Chapter 20
CHAPTER 20
E MILY
As Charlie and I stand at the back of his pickup truck and eye our haul, anxiety rises in my chest. We have several gallons of paint, boxes and boxes of tile, and luxury vinyl flooring—so much flooring.
“Oh my God, Charlie. This is a mistake.” I’m still staring at the overwhelming amount of supplies we just bought to update my townhouse before I put it on the market, but I sense him turning his head to look at me.
“What’s a mistake? Are you having second thoughts about selling?”
I face him. “What? Oh, no, I’m definitely still selling. I just mean all the updating. I can’t ask you to do all this work. It didn’t strike me just how much work painting, replacing tiling in the guest bathroom, and updating the flooring is until I saw all this packed in your truck. Maybe we should return it and I’ll just sell it as is.”
I’m not a nail biter, but I can’t stop myself from nibbling on my thumbnail as I briefly glance in the truck bed once more before meeting his gaze again.
Charlie places a hand on each of my shoulders and it’s comforting, grounding.
“First of all, you’re not making me do anything. I’m doing it because I want to. And it’s not like you’re going to be eating bon-bons and watching me—you’re helping, too. And second, it’ll help your place stand out from others in the neighborhood for sale and bring you a better price.”
I look down at the ground, running the toe of my shoe over the pavement.
“Will you at least let me pay you?”
He drops his hands from my shoulders, and I continue to stare at the ground like the shades of gray in the blacktop parking lot are the most interesting thing I’ve ever seen.
Charlie says nothing for several long seconds and the silence makes me nervous. I risk a peek up at his face and I frown. His hazel eyes are piercing mine and his expression is flat, not even a hint of a smile.
His voice is deathly quiet. “Do you really think I’d take money to help you?”
“No, not really. But I already feel bad enough that I’m monopolizing all of your free time since we’re hanging out so much now. And I’m probably totally destroying your love life. I’m sure any potential girlfriends really love the idea of you spending so much time with me and doing so much for me. It’s probably?—”
“Emily, stop. If you’re monopolizing my time, then I’m doing the same to yours. I’m exactly where I want to be and doing what I want to be doing. And you’re who I want to be doing it with. Understand?”
My vision blurs as my eyes fill with tears. I’m certain they’ll fall if I speak, so I just nod. Charlie isn’t fooled though. The way he’s looking at my eyes makes me think he can see right into my soul.
“Aw, sunshine,” he says, his voice soft. He reaches for me and tugs me into his chest, wrapping his comforting arms around me.
In the cool late March air, we stand here, neither of us moving. I’m scared. Scared of moving on from all the loss and pain of the last year. But I’m terrified not to. And so, I just need a moment, leaning into Charlie, to remind me that I’m not alone, that I’m safe and protected. I’m strong—I am—but I’m even stronger when I allow those who love me to support me.
“What do you say we go drop these supplies off in your garage and then we can go eat at Enzo’s Pizzeria? You can eat all the cheesy bread your heart desires.”
I chuckle against his chest, then pull back from the hug and peer into his eyes. “That sounds amazing. Let’s go.”
An hour later, Charlie and I have unloaded our stash and are seated in a booth at Enzo’s, waiting on the pizza we just ordered.
“Have you noticed anything off with Trina lately,” I ask. “I’m worried about her. She’s been acting skittish lately?”
“Skittish? Trina?” Charlie tilts his head at me, frowning. “I’m pretty sure I’ve never seen her behaving in a way I’d describe like that.” Charlie chuckles.
“That’s because you didn’t know her when she was a teenager, when our parents constantly made her question every decision she made. She was always nervous then. I can’t give you specifics, it’s just she’s acting in a way that reminds me of those times. And I know she probably lets you see things she hides from me, trying to protect me.”
Charlie’s forehead wrinkles and he scratches at his beard. “She’s been a little edgier at work, but she’s always very serious there. I’ll tell you what, I’m working out with her Friday before we pick you up for the shindig at Jack and Annie’s, I’ll see if I notice anything then. Okay?”
“Yeah, okay. Thanks.”
Trina’s taken care of me for as long as I can remember, bearing most of the brunt of our parents’ emotional mind games. I know she protected me from it as much as possible. She’s the strongest woman I know, but I haven’t forgotten the glimpses of strain on her face, or the times I’d see her crying when she didn’t know I was watching. Being regimented and in control is how she learned to cope. But something is off with her now, and I’m concerned about her.
I’m distracted from my thoughts when our server brings our plate of cheesy bread and places it on our table. It looks scrumptious.
“Ooh,” I say. I rub my hands together like a scheming villain.
