Chapter 17
CHAPTER 17
C HARLIE
Cool air blasts my face when I open the freezer in search of what to heat for dinner. Unfortunately, none of the frozen meals in the neat stack appeal to me right now. Maybe I’ll just have cereal. I shut the freezer door and move toward the cupboard to get a box of cereal down when a loud knocking echoes from the front of the house.
What the hell? Who would be at my door on a Friday night?
It’s not Trina’s classic knock, plus she’s working today. I glance down at what I’m wearing—a white undershirt and gray sweatpants. Oh, well. I didn’t expect anyone, so I opted for comfortable. Someone shows up unannounced, this is what they get.
When I reach the door and pull it open, my jaw drops when I find Emily on my doorstep. She has a large reusable grocery bag in one hand and her other hand is raised, ready to knock again. I’m speechless. Emily has never been to my house in the years I’ve owned it, so I’m not sure how she even knows where I live.
“It’s freezing out here. Aren’t you going to invite me in?”
“Shit, yeah. Sorry about that. Come on in.” I step back so she can enter the small room that serves as a mudroom in my home, still confused as to why she’s here.
She extends the bag to me, and I take it from her. It’s heavier than I expected. “Go put that in the kitchen, please, while I get my coat and boots off.”
I listen without question, walking to the kitchen and setting the bag on the island then I return across the open floor plan to find her. When I get to the doorway of the mudroom, she’s running her hand along the wood of the built-in storage.
She must hear me because she looks over her shoulder and smiles at me. “Charlie, I love this. Did you build it?”
“I did. It’s no big deal, though. C’mon, let’s get you by the fire and warmed up.”
I turn and walk into the main part of the house and head toward the fireplace, but still at her gasp. When I turn around, Emily’s bright blue eyes are wide, her mouth hanging open in the shape of an O , and she’s slowly revolving in a circle, taking in my home.
“Charlie,” she whispers. “This is amazing. Absolutely stunning. You did all this?”
I simply shrug, uncomfortable with the compliment. I guess growing up with my dad repeatedly telling me I couldn’t do anything right has made it awkward for me to hear praise.
“It’s not a big deal. I have a lot of time on my hands, and you can learn almost anything on the internet.”
“Not this, you can’t. Sure, the techniques can be learned, and skills can be honed. But the way you’ve put it all together to make it so beautiful is innate. You’ll have to give me a full tour, but we need to eat first so the food doesn’t get cold.”
“Eat? Huh?” I ask.
Emily laughs and it’s a beautiful sound. “Oh, yeah. Sorry, I forgot to explain why I’m here. I brought dinner and some wine. I figured we could watch a movie or something after. Hang out. It’s Friday night, after all.”
“Oh, um?—”
Her eyebrows rise midway up her forehead, and her cheeks fill in with a bright red flush. “Oh, shit. I’m so sorry. You probably have plans. I should have called first. I can leave.”
I quickly close the distance between us, putting my hands on her shoulders.
“Sunshine, it’s okay. I don’t have plans. I’m just surprised is all. I didn’t even know you knew where I live.”
“Oh, well I didn’t. But I just searched the internet and found it.”
Now it’s my turn to laugh. “You could have just asked me for my address.” I realize I still have my hands on her shoulders, so I drop them down to my sides.
She looks downward, breaking our eye contact, and rubs her hands down her thighs in a nervous gesture.
“I was afraid you’d say no. And I haven’t seen you in the two weeks since New Year’s Eve. I-I wanted to hang out with you.”
Before I can think better of it, I place my thumb under her chin and lift her head until her gaze meets mine.
“Hey. I’m glad you’re here. You never have to worry that I’m gonna say no if you want to hang out. Unless I’m working or have plans I can’t cancel, which would be rare, I’ll always choose to hang out with you. I went a long time missing our friendship, so we’ve got time to make up for. Okay?”
“Okay,” she whispers. “And I missed you, too, Charlie.”
Her smile is back, and relief fills me. I hate seeing this woman sad or embarrassed or doubting herself.
“Let’s go eat, shall we?” I ask. She nods and I point her toward the kitchen and dining area, which is partially hidden by the two-sided fireplace.
When we get to the kitchen, I don’t realize I’m holding my breath waiting for her reaction until she speaks.
“Oh, my God.” She whips around to look at me. “This kitchen. It’s exactly how I would design my dream kitchen.”
She walks over and literally caresses the farmhouse sink, then lifts her head to peer out the window situated over it. What she can’t see is that the view overlooks a flower bed that I plant sunflowers in every year. Because they remind me of her.
As she turns to the walnut butcher block countertop on the large island, she leans down and rests her cheek against the wood, closing her eyes and sighing.
“I think I’m in love with your kitchen,” she teases.
I chuckle in response, not taking my eyes off of her. Pride swells in my chest at her reaction. When she lifts her cheeks off the butcher block, she gasps. I follow her line of vision to the oversized gas range with a pot filling faucet above it.
