Chapter 12
Roman
She’s ignoring my calls and texts.
When I came back to my hotel room, I had a grin so wide my damn face hurt. I was happy. I told Ava she was mine, and she agreed.
So why, when I was done with my shower, did I text her and get nothing back? Yes, I knew she was being an amazing friend and watching over Tasha, but Tasha was passed out when I left.
I let it go, telling myself she was tired. I didn’t want to be one of those obsessed, clingy men. Ava is a grown woman, and it was late.
That was two days ago. It’s Saturday night now, and I leave tomorrow. I’ve been calling and texting her, but... nothing. She hasn’t responded.
I’m not one to get upset, to worry about a woman. If they no longer had any interest in me, I move on. It’s life. I can’t force someone to be with me if they don’t want to.
However, I know that’s not the case with Ava. Something happened that freaked her out, and I need to know what.
Did I come on too strong? Was it too soon, too fast?
Fuck, I didn’t mean to scare her. My feelings for her... they are just so damn intense. She’s mine, and I’m not letting her get away that easily.
So, that’s why I’m standing outside her apartment like a fucking creeper.
Tasha texted me that she was going out with some friends but promised we would get lunch tomorrow before I left. When I asked her if Ava was going, she told me no, that Ava was staying in tonight, something about being sick.
Maybe that’s why she hasn’t been answering? But if she’s sick, I want to be there to take care of her.
The idea of her laying in bed, sick and in pain, doesn’t sit right with me.
The cool night air blows around me as I make my way up the front steps of the apartment building.
Finding their apartment number, I press the buzzer button and wait.
“Hello?” her sweet voice fills my ears, making my heart rate pick up and my cock twitch.
“I know you’ve been avoiding me, Princess. So, how about you let me up, and we talk about this.” I wait and listen for her to respond. But nothing. “Fucking hell,” I mutter, grabbing my phone from my pocket.
I’m about to start blowing up her phone like a crazy person when I see her stepping into the lobby.
Slowly, I put my phone away, watching her walk towards me. She looks so damn beautiful in a simple cream-colored cashmere sweater and black leggings.
She chews on her lower lip, dark circles under her eyes. She looks like she’s been crying. A low growl rumbles in my chest at the thought of her upset and crying.
Hesitantly, she opens the door. “What are you doing here?” she asks me, her voice low and soft.
I don’t give her a chance to change her mind and push my way into the building. Her wide blue eyes stare up at me as I tower over her. “Want to tell me why, just the other night, we agreed that you are mine and I am yours, and now you’re ghosting me?” I growl, my anger getting the better of me. “I love you, Ava, and I’m sorry if that freaked you out. I’m sorry if that was too much, too fast. But if that is the case, then we can talk about it like adults. I know I’m a lot older than you, but you’re not a child, so don’t pull some high school bullshit on me and ignore me.”
Her eyes well with tears, and I instantly feel like an asshole. “It’s not that.” Her voice wobbles. “I love you, Roman. I do.” She starts to cry, and my heart cracks in half.
Sighing, I pull her into my arms, holding her close to my body. Her vanilla scent fills my nose, calming me immensely. “Then talk to me, Ava. Please.”
“Not here.” She takes a step back. “Come. We can talk in my apartment. Tasha is gone for the night.”
I don’t tell her I know, that I was trying to get information out of my daughter about her.
Her small, soft hand grasps mine as she leads me toward the elevator. I can sense something is wrong with each passing second. Something that I know I’m not going to like.
The ride is quick and silent, my stomach twisting as we step out of the elevator and over to her apartment.
She lets me in and closes the door behind me.
Turning around, I see her standing by the door, hand still on the handle.
“Ava?”
She takes a shuddering breath and turns to face me, and my heart shatters.
“We can’t do this.” Tears are spilling down her cheeks. “I should have turned around that first night when I saw it was you.”
My pulse spikes, hands clutching at my side. “Don’t say that, Princess.” My nostrils flare. “Don’t you fucking dare tell me you regret us.”
“I don’t,” she confirms, stepping forward. “I couldn’t even if I wanted to. But Roman, as much as the idea of you and me sounds perfect, we can’t be together.”
“Why not? Is it the age gap? I don’t care about that.”
“It’s not that.” She shakes her head. “Can you look me in the eyes and tell me that if Tasha disapproved of us, you would keep dating me? That you wouldn’t let her feelings about us affect your decision to be with me?”
Fuck. I knew we would have to tell Tasha eventually. But I’ve been pushing it to the back of my mind, enjoying my time with Ava. It’s hard to think about anyone but Ava when I’m around her. I’ve fooled myself into building this future with her inside my head without thinking about the reality we live in.