Charlie picks up a fork and one of the bread plates and scoops a few slices onto it, then slides the plate over to me. He’s so damn thoughtful. I watch him as he plates a few pieces for himself and wonder how no woman has snatched him up and married his ass yet. He’s a catch, for sure. An ugly feeling rises up in me at the thought of Charlie with another woman. I don’t like it. At all.
When the warm cheese and Italian herbs from the bread hits my taste buds, I’m unable to hold back a moan. “So, delicious.”
Charlie’s mouth lifts at one corner, and he chews his food without making embarrassing sex-like moans.
I don’t even care. This bread is better than sex. Okay, maybe I’m only thinking that because it’s been almost nine months since I’ve had any action. Teddy and I were last together late July of last year. Jesus, how could I have been so blind? What newlyweds in their mid-twenties aren’t still having regular sex by the third month of their marriage? I should have known something was wrong.
As if he can sense my mind has drifted to a place that doesn’t benefit me, Charlie clears his throat.
“So, since you’re going to have to be house hunting soon, tell me about your dream house. If you could have any house at all, what would it be like?”
I smile at him. I like this game. “Well, first it would have your kitchen. I love your kitchen.”
“Yeah, but I’m sure you’d change something about it,” he says. He takes another bite of his cheesy bread.
“Nope. It’s literally my dream kitchen. And that’s saying a lot because you know how much I love to cook. I guess the only thing I’d add—because it’s my dream, after all—is a pizza oven out on the deck off your kitchen. Then I could make homemade pizza and try to replicate this cheesy bread.” I take another big bite of my bread.
“Okay. What else?”
“Hmmm. Well, I’d love an amazing bathroom. I saw a bathroom on a home remodel show with a gorgeous, enormous copper soaking tub. It was beautiful. I’d get one of those put in for when I needed to soak after a hard day at work or in the garden—because I’m gonna have a huge garden and grow a bunch of my own veggies and herbs for cooking.”
“Mhmm. That sounds relaxing. You’d get a nice patina on the copper over time, too.”
“Yeah.” I sigh imagining soaking in it. “Like today, after all this lifting we did to move the flooring, it would be so nice to soak in a bubble bath.” I pause and sigh. “Oh, and then my shower. You should see it, Charlie.”
Charlie lets out a throaty laugh. “Tell me about it.”
“Well, it would be nice and big—for two people— and it would be one of those showers with two rainfall shower heads, across from each other.”
Charlie coughs on the bite of food in his mouth and his face turns red.
“Oh, Charlie,” I tease, “don’t be such a prude. Couples shower together, you know.” I’m sure I’ve never seen him truly embarrassed until now, and I can’t help but laugh.
“Okay, okay,” he manages to get out. “I think I’ve heard enough.”
I smirk, impressed with myself for shocking him. Just when I’m about to say more, our server arrives with our pizza and I’m certain it’s relief I see spreading across Charlie’s handsome face.
* * *
CHARLIE
The ferocity on Trina’s face as she throws rapid fire punches is something I haven’t seen on her in years. The last time was in fire academy when she felt she had to constantly prove herself to the assholes who made no secret of the fact they didn’t believe a woman should be a firefighter.
I guess she showed them—she’s now the captain over several of them. And boy, have their attitudes changed. She’s saved several of their butts more than once, either by carrying them out of a building when injured, or with her quick thinking and amazing firefighting skills. Not a soul could ever claim she didn’t one hundred percent earn her spot as captain.
Distracted, I grin just thinking about it. Which is my first mistake, because Trina takes advantage and lands a roundhouse kick that has me flying two feet toward the wall. My second mistake is throwing down the strike pads we use for our sparring and lifting my hands out toward her to stop her assault.
“Okay. You win today. But don’t think you could normally knock me back like?—”
She rams me smack in the torso like a damn bull, knocking the wind out of me and pushing me so far back I actually hit the wall this time.
When I catch my breath, I say, “Jesus, woman. What’s gotten into you?”
Apparently satisfied that she’s handed me my ass, she allows herself to flop down on the ground, lying flat on the dusty gym floor while she catches her breath. I retrieve our water bottles from the bench and hand her one, then take a long drink of mine. She leans up just long enough to chug down half of the bottle of water, then returns to her supine position. I set my bottle on the floor and lie next to her, staring up at the ceiling.
“So, do you want to talk about what’s bothering you?”
Trina snorts. “Um, do you know me? Of course I don’t want to talk about it.” As if realizing she just admitted something is, in fact, bothering her, she adds on, “And there’s not even anything to talk about.”
“Hmm.” I turn my head to face her.
Trina whips her head around to look at me.
“ Hmm ? What the hell is that supposed to mean?” Trina practically hisses the words at me.
I lift a single eyebrow and cock my head at her.