“Holy hell. I seriously feel like I’m dreaming.” She whirls around to face me. “Charlie, you have to let me come over and cook here. It’s sinful to have a kitchen this gorgeous and only use it to microwave frozen meals or pop processed waffles in the toaster.”
I grin at her. “You’re welcome to come use the kitchen anytime. I can even get you a key in case you want to come spend time with the kitchen when I’m at work.” I wink at her, and she laughs.
“Don’t tempt me.” Her smile is huge and I’m happy to know I brought her some joy. Even if it is just by how I designed my kitchen.
She walks over to the grocery bag she brought and pulls out two silicone trivets, places them on the counter, then lifts out a large glass casserole dish and places it on top of the silicone. She follows this with a smaller dish. Next, she lifts a dish towel from the bag and unwraps it to reveal a loaf of bread that looks and smells homemade. Finally, she removes a plate of decadent looking brownies and sets them on the island.
“I made a chicken paprikash casserole, roasted carrots, and homemade bread. Will you please get us plates and silverware?” Her smile lights up the room when she looks at me.
I do as she asks, then remove the cork from the wine she brought and pour us both a glass. We fill our plates with food that looks amazing with the bright colors of the paprika and carrots, and smells deliciously smoky.
This is so much better than having cereal.
We spend the next half hour eating dinner at the large farmhouse table and my stomach couldn’t be more pleased. I’m pretty sure I just fell a little bit in love with Emily.
I lift my wineglass to my lips and look around at my kitchen, a lump growing in my throat when my brain reminds me that, if the design of my kitchen says anything, it says there’s no just about it. I’ve been falling in love with Emily Flynn for a long time even if I couldn’t admit it to myself.
I shove the thought down. That can never happen. It’s out of the question, so no sense even entertaining the idea.
* * *
EMILY
I’ve spent the last two weeks wishing I could hang out with Charlie, but not brave enough to just text him and ask. So, where I somehow found the courage to basically internet stalk him to find his address, then show up on his doorstep, is beyond me. But I’m glad I did because sitting here having dinner together has been great. I love to cook, and mostly from scratch. Something about getting the seasonings and spices to blend in just the right proportions reminds me of a symphony where each part plays its role perfectly to create a harmonious work of art.
But I’m one person and there’s only so much food I can fit in this five-foot one-inch frame. Besides, for me, half the joy of cooking is watching people I care about enjoy a meal I’ve prepared. And, if the number of times Charlie has closed his eyes and quietly moaned as his mouth wraps around his fork is any indication, he’s most definitely enjoying the food. I’m not sure he’s even aware he’s doing it but I’m getting a kick out of it.
When we’re both done eating, Charlie and I make quick work of cleaning up, and I fill some containers to leave leftovers for him, though he insists I don’t have to. I want to, though—I hate the thought of him eating the pre-packaged frozen meals I know he usually does.
Charlie clears his throat and I look over at him. “So, do you want to see the rest of the place? I’ve not had a chance to remodel the upstairs yet, but I’ll show it to you if you want.”
“Um, do you know me? Remember how nosy I can be? Of course I want to see it.”
Charlie laughs at my teasing but we both know I’m only half joking.
“Okay then, follow me. First, I’ll show you the remainder of the main floor.”
I follow as Charlie leaves the main kitchen area, and he heads to the back wall of the house.
He stops outside a door and turns to face me.
“This room is one of my favorites in the house even though it’s not remodeled yet. It almost makes me wish I had a job that required a home office. Almost, but not quite.” He grins at me as he opens the door.
When I step into the room, it nearly takes my breath away. Before me is a gorgeous space that could be a home office or a study. It has exposed beams in the ceiling, one entire wall of gorgeous built-in wooden bookshelves and a wall of windows overlooking what must be acres and acres of woods. On the wall opposite the bookshelves are French doors leading out to a deck. There’s an opening in the trees with what appears to be a path, but I can’t see where it leads.
“Oh my gosh, this is amazing. The room is beautiful as is, but if you plan to remodel it, I can only imagine what it’ll look like. Where does the path in the woods lead to?”
“There’s a small lake out there. I replenished the fish stock when I first moved in two years ago and have avoided fishing in it yet, so they can breed, but I can start this winter. In fact, a few of the guys and I are thinking about ice fishing soon.”
“That sounds… cold.” I chuckle.
“Yeah, it definitely wouldn’t be your cup of tea since you’re a freeze baby. C’mon, I’ll show you the rest of the house.”
Over the next several minutes, Charlie takes me through an amazing laundry room with another mudroom off the back of the house, then guides me through another door that opens to an attached workshop and storage area. The layout of the house is so unique with the living room, kitchen, and dining area all with a very open floor plan, broken up by only the gorgeous brick two-sided fireplace between the living room and dining area. This level of the house has stunning vaulted ceilings with exposed beam work and the ceiling is lined with thin cedar planks.
Visible from the main level, a wide second story walkway runs over the east side of the house and across half the back of the house. When Charlie takes me upstairs, I see it leads to two bedrooms on the east wall of the house, each having a Juliette balcony, and they share a Jack-n-Jill bathroom.
