kissed me.
Because in reality, I was just taking life as it came at me. Figuring it out one step at a time.
I mean, it wasn’t like I could control the fact that all my post-graduation plans had fallen through and no one else had wanted to hire me in my field yet.
I couldn’t control the job market.
But also, it had been literally two months since I graduated.
Two months.
Just because I was enjoying a weekend with the guy I’d had a crush on all year, it didn’t mean I was suddenly giving up on every dream I’d ever had for myself.
Though, sure, if I was honest, the thing Ky was insinuating that I might be fantasizing about doing—marrying Theo, staying home, taking care of Charlotte and maybe having more babies… Well, it didn’t exactly sound horrible.
In fact, it actually sounded kind of amazing.
Like the kind of life the younger version of me had always dreamed of when I’d played house in the backyard with my friends.
Was it really all that bad to want something like that?
Yes, I knew that it was important to have a way to support myself if the crap hit the fan. I’d heard of women getting trapped in bad situations because they had put all of their eggs in a man’s basket.
But… I was also resourceful and resilient. I could figure things out if I needed to.
If any of that even became a reality.
I shook my head, realizing I was jumping about a thousand steps ahead of myself.
I’d literally just had my first kiss with Theo two days ago.
I was still so far from knowing if any of the scenarios I was thinking about could even be a possibility.
Ky must have seen something on my face because he put a hand on my knee, and in a careful, caring tone, he added, “Theo’s a great guy.
Obviously, I know that. And if things work out between you two and you decide to be a stay-at-home mom like Mom was for us, then I’ll be happy for you.
Really.” He paused, rubbing his other hand over the back of his neck.
“But… you and Theo are in really different stages of life. And he has his daughter to think about. I just don’t want you getting anyone’s hopes up if you don’t actually think you’d be happy as an instant mom. ”
My stomach dipped.
Because there it was.
The real concern.
The reminder that unlike all the relationships I’d had before, I was playing with something bigger this time.
Something that involved a wonderful little girl who already loved me. And a man who had already lost too much.
I stared at the glassy pool water for a second, the surface shimmering like it had no idea my entire brain had just turned into a storm.
“I’m not trying to get anyone’s hopes up,” I said quietly. “I really don’t want to hurt anyone.”
“I know.” Ky’s gaze stayed on me, steady and protective. “I just want you to think, that’s all.”
And even though I wanted to roll my eyes and tell him I’d done nothing but think about Theo and Charlotte lately, I didn’t.
Instead, I just sat there, gripping my water bottle a little tighter.
Because the truth was, ever since I’d gotten that first glimmer of hope that something real might actually be possible, I’d been trying not to look too far down the road.
Because the moment I did, the stakes would just get heavier.
And suddenly, I’d have something to lose.
I let out a slow breath and tipped my head back against the lounger. “I was supposed to just be having fun this weekend.” I turned toward Ky, narrowing my eyes at him. “You weren’t supposed to make me think about consequences and reality.”
“Sorry,” he said, scrunching his nose, guilt flashing in his blue eyes. “I’m just trying to look out for you. And Theo. And Charlotte.”
He licked his lips, hesitating like he was getting up the nerve to say something else.
“What is it?” I asked, bracing myself.
“It’s just that we both know what it’s like to have a mother figure disappear from our lives because she had kids before she was ready,” he said, his eyes showing the pain that came from broken promises and shattered realities.
“And I just… I don’t want you jumping into something before you’ve really thought through what it would mean. ”
My throat tightened.
It made sense that Ky would be thinking about that. Everything with Becca had been so much harder for him than it had been for me. He’d called her Mom and relied on her for eight years. When we’d been taken from her, he’d been old enough to understand the loss in a way I hadn’t.
I’d only been two when our parents had stepped in. I was barely conscious of what was going on.
And before that, I at least had him to rely on when Becca had been too drugged out to take care of us.
He hadn’t had anyone.
So logically, I knew he wasn’t saying any of this to make me upset. He was saying it because he loved me.
And because he could already see how much there was to lose if this went sideways.
I swallowed, nodding once. “I hear you.”
Ky stayed quiet, waiting.
So I met his gaze, forcing myself to be honest, even if I didn’t have a perfect answer yet.
“I appreciate you caring enough to bring up the hard stuff,” I said. “And while I don’t have this all figured out since it’s just barely getting started, I promise I’ll do my best not to be careless with anyone’s heart.”
Especially not with Charlotte’s and Theo’s.
And if possible, hopefully not mine, either.