“You don’t know how she’s going to react. Tasha has always been supportive of me. I don’t see why she wouldn’t be when it comes to our relationship.”
She gives me a sad smile that crushes me even more.
“But I do know what she would think.”
“What?” I blink at her in confusion. “You told her about us?”
“No.” She shakes her head. “But... at dinner, when you went to take care of the bill, she was talking about how she wished you would find someone and be happy. She listed off a bunch of things, then said you should be with someone like me.”
“Okay... that’s a good thing, right?” My eyes flick between hers with confusion, my heart teetering on the edge of hope.
“I thought so.” She lets out a humorless laugh. “Until she realized what she was saying and backtracked, making sure I knew she didn’t actually mean me, just someone like me. That the idea of the two of us filled her with disgust.” More tears fall down her cheeks.
I deflate, her words hitting me hard. “She really said that?”
Ava nods. “I got the impression that the mere idea of us together made her sick.”
“Fucking hell.” I sigh heavily, feeling like my whole world is crashing down around me. Dramatic, maybe, but it fucking hurts. It hurts to finally have the girl I’ve been pining after—no matter how fucked up it might have been—only to have her and all the future possibilities taken away.
Scrubbing a hand over my face, I sit down on the couch. Ava moves to sit on the coffee table in front of me.
I hate how wrecked she looks. “Ava, baby, I love you.” My voice breaks. “I don’t want to lose you.”
“I know,” her voice cracks. “I don’t want to lose you either. But let’s be real about this. We could tell her about us. But is that something we want to risk? Even after knowing that the idea of us makes her sick? If I tell her I’ve been fucking her dad, that I now want to have a life with him, and she doesn’t approve, I’ll lose my best friend. And Roman, I would hate myself if I was the one to come between the two of you. You’re all she’s got, and I’d never take that away from her.”
“Fuck!” I clench my fists before pressing them to my forehead.
I could be selfish, I could say fuck it and risk it all to be with Ava. But she’s right. I can’t lose my daughter. I can’t.
“I’m not ready for this to be over. I’m not ready to say goodbye.” How can this be happening? I was so fucking happy just a few days ago. Over the damn moon about having my girl. I thought I’d never find love, and then she knocked on my door.
Maybe I’m fooling myself. Maybe it’s not love, just really strong feelings. Like I enjoy being with Ava, who I am when I’m with her, and how she makes me feel.
I’ve only been with her for a week, right? I can’t truly fall in love with her that quickly.
Yet, the idea of never seeing her again, never holding her in my arms as we cuddle together, just finding comfort in the silence and each other’s warmth, guts me to my core.
The idea of me leaving here tomorrow and moving on with my life... I don’t like it. I don’t even want to think about it.
The thought of her being with another man makes me want to murder someone. The thought of touching another woman makes me want to puke.
“I’m not ready either. But it’s time, Roman. We just weren’t meant to be. Maybe in another life.”
“But you’re mine,” I growl, panic clawing at my chest. I’m a stupid fool for letting myself get to this point. It was only supposed to be for the week. Nothing but sex and a good time. Why did I fucking have to go and want more? Why did I set myself up for heartache?
I keep myself closed off for a good reason.
That’s what I should have done. But I can’t bring myself to regret what we did or how I fell for her.
The voice inside of me is telling me to fight for her. To tell her fuck everything, that she’s mine, and I’m never letting her go.
Maybe I could plead with Tasha, ask her to see reason. Maybe if I tell Tasha how much I care for Ava, she will change her mind.
“I’m not.” Ava shakes her head, crying harder. I just want to pull her into my arms and tell her everything’s going to be alright. But right now, that feels like the furthest thing from the truth.
I’m going to convince her. Before I leave here, I’m going to have Ava agreeing to sit down and talk to Tasha with me. I can’t walk away from Ava without at least trying to fight for her, can I?
“One more night,” I plead with her, just needing her to let me stay with her for a little while longer. “Let me have you for one more night. Please.”
She chews on her bottom lip, wiping her tears with the sleeve of her shirt. “Okay.” She nods. “Stay with me. One more night.”
I plan on reminding her what it’s like to be with me. The pure fucking magic we make when we’re in the same room. How she feels against me, me inside her. I will show her just how much I love her, giving her a reason to fight alongside me. I know she’s afraid of what Tasha will say—I am, too—but I need her to fight for us, to at least try. And if we do, and it still can’t go our way, the fact is, we would have done everything we could have to be together without destroying our lives in the process.
She’s my love, my Princess. I can’t let her go. By the time I’m done with her, she won’t be able to say no.