Chapter 4
CHAPTER 4
C HARLIE
Shelly doesn’t say a word for the entire fifteen-minute drive from Trina’s house to hers. The silence doesn’t bother me, except I know it usually means she’s angry or upset about something. Coupled with the fact that she barely spoke to me at the cookout, I assume I did something that bothered her. After parking in her driveway, I turn off the truck and angle my body to face her.
“Do you want to talk about whatever has you upset?”
Shelly scoffs. “What makes you think I’m upset, Fitz? Why should I be?”
It feels like a trick question, but I decide to answer it anyway.
“You’ve been quiet all afternoon and the fact that you haven’t said one word to me on the drive home makes it obvious.”
“Oh, I’m the one who’s obvious ?” Sarcasm drips from her voice and her fair skin flushes bright red.
Frustration creeps into my chest, so I close my eyes and take a deep breath. I lean my head back on the headrest.
“Can we not do the beating around the bush thing tonight, please? Just tell me what’s wrong.” I glance over at her.
She forces a laugh but frowns at me. “Sure. I’ll tell you what’s wrong. I’m sick of my boyfriend paying more attention to another woman than to me and making it clear he has a thing for her.”
“What are you talking about?” I ask. My muscles tense at what I’m pretty sure is a fight coming, a tight ache already starting in my jaw. I turn to look at her and she’s leaning against the passenger door, facing me with arms folded across her chest and lips pursed.
“I’m talking about you and Emily. Please help me understand why she has a boyfriend but is constantly needing mine. Her car battery dies, you run to the rescue. She’s sick and Trina’s at work and you’re the one who goes to the store to get her medicine. She has a fight with her boyfriend, and you make me walk into a party by myself so you can comfort her.”
“Jesus, Shelly. She’s my friend. That’s the stuff I do for friends.”
“Is ogling her all day part of being friends? Do you think I didn’t notice you looking at her every time I checked today?” she sneers.
“You were checking to see if I was looking at her? First, I was not, and second, you’re being jealous for no reason.”
Wrong choice of words…
Shelly’s eyes narrow to thin slits and her lips tighten. “I am not jealous of Emily Flynn. I’m pissed that she plays the damsel in distress card, and you fall for it every time. I’m a woman and she’s just a silly?—”
“Stop. You need to stop right now.” I clench my teeth to prevent myself from saying more. I’ll put up with a lot, but I won’t sit here and let her unfairly criticize Emily. I turn and stare forward at the windshield.
We sit in silence for a minute or two and Shelly’s glare burns into the side of my face. I don’t want to speak because my hackles are up from how she spoke about Emily, and I know my words will come out angry.
“Do you care about her?” Shelly asks with a whisper, the fight from just a few moments ago gone from her voice.
I continue to stare at the windshield, hesitant to answer.
“Of course I care about her. She’s my friend.”
Shelly sighs deeply. “Please, just answer me. Do you care about her as more than a friend?”
My hands find the steering wheel and I grip it with all my strength, as if that will somehow make this conversation stop.
“For fuck’s sake, Shelly. Why are we having this conversation? Everything is fine with you and me.”
Her next words come out hushed, so much so that I barely hear them. “Are they? We’ve been dating for six months now and we’re no closer to a commitment than we were when we started.”
I run my hand through my hair and sigh before looking at her again.
“I told you when we started seeing each other that I couldn’t offer you anything serious. Just casual dating.”
“I-I know. But I thought with time you’d see how good we are together and change your mind.” The trembling in her voice causes me to look over at her and I wish I hadn’t, because the tears rolling down her cheeks scream that I’m an asshole for hurting her.
“I’m not trying to hurt you. I’m trying to do the right thing by you. It’s not a good idea to get attached to someone like me. I’m not relationship material.”
She sniffles. “Well, it’s too late. I’m already attached. I-I thought maybe you were, too. And I can handle the fact that you’re best friends with Trina, though any woman in her right mind would feel threatened by it. But I’m just asking you to put some boundaries up with Emily. To let someone else take care of her when she needs something.”
Not able to give her the response I know she wants, I remain silent. I won’t do what she asks regarding Emily. Even if I wanted to—which I don’t—I’m pretty sure I’m not capable of it.
Understanding washes over Shelly’s face and sadness fills her eyes, her mouth curving downward into a defeated frown. She unbuckles her seatbelt, then says, “Let’s just go in for the night and we can talk about it tomorrow.”
“I’m sorry, Shelly. I can’t.” My voice is steady, as I’m sure I’m doing the right thing.
“Huh? I thought you said you’d stay tonight?” A look of confusion mars her pretty face.
“That was the plan. But I think that’s probably not a good idea now. I’m sorry, but I think we probably shouldn’t continue this. You deserve more than I can give you.”
If Shelly could shoot fire from her eyes, I’m pretty sure I’d be incinerated. She’s gone from sad and confused to furious in a split-second.
“Are you kidding me? You’re breaking up with me?” She practically spits the words at me.
I want to look away but, at the very least, I owe it to her to look her in the eye for this. “I am.”
A loud huff escapes her and she opens the door to my truck and jumps out. Before shutting it, she glares at me. “You know, I thought I was pitiful because, even though you couldn’t bother to deny feeling something for Emily or promise you’d quit being at her beck and call, I was still going to let you fall into my bed and fuck me like all the other nights. But out of the two of us, I’m not the pathetic one here.”
And with that, the jarring thud of her slamming the truck door ends the conversation. I watch to make sure she gets safely into the house, then pull away, wishing it felt like she was wrong about me being pathetic. But it doesn’t.