Finally, he shows me the master bedroom that runs along the back of the house. And gosh, it has a huge walk-in closet, a large master bath, and its own balcony overlooking the woods. As I take it all in, Charlie stays mostly quiet, only speaking to point out a few things.
When we’ve seen all the rooms and are walking toward the steps to return downstairs, he looks at me and shrugs. “I know it’s pretty dated up here, but I think it’s got potential.”
I stop walking and pin my gaze on him. “Charlie, it has a ton of potential. Seriously, this house is so great. And I love what you’ve already done with it. Trina said it was, and I quote, a ‘shit hole,’ when you bought it. Now, oh my God, it’s near perfect.”
He bellows with laughter at Trina’s description. “Yeah, that sounds like something she’d say.”
We resume walking down the stairs and, when we reach the bottom, I follow him toward the kitchen. I decide I should probably give Charlie an out in case he doesn’t want to spend his entire Friday night with me.
“So, I know I basically inserted myself into your Friday evening. If you want, I can go home now?—”
He spins around so fast, and I’m following so closely, that I slam into his chest, and he has to grab me by the waist to keep me from toppling backward.
“Emily, no. I don’t want you to leave. I’m glad you came over and I want you to stay. Okay?”
His large hands are still splayed across my waist, and I notice I like how it makes me feel—secure and grounded. Still, I step back, not wanting it to get awkward if we stand like this for much longer.
“Okay,” I answer.
“So, let’s grab some brownies and something to drink and then we can watch a movie, if you want, or I’ve got a few episodes of Jeopardy recorded. We can catch up on those and see who’s smarter.” The teasing lilt in his voice along with the corners of his mouth tilting up set me at ease.
Ten minutes later, I’ve got another glass of wine and Charlie has a beer, the plate of brownies rest on the coffee table in front of the couch we’re nestled on by the toasty fire watching a recorded episode of Jeopardy. It feels like old times. Charlie and I used to watch Jeopardy together at Trina’s and see who got more questions correct.
After thirty minutes in, Charlie narrows his eyes at me, tilting his head to the side, appraising me. I’ve gotten almost every question correct, except for the few I intentionally miss to throw him off. I make a mistake on the next question—art history—when I answer it correctly.
Charlie throws up his hands. “Yep. I knew it, you’re cheating. I just don’t know how. Fess up.”
“What? How dare you.” I feign offense, letting my jaw go slack and throwing my hand against my chest.
“Sunshine, you never get the art history questions right. And tonight, you’ve gotten four correct. Tell me how you’re doing it.”
I want to keep up the ruse, but I start giggling and the gig is up. I roll my eyes. “Fine. I may or may not have watched this episode last night when it was live.”
“Oh my God, have you no boundaries? You’ll even violate the sacredness of Jeopardy?”
His teasing makes me feel light inside, happy. I can’t help giggling more.
“Fine. I’m sorry, I solemnly swear never to cheat at Jeopardy again.”
“I don’t know. This stings. It’s gonna take a while to get over this. I may only trust watching live episodes with you from now on.”
I toss my head back against the couch and close my eyes, smiling. I like that Charlie talks like we’ll be watching more Jeopardy moving forward. In fact, I like everything about this evening so far and I’m really glad I came.
Charlie lets me sit quietly for a few minutes, then he grabs my foot and shakes it.
“You okay over there?”
I lift my head and turn to look at him. “Yeah, I’m great. Thanks for tonight. I really needed this.” I smile.
“Hey, I’m the one who should be thanking you. I’d have eaten cereal for dinner and sat here alone all night if it wasn’t for you.”
“Well, regardless, I’m grateful. I feel more like myself when I’m around you and I need that.”
The smile fades from Charlie’s face and he leans toward me. “What do you mean by that, sunshine?”
Suddenly feeling embarrassed, I look down at my hands for a moment until Charlie jostles my foot again. He doesn’t let go this time but wraps his hand around my ankle.
“Hey, you can tell me anything, Em.”
I lift my gaze to meet his again. “It’s stupid, really. I just… Well, I think I lost a bit of myself when I was with Teddy. It wasn’t his fault. But his energy was always the strongest in the room, commanding attention. Sometimes it felt like…” I pause, not sure how to finish. His hand gently squeezes my ankle, and it comforts me. “Sometimes it felt like there wasn’t room for me to be me. And I think that I trained myself to be less, so that he could continue to be more because I don’t think he could turn it off.”
A tear slips down my cheek. Shit, I didn’t mean for tonight to turn into me crying in front of him again .
“I just want to find myself again. I want to get back the woman I was and let her heal. And when I’m around you, I feel like I see glimpses of her.”
Charlie stares at me for a few seconds, then scoots over closer to me on the couch and lifts his arm, patting the open space with his other hand. An invitation. I take it and crawl over then nestle myself into his side.
He places a tender kiss on my hair and this— it’s what I need. To feel safe and protected, but not weak. Charlie never makes me feel weak.
After several long seconds, he says quietly. “She’s there, Em, and she’s amazing. I see her. I see you .”