“You tell me. Emily said you’ve been acting weird since you returned from the Fire Service conference in New Orleans last week. Not to mention I’m pretty sure you were imagining someone’s face on those strike pads.”
A sarcastic huff flies from her, and she mutters something inaudible under her breath.
“Does it have anything to do with the flowers you got at work last shift?”
“What the actual hell? Men love to say women can’t keep their mouths shut but you guys at the station are the gossipiest littles bitches I know. Tell me who was running their mouth?” Her words are demanding, but she forgets that she’s my best friend, not my boss.
“Calm down. No one was gossiping about you. I saw them in the trash when I came into work the next day and asked what that was about. One of the guys said you got them, tore the card up into tiny pieces and tossed it all in the trash.”
She lifts herself off the ground, resting one forearm on her bent knees and using the other to pour the rest of her water down her throat.
“Are you dating someone you haven’t told me about? And, if so, what did he do to piss you off so bad you tossed his flowers?” I run my hand through my hair—I’m worried about her.
She’s usually grumpy, but in an endearing way. Right now, she just seems stressed out and pissed off.
“I wish it were as simple as that.” Her voice is so low I almost miss her words. Before I can respond, she stands and extends a hand to help me up. “C’mon, we need to hit the showers. We’re supposed to be at Annie and Jack’s for their March Madness party in an hour and we still have to stop and pick up Emily.”
I take the olive branch of her extended hand, but once I’m standing, I don’t release it right away. She pins me with a glare, but I’m not afraid of her. I know when she’s like this, something has made her feel off kilter.
“Hey, listen. I know I’m not, you know, like very good with words, but I love you, Tri. And if you need to talk or need me to help you bury a body or something, remember I’ve got a lot of land”—I smile at her and she rolls her eyes in response—“and I’ve got your back. Anything you need.”
She pushes me in the shoulder with her free hand. “Can we braid each other’s hair, too?” Her voice is dripping with sarcasm, but I know that’s her defense mechanism, and the smirk threatening to escape her tight hold on it as she turns away from me betrays her.
I chuckle, following behind her as we head to the locker rooms.
“I thought maybe painting nails would be fun, but if you really want to braid hair instead, we can.” I’m rewarded for my attempt at humor by hearing her laugh echo through the locker room door after she disappears through it.
An hour later, we’ve picked up Emily and just parked on the street across from Annie and Jack’s house. Trina jumps out of the truck, and I pull the back door open for Emily. I carry the taco dip and chips that Emily made and the plastic storage container of homemade chocolate chip cookies she insisted on baking when I said I was going to buy some store-bought cookies to bring. As we stroll up the driveway, I chuckle and both Trina and Emily look at me.
“What are you laughing at?” Trina asks.
“I’m just remembering how Emily’s eyes nearly bulged out of her head, and she went white as a ghost when I suggested bringing store brought cookies.”
Trina lets out a guffaw and a cute giggle escapes from Emily.
“Well, what are we, Charlie? Savages? Just because you two are completely inept in a kitchen doesn’t mean everyone else has to suffer.” Emily’s light teasing tone is just what it seems Trina needs to ease away the last thread of her earlier agitation that’s been clinging to her.
When we get to the door, we knock and walk in, the gathering already in full swing. We make our rounds, greeting our friends, and I look around and note that Janie, Annie’s best friend and a nurse from First City ER is here, Alex Reynolds, a fellow firefighter on shift with Jack and me is here with his twin girls, Shayna and her son, Tommy, Jack and Shayna’s little sister, Shyley and her husband, Lincoln are here as well. A few minutes after we arrive, Ben shows up and I swear I hear Trina huff. That’s not surprising. Anyone in our friend group with eyes knows Trina is not a fan of Ben Donley.
We spend the next few hours eating, watching the game, and I play with Annie and Jack’s dogs. Both dogs are great, and their shepherd mix Gracie is so damn smart. But their lab, Bean, what a pup he is—so playful and affectionate. I’ve wanted a Labrador retriever for years, but my work schedule prohibits me from being able to get a dog. It’s not like I could leave a dog home alone while I work a twenty-four-hour shift. So, I’ll just have to wait until retirement to make that dream happen. In the meantime, I’ll have to get my dog fix from visiting my friends’ four-legged family members. Well, that and stalking the puppy pics on the website for the breeder Annie got Bean from, since, in a moment of weakness, I asked her for the information.
As I sit on the floor petting Bean, I look around at our friends all gathered here. Warmth fills me when it strikes me that these are my people, my chosen family. I love my mom and refrain from beating the shit out of my dad, for her sake, but these people here, the camaraderie and connection we all have is unparalleled. And I’m immensely grateful